Reminder: the giveaway for a copy of Nicole’s debut novel ends this coming Friday. Please enter if you or a loved one need a(nother) copy of her book!
The memory of needing [SOMETHING] is strong. It keeps niggling at my brain – you need to get this, something is missing, make sure you get this.
The memory of talking about [SOMETHING] is strong. All three of us were in the kitchen. My daughter was eating ramen with eggs and edamame. My husband had just returned from the office. I can see myself informing my husband, “I am going to buy [SOMETHING] and reusable chopsticks for Carla.” He asked some follow-up questions about these items (this is how we keep one another’s spending in check; one of us expresses a need or want for something, the other pushes back, and we discuss whether we really need to spend money on said item) and I have a vague recollection that he disagreed slightly with my assessment of need. It wasn’t a strenuous disagreement, by any means, otherwise I would have simply crossed the [SOMETHING] off my mental list.
But what is the [SOMETHING]?!?!
This has been bothering me for two days. Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when it suddenly appeared to me: the [SOMETHING]. Ah yes, I thought, relieved. And then promptly forgot it again.
I have asked my husband and my child. Both recall the conversation. Neither remembers what the [SOMETHING] was.
WHAT WAS IT?!
I suppose that it must not have been super important, if I have forgotten it so easily. (Twice.) But also, it keeps itching at my brain, which makes me feel like it must be moderately important.
Memory works in such strange and funny ways. I have been wracking my brain, trying to figure out the identity of [SOMETHING], and have come across several other things:
New shoes for the treadmill: Yes, I do need these. The heels are wearing through in my current shoes. But that’s not THE [SOMETHING].
Kitchen mat: Yes, the first one I ordered claimed it was washable in the online description, but the tags on the item itself said it was not washable. So I still need a replacement for our well-worn existing mat. But… it’s not the [SOMETHING] I can’t remember.
Hair dryer stand: I mean, I long for one of these every time I bathe the cat and spend twelve hours blow drying him. But this isn’t it either.
I find it fascinating that I can both not remember what the [SOMETHING] IS, and yet be so very clear on what it ISN’T.
It has to be something kitchen-related, doesn’t it? I mean, I mentioned it to my husband while were all the kitchen, so it seems like that was the trigger? Or maybe it was the fact that Carla was eating ramen with a fork (the horror!) and so the desire for reusable chopsticks was fresh in my mind? I have no idea.
What do you think it was????
Okay, so onto something that I DO remember, which is a magical gel that my mother introduced to me.
She has touted the wizardry of this gel before: when my daughter and I visit her in the summer, and inevitably get eaten by mosquitoes, she pulls out the magic gel and applies it to our bites. It contains an anesthetic that soothes the pain and itching, but it also has an antiseptic element. It works so well that I now have some of my own, which I either purchased or stole from my mother.
Just last week, I was visiting my parents and I had a giant zit forming on my chin. One of those awful, painful, enormous, bright red cystic pimples that make you feel like you have a glowing neon ACNE! sign on your face. My mother pulled me into her bathroom, wiped my dermal leviathan with hydrogen peroxide, and dabbed some of the magic gel on it. “This will work in 24 hours,” she vowed.
Sure, mom.
I knew better; this kind of pimple lasts at least a week, and I was on Day 2, the point at which it had just begun to breach the surface of my skin.
The next day, it had shrunk to half its size and the pain was gone. The day after that, it had vanished back into the depths of my cells. HOW?! I have never in my life had a zit cure that worked so fast or so well! Certainly not since I got diagnosed with papulopustular rosacea a couple of years ago, when pretty much any pimple treatment simply made my face double down with a profusion of additional spots.
Anyway. The magic gel costs less than $5 on Amazon, and I’m guessing it sells for a similar amount at your local drugstore, and it is amazing and has at least two more uses than it seems to claim. What else might it treat?!
It is our second snow day of the week. Carla is once again doing Remote Learning, which is giving me unpleasant flashbacks to 2020.
Snow continues to seethe ceaselessly through the grey.
It’s Wednesday and we are somehow nearly halfway through January. Let’s have some bullets, shall we?
Rough Return to Routine: Re-entry post holiday break has been A Challenge. In trying to leave my cozy cocoon, I have a lot of empathy for creatures who swathe themselves in gauze only to be forced, weak-limbed and light-stunned, back into the real world.
Part of the problem, of course, is that we got on a totally awful sleep schedule during the break, and that has been challenging to reverse. I like to think of myself as a morning person, but really, I’m fine staying up late and sleeping late if that’s a workable schedule. As it was for fifteen straight days. I tried, oh I tried, to ease us back into eight-thirty bedtimes and six am wakeups, but it did not stick for anyone. (On my end, I managed to get back to five-thirty wakeups, with a lot of help from the cat, but I have not managed to get to bed before midnight more than once or twice.)
The other part of the problem, in my opinion, is that there’s been no gradual reincorporation into normalcy. It’s just, like, BAM, back into it. It’s got to be even harder for my poor kid, who’s the one enduring school and all her activities; I’m just driving her around, and that’s messing me up completely. The past weekend was PACKED with stuff. Between Friday and today, my kid has had two appointments, a sleepover with her grandparents, five extra-curricular activities, one performance, and a birthday party. That doesn’t even count three days of school. We didn’t get home until after ten Monday night and when Carla had a hard time waking up yesterday morning, even though I let both of sleep in an extra forty-five minutes, I did not blame her one bit.
The cat has NOT been happy with all these shifting schedules, let me tell you. He doesn’t seem to be finding as much interest in his normal suite of toys and playing. His eating schedule is all out of whack. He – who is normally a pretty silent cat – has been wandering around mewing plaintively, and then flopping at my feet, and then either purring when I pet him or biting my hand (usually he just lies there contentedly while I pet him). Is he sick? Is he hurt? Is he bored? Is he confused about where the other two humans have disappeared to? Is he depressed? Or is he just complaining about the lack of a steady, reliable schedule?
What I’m Reading: I did not mean to vague post the other day, when I mentioned the book I was considering DNFing. It was, indeed, Heart the Lover (bookshop.org / amazon). But I soldiered on and as soon as I got to page 20, I hit my stride and then I couldn’t put it down. It felt, in some ways, very similar to The Goldfinch (bookshop.org / amazon) – where bloomed, out of a perfectly readable and engaging story, an epiphany that felt life-changing. Now I have the difficult task of finding a book to follow that one. Any suggestions? I feel like the next one is bound to pale in comparison, so maybe I will just pick up a book I don’t have high hopes for.
I am listening to The Long Night by Christian White (bookshop.org / amazon) (I love the rhythm of the title and author pairing, and the unintentional rhyme) and it’s an excellent fast-paced thriller. I recall reading a few reviews that criticized it for being confusing, and I have reached the point where I understand what all the complaints are about; yesterday, I paused the audiobook and stood in my kitchen, knife poised over a half-sliced cucumber, trying to get everything straight in my head. I think I understand? Well, we’ll see.
Things I’ve Bought Lately: I did a mini refresh of kitchen staples: new pot holders, new trivets, new spatulas, new whisk. It is quite pleasing to retrieve a hot pan from the oven with a fresh pot holder, free of holes and stains and burn marks. I also went a little wild and replaced my microplane… and my new one is so much better I am kicking myself for not replacing it earlier. The only kitchen refreshments I have left to buy are a new kitchen mat and new cutting boards. The cutting boards are throwing me for a loop. I don’t think I want plastic ones, but I definitely want cutting boards I can throw in the dishwasher. Instagram has recently been serving me all sorts of content about titanium cutting boards, but I’m suspicious. Perhaps I want these paper composite boards instead?
In non-kitchen purchases, I bought myself a new foot file.
It works great.
But. It reminds me a little too much of my new microplane. Worry not; I am storing them in separate rooms of the house.
Resolution in Progress: One of my New Year’s resolutions is to appear in more photos this year. At an event earlier this week, I tried to gamely follow through. I forced my husband to take a couple selfies (ussies?) of the two of us. I forced someone’s husband to take a picture of a bunch of the women together. The one of me and my husband resides safely on his phone, where I may one day in several months revisit it with kinder eyes. However, I cannot bring myself to send the group photo to any of the other women because I hate my image so fiercely. I need to. I am going to. The other women all look darling. And I can kind of talk myself into thinking that I look so terrible in large part because of where I am in the group – on the side, right up at the edge of the photo – and also I am holding two bulky jackets and that just doesn’t look cute at all. But I think I need A Plan for appearing in photos in such a way as to encourage additional photo taking. Perhaps I need to study up on photo poses and push past my fear of annoying people to request specific angles and multiple options from whichever poor soul winds up being my photographer of the moment.
Things I’ve Done in 2026 That I Haven’t Done Before: I got bangs! This is a very recent development, so it’s possible that the excitement will fade. But right now, I love them. It was extremely gratifying to pick up Carla from school and have her immediately crow, “You got bangs! They are so cute!” and then fervently wish that she could have bangs. Also extremely gratifying was my husband’s reaction, which was smiling and intense scrutiny for a few minutes until he said, “The bangs look really good!” The last time I had bangs was in… fourth grade? Fifth? I am not counting the over-hairsprayed swoop of side bangs I wore all through middle school.
Special Projects: My dad and I installed a new light fixture in the cat’s litter box room. It took us three separate tries (Day 1: not enough wire connectors; no switch. Day 2: drill didn’t work. Day 3: finished!) but we installed it together and I did a good bit of the work. I’m not saying that I could install a light fixture on my own, but… maybe I could? I did get pretty good at wiring a switch. Things I will need if I ever want to do this by myself: electrician’s pliers, wire stripper/crimping tool, and a voltage tester.
Things I’m Eating Lately: Family friends had us over for dinner recently, and they served us this cucumber salad alongside roasted salmon, and it was so good I immediately bought a cucumber so I could make it myself. My friend omitted the toasted sesame seeds, so I did as well. I’m otherwise in kind of a food rut these days, so we’re doing a lot of Ham Sandwich for dinner around here. Ham Sandwich with a side of cucumber salad.
The Dress Hunt Persists: I am still seeking dresses for two upcoming fancy events. My husband (who was a little leery of me ordering a bunch of dresses online and returning the ones that didn’t work) and I went to An Actual Mall the other day, so I could try on dresses in department stores. That was… awful. The selection was awful, the sizing was awful. I hate trying things on in department stores. Everything about it was demoralizing.
So I finally ordered some dresses, which was my original plan all along. Two have already arrived and they fit and they are fine. The magenta one is better; I like the sleeves and the back is cute and the hem falls at a nicer place on my leg. But the silver and black one is also fine, if a tad bit too long. It should be okay if I can persuade my feet to endure heels for a night. Two others are on the way: this one, which I shared with you back in December, and this one, which I think looks fun and pretty. We’ll see, but at least I have two acceptable options, which is a huge relief.
Skin Sitch: My skin situation seems to have calmed down. My guess is that it was entirely hormonal. I have normal monthly fluctuations in my skin, but once in a while, everything seems to be so much worse than usual. Fortunately, it’s returned to normal.
Speaking of skin, I am loving my current skincare regimen, which consists of a twice-daily peptide serum, a twice-daily application of moisturizer, plus hydrating face sunscreen serum each morning, and a retinol / hyaluronic acid serum at night. (Why is everything a serum all of a sudden?) My skin feels SO SOFT when I wash my face in the mornings, and I have had two people comment on my skin in recent months. The compliments both came via salespeople in department store perfume counters, and were likely sales motivators rather than the truth, but, wow, did those women know exactly how to make me preen. (I did not buy anything from either of them; that’ll teach you to be nice, salespeople.)
My Cat, Still Catting: My cat remains a daily delight.
Okay that seems to be a good round-up of what’s going on around here. What’s going on with you?
Welcome to another blog post where I jabber on about something completely inconsequential while trying desperately to pretend Everything Is Okay.
(I clicked on an article this morning about how scientists have detected a continent-destroying “heartbeat” beneath Ethiopia because things really do feel increasingly apocalyptic and I like to know all the ways the universe is trying to purge itself of humanity. TL;DR: this new threat shouldn’t emerge for another million or so years.)
Drastic tone shift!
It’s summer! And super hot! I haven’t worn pants or styled my hair in days! Every time I step outside my skin turns into a puddle!
Here’s how I am surviving:
Iced Chai: Thanks to Trader Joe’s, I have traded in my morning cuppa Earl Grey for a tall glass of iced chai. I pour in about a quarter cup of the spiced chai black tea concentrate, add enough water to fill the glass half way, add ice, then fill the rest of the way with skim milk. I also add a little topper of half-and-half, as a treat.
Pool Time: I realize that we are super lucky to have our own pool, but I think I would be dragging myself and my child to any pool possible. It’s not like I enjoy wearing a swimming suit, or even being in the water. But it feels less gross to be a sweaty mess at the pool than anywhere else, and I like feeling like it’s acceptable to lie around in nearly no clothing, and I like the ability to pop into the water when I feel like I’m about to sublimate. We’ve pulled out the pool toys (and I got an electric air pump so no one has to hyperventilate whilst filling up a flamingo or anything; the air pump is magical), we’ve set up the outdoor furniture, we’ve been really making use of the pool and I am very grateful. By the way, these are my favorite pool floaties because your body remains partially submerged while you drift around in the currents made by a cannonballing child.
Pants Free Living: I am living in these jersey dresses from Boden, and occasionally this similar dress I got last summer from Amazon. They all feel like I’m wearing pajamas AND they have pockets. I am also a huge fan of these shorts and tank top from Quince. Okay, while I was searching for the link to the Boden dress, I came across this one and bought it immediately. (If you want 20% off your Boden order, you can use this link.)
Supportive Sandals: I ordered a third pair of these orthotic flip flops because I love them so much. I wear one pair inside the house to stave off plantar fasciitis and now I have a pair of black ones and a pair of navy ones to wear anytime I leave the house. They are so comfortable.
The Perfect Sunscreen: Now that we have sunshine I am even more diligent about slathering my face with sunscreen every time I pop outside. I am in love with this Neutrogena sunscreen serum and have been using it for a few years now. It’s hydrating, it’s super lightweight, it absorbs completely (rather than sitting on my skin like some sunscreen), and it has some component that gives my skin this lovely glowy sheen, which is so different from most sunscreens, which leave me with a chalky pallor. It’s also compatible with my super-sensitive prone-to-breakouts face and does not bother my skin in the least. It’s become one of my favorite skincare products and the instant I get close to running out I order a backup.
Wet Hair, Don’t Care: I am surviving summer with cold showers and without my hair dryer. Shampoo, leave-in conditioner (I’m currently using this one), throw the whole mane up in a claw clip. Does it look cute? Not really, no. Do I care? Not enough to endure hair drying.
Cool Sleeping: I persist in being a terrible sleeper; last night, I went to bed at ten, then proceeded to wake up at 12:20, 1:30, and 3:00 and then couldn’t get back to sleep until after 4:00. I feel like I am doing All The Things (except taking a sleep aid, I guess) and I am so constantly tired I want to cry. My husband has tried everything in his power to help me sleep better, and one of those things was buying this ridiculously expensive cooling comforter. It is worth every penny. Now, I am never too hot because of the comforter (only because of my internal wackjob thermometer). Every time I slip beneath the sheets (which are also stupid expensive; we’ve got a spendy cooling duvet cover too) I feel cool and comfortable no matter how hot it is outside.
Bug Shield: The worst thing about being outside is mosquitos, and our mosquito repellent device continues to do an amazing job of keeping the nasty critters away.
Indoor Fun: We’ve been enjoying the outdoors, but when it’s just too hot Carla and I have been retreating to the cool of the house to play board games. Since it’s just the two of us – or three when my husband is home – we stick with games that are fun with two players, like SkipBo or Clue or Exploding Kittens. I’ve heard good things about Monopoly Deal so I may have to add that to our collection.
What are your summer must-haves?
Lenny has discovered the joy of Being on the Counter and takes any opportunity to find out what’s happening up there.
