skin drama

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A Mystery, a Magic Gel, and More Snow

Reminder: the giveaway for a copy of Nicole’s debut novel ends this coming Friday. Please enter if you or a loved one need a(nother) copy of her book!

The memory of needing [SOMETHING] is strong. It keeps niggling at my brain – you need to get this, something is missing, make sure you get this.

The memory of talking about [SOMETHING] is strong. All three of us were in the kitchen. My daughter was eating ramen with eggs and edamame. My husband had just returned from the office. I can see myself informing my husband, “I am going to buy [SOMETHING] and reusable chopsticks for Carla.” He asked some follow-up questions about these items (this is how we keep one another’s spending in check; one of us expresses a need or want for something, the other pushes back, and we discuss whether we really need to spend money on said item) and I have a vague recollection that he disagreed slightly with my assessment of need. It wasn’t a strenuous disagreement, by any means, otherwise I would have simply crossed the [SOMETHING] off my mental list.

But what is the [SOMETHING]?!?!

This has been bothering me for two days. Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when it suddenly appeared to me: the [SOMETHING]. Ah yes, I thought, relieved. And then promptly forgot it again.

I have asked my husband and my child. Both recall the conversation. Neither remembers what the [SOMETHING] was.

WHAT WAS IT?!

I suppose that it must not have been super important, if I have forgotten it so easily. (Twice.) But also, it keeps itching at my brain, which makes me feel like it must be moderately important.

Memory works in such strange and funny ways. I have been wracking my brain, trying to figure out the identity of [SOMETHING], and have come across several other things:

  • New shoes for the treadmill: Yes, I do need these. The heels are wearing through in my current shoes. But that’s not THE [SOMETHING].
  • Kitchen mat: Yes, the first one I ordered claimed it was washable in the online description, but the tags on the item itself said it was not washable. So I still need a replacement for our well-worn existing mat. But… it’s not the [SOMETHING] I can’t remember.
  • Hair dryer stand: I mean, I long for one of these every time I bathe the cat and spend twelve hours blow drying him. But this isn’t it either.

I find it fascinating that I can both not remember what the [SOMETHING] IS, and yet be so very clear on what it ISN’T.

It has to be something kitchen-related, doesn’t it? I mean, I mentioned it to my husband while were all the kitchen, so it seems like that was the trigger? Or maybe it was the fact that Carla was eating ramen with a fork (the horror!) and so the desire for reusable chopsticks was fresh in my mind? I have no idea.

What do you think it was????

Okay, so onto something that I DO remember, which is a magical gel that my mother introduced to me.

She has touted the wizardry of this gel before: when my daughter and I visit her in the summer, and inevitably get eaten by mosquitoes, she pulls out the magic gel and applies it to our bites. It contains an anesthetic that soothes the pain and itching, but it also has an antiseptic element. It works so well that I now have some of my own, which I either purchased or stole from my mother.

Just last week, I was visiting my parents and I had a giant zit forming on my chin. One of those awful, painful, enormous, bright red cystic pimples that make you feel like you have a glowing neon ACNE! sign on your face. My mother pulled me into her bathroom, wiped my dermal leviathan with hydrogen peroxide, and dabbed some of the magic gel on it. “This will work in 24 hours,” she vowed.

Sure, mom.

I knew better; this kind of pimple lasts at least a week, and I was on Day 2, the point at which it had just begun to breach the surface of my skin.

The next day, it had shrunk to half its size and the pain was gone. The day after that, it had vanished back into the depths of my cells. HOW?! I have never in my life had a zit cure that worked so fast or so well! Certainly not since I got diagnosed with papulopustular rosacea a couple of years ago, when pretty much any pimple treatment simply made my face double down with a profusion of additional spots.

Anyway. The magic gel costs less than $5 on Amazon, and I’m guessing it sells for a similar amount at your local drugstore, and it is amazing and has at least two more uses than it seems to claim. What else might it treat?!

It is our second snow day of the week. Carla is once again doing Remote Learning, which is giving me unpleasant flashbacks to 2020.

Snow continues to seethe ceaselessly through the grey.

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Wednesday Randomosity: Assorted Tidbits and Updates Edition

It’s Wednesday and we are somehow nearly halfway through January. Let’s have some bullets, shall we?

Rough Return to Routine: Re-entry post holiday break has been A Challenge. In trying to leave my cozy cocoon, I have a lot of empathy for creatures who swathe themselves in gauze only to be forced, weak-limbed and light-stunned, back into the real world.

Part of the problem, of course, is that we got on a totally awful sleep schedule during the break, and that has been challenging to reverse. I like to think of myself as a morning person, but really, I’m fine staying up late and sleeping late if that’s a workable schedule. As it was for fifteen straight days. I tried, oh I tried, to ease us back into eight-thirty bedtimes and six am wakeups, but it did not stick for anyone. (On my end, I managed to get back to five-thirty wakeups, with a lot of help from the cat, but I have not managed to get to bed before midnight more than once or twice.)

The other part of the problem, in my opinion, is that there’s been no gradual reincorporation into normalcy. It’s just, like, BAM, back into it. It’s got to be even harder for my poor kid, who’s the one enduring school and all her activities; I’m just driving her around, and that’s messing me up completely. The past weekend was PACKED with stuff. Between Friday and today, my kid has had two appointments, a sleepover with her grandparents, five extra-curricular activities, one performance, and a birthday party. That doesn’t even count three days of school. We didn’t get home until after ten Monday night and when Carla had a hard time waking up yesterday morning, even though I let both of sleep in an extra forty-five minutes, I did not blame her one bit.

The cat has NOT been happy with all these shifting schedules, let me tell you. He doesn’t seem to be finding as much interest in his normal suite of toys and playing. His eating schedule is all out of whack. He – who is normally a pretty silent cat – has been wandering around mewing plaintively, and then flopping at my feet, and then either purring when I pet him or biting my hand (usually he just lies there contentedly while I pet him). Is he sick? Is he hurt? Is he bored? Is he confused about where the other two humans have disappeared to? Is he depressed? Or is he just complaining about the lack of a steady, reliable schedule?

What I’m Reading: I did not mean to vague post the other day, when I mentioned the book I was considering DNFing. It was, indeed, Heart the Lover (bookshop.org / amazon). But I soldiered on and as soon as I got to page 20, I hit my stride and then I couldn’t put it down. It felt, in some ways, very similar to The Goldfinch (bookshop.org / amazon) – where bloomed, out of a perfectly readable and engaging story, an epiphany that felt life-changing. Now I have the difficult task of finding a book to follow that one. Any suggestions? I feel like the next one is bound to pale in comparison, so maybe I will just pick up a book I don’t have high hopes for.

I am listening to The Long Night by Christian White (bookshop.org / amazon) (I love the rhythm of the title and author pairing, and the unintentional rhyme) and it’s an excellent fast-paced thriller. I recall reading a few reviews that criticized it for being confusing, and I have reached the point where I understand what all the complaints are about; yesterday, I paused the audiobook and stood in my kitchen, knife poised over a half-sliced cucumber, trying to get everything straight in my head. I think I understand? Well, we’ll see.

Things I’ve Bought Lately: I did a mini refresh of kitchen staples: new pot holders, new trivets, new spatulas, new whisk. It is quite pleasing to retrieve a hot pan from the oven with a fresh pot holder, free of holes and stains and burn marks. I also went a little wild and replaced my microplane… and my new one is so much better I am kicking myself for not replacing it earlier. The only kitchen refreshments I have left to buy are a new kitchen mat and new cutting boards. The cutting boards are throwing me for a loop. I don’t think I want plastic ones, but I definitely want cutting boards I can throw in the dishwasher. Instagram has recently been serving me all sorts of content about titanium cutting boards, but I’m suspicious. Perhaps I want these paper composite boards instead?

In non-kitchen purchases, I bought myself a new foot file.

It works great.

But. It reminds me a little too much of my new microplane. Worry not; I am storing them in separate rooms of the house.

Resolution in Progress: One of my New Year’s resolutions is to appear in more photos this year. At an event earlier this week, I tried to gamely follow through. I forced my husband to take a couple selfies (ussies?) of the two of us. I forced someone’s husband to take a picture of a bunch of the women together. The one of me and my husband resides safely on his phone, where I may one day in several months revisit it with kinder eyes. However, I cannot bring myself to send the group photo to any of the other women because I hate my image so fiercely. I need to. I am going to. The other women all look darling. And I can kind of talk myself into thinking that I look so terrible in large part because of where I am in the group – on the side, right up at the edge of the photo – and also I am holding two bulky jackets and that just doesn’t look cute at all. But I think I need A Plan for appearing in photos in such a way as to encourage additional photo taking. Perhaps I need to study up on photo poses and push past my fear of annoying people to request specific angles and multiple options from whichever poor soul winds up being my photographer of the moment.

Things I’ve Done in 2026 That I Haven’t Done Before: I got bangs! This is a very recent development, so it’s possible that the excitement will fade. But right now, I love them. It was extremely gratifying to pick up Carla from school and have her immediately crow, “You got bangs! They are so cute!” and then fervently wish that she could have bangs. Also extremely gratifying was my husband’s reaction, which was smiling and intense scrutiny for a few minutes until he said, “The bangs look really good!” The last time I had bangs was in… fourth grade? Fifth? I am not counting the over-hairsprayed swoop of side bangs I wore all through middle school.

Special Projects: My dad and I installed a new light fixture in the cat’s litter box room. It took us three separate tries (Day 1: not enough wire connectors; no switch. Day 2: drill didn’t work. Day 3: finished!) but we installed it together and I did a good bit of the work. I’m not saying that I could install a light fixture on my own, but… maybe I could? I did get pretty good at wiring a switch. Things I will need if I ever want to do this by myself: electrician’s pliers, wire stripper/crimping tool, and a voltage tester.

Things I’m Eating Lately: Family friends had us over for dinner recently, and they served us this cucumber salad alongside roasted salmon, and it was so good I immediately bought a cucumber so I could make it myself. My friend omitted the toasted sesame seeds, so I did as well. I’m otherwise in kind of a food rut these days, so we’re doing a lot of Ham Sandwich for dinner around here. Ham Sandwich with a side of cucumber salad.

The Dress Hunt Persists: I am still seeking dresses for two upcoming fancy events. My husband (who was a little leery of me ordering a bunch of dresses online and returning the ones that didn’t work) and I went to An Actual Mall the other day, so I could try on dresses in department stores. That was… awful. The selection was awful, the sizing was awful. I hate trying things on in department stores. Everything about it was demoralizing.

So I finally ordered some dresses, which was my original plan all along. Two have already arrived and they fit and they are fine. The magenta one is better; I like the sleeves and the back is cute and the hem falls at a nicer place on my leg. But the silver and black one is also fine, if a tad bit too long. It should be okay if I can persuade my feet to endure heels for a night. Two others are on the way: this one, which I shared with you back in December, and this one, which I think looks fun and pretty. We’ll see, but at least I have two acceptable options, which is a huge relief.

Skin Sitch: My skin situation seems to have calmed down. My guess is that it was entirely hormonal. I have normal monthly fluctuations in my skin, but once in a while, everything seems to be so much worse than usual. Fortunately, it’s returned to normal.

Speaking of skin, I am loving my current skincare regimen, which consists of a twice-daily peptide serum, a twice-daily application of moisturizer, plus hydrating face sunscreen serum each morning, and a retinol / hyaluronic acid serum at night. (Why is everything a serum all of a sudden?) My skin feels SO SOFT when I wash my face in the mornings, and I have had two people comment on my skin in recent months. The compliments both came via salespeople in department store perfume counters, and were likely sales motivators rather than the truth, but, wow, did those women know exactly how to make me preen. (I did not buy anything from either of them; that’ll teach you to be nice, salespeople.)

My Cat, Still Catting: My cat remains a daily delight.

Okay that seems to be a good round-up of what’s going on around here. What’s going on with you?

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Five for Friday

Today, I’m taking a page from Stephany’s book and using blog posting as a distraction from the ongoing endless current heavy news. Losing myself in the mundane is soothing, in its way.

If you need a genuine smile, Michelle’s post about photo doodles was magic for me. In the meantime, here are five inconsequential things on my mind today.

  • Watch Me: I am having an Extremely Reactive Skin Situation this week. My underarms are itchy and inflamed, my lips are dry and peeling, and my face is sporting multiple spots and blemishes (including a Rudolph-esque cyst on my nose; a little late to be festive, no?). Plus, my Apple watch band is leaving an angry, painful red blotch on my wrist. Well, wrists plural, because I switch arms every day to give each wrist a break. I love my Apple watch and use it for various timers and alarms, and to track my steps, my exercise, and my sleep. Honestly, no wonder my arms are getting tired of it. But my wrist-swapping method is not working as it once did, so I need a new solution. My husband uses a leather watch band during the workday, and a nylon watch band for working out. I just use the silicone band that came with my watch; maybe I need a nylon watch band? Of course, as with everything, I am spoiled for choices… this one is utilitarian and simple and cheap. This one comes in fun colors/patterns. Or maybe I want a new silicone one, like this? I would prefer a watch band I don’t need to swap out every time I exercise (although if I do need to swap it out, I would be tempted to try a stainless steel band for non-exercise time. How can I choose? Do you have an exercise watch band you like? Or some way to prevent the skin reaction?
  • Everybody Plays the Fool: Some people in my life believe that I anthropomorphize my cat. Which is entirely true. I feel like he is a person in the purest, most universal sense of the word. Sometimes I get the feeling that he is trying very hard to see me as whatever the cat equivalent is for “person.” But I am so very stupid, and have such a very difficult time understanding his clear and simple wishes. Even though I do not understand his clear and simple wishes, I understand his frustration, and just how patient he is being with me, and just how very stupid he thinks I am. I mean, look at this face. I am the recipient of this face multiple times a day. This morning, he sat there staring expectantly at me for a good ten minutes before he gave up in disgust and left my office. I never did figure out what he needed.
  • I Won’t Back Down: Yes, yes, I know I made a big ol’ deal about how I’m FINE with giving up on books that aren’t working for me. But right now I’m reading two books – one with my eyes, one with my ears – that aren’t doing it for me, and I’m just unwilling to let them go. The audiobook is a mystery, and it’s kind of boring, and I don’t really care at all about the narrator/protagonist… but I’ve already given up four hours of my life to listening to it, and I’m more than halfway through it, and I just want to figure out who the murderer is and be done with it. Multiple times a day I tell myself, “Just Google it, and start something else!” and yet I keep plugging away. WHY. The other book is one that SO MANY PEOPLE seem to love, and I want to love it too, and yet it just isn’t striking the right tone with me. To be fair, I haven’t given it much of a shot – a few pages, at most – but I have no desire to pick it up. Seems like an obvious DNF… Except that I WANT to like it. There have been a handful of times when sticking with a book turned out to be worthwhile. I remember thinking The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was a drag for at least 100 pages, but then I ended up really loving it and enjoying the entire series. Of course, the best example is The Goldfinch, which I hated right up until the very end, when the book transformed itself into one of my all-time favorite novels. What if I give up on one of these two books and miss out on another Goldfinch?!
  • Take a Picture: When I was putting together a holiday card this past December, I found plenty of photos of the three of us, and tons of photos of my husband and daughter, but it was extremely hard to find any pictures that featured me and my daughter or me and my husband. I have only one or two very loose goals for the year, but one of them is to appear in more photos with my husband and child. The thing is, I’m not exactly sure how to accomplish this. My husband is a wonderful and prolific photographer, but he’s not always inclined to take photos of people – his eye is on scenery and artistic groupings. Plus, I’m usually the one who insists on taking photos on more mundane occasions. Like, he’s fine taking pictures when we go to Paris, but has no patience for pictures of all us around the Thanksgiving table, you know? I did announce my goal to both husband and daughter, and asked them to help me accomplish it. They seemed receptive, but time will tell. Of course, the other obstacle is me. I do not tend to enjoy seeing myself in photos. If only I can remember that I *do* like seeing myself in photos, long after the fact. My critical eye is kinder with the passage of the years. It is well worth the teeth-gritting of appearing in photos today to achieve the pleasant nostalgia I will feel when I see them in two or five or twenty years.