failures

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Five for Friday

1. For the month of September, I have been waking up at 5:41 and getting out of bed at 6:00. This past week, I’ve been pushing it back a teeny bit; my alarm goes off at 5:21 and I get out of bed at 5:45. The cat has been extremely accommodating in terms of hopping into bed and purring loudly at me at about 4:20. My question is, how freaking early do I need to get up to be able to DO things? 

    Things I’d like to do: Lie in bed for 15 minutes to do the Wordle and Connections and possibly read a blog or two. Make some tea. Take care of the cat. Unload the dishwasher. Write a blog post. Spend 10 minutes watching cat videos with Carla. Get dressed. Eat something. Get out the door on time (7:15). In an ideal world, I would also be able to exercise and shower before we leave for school, but that seems much too ambitious. It’s still something I’d LIKE to do, though.

    Things I have been able to do: Lie in bed to do my word games. Make tea. Take care of the cat. Spend 5-10 minutes watching cat videos with Carla. Get dressed. Eat something (sometimes). We haven’t been out the door on time since the first week of school. Admittedly, this isn’t always my issue. But lately I have been scrambling to be moderately presentable and still be 15 minutes late. 

    Possibly I can squeak back my out-of-bed time to 5:00; but even then, I don’t know if I’d be able to get in a blog post. Definitely not exercise, too. If you exercise before work or school, HOW????

    One of the reasons I want to work exercise into my morning routine is because it’s often the first thing I jettison if the day doesn’t proceed as planned. For the past two days, I didn’t exercise as planned because my days got thrown out of whack. It’s not the end of the world, or anything; I don’t set exercise goals, so I can’t fail, take that perfectionism – and I did at least manage a decent walk on Wednesday – but it’s frustrating when I’m trying to prioritise exercise for my mental, physical, and future health. (The British/Canadian spelling was accidental but I’m keeping it. I think Ses are much prettier than Zs.) Plus, “exercise” is a catch-all term that includes showering, putting on clothing an actual reasonable person might wear, and possibly even doing my hair and/or makeup. Even if I do a shorter workout, and even if I take a ten-minute shower, and even if I throw my wet hair up in a claw clip instead of drying it, the Exercise Plus Shower Plus Getting Ready routine takes about an hour. I have no earthly idea where I’d get a whole extra hour in the morning. I can’t go to bed earlier than nine; Carla’s bedtime is 8:30 and I read to her for thirty minutes. And if I went to bed promptly at nine, I would never see my husband, which is an unacceptable tradeoff for exercise. Listen, I know I don’t really have anything to complain about here. My schedule is very flexible, for the most part. I guess I just keep on working in a workout where I can, sometimes sacrificing it to the whims of life.

    2. I had a baking success and a baking flop this week. The flop was the apple honey cake I made in a nod to Rosh Hashanah. It looked lovely – although I had expected the apple-covered portion to be much darker and more caramelized; not sure why, the photo on the recipe page is not dark and caramelized – and it was fine. But it wasn’t my favorite. The crumb was too big; I think it compares in crumb size, if not exact texture, to cornbread (although my husband disagrees). And the cake had, to my tongue, no flavor. Also, the apples weren’t caramelized enough. The other thing I baked were brownies. Since I was making them for a loved one who’d just had surgery, and since this person is trying to avoid excess sugar and carbs, I decided to try a sugar-free (ish), flourless brownie. The brownies are flavored with dark chocolate, dates, and vanilla, and get their fluffiness from eggs and baking soda. I was skeptical, since I really am not a fan of dates. But they turned out SO well. They are fluffy and soft, rich and chocolatey, and perfectly satisfying. The only real difference I noted between these brownies and “regular brownies” is that they have a slight coconutty flavor (because they are made with coconut oil). Carla loved them; the person I intended them for loved them; I loved them. My husband’s reaction was “these are weird.” Next time, I might try them with butter instead of coconut oil, although I didn’t mind the coconut essence. I am definitely making them again. I like how I didn’t have to chop up the dates; I just let my food processor do all the work. 

    3. After your extremely helpful comments last week, Carla and I (and the cat) tackled her bedroom on Tuesday. We got rid of so much stuff. My strategy was to tell her that I would clean her room for her, she just had to tell me what to do. She had complete control over what stayed and what went into the donation pile (or the trash). I was so ready to get a handle on the mess that I only faltered once, when I saw a beautiful sweater I bought her just last year in the donation bag. But she’s the one who has to wear the clothes. If she’s not going to wear it, it shouldn’t be in her closet. We also got rid of tons of old socks and underthings that are way too small, and I placed a big order for replacements. Even though I said I would do all the work, Carla ended up doing a ton of stuff herself. She organized all her dresser drawers, for instance. AND she did all of her own laundry. She even said it was fun. While I don’t expect that will last, I feel so much relief that her laundry is now HER problem. Her clothing selection is much more manageable and her room looks so much better. 

    Oh hello there, you can’t seriously think this drawer would be better suited to T-shirts, can you?

    4. This weekend, a friend I haven’t seen for years is bringing her daughters to stay with us. I am so excited to see her! And her children, whom I anticipate I will hardly recognize, it’s been so long. One thing I’m trying very hard to do is to resist the little voice in my head that keeps saying, “She’s going to think you got so fat.” My friend, though it should not matter in the least except in terms of the pride I feel for her, is a tiny person to begin with. But she’s also extremely fit – like, she literally has two World records in the fitness arena. My little inner voice, which apparently ignores what a nice and non-judgy person my friend is, thinks she will judge me for being large and soft. 

    Here are my coping thoughts: When I went to my twentieth college reunion a few years ago, I was shocked by how OLD some of my classmates seemed. Some of them were balding, or had grey hair, or looked like – gasp! – middle-aged moms. It was especially shocking to see these aging people next to my dear friends, who looked exactly the same as they’d looked twenty years before. Obviously, it wasn’t that my close friends remained unchanged while people I didn’t know well had aged poorly. It was that my love imbued the people dear to me with youth and beauty that transcends time. I experienced this phenomenon more recently, when I got to see a college friend perform with his college band. The bar was packed with a bunch of half-drunk middle-aged farts. But my friend and his band were exactly as they were back in college. Love is transformative in so many ways, and I think it can allow you to see your people in their best light. The way I look at my husband, a distinguished, respected physician who brings hope and relief to so many patients, and see only the cute charming finance major I met nearly a quarter century ago. Anyway, I am trying with all my heart to believe that my fit friend is going to arrive and see past my frumpy, overweight, perimenopausal self to her dear friend of many years.

    5. I have two recent purchases to recommend. One is a fidget toy. Carla apparently saw that a classmate had one, and she wanted one, too. So I caved and got it for her. It’s not silent, per se, but it’s very quiet – just makes a soft shuck when it changes shape. And it is very cool; the shape shifting is mesmerizing. Even the cat likes it. Speaking of the cat, we bought him yet another cat toy. (The poor cat is once again hiding under the bed; it’s been a traumatic week, and he does not do well with loud sounds. This time, the loud sound was me putting ice cubes in the dryer to de-wrinkle my duvet cover. He has never scratched me before, but I have three large gashes to commemorate this particular trauma.) Anyway: this toy is perfect for him. It has a little butterfly dangler on the top, it has a couple of balls on a track that he can push around, and it has a little fringey thing who pokes his fringey face out of hidey holes at random around the circumference of the base. This toy is electronic (uses batteries or a charger) and it has several settings. With one, just the fringey guy hides and appears. Another setting turns the butterfly dangler on, so that it spins, stops, and spins the opposite way. Another setting has both things happen either at once or one after another, I haven’t figured it out yet. It will turn itself off after a few minutes if the cat ignores it for awhile, and then it turns back on as soon as he touches it. Leo LOVES this thing. I put it up on top of a cabinet when he’s not using it (so he doesn’t get bored with it – cats get bored so easily) and he will walk over to the cabinet and look longingly at it and meow until I fetch it down for him. 

    Keeping this butterfly thing AND the little fringey guy in line is a very serious endeavor.
    by

    Fives for Friday

    Let’s hop back on the blogging bandwagon with some random bullets organized by alliteration.

    5 Food Fixations

    The Best Brownies: Usually I am happy to make brownies from a boxed mix, but I didn’t have a boxed mix in my pantry and I needed some brownies. So I googled “best easy brownies” and ended up following this recipe. The brownies were so good. Rich and fudgy and not overly sweet. (Comments about the recipe mentioned that the original was on the sweet side; the recipe creator even included a note about how to reduce the sugar level, so I felt fine about leaving out the powdered sugar. The brownies were not too sweet.) Alas, the brownies are now gone. 

    Starbucks Favorite at Home: One of my go-to summer drinks at Starbucks is a green tea lemonade. But I honestly despise going to Starbucks. Well, maybe that’s putting it a little too strongly. How’s this: I hate going to Starbucks as often as my family likes to. For my particular personality and for my particular child, treats are both more enjoyable and more appreciated when they are truly treats – out of the ordinary, once in a while – rather than regular features of our week. I have implemented a once-a-month rule with Carla, and that works just fine for us. But recently I realized I could make green tea lemonade at home. I just brew a big jug of green tea, and then pair it with some lemonade. Just as satisfying and much more cost effective. It’s been such a hit that I even bought a special pitcher just for my green tea. 

    Cherry Crisp: My parents and I took a day trip to a region that specializes in cherries, and my mom bought a couple of bags for us to enjoy back at her house. One night she made a cherry crisp with some of the cherries (which she painstakingly pitted, chopped, and froze for future devouring by my daughter). It was delicious. I have been thinking about it ever since. In fact, I tried to make my own cherry crisp for my husband and in-laws, following the same recipe my mom used. I don’t know if I made an error while adding the ingredients, or if I cooked the cherries too long, or if the cherries our grocery store sold me are simply subpar, but it couldn’t hold a candle to my mom’s. I guess I’ll have to wait until next summer, and hope she recreates the magic. 

    Posh Chocolate: I cannot remember who told me about this little boutique chocolate shop, but I needed to mail some thank-you gifts and these fit the bill. Then I wanted to have a little “welcome to my house” gift for my in-laws while they visited, so I had a box of truffles sent here… and added a box of the huckleberry bonbons for myself, my husband, and Carla to enjoy. They are delicious and beautiful, and very reasonably priced for artisan chocolate. Also, I ordered all four boxes during the height of the heat wave, and they all arrived intact and unaffected. (I did pay $7.99 for cool packaging, as per their warm weather shipping notice.)

    These are SO delicious. High quality chocolate, and the huckleberry flavor is distinct and very natural rather than artificial.

    Chipotle Chicken & Black Bean Soup: After endless oppressive heat, we’ve been having a spate of cooler weather. So I made a big pot of my favorite soup and I’ve been eating it for lunch. So yummy. 

    5 Frets & Frustrations

    Kitty Surgery: My little kitten is at the vet’s today, getting neutered. I have been extremely anxious about him being sedated, even though I’m aware this is a common and fairly simple procedure. The kind vet tech listened to my anxious babbling and answered all my questions and handed me a printout about what to expect that assured me I am not the only high-strung pet parent they’ve ever dealt with. I bought him special newspaper pellet litter (which is supposed to be less likely to stick to his incision) and moved some carpet squares, his milk carton bed, a litter box, and his water fountain into a downstairs bathroom so he won’t be tempted to run and leap around. It was weird coming home to an empty house; I have very quickly become accustomed to his little kitty pitter patter on the floors as soon as I walk through the door. I did take the opportunity to run the robot vacuum, who I am sure will appreciate doing its job unencumbered. (Leo’s attitude toward Rocky is either suspicious watchfulness or all-out attack mode, and requires a lot of supervision and “leave Rocky alone” repetition.) Anyway, I’m sure my sweet kitty will be fine, but I’m fretting about him anyway. I really wish my mind didn’t always leap immediately to the worst case scenario.

    Blog Backlog: It has been a long while since I’ve posted… and a long while since I’ve read or commented on posts. I’m sorry! I am keenly aware of being a bad blog friend. And now I’m fretting about how I am possibly going to go back and read all of your posts that I’ve missed. My Feedly was so overwhelming I simply marked all as read (and I don’t even follow all of my favorite bloggers on Feedly! ack!), but I dislike missing out on what’s going on around the blog community. Well. I will figure it out somehow. 

    Health Concerns: I have a couple of dear people in my life who are dealing with some health uncertainty right now. One is facing surgery, which will confirm or refute the presence of cancer; and then there will be recovery from the surgery and possible additional therapies. Another is facing a chronic diagnosis and adjusting to what that means and how to keep on top of things. I can’t DO anything, except offer support, so I’m sitting over here fretting. 

    Freezer Leak: We suddenly have water appearing beneath the door of the freezer each time we open it. I can see a buildup of ice on the bottom of the freezer, so one possibility is that it melts and then pours out when we need ice or whatever. Another possibility is that the filter is clogged. We had similar leaking from the fridge side when we first moved into this house, and the fridge service person told me that the filter had never been cleaned and was FULL of pet hair. (Hork.) But… we’ve only had a cat for three months and we have the filter cleaned annually, so… who knows. The fridge service person is coming out in early September. I always love when the scheduler reminds me that he charges $75 per quarter hour, on top of the $159 fee just to show up. So let’s all hope this is an easy filter cleanout and not something requiring multiple quarter hours of his time. 

    CPAP Tryout: My primary care physician and my sleep specialist agree that I should at least try a CPAP machine to see if it helps me sleep better. I have mild sleep apnea (which, I learned, means that I was observed having 10 sleep apnea events per hour; “mild sleep apnea” is 5-15 such events, according to whatever criteria my sleep specialist follows.) so CPAP isn’t even really indicated, but they think it could help and so… I guess I will try it. I am unconvinced that it will do anything except cost additional money and further prevent me from sleeping. A couple of friends think I should really be pursuing the “this is perimenopause” path, but I haven’t gotten any traction from my gynecologist, pcp, or sleep specialist on that idea… and I feel too weary of all the appointments and all the money to reach out to a menopause specialist. Yet. 

    5 Frivolous Fripperies 

    Sunroom Sundries: One of my husband’s wish list items when we were looking for a house was a sunroom. This house indeed has a sunroom, or, more accurately, a screened-in porch, but for the majority of the time we’ve been here, all we’ve used it for is storing various outdoor cushions and pool floaties. This summer, we made a plan to turn it into a usable space. Now, we have furniture (although we are still waiting on a coffee table, which is backordered until November) and a rug and throw pillows. I really wanted to have some big leafy plants in there and after looking around exhaustively I finally found two on-sale palms that are non-toxic to cats and don’t require direct sunlight. Finding the right plants was very challenging, but Then all I needed were some decorative planters and some plant stands, both so they look nice in the sunroom (and don’t leak all over the floor) and so they look nice in our house when I move them inside over winter. Listen, I tried so hard to shop locally for these things. I went to six local, independently-owned garden centers and two separate Home Depots and a Target to try to find planters I liked that weren’t a billion dollars, and could not, so I ended up ordering them from that online place. The planters, despite being enormous and ceramic, arrived completely undamaged and I like them and the plant stands quite a lot. I am sitting in the sunroom as I type, and it’s breezy and I am surrounded by greenery and zero bugs and I love it very much. Leo, incidentally, adores coming out here. He likes to pretend he’s a jungle cat and keeps a close eye on the bees pollinating the hydrangeas.

    Shorts: It’s been a hot summer and if there’s one thing I hate more than wearing shorts, it’s being uncomfortably hot. So I ordered a few more pairs of exercise shorts so I can walk outside without wanting to die. I got these ones in black and navy after admiring the pair that my friend was wearing. And then I got a pair of longish yoga shorts I can wear for walking or for doing workouts in my basement. I like them all very much. All of them have pockets, which is useful, and all of them are long enough to prevent thigh chafing. 

    More Shorts: Somehow the exercise shorts purchase set off a little shorts-buying spree, and I ended up getting two pairs of non-exercise shorts as well. These green ones and these khaki ones. I like the way they fit, and love the green ones wholeheartedly. I’m not completely sold on the khaki color, though – it’s a little darker than I thought it would be. Perhaps I will return that pair. And then I thought, I’ve got exercise and public clothing options covered, what about lounging around the house options? So I got a little T-shirt and shorts set that I adore. I feel more put together than I do when I’m wearing pajamas and the material is a nice weight and very breathable. 

    Pill Keeper: This is a very silly purchase and it makes me feel a million years old, but I love it so very much. My husband bought it for me because I kept complaining that I couldn’t remember which of my 85 supplements and medications I’d taken already. And then I had to go out of town for two weeks and I didn’t want to take all the bottles with me. So he bought me this pill keeper, which has containers labeled for each day of the week, and each day’s container has a little compartment for day and for night. I dislike having to fill each compartment every Sunday, but I love not having to hassle with bottles or concentrate on whether I’ve already taken my allergy pill.

    Planner Plans: Okay, I am trying again to be the Planner Person I want to be. I got this undated daily planner – undated in case I try it for a week and then give up on/forget about it for a few months and want to try again. It’s nice and big, it has lots of room to write. I am going to start September with schedules and plans and a work strategy. LFG.

    5 Full-Out Flops

    Still No Zucchini: My zucchini plant, which is flourishing in terms of size and number of flowers, still has yet to produce a single viable fruit. My very inexpert guess at why it hasn’t produced is that a) there is a dearth of female flowers and b) the male and female flowers never seem to open at the same time, which seems like poor planning from a reproduction standpoint. I am happy to try, if slightly creeped out by, hand fertilization. But I have never seen a single female flower. UNTIL TODAY. Of course, the male flowers were all closed. But I pulled one off its stem, tore off the petals, and tried to use the male stamen to fertilize the female one. We’ll see how it goes. 

    Scratching Post(s): We have purchased four scratching posts and pads in the three months we’ve had a cat. They are a variety of shapes, sizes, and materials. We also have a bunch of carpet square samples from when we were choosing a living room rug. And yet the cat by FAR prefers to sharpen his claws on the new furniture, any and all rugs (except the carpet square), and the carpeted stairs. We clip his nails weekly. We redirect him to preferred surfaces when he scratches the wrong things. We have scratchers ALL OVER THE PLACE. And yet. Sigh. I realize this is just him Being A Cat, and there’s not really anything we can do, but it’s still disheartening.

    Tidiness Maintenance: Earlier this summer, Carla and I fully cleaned her room, her bathroom, her craft room, and her closet. She bought organizers for her bathroom drawers, she culled her clothing to only the things she supposedly likes and wears, she allowed me to stow all her Barbies, LEGOs, and other toys in bins. We tidied and sorted and shelved and vacuumed. We discussed doing a nightly five-minute tidy. We discussed ensuring that everything has a home. We discussed putting things away when you are ready to move to the next thing. We discussed not starting a new project until you are done with the current project. And now we are at the end of the summer and everything is once again buried under a litter of clothing and craft supplies and trash. Part of me feels like, okay, my kid is in a messy phase; I was a pretty messy kid, too. And a mess won’t kill anyone. Shut the door and ignore. But the other part of me feels like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

    Laid-Back Summer Schedule: This failure was at least instructive. Carla was adamant this year that she didn’t want her summer to be full of long-term camps. Knowing that my child prefers to be active and that I prefer to have copious time to myself, I set up several short-term camps for her. But we did have long stretches of days and weeks where she had nothing to do. Instead of filling those days with time in the pool, time with dogs, time with friends, Carla spent a lot of time Velcroed to me, feeling bored and unmoored. This, despite its high points, made for a less-than-ideal summer. I asked her which camps she liked the most, and she enjoyed the two camps that had her occupied ALL DAY. So now we know for next year. More camps. Maybe more travel (our time at my parents’ summer home was phenomenal). Much less unstructured time. 

    Gift-Giving Stalls: As usual, I have been completely overthinking and under-delivering on gift giving. Case in point: I had been researching ideas for my sister-in-law’s birthday gift all summer, and then when I realized I was running out of time to ship it to her, I panic-bought her some jewelry (which I think she will like). The gift has been sitting on my desk serving as a cat toy ever since and now her birthday is next week and I have yet to ship it. Also, my mother-in-law’s birthday is coming up in September and then my husband, sister-in-law, and brother have birthdays shortly after that, and I have not a single idea of what to get any of them. 

    5 Feline Photos

    Here are some photos of my sweet kitten. The vet called and said he did great during surgery and I can come get him soon. She also said she thinks he will top out at ten pounds, which is HALF the size that the breeder anticipated. Who will be right????

    What’s more comfy than some wrapping supplies and a stack of Post-It Notes?
    Post ten-minute chase-the-feather-wand-toy session.
    If a human is in the gym, the cat is in the gym, investigating EVERYTHING. Or staring at you with pity while silently critiquing your form.
    Those bees look very busy but they could decide to invade at any time so it’s crucial to be alert.
    Not sure if he was sick of listening to my workout video or if he wanted to try out the treadmill.
    by

    Six Things Sunday

    Oh hello there! It’s been too long! Like, really too long. Thank you so much to everyone who has written a sweet note or text or blog comment checking in. I feel very loved, and I’m so sorry if I caused you any worry.

    I’m also a little embarrassed, to be honest. Because there is NO REASON for my very lengthy impromptu break from the blog world. I can say “I’ve been busy” because that’s true, but also: WE ARE ALL BUSY. And yet YOU have continued to prioritize posting and commenting and I somehow have not. 

    That doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel tremendous guilt about missing all the things going on in your life. There are a lot of negatives in there; I trust you get where I’m coming from. 

    1. Writer’s Block: Because I am currently struggling to think of ANYTHING AT ALL to write in this post, I might as well start with the Big Dumb Excuse, which is that I have been suffering a severe case of Writer’s Block lately. I sit down to write and there might be a few gasping spurts of words but then there’s nothing but hissing air and the sense that something might be broken. I have neglected all three of my writing partners this month, and I hate that. As someone who thrives when I know a friend is sitting beside me, tapping away at their keyboard at the exact same time, I hate that I’m not holding up my end of the clickety-clack. When I told one of my writing pals that I hadn’t written a word in eons, he mused that he doesn’t believe in writer’s block. I get it; he has been a professional writer for decades now, and when there is a deadline, you simply can’t have writer’s block. You find a way for the words to flow. And I managed to tap into that source this month – the cold, deep pool of responsibility in which swim your reputation and your income, present and future – for a work project, and again for an editing project. But I could not get it together to do any other writing whatsoever. I opened my document of blog posts and stared at it more times that you can imagine. I made lists of blog topics. I brainstormed a new story idea with a friend via text. I opened up in-progress works and stared at them. That’s as far as I got. My writer’s-block-is-not-a-thing friend gently tried to prompt me to just WRITE, anything, even if it’s crap, and – this blog post aside – I find that nearly impossible to do. I know that it’s like exercise: you do it, even if it hurts, even if your heart feels like it will explode the cage of your ribs, and the more you do it, the easier it gets, bit by agonizing bit. And yet I find myself staring at the cursor, blinking, blinking, and cannot remember what a sentence is or how to form one. Alongside the shame of any kind of personal failure, there’s something uniquely demoralizing about not being able to do something you’ve always done. ANYWAY. I no longer have The Chaos of May to blame for my not sitting and staring at the cursor, so I’m forcing myself to Just Do It, even if the results are Of Highly Questionable Value.

    2. The Best Thing About My House: It has been SO FUN to see my yard come alive this spring and summer! The previous owners planted so many things and many of them are haphazard and a little weird (like big tufts of grass that seem to be plopped down in places with no rhyme or reason), but many of them are delightful. There is a lone forsythia bush in the back yard that burst into yellow in early spring. A lilac bush followed, and oh – lilac is one of my favorite scents. I collected big bunches of the blooms and brought them inside where they filled the house with spring scent. And then came a glorious surprise: IRISES. I adore irises. Alongside tulips, they may be my favorite flower ever. We had so many of them! They were gorgeous and smell divine. There is a magnolia tree in my backyard! I have wanted a magnolia tree since college, when I first encountered one outside my freshman year dorm. For several magical days each spring, you could walk through a shower of fragrant pink petals. And now I have my own! It’s white, though, but it’s nonetheless so lovely. We have roses! And daylilies! And peonies! Catmint and lavender by the bushel! And a bunch of flowers I don’t recognize! The hydrangeas are just starting to bloom and we have some butterfly bushes and I am just so happy with all of this color and scent and summery abundance. 

    3. Plans and Planning: A million years ago, I asked for advice about buying a planner. I am not a planner person, but I wanted to BECOME a planner person. So many of my blog readers are planner people, and they all seem to Have It Together, so I kind of deluded myself into thinking if only I had a planner, I could also Have It Together. I admit, somewhat sheepishly to everyone who was kind enough to leave a helpful comment, that I panic-ordered the first specific planner someone suggested. It was a Passion Planner, recommended by Kate (thanks, Kate!) and I got it in the 5×8 size because that’s what Gigi recommended. It arrived, and I looked at it, and it has since gone unused. Turns out I have no idea how to use a planner. Anyway. My daughter is beginning MIDDLE SCHOOL next year, and the Middle School administration recommends using a planner to keep track of their absolutely bonkerballs schedule (bonkerballs is my term, not theirs; presumably they think it is doable and normal), so I bought Carla a planner and we are going to learn how to use one together this summer. 

    4. More Gardening Talk! My husband and daughter got me a garden center gift certificate for Mother’s Day, so I spent one entire glorious day shopping for and planting a whole host of annuals. The previous owners left quite a few containers behind (some of which are in poor shape; one disintegrated the instant I moved it) and I had some containers from my old house. So I had a lot of real estate to fill. I bought plenty of flowers but I also bought a bunch of vegetables. It’s been a few years since I tried to grow veggies, but our backyard is fenced in, so there is no danger of deer (chipmunk danger is, however, rampant) and I’m excited to try again. I have a zucchini plant, a broccoli plant, two different cucumbers (I asked A Woman Who Seemed to Know Her Stuff for cucumber advice at the garden center, and she recommended two types, and I felt like I couldn’t not take her advice), a strawberry plant, a jalapeno plant. I also planted a few sugar snap peas and a bunch of herbs (thyme, rosemary, basil, cilantro). THEN our old next door neighbor texted me that she’d grown a few tomato plants from seed just for Carla. The neighbor is an avid gardener, and Carla used to go over to her house to play with her dog and they’d end up in the garden, where Carla would eat so many tomatoes. This former neighbor is also solely responsible for Carla liking broccoli, which is a thing she now reliably eats, so you will understand that I have undying love and adoration for this person and her magical powers. We just got to visit the ex-neighbor and her dog, where we also collected three beautiful tomato plants, and as soon as I’m done typing this nonsense I am going to go move them from their tiny pots into bigger containers. 

    5. Summer Priorities: Carla and I sat down the other day and came up with a list of summer priorities. I feel like I have too many priorities, though, and feel a little pre-stressed about failing to prioritize any of them. Anyway, my daily priorities are: writing, exercising, spending time outside, spending time with my kid, reading, dusting off my rusty French. Weekly, I want to swim, go for a drive, and have a family movie night. Carla’s daily priorities are: biking, playing with the neighbors, reading, and swimming. (She is also studying French daily, though for some reason it didn’t make it on the priorities list.) Each week, she wants to walk with me, swim with me, get ice cream, and have playdates with friends. Some of these things can be done in combination. Like, if Carla and I go on a walk or a swim, that covers three priorities at once. I could even try writing outdoors, which could be fun? (I just ordered this bug spray because our lovely yard is humming with biting insects.)

    6. Why French? Carla and I are both studying French because we have a loose plan to go to France as a family in 2025. My husband and I have both been lucky enough to visit France several times apiece. We also spent our honeymoon in Paris. We love the country and we both feel fairly comfortable getting around. Right now, we are in the planning stages and we haven’t yet narrowed down where we want to go. Paris is a definite, since Carla has never been there and wants to see the Eiffel Tower. But then where should we go? My husband and I have both been to a lot of places, but there is surprisingly little overlap in where we’ve visited. Do we go somewhere one of us has already been? Do we try to stick to places neither of us have seen? I’m also kind of excited about the idea of picking a historical French subject for us to study as a family and then explore in person. Joan of Arc! Marie Antoinette! Eleanor of Aquitaine! Marie Curie! How cool would it be to read about a historical person and then see where she lived? My family is (so far) less enthused about this plan than I am. Carla has never been abroad and we are all super excited about introducing her to the joy of international travel. 

      That’s it for today, Internet. Carla’s tomato plants are calling. Thank you again for being so kind, and for caring about me. 

      If you could go to any non-Paris city in France, where would you go? Do you have any summer priorities? Do you use a planner and, if so, do you have any hot tips for a planner neophyte?