rhythms and routines

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Wednesday Randomosity: Assorted Tidbits and Updates Edition

It’s Wednesday and we are somehow nearly halfway through January. Let’s have some bullets, shall we?

Rough Return to Routine: Re-entry post holiday break has been A Challenge. In trying to leave my cozy cocoon, I have a lot of empathy for creatures who swathe themselves in gauze only to be forced, weak-limbed and light-stunned, back into the real world.

Part of the problem, of course, is that we got on a totally awful sleep schedule during the break, and that has been challenging to reverse. I like to think of myself as a morning person, but really, I’m fine staying up late and sleeping late if that’s a workable schedule. As it was for fifteen straight days. I tried, oh I tried, to ease us back into eight-thirty bedtimes and six am wakeups, but it did not stick for anyone. (On my end, I managed to get back to five-thirty wakeups, with a lot of help from the cat, but I have not managed to get to bed before midnight more than once or twice.)

The other part of the problem, in my opinion, is that there’s been no gradual reincorporation into normalcy. It’s just, like, BAM, back into it. It’s got to be even harder for my poor kid, who’s the one enduring school and all her activities; I’m just driving her around, and that’s messing me up completely. The past weekend was PACKED with stuff. Between Friday and today, my kid has had two appointments, a sleepover with her grandparents, five extra-curricular activities, one performance, and a birthday party. That doesn’t even count three days of school. We didn’t get home until after ten Monday night and when Carla had a hard time waking up yesterday morning, even though I let both of sleep in an extra forty-five minutes, I did not blame her one bit.

The cat has NOT been happy with all these shifting schedules, let me tell you. He doesn’t seem to be finding as much interest in his normal suite of toys and playing. His eating schedule is all out of whack. He – who is normally a pretty silent cat – has been wandering around mewing plaintively, and then flopping at my feet, and then either purring when I pet him or biting my hand (usually he just lies there contentedly while I pet him). Is he sick? Is he hurt? Is he bored? Is he confused about where the other two humans have disappeared to? Is he depressed? Or is he just complaining about the lack of a steady, reliable schedule?

What I’m Reading: I did not mean to vague post the other day, when I mentioned the book I was considering DNFing. It was, indeed, Heart the Lover (bookshop.org / amazon). But I soldiered on and as soon as I got to page 20, I hit my stride and then I couldn’t put it down. It felt, in some ways, very similar to The Goldfinch (bookshop.org / amazon) – where bloomed, out of a perfectly readable and engaging story, an epiphany that felt life-changing. Now I have the difficult task of finding a book to follow that one. Any suggestions? I feel like the next one is bound to pale in comparison, so maybe I will just pick up a book I don’t have high hopes for.

I am listening to The Long Night by Christian White (bookshop.org / amazon) (I love the rhythm of the title and author pairing, and the unintentional rhyme) and it’s an excellent fast-paced thriller. I recall reading a few reviews that criticized it for being confusing, and I have reached the point where I understand what all the complaints are about; yesterday, I paused the audiobook and stood in my kitchen, knife poised over a half-sliced cucumber, trying to get everything straight in my head. I think I understand? Well, we’ll see.

Things I’ve Bought Lately: I did a mini refresh of kitchen staples: new pot holders, new trivets, new spatulas, new whisk. It is quite pleasing to retrieve a hot pan from the oven with a fresh pot holder, free of holes and stains and burn marks. I also went a little wild and replaced my microplane… and my new one is so much better I am kicking myself for not replacing it earlier. The only kitchen refreshments I have left to buy are a new kitchen mat and new cutting boards. The cutting boards are throwing me for a loop. I don’t think I want plastic ones, but I definitely want cutting boards I can throw in the dishwasher. Instagram has recently been serving me all sorts of content about titanium cutting boards, but I’m suspicious. Perhaps I want these paper composite boards instead?

In non-kitchen purchases, I bought myself a new foot file.

It works great.

But. It reminds me a little too much of my new microplane. Worry not; I am storing them in separate rooms of the house.

Resolution in Progress: One of my New Year’s resolutions is to appear in more photos this year. At an event earlier this week, I tried to gamely follow through. I forced my husband to take a couple selfies (ussies?) of the two of us. I forced someone’s husband to take a picture of a bunch of the women together. The one of me and my husband resides safely on his phone, where I may one day in several months revisit it with kinder eyes. However, I cannot bring myself to send the group photo to any of the other women because I hate my image so fiercely. I need to. I am going to. The other women all look darling. And I can kind of talk myself into thinking that I look so terrible in large part because of where I am in the group – on the side, right up at the edge of the photo – and also I am holding two bulky jackets and that just doesn’t look cute at all. But I think I need A Plan for appearing in photos in such a way as to encourage additional photo taking. Perhaps I need to study up on photo poses and push past my fear of annoying people to request specific angles and multiple options from whichever poor soul winds up being my photographer of the moment.

Things I’ve Done in 2026 That I Haven’t Done Before: I got bangs! This is a very recent development, so it’s possible that the excitement will fade. But right now, I love them. It was extremely gratifying to pick up Carla from school and have her immediately crow, “You got bangs! They are so cute!” and then fervently wish that she could have bangs. Also extremely gratifying was my husband’s reaction, which was smiling and intense scrutiny for a few minutes until he said, “The bangs look really good!” The last time I had bangs was in… fourth grade? Fifth? I am not counting the over-hairsprayed swoop of side bangs I wore all through middle school.

Special Projects: My dad and I installed a new light fixture in the cat’s litter box room. It took us three separate tries (Day 1: not enough wire connectors; no switch. Day 2: drill didn’t work. Day 3: finished!) but we installed it together and I did a good bit of the work. I’m not saying that I could install a light fixture on my own, but… maybe I could? I did get pretty good at wiring a switch. Things I will need if I ever want to do this by myself: electrician’s pliers, wire stripper/crimping tool, and a voltage tester.

Things I’m Eating Lately: Family friends had us over for dinner recently, and they served us this cucumber salad alongside roasted salmon, and it was so good I immediately bought a cucumber so I could make it myself. My friend omitted the toasted sesame seeds, so I did as well. I’m otherwise in kind of a food rut these days, so we’re doing a lot of Ham Sandwich for dinner around here. Ham Sandwich with a side of cucumber salad.

The Dress Hunt Persists: I am still seeking dresses for two upcoming fancy events. My husband (who was a little leery of me ordering a bunch of dresses online and returning the ones that didn’t work) and I went to An Actual Mall the other day, so I could try on dresses in department stores. That was… awful. The selection was awful, the sizing was awful. I hate trying things on in department stores. Everything about it was demoralizing.

So I finally ordered some dresses, which was my original plan all along. Two have already arrived and they fit and they are fine. The magenta one is better; I like the sleeves and the back is cute and the hem falls at a nicer place on my leg. But the silver and black one is also fine, if a tad bit too long. It should be okay if I can persuade my feet to endure heels for a night. Two others are on the way: this one, which I shared with you back in December, and this one, which I think looks fun and pretty. We’ll see, but at least I have two acceptable options, which is a huge relief.

Skin Sitch: My skin situation seems to have calmed down. My guess is that it was entirely hormonal. I have normal monthly fluctuations in my skin, but once in a while, everything seems to be so much worse than usual. Fortunately, it’s returned to normal.

Speaking of skin, I am loving my current skincare regimen, which consists of a twice-daily peptide serum, a twice-daily application of moisturizer, plus hydrating face sunscreen serum each morning, and a retinol / hyaluronic acid serum at night. (Why is everything a serum all of a sudden?) My skin feels SO SOFT when I wash my face in the mornings, and I have had two people comment on my skin in recent months. The compliments both came via salespeople in department store perfume counters, and were likely sales motivators rather than the truth, but, wow, did those women know exactly how to make me preen. (I did not buy anything from either of them; that’ll teach you to be nice, salespeople.)

My Cat, Still Catting: My cat remains a daily delight.

Okay that seems to be a good round-up of what’s going on around here. What’s going on with you?

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Five for Friday

1. For the month of September, I have been waking up at 5:41 and getting out of bed at 6:00. This past week, I’ve been pushing it back a teeny bit; my alarm goes off at 5:21 and I get out of bed at 5:45. The cat has been extremely accommodating in terms of hopping into bed and purring loudly at me at about 4:20. My question is, how freaking early do I need to get up to be able to DO things? 

    Things I’d like to do: Lie in bed for 15 minutes to do the Wordle and Connections and possibly read a blog or two. Make some tea. Take care of the cat. Unload the dishwasher. Write a blog post. Spend 10 minutes watching cat videos with Carla. Get dressed. Eat something. Get out the door on time (7:15). In an ideal world, I would also be able to exercise and shower before we leave for school, but that seems much too ambitious. It’s still something I’d LIKE to do, though.

    Things I have been able to do: Lie in bed to do my word games. Make tea. Take care of the cat. Spend 5-10 minutes watching cat videos with Carla. Get dressed. Eat something (sometimes). We haven’t been out the door on time since the first week of school. Admittedly, this isn’t always my issue. But lately I have been scrambling to be moderately presentable and still be 15 minutes late. 

    Possibly I can squeak back my out-of-bed time to 5:00; but even then, I don’t know if I’d be able to get in a blog post. Definitely not exercise, too. If you exercise before work or school, HOW????

    One of the reasons I want to work exercise into my morning routine is because it’s often the first thing I jettison if the day doesn’t proceed as planned. For the past two days, I didn’t exercise as planned because my days got thrown out of whack. It’s not the end of the world, or anything; I don’t set exercise goals, so I can’t fail, take that perfectionism – and I did at least manage a decent walk on Wednesday – but it’s frustrating when I’m trying to prioritise exercise for my mental, physical, and future health. (The British/Canadian spelling was accidental but I’m keeping it. I think Ses are much prettier than Zs.) Plus, “exercise” is a catch-all term that includes showering, putting on clothing an actual reasonable person might wear, and possibly even doing my hair and/or makeup. Even if I do a shorter workout, and even if I take a ten-minute shower, and even if I throw my wet hair up in a claw clip instead of drying it, the Exercise Plus Shower Plus Getting Ready routine takes about an hour. I have no earthly idea where I’d get a whole extra hour in the morning. I can’t go to bed earlier than nine; Carla’s bedtime is 8:30 and I read to her for thirty minutes. And if I went to bed promptly at nine, I would never see my husband, which is an unacceptable tradeoff for exercise. Listen, I know I don’t really have anything to complain about here. My schedule is very flexible, for the most part. I guess I just keep on working in a workout where I can, sometimes sacrificing it to the whims of life.

    2. I had a baking success and a baking flop this week. The flop was the apple honey cake I made in a nod to Rosh Hashanah. It looked lovely – although I had expected the apple-covered portion to be much darker and more caramelized; not sure why, the photo on the recipe page is not dark and caramelized – and it was fine. But it wasn’t my favorite. The crumb was too big; I think it compares in crumb size, if not exact texture, to cornbread (although my husband disagrees). And the cake had, to my tongue, no flavor. Also, the apples weren’t caramelized enough. The other thing I baked were brownies. Since I was making them for a loved one who’d just had surgery, and since this person is trying to avoid excess sugar and carbs, I decided to try a sugar-free (ish), flourless brownie. The brownies are flavored with dark chocolate, dates, and vanilla, and get their fluffiness from eggs and baking soda. I was skeptical, since I really am not a fan of dates. But they turned out SO well. They are fluffy and soft, rich and chocolatey, and perfectly satisfying. The only real difference I noted between these brownies and “regular brownies” is that they have a slight coconutty flavor (because they are made with coconut oil). Carla loved them; the person I intended them for loved them; I loved them. My husband’s reaction was “these are weird.” Next time, I might try them with butter instead of coconut oil, although I didn’t mind the coconut essence. I am definitely making them again. I like how I didn’t have to chop up the dates; I just let my food processor do all the work. 

    3. After your extremely helpful comments last week, Carla and I (and the cat) tackled her bedroom on Tuesday. We got rid of so much stuff. My strategy was to tell her that I would clean her room for her, she just had to tell me what to do. She had complete control over what stayed and what went into the donation pile (or the trash). I was so ready to get a handle on the mess that I only faltered once, when I saw a beautiful sweater I bought her just last year in the donation bag. But she’s the one who has to wear the clothes. If she’s not going to wear it, it shouldn’t be in her closet. We also got rid of tons of old socks and underthings that are way too small, and I placed a big order for replacements. Even though I said I would do all the work, Carla ended up doing a ton of stuff herself. She organized all her dresser drawers, for instance. AND she did all of her own laundry. She even said it was fun. While I don’t expect that will last, I feel so much relief that her laundry is now HER problem. Her clothing selection is much more manageable and her room looks so much better. 

    Oh hello there, you can’t seriously think this drawer would be better suited to T-shirts, can you?

    4. This weekend, a friend I haven’t seen for years is bringing her daughters to stay with us. I am so excited to see her! And her children, whom I anticipate I will hardly recognize, it’s been so long. One thing I’m trying very hard to do is to resist the little voice in my head that keeps saying, “She’s going to think you got so fat.” My friend, though it should not matter in the least except in terms of the pride I feel for her, is a tiny person to begin with. But she’s also extremely fit – like, she literally has two World records in the fitness arena. My little inner voice, which apparently ignores what a nice and non-judgy person my friend is, thinks she will judge me for being large and soft. 

    Here are my coping thoughts: When I went to my twentieth college reunion a few years ago, I was shocked by how OLD some of my classmates seemed. Some of them were balding, or had grey hair, or looked like – gasp! – middle-aged moms. It was especially shocking to see these aging people next to my dear friends, who looked exactly the same as they’d looked twenty years before. Obviously, it wasn’t that my close friends remained unchanged while people I didn’t know well had aged poorly. It was that my love imbued the people dear to me with youth and beauty that transcends time. I experienced this phenomenon more recently, when I got to see a college friend perform with his college band. The bar was packed with a bunch of half-drunk middle-aged farts. But my friend and his band were exactly as they were back in college. Love is transformative in so many ways, and I think it can allow you to see your people in their best light. The way I look at my husband, a distinguished, respected physician who brings hope and relief to so many patients, and see only the cute charming finance major I met nearly a quarter century ago. Anyway, I am trying with all my heart to believe that my fit friend is going to arrive and see past my frumpy, overweight, perimenopausal self to her dear friend of many years.

    5. I have two recent purchases to recommend. One is a fidget toy. Carla apparently saw that a classmate had one, and she wanted one, too. So I caved and got it for her. It’s not silent, per se, but it’s very quiet – just makes a soft shuck when it changes shape. And it is very cool; the shape shifting is mesmerizing. Even the cat likes it. Speaking of the cat, we bought him yet another cat toy. (The poor cat is once again hiding under the bed; it’s been a traumatic week, and he does not do well with loud sounds. This time, the loud sound was me putting ice cubes in the dryer to de-wrinkle my duvet cover. He has never scratched me before, but I have three large gashes to commemorate this particular trauma.) Anyway: this toy is perfect for him. It has a little butterfly dangler on the top, it has a couple of balls on a track that he can push around, and it has a little fringey thing who pokes his fringey face out of hidey holes at random around the circumference of the base. This toy is electronic (uses batteries or a charger) and it has several settings. With one, just the fringey guy hides and appears. Another setting turns the butterfly dangler on, so that it spins, stops, and spins the opposite way. Another setting has both things happen either at once or one after another, I haven’t figured it out yet. It will turn itself off after a few minutes if the cat ignores it for awhile, and then it turns back on as soon as he touches it. Leo LOVES this thing. I put it up on top of a cabinet when he’s not using it (so he doesn’t get bored with it – cats get bored so easily) and he will walk over to the cabinet and look longingly at it and meow until I fetch it down for him. 

    Keeping this butterfly thing AND the little fringey guy in line is a very serious endeavor.
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    Tuesday Randomosity: Shopping and Entertaining and Far Too Hot Edition

    Vent vent. The appliance repair person came last week to examine my hood vent. He opened up the hood vent, asked me to describe the problem, diagnosed the issue as a faulty user interface (the piece that has the buttons that turn the fan on and off), looked up the part, and discovered that my hood vent is discontinued and he cannot source a part for it. All this, including when I tearfully begged him to at least disconnect the fan so that it would stop running at all hours of the day and night, took five minutes and cost $160. I am still salty about the whole thing. (I emailed the vent hood manufacturer weeks ago, asking about companies that service this hood vent. I also gave the model number of my hood vent to the appliance repair company. Why neither of those people bothered to inform me that the hood vent was DISCONTINUED is beyond me.) But at least the fan is OFF. (And we can reconnect it if we need to make something on the stove, which I am still avoiding due to excessive heat.)

    I am trying to decide if I need a sous vide badly enough to buy one for myself. Jen has completely influencered me into wanting one; apparently it is really good at making various curds and I love a good curd. But it’s expensive enough that it feels like something I should request as a gift. But… this one is also on a big sale for Prime Day ($121 down from $199), so maybe I should just bite the bullet and get one????? Do you have a sous vide? What do you use it for, if not for curds? (I am aware it does MANY things besides curd-making.) (Curd is a very weird word.) 

    Do you need to be influencered into buying a new small appliance? If so, then I HIGHLY recommend this Cuisinart immersion blender. I use mine ALL the time. In fact – and this is super embarrassing to admit – I have TWO of them, and I use both of them weekly, if not daily. (It’s embarrassing to admit because I had one of them for a million years, or so long that I completely forgot it had the little chopper/grinder attachment. Then I bought a new one, which was different only in that it also came with a large mixing/measuring cup.) I use them for smoothies, dressings, dips. This past weekend I made an impromptu whipped feta using the chopper/grinder cup. It’s so easy to use and I love that it takes up less room in the dishwasher than my blender or my food processor. (The one I have is not technically on a Prime Day deal, but it is 25% off.) (Ooooh, this one by Mueller IS on a Prime Day deal – 37% off and only $31.55!) (Do I need a third immersion blender set? No, I do not. Right? Or do I?)

    I just finished two books that used the same murder method! And it wasn’t a super common murder method, like strangling or whatever. It was a fairly specific method. I love it when I experience that kind of synchronicity in books. Like there’s something in the collective consciousness that makes writers reach for similar things at similar times. 

    The first dinner party went off without a hitch. We ended up making balsamic pork in the crockpot, and then having all sorts of goodies alongside it: brown rice, crumbled feta, kalamata olives, caramelized onions, sundried tomatoes, and marinated artichoke hearts. I also made a quinoa salad to go alongside it. Where I went wrong, I think, is in the appetizers. I made hummus and the aforementioned whipped feta, and served both with veggies and pita chips. People seemed to fill up on the appetizers and then didn’t have a whole lot of room left for the main course. Because we had six people over, I doubled the pork recipe. And… we had SO MUCH pork leftover, Internet. So much pork. My husband and I had it for dinner again on Sunday, and then yesterday I paired the pork with a mango salsa to make it different enough for us to enjoy for a third day in a row, plus a small Tupperware container for me to eat for lunch, AND I still had a generous portion leftover that I put in the freezer for another time. We also have so much quinoa salad leftover. How does anyone know how much food to make? I felt SURE that six adults would eat AT LEAST as much food as my husband and I do on our own, but that didn’t seem to be the case???? I don’t think the food was bad, although I guess I can’t rule that out? Well. I have a second chance this weekend, as Dinner Party 2 is coming up. This time, I am making tacos, and guacamole, and maybe salsa. THAT’S IT. (Although I am fretting a bit about what sort of meat I should make. Just ground beef? Or should I also do shredded chicken?)

    The best decision I made for the dinner party was to include a friend for Carla. I figured she would be bored by all the adults, so we arranged for her bestie come over and spend the night. I didn’t have to worry about either of them the whole night. I mean, I fed them. (They did NOT eat balsamic pork.) And my husband (and possibly the other adults as well) watched them in the pool. But they entertained one another and had a wonderful time. Unfortunately, the kids then stayed awake until THREE O’CLOCK AM IN THE MORNING. And felt the need to keep me updated about their awakeness approximately every hour. I have no problem with the kids not sleeping. It’s a sleepover; not-sleeping is expected. But I was exhausted from a day spent cooking and cleaning and entertaining and then I didn’t sleep more than a few interrupted hours, so I ended up being pretty useless both Sunday AND Monday. 

    Is it hot where you are? It’s hot, isn’t it. It seems to be hot everywhere, in the US at least. (And Canada. HI NICOLE. I hope you are ensconced in air conditioning right now!) We had a thunderstorm this morning at about four, and so everything is wet, but it’s also hot already (I am writing this at six) and all our windows are steamed up. “Hot and humid” is my least favorite state of being. I walk around in a constant half-melted state. My hair is impossible and I have been wearing it in a ponytail so much my scalp hurts. My face is a zitty mess. My deodorant is working as hard as it can but cannot stanch the sweat. I am longing for winter. But not really, because I am also enjoying the heck out of having a pool. Carla and I went swimming last night before dinner and I love it so much. 

    Our summer schedule is – finally – so awesome. We have really settled into a rhythm right now, and I love it. I wake up at six, make tea, wander around my garden, make a smoothie, wake up Carla and watch a million cat videos with her. Let’s not speak of the period between waking her up and getting her into the car for camp. While she’s at camp, I exercise and write. I am part of an honest-to-goodness writing club right now, and I’m loving it. I buy groceries and do laundry and make endless phone calls and appointments for our house. I pick up Carla, spend as much time outside as possible, make and eat dinner, watch a show with my husband, go to bed. Repeat. It’s so lovely. One thing I am dreading about the school year is having to shift everything again. Especially now, I am enjoying the quiet hour or so by myself before I wake Carla up… but I’ll have to wake her up an hour earlier during the school year and I don’t know that I have the kind of constitution that enables ME to wake up at five. We’ll see, I guess. I’m trying not to waste any of this glorious summer with WORRYING.

    Back to complaining about the heat, I am ogling all sorts of fans on amazon right now. I really, really want a fan for our gym. I get so sweaty while working out, Internet. It is disgusting. Even just walking on the treadmill, I become a puddle. I often type while walking (I have a treadmill desk attachment that I love) and I leave these horrendous sweaty paw prints on the desk. But I know NOTHING about fans. This one looks good – I like the tower look and it gets good reviews, and it seems like a reasonable price? Maybe this pedestal one would be better? It’s supposedly “space saving,” although I don’t know that it takes up any less space except visual. Do you have a fan that you like? 

    Also in an attempt to beat the heat, I have been buying dresses like crazy. Earlier this summer, I splurged on threeamazing dresses from Boden. I love them ALL. Yet I find myself coveting MORE DRESSES. All the dresses! This one is cute and seems more casual than the Boden ones. Do I need it??? (No. I definitely do not NEED it. Do I want it? Yes. Do I want it enough to buy it? Jury’s still out. Although it is only $15… Hmmm…) My husband also sent me a link to a “freezer dress,” which sounds deeply intriguing. It apparently has some sort of special fabric that cools as you sweat. That sounds kind of amazing?! Ooooh there’s a maxi dress version, too. 

    Another good thing about summer? My hydrangeas! Look how beautiful they are! When they are on the bush, overloaded by the weight of their own blooms, they aren’t quite as lovely. But in a vase on my counter, they are pretty spectacular.

    Okay, that’s all I have time for, Internet. I hope you are staying cool, whatever you’re doing.