Sometimes I am a lazy bitch take shortcuts. Some of those shortcuts drive my husband nuts.
Refusing to use a laundry bin. I really have no idea why I am the way that I am. Is using a bin simpler, and more sanitary? Indeed it is. Do we have laundry bins, in our home, available for my use? Why, yes, yes we do. And still, I persist in loading my arms up with as much laundry as I possibly can hold and lugging the pile all the way across the house, dripping socks and tripping over the cat as I go.
Washing the sheets without their little holder. My husband, weary of our bed linens turning into a wet-in-the-middle sheet burrito each time we washed them, bought a handy little tool to keep the sheets and comforter from eating each other. They work GREAT. But I find it less convenient to attach them to the sheets than to simply deal with the sheet burrito. This may be the thing that tips my husband over the edge, hard to say.
Only doing half the towel replacement job. We have hand towels under our kitchen sink. Often, when I think to toss them in the laundry, I am doing fifteen other things and I forget, for a while, to replace them with new towels. The most frequent catalyst for remembering? My husband washes his hands and yelps, “There’s no towel!”
Letting damp dishes air dry. Our dishwasher has a drying function, but still, sometimes the clean dishes have a little moisture on them. Mug bottoms, of course. How else do you know that the dishes are done if there isn’t a little crescent of water in the bottom of your mug? (This is how! My husband isn’t the only one with handy little tools.) The other primary culprit is the plastic lids of our food storage containers, but sometimes a pot or a strainer or a plastic cup will have a little beading of water. My husband removes each of these from the dishwasher separately, dries them on the dish towel that I have of course completely remembered to replace, and only once they are completely dry does he put them away. Not me. I give a little shake then toss ‘em in whatever drawer or cupboard they belong. Literally nothing bad has ever happened from taking this little shortcut.
Not removing the lint after each load. Oh, good, we’re back in the laundry room. Why do I have so many laundry-related shortcuts? I DON’T IRON, EITHER. Okay, before you leap to the comments to warn me about dryer fires – my nightmare, seriously – I will assure you that I always, always clean the lint trap before I dry a load of laundry. I just do it before I dry things, rather than after. Sure, this sometimes mean my husband or child are cleaning out MY lint (although I do their laundry, too), but since I do the majority of the laundry in our household, I’m okay with that.
These things will live here all weekend long. Yes, we still have the Zevo even though it did NOTHING.
Turnabout, as they say, is fair play. Members of my family are not immune to laziness cutting corners. Here are a few of the things they do that drive me nuts.
Leaving dishes “to soak.” Listen. LISTEN. I get it. Sometimes a dish benefits from a good soak in soapy water. (Although Dawn Powerwash cuts the soak time to five minutes, even for the most stuck-on grease and grime! I would accept any and all sponsorships, I love you, Dawn Powerwash!) But that dish should not be there the next day. Soaking returns diminish after about thirty minutes. Once in a great while, an overnight soak does seem to do the trick for a particularly obnoxious dish. But that is RARE and does not apply to, say, a bowl of oatmeal or a plate of melted marshmallow crust.
Walking around a thing as though it were invisible. Things assemble, detritus collects. That’s just a part of being a modern human, I suppose. But things should not live forever in a location that should be temporary. A sweatshirt’s home is not on a kitchen barstool. A pair of discarded socks does not make pleasing decor for the couch. The laundry room counter is not the perfect spot for an empty takeout cup to take up residence. I am not immune to letting something sit for a good long while. I’ve had a giant Hefty bag full of Clothes to Donate on the floor of my office for weeks now because I want to take it to the place where I volunteer, but I haven’t volunteered there in a while and I feel guilty and I haven’t been able to come up with a couple of hours to go volunteer and also the place is realllllly out of the way so it’s not simple to just drop it off, so I just yesterday tucked the bag behind my office door so I don’t have to see its accusatory mug anymore. But when the effort required to deal with a thing is, like, throwing it in the trash or moving it into one’s bedroom? JUST DEAL WITH THE THING.
Waiting to clean one’s beverage vessel. We all have our stainless steel coffee/tea mugs and our reusable water bottles and we use them. But when they need to be cleaned, they somehow end up congregating on my kitchen counters for days until the cleaning can be ignored no longer. Stanley carafes are not my idea of an appropriate knickknack.
Okay, your turn. Which of these shortcuts do you find most egregious? Also: I know you have shortcuts; time to spill.
It is Tuesday and Day Three of NaBloPoMo. I am already feeling Wildly Overwhelmed. It’s a GOOD overwhelm: I am so excited! So many new posts! So many thoughtful comments! And yet, I am feeling a bit like the toddler being attacked by puppies. The joy! The delight! The inability to do anything but lie there helplessly!
What is your strategy for reading and commenting on blog posts? I have no strategy and am therefore already behind.
Perhaps if I had planned my posts, and did not have to write those in the moment, I would have more time to read/comment and be feeling better about the whole thing. (If you have post suggestions for me, please feel free to share them via my Ask Me Anything form.)
Speaking of feeling overwhelmed, I am also feeling overwhelmed by:
…election uncertainty.
I voted. That’s all I can do. While I have no idea what’s going to happen – especially in my state, which feels like it could easily go either way – I am very much looking forward to the end of all the spam texts. There are so many and they are SO RIDICULOUS.
…Christmas anticipation.
How’s your Christmas planning going? Mine, so far, encompasses some vague thoughts about potential gift ideas. Like, super vague. I may share some of them in post form, because that helps me organize my thoughts. We’ll see if I can get my act together.
…exhaustion.
My cat is not dealing well with The Time Change. He is surly and accusatory and runs away from me when I approach him. He came into my room at THREE AY EM to scratch the carpet, which is one of his tried-and-true It’s Time to Wake Up alarm settings. Even if the time hadn’t changed, that’s too early.
My husband and I are not dealing well with The Time Change. I thought we would feel more rested! I thought we’d pop out of bed an hour early! But no. We are both hitting snooze and grumbling at the cat, whose secondary alarm setting is to climb onto various surfaces and knock things onto the floor. Maybe if the cat would chill out, we’d be able to get some sleep?
…fluff.
Speaking of the cat: Lenny is experiencing his fall shed. We got a very brief reprieve from his spring shed, a reprieve of about a month. It was a wonderful month. But now we’re back to tumbleweeds of fur littering our floors. My dutiful robot vacuum Rocky is on the job, although sometimes the fur is too voluminous for him to handle and he has to reroute himself around it. I’ve also purchased a new handheld vacuum for the stairs and furniture. So far, I like it a lot. Our regular vacuum does a great job of cleaning the carpeted areas of our home and I’m contemplating getting a second one, to minimize the amount of lugging it up and down the stairs I do. While I would be 100% happy just getting the exact same vacuum, I kind of have a wandering eye. If you have pets, what kind of vacuum do you use to stem the fluff?
Lenny loves to lie directly in Rocky’s path, so that Rocky has to go around him.
…routine shakeup.
My child has begun a new set of activities, but they are so new that we haven’t established any sort of a routine. Sometimes it feels to me as though the adults in charge of said activities take the same approach to planning that I have taken toward NaBloPoMo. I do not care for that.
…fall beauty.
We have had the most glorious, luxuriously long fall. The first photo I have of fall leaves is from October 2. And now, more than a month later, our trees are still gorgeous. Sure, some of them have lost their leaves (do you think they feel jealous of their still-frocked friends? or are they relieved to be able to rest?), but many many are still decked out in the most fanciful array of crimson and gold. I cannot get enough and I have been taking mental pictures and actual photos as often as I can. The photos never quite do justice to the beauty of my surroundings, though.
I know you are buzzing with the anxiety of knowing whether I completed my to-do list on Friday. Let me put you (temporarily) out of your misery: No, I did not.
But! I did accomplish parts of it.
I made the phone call and hopefully our late fee/credit card charge have been eliminated and we have not overpaid for a month of this utility service. Time will tell. (Just a note: it took me a good ten minutes to even find the phone number I needed to call; it is not online anywhere, I don’t think, and I had to search through bills in my email. Then I got an automated message that the wait time exceeded twenty minutes, so they could call me back, and I chose that option. Only to look perplexedly at my phone 45 minutes later to find that I HAD missed a call, but my phone chose to silence it as it had determined the call was probably spam. I did get through to a live human on my next call though, so all is well that ends well.)
While I posted photos of my supposedly daily walks, I did not go for a walk Friday or do any sort of exercise. (Wait a second. We did wander around a farmer’s market for awhile. And then Carla and I did go swimming Friday – the last swim of the season – and I did twelve laps of various poorly executed strokes. My watch said I burned 30 calories LOL.) Sigh. I did go for two delightful walks on Saturday though – a walk with a friend in the beautiful autumn woods, and then a flashlit walk with Carla and the puppy she was dog-sitting. Sunday, again no walk at all – WHY is it so challenging to get outside or on the treadmill for TEN MEASLY MINUTES? – but at least I did a strength training workout. Also, for the record, I am walking on the treadmill as I type this post.
Did I find a new eye doctor? No I did not. My eye doctor efforts included a) whining about eye doctors to my friend during our Saturday walk and b) whining about eye doctors to my parents on Sunday. My husband, who was on hand for the second bout of whining, did some research into potential eye doctors. He discovered that perhaps I have been unable to get in to see MY eye doctor because he may no longer work for our hospital system and discovered that one of the only eye doctors accepting new patients is an eye doctor I saw a dozen years ago and decided against seeing again.
I folded the clean laundry in the photo I posted Friday, plus a surprise load of clean laundry I’d left and completely forgotten about in the dryer, plus a load of darks. And I did manage to WASH three additional loads of laundry – four, if you count the reds that are in the washing machine as I type. One of those loads is now occupying the clean laundry basket so recently emptied; another is on my bed as fresh, clean bed linens; a third is in the dryer. There is still a load of mainly-black clothing on the floor of my bathroom but it will at least migrate to the washer today.
Finally, an unadulterated success: I DID make dinner Friday. I found a new recipe for barbecue pork, made it, and my husband liked it much better than he likes our old recipe. I like it fine, although it’s a little too vinegary. But that’s nothing a big slosh of barbecue sauce and sriracha won’t fix. Saturday I did not make dinner; I went out to lunch with my friend after our walk and it was amazing and there’s no way anything could top it, so my husband ate leftovers for dinner and I finished off the last of the previous weekend’s chili (do not tell your husband, Engie; although I did survive, so the gamble paid off). My parents made dinner Sunday and I’m really enjoying this not-making-dinner kick so let’s see how it goes.
Anyway, since so much of my weekend has been occupied by laundry, I am in the mood to talk about laundry. (This is the part where your misery amps back up.)
I am 99% sure that others in our blogging community have discussed this topic before, but blog topics, like laundry, are not meant to be addressed once and then never again. As I was dutifully whining and complaining about doing laundry, I was noticing some of the things I do and wondering how YOU do them in your house.
Collecting the Dirty Laundry:
We have three laundry hampers in our house. Carla has one in her closet, my husband and I have one in our closet for white clothing, and another one in our bathroom (a mere five feet from the closet hamper; it makes sense, I promise) for colors. When it’s time for laundry doing, which I probably do once a week unless I have a burst of There Is a Better Way to Do This Task, I sort the laundry into piles on my bathroom floor. Then I enlist Carla to sort her own clothing and add her piles to my piles.
Sorting:
The piles I sort laundry into are roughly: whites, white towels, towels (and swimsuits), darks, lights, blacks and reds, delicates, rags. Carla and my husband sometimes struggle with what belongs in the darks pile vs the lights pile, which indicates that I may be overly rigid in my definitions. Especially because it 100% doesn’t matter in any way; I think I could probably get away with washing even the reds and the whites together and they would be fine. Really the only reason I divide things into piles at all is because they have to be divided somehow – there is too much laundry to fit into one wash cycle – and it would offend my aesthetic sensibilities if they were all jumbled together helter-skelter.
The lights pile includes things like pale blues, light greys, light greens, yellows, khakis, light wash denim. The darks pile includes dark wash denim, navy, dark blues/greys/greens. The color my family wears by far the most often – and by “my family” I mainly mean me, but Carla does contribute a lot of pinks – is black, closely followed by things in the red family, which includes purple, burgundy, and orange. I wear black leggings nearly every day and a lot of my sleepwear (different leggings) is black as well. If, as I did this laundry cycle, I wait so long that we have enormous quantities of black and red clothing, I will separate them into two piles. Wow, this is boring, and yet I persist.
Getting the Piles into and out of the Laundry Room:
Usually I wait to sort laundry into piles until I have a good wave of laundry energy. But sometimes I will sort and then allow the piles to remain in our bathroom as some sort of avant-garde commentary on consumerism and laziness. I take each pile into the laundry room separately, loading the entire pile precariously into my arms. Do we have a (separate, dirty-clothes-only) laundry basket for just this purpose? Yes. Are the laundry hampers themselves on wheels? Yes, they are. Do I persist in hugging a giant pile of smelly laundry to my chest all the way to the washer, dripping socks and underwear whilst in danger of tripping over dangling sweater arms? Yes, yes I do. I am better about using the (clean clothing only) laundry basket to transport clean things from the laundry room to the folding space. But there is NO WAY to easily get the clean clothes into the laundry basket. Our dryer is stacked on top of our washer and I inevitably drop socks or underpants on the floor. And the laundry room is also our mud room, so this is probably not great, Bob, but I tend to look the other way.
Responsibility:
Probably 90% of the time, I’m the one doing the laundry. I sort it, get it into the washer, less frequently get it into the dryer, then haul it into my bedroom for “folding.” I say “folding” because I only fold some of the clothing. I do not fold my or Carla’s underclothes, because we both prefer a jumble of drawers in our drawers. (I do fold my sports bras though.) To recap a topic I have already covered quite thoroughly, I bundle my socks together, and gently fold over the very tops of my husband’s dress socks, and stack his athletic socks in a neatish pile. I throw Carla’s socks in a pile because she enjoys mismatched socks, although this strategy is not working as well anymore as it should; she has a whole drawer full of socks and still tells me nearly daily that she can’t find any socks; something must be done to resolve this. I fold everyone’s pants and pajama pants, my husband’s underwear, and all my leggings and workout clothing and pajamas.
I do not fold any of my husband’s shirts, as he prefers to do that himself. (Thank goodness, as I am TERRIBLE at folding. NOTHING is uniform.) I do not fold any of Carla’s shirts, as we have discovered that it works better for her to hang all her shirts in her closet rather than to stuff them into her dresser where they will never be seen again. Instead of folding, I lay everything out neatly – my husband’s stuff on his side of the bed, mine on my side (although I usually put my things away as I go), and Carla’s on the bench at the foot of our bed. My husband is then responsible for folding his shirts/putting his clothing away. Carla is ostensibly responsible for putting her clothing away, but it is more often than not sitting on the bench in my bedroom for weeks at a time.
Things like rags, dish towels, and bath mats have somehow become my sole responsibility. I do not know if they would ever make it into the wash if I didn’t wash them. Do my family members know they require washing? Hmm. Perhaps I need to follow up on this one.
My husband takes sole responsibility for washing his dress shirts. They require additional attention, apparently, so I just stay out of it. Luckily, he owns more dress shirts than a J. Crew store, so he only washes them rarely.
Historical Precedents:
I don’t know why we fold laundry on our bed. Maybe because it is technically closest to the laundry room? Or maybe because it makes it very simple for me to put my things away immediately? At our old house, laundry folding took place on the guest room bed. That made it all too easy to ignore the laundry for eons, so I think I prefer this setup, where we have to deal with it before we go to bed.
When I was growing up, I have no recollection of where the laundry was folded. Perhaps in the laundry room, and then stacked on the ironing board? Perhaps on my parents’ bed? My mom did a load of ironing every weekend, and that took place in the laundry room or in the living room. I do not iron, so that’s not really a thing in our house. The only ironing board we own is a tiny dorm-size one that must have belonged to my husband in college.
Sometimes I will fold rags or towels in the living room in front of the TV, or dump rags in a pile on the ottoman for Carla to fold while she watches TV.
Carla knows how to do laundry, and sometimes helps. I did my own laundry from the time I was in middle school, and in fact used to iron my own jeans. Perhaps this is why I have such an aversion to ironing as an adult. Not that anyone was forcing me or even recommending that I iron my own jeans as a middle schooler, mind you.
My husband also knows how to do laundry, and does it better and more efficiently – thank you to my mother-in-law – and we used to do laundry together in our college laundry room, when it was mildly scandalous to launder our underthings in the same room, a time I look on fondly. By “better” I mean that he is more thoughtful about things like temperature and heat settings. I pretty much wash everything in cold and dry it all on regular, but he’ll wash towels in hot and dry them on the towel setting, things like that. (I wash rags in the sanitizing cycle, and throw both Oxy and vinegar in with the regular laundry soap.)
Laundry Approaches:
My husband and I have some very different approaches to laundry. One is towels. I like to run towels separately from clothing, because I feel like they take longer to dry and also they displace more fuzz than normal clothes and also because they are towels and clothing is clothing. My husband is fine washing his white undershirts and socks with his white towels. I say, to each his own.
He is also a bit more strict about volume. I figure, if my washer claims it can handle a king size comforter, then I can usually get all of our black and red clothing to fit in one load. I do have limits. But he is much more wary of overcrowding.
The other major differentiation between us is something I have written about all-capsily before; in this house, we do not have a towel for any purpose in the laundry room, even though our current washing machine is also a front loader.
Shifting Values:
My position on bleach has changed over the years. When I was a kid, we had well water instead of city water, so we didn’t really own any white clothing. But any white clothing we did have required bleach to maintain its purity. For years after I moved out of my childhood home, I continued to bleach our white clothing. But in the past six? ten? years or so, I have moved away from bleach. I make liberal use of Oxy Clean, especially with our white bedding and my husband’s white clothing and towels, and I haven’t noticed any degradation in color.
We also used to use liquid fabric softener, but the washer in my current house does not drain the liquid fabric softener properly, so we have moved to dryer sheets. I’ve tried dryer balls exclusively, but those don’t work as well as the sheets. I do forget to add sheets a good amount of the time. Shhhh – don’t tell my husband.
Laundry Problems:
By far my biggest laundry problem is forgetting to move things from the washer to the dryer, and then needed to re-run them with vinegar and Oxy to get rid of the inevitable mildew smell. That has been a problem ever since I moved into my own house and out of a dorm room/apartment with a shared laundry space. But. Now there is another laundry problem. One that also necessitates re-washing entire loads of laundry.
Why yes. That IS dog food. Carla apparently stores dog food in her pockets and then forgets to empty her pockets before she puts her clothes in the laundry. And then I forget to check her pockets before I run the laundry. The dog food gets all mushy and coats the entire load of laundry in Eau de Dog Food, so there is no choice but to run it again with a stiff dose of Oxy and vinegar.
For those who observe Yom Kippur, I hope the holiday has been meaningful for you. For those who observe Canadian Thanksgiving, I hope the day is full of good food and empty of drama.
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