January 27, 2024 by suzanne day by day

Six on a Saturday

Boring But Hopeful Health Updates. I am going to say this very quietly, lest I jinx it: but I think that I can eat yogurt again? I have been avoiding dairy since May (which is not the same as giving it up; I still put half and half in my tea, I eat occasional sour cream and occasionally throw a dollop of yogurt onto stir fries and have had the occasional scoop of ice cream) after my acupuncturist suggested it might be negatively impacting my skin. My dermatologist was receptive to this idea and thought, based on some semi-related studies he’d read, that it could be exacerbating my rosacea. Based on some very non-scientific experimentation, it SEEMED true. There was a week when I ate white bean enchilada soup every day for lunch and my skin freaked out, for instance. And there is milk and yogurt in that soup (it is a fantastic soup), so I blamed the dairy. When I avoid dairy, I am mostly okay. I do also have to use a special face wash, though, so maybe that’s what’s keeping the bulk of the rosacea at bay. My family and I went on a weekend getaway recently and I decided to throw caution to the wind and eat some yogurt for breakfast every day. Nothing happened, skin wise. So when we got home from our mini-vacay, I continued to buy and eat yogurt. I have been doing it for several weeks now and things seem stable??? I am so hopeful about this, because I LOVE yogurt. It is delicious but it is also such a fantastic source of protein, especially since I dislike eggs.

*My usual breakfast of late: SmartLite bread with almond butter and honey, yogurt, and tea.*

Now I am whispering so softly my voice is but a rustle: my plantar fasciitis seems like it is under control??? I don’t know what happened or when, but my feet just feel… better??? I am continuing to wear shoes in the house and I do calf stretches every night before bed but… I haven’t been to the acupuncturist in two months and I don’t feel like I need to make another appointment.

Puzzling Gynecological Visit. While we’re on the topic of health, why not discuss my recent visit to the gyn? I did promise Ally some speculum content, but I am immediately going to break that promise because there was no speculum involved. This wasn’t the puzzling part; current gynecological guidelines recommend that most people with a uterus have a pap test every 3 years as part of a screening for cervical cancer, and I’m not due for a pap until next year. However, I was there for my yearly reproductive parts exam. In years past, this has included a pelvic exam, a breast exam, and a discussion of my health concerns. This year, the nurse got me situated in a room and asked if I would be okay having a resident take part in the exam.

The resident was lovely. Great bedside manner, seemed very knowledgeable about my questions (which were specific to breast cancer and perimenopause). She asked if I needed any prescriptions renewed (yes) and whether I wanted her to order a mammogram for me (yes). But then she finished the talking portion of the visit and said that the exam was optional. What????? OPTIONAL? I didn’t know what to do with that information! Listen, I think we’d be hard pressed to find anyone who ENJOYS a pelvic or breast exam. They are invasive and embarrassing and uncomfortable. But… the exam is the purpose of the annual gynecological well visit! If I just wanted a refill of birth control pills, I could simply call that in! I came to the office specifically so that the doctor could poke and prod my bits and tell me if anything was wrong!

What I should have said was, “Of course I want an exam, that’s why I’m here.” But I got flustered when the resident gave me the option. Part of me, I think, was a little embarrassed to ask that she examine me. Which is dumb, because that is her job, and, again, WHY I WAS THERE, but I still felt like it was weird to request it, if it was optional. So I said, “Well, what do you recommend?” And instead of saying, “I recommend you get your reproductive parts examined” she said, “It’s up to you.” WHAT?! That is not a recommendation. We hemmed and hawed a little bit, and finally I said something like, “Well, I came here prepared for a physical exam, so I might as well do it.” But the whole thing was weird and awkward.

And also: WHAT THE HELL? A) Why is the physical exam suddenly optional? And B) What is the point of the annual gynecological exam if there is no exam? The whole experience was baffling.

Speaking of Perimenopause. A ridiculous spate of hot flashes has had me in a bit of a fret about whether I am beginning perimenopause. Doesn’t seem likely, considering my family history, but who really knows, right? There is a fine line between The Normal Joys of Having a Female Reproductive System and going through The Change. The gynecological resident reassured me, if a little dismissively, that I am too young for perimenopause and then moving along to other topics. Maybe so (although I am 42, so it’s not wildly out of the realm of possibility), but it’s something I want to prepare myself for, so I’m thinking about it now. I am listening to Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause (and How to Feel Like Yourself Again) by Jancee Dunn so it’s top of mind. The book is engagingly written – I like Dunn’s energetic voice and humorous/informative writing style. It seems like she did her research, and there are tons of practical tips for how to address various symptoms of menopause. But the book makes me so uncomfortable! In some cases, the physical discomfort is so severe that I find myself squirming in my car. Dunn is careful to interject, not infrequently, that not every person will experience every symptom, that a lot of people go through menopause with nary a hot flash. But this book covers the whole spectrum of menopause issues, so the whole thing feels REALLY OMINOUS. Yikes.

Nature Is Healing. This is probably something I should say very quietly, as well, lest I scare it away, but it seems like sriracha is gradually making its way back into the world. Sriracha – specifically Huy Fong sriracha – is my favorite of all condiments. It would be one of my desert island foods, for SURE. I love it so very much. So I have been keeping an eye out for it in the years since its production has dwindled and have built myself a little stockpile. (There was a moment when I got down to one bottle and tried a bunch of alternatives to see if there was something else I could live with. No, there isn’t. So I have gradually replenished my stores.) I’ve almost always been able to get it on Amazon, although there were a few months this past spring when it was unavailable except for ridiculous prices. (Will I pay $17 per 14-ounce bottle? Yes, it turns out, I will, but that’s pretty much my limit.) But then I noticed it was readily available in Asian grocery stores. I made myself a deal that if I saw sriracha on the shelves, I would buy one bottle. That didn’t seem excessive. When I saw sriracha at Wegman’s recently, I bought a bottle. THEN I saw it at Target and bought another bottle. But this week, even my local grocery store had a small supply of sriracha! I did not buy a bottle; hopefully that won’t prove to be a mistake. Anyway. I am really cautiously optimistic about sriracha being BACK because I love it so much.

Wedding Gift Ideas? My hair stylist just got engaged. We have talked about her wedding for almost the entirety of my past two hair appointments. To be clear, I LOVE talking about weddings and wedding planning and enjoyed this line of conversation THOROUGHLY. Am I hoping that she has a baby immediately after she gets married, so we can talk about pregnancy and then babies and then parenting?! YES, with all my heart. She’s always a delight to talk to, but I much prefer this stuff to the usual “what are you doing this weekend, what kind of travel is coming up this year, what are you watching” kind of chitchat, which is pleasant but requires a lot of effort and doesn’t fuel my soul like wedding and baby talk.

I have distracted myself. She is getting married and I want to buy her a wedding present. However. While I have a very well-developed generous impulse, I have a more well-developed gift giving anxiety that makes the whole thing gift giving process more complicated than it should be. I have several months to fret over and prepare for and acquire this gift but it would be really nice if I had A Real Idea instead of considering and discarding ideas for months and never buying anything and throwing some cash at her at the last minute. Maybe cash is the best gift! But a) I get the strong impression that her fiancé is loaded so she wants for nothing and b) she has been my hair stylist for several years now and I like her immensely and I would love to get her something more personal. Do I… ask her if she’s registered somewhere? I kind of think no, considering she and her spouse-to-be are established adults and live in a fully stocked house… but maybe? She likes alcohol, music (although her taste in music is very specific), travel, cats, Christmas, football. Maybe I could get her something she could take on her honeymoon? (Which will be to a tropical island type place.) But what would that be? I will see her again at least once before she gets married, so I could presumably ask her pointed questions to dig up additional information.

HALP.

Persistent Grey. After our bout of snow and cold, we have now returned to abnormally warm temperatures and the persistent grey that weighs so heavily on my soul in the winter time. Yuck. For a few days, the grey seemed intent on inserting itself as forcefully into our lives as possible by way of fog. Fog is eerie and beautiful. But I am so ready to say goodbye to January and get on toward spring. February is my favorite month because it goes so quickly and then it’s practically spring and we can look forward to longer days and blooming flowers and BLUE SKIES.

*My poor photography skills don’t adequately capture how much it felt like being in an (the) Emily Bronte novel.*

What’s on your mind this weekend?

May 13, 2023 by suzanne day by day

Seven Things Saturday

I have a bunch of tiny inconsequential things to discuss this weekend.

1. This Headline Made Me Mad: I recognize that not everyone cares about Mother’s Day, and that it is a perfectly fine and/or pleasant holiday for many, that it is a non-event for some – and that it is, for reasons of loss or estrangement or jerkfacery, horrible for others. That’s why I am building up quite a froth about this headline, and about all the other “last minute Mother’s Day” emails in my inbox. Because it is clearly accepted that some people will wait until the very last second, and that’s a shitty take. It is YOUR MOTHER, or the mother of YOUR CHILD. It is not hard to remember to do literally anything to celebrate the mother in your life! LITERALLY ANYTHING! That is the bar! For me, Mother’s Day has typically been a day of ambiguous expectations, complicated feelings, and subsequent guilt. For no reason other than that Mother’s Day is a day built on very high expectations that really have no way of being met while simultaneously feeling that I should nonetheless have no expectations at all. Gigi noted on Elisabeth’s post the other day that she tries to think of Mother’s Day as about others, not about herself; it is not a day for her but a day she gives her loved ones the chance to honor her. The Lazy Genius posted something similar on Instagram today, and both of these arguments resonated with me. So I am trying to reframe Mother’s Day for myself. (This does not work, of course, if your family choose not to honor you, which is fortunately not my situation. But if it is your situation, I see you and I am furious on your behalf.) I am also thinking about Sarah’s beautiful article (which she linked to recently in a related post) about reframing the often tedious and resentment-building tasks of motherhood as acts of love, because it seems topically appropriate.

2. Indoor Outdoor: Guess who wore her indoors only shoes outside? And only figured it out halfway through the walk? Turns out you can wash sneakers in the washing machine, which is good to know.

3. Speaking of Shoes: I have FINALLY found a new pair of walking shoes. Mine were really in a state of disrepair. I don’t know WHAT I do to shoes, but the heel part of each shoe has a giant hole in it. It took me three tries, but I finally settled on a pair of Brooks Ghost 14s. It took me so long because my typical size felt very small, and then so did the next size up. So I am wearing size 9.5 instead of 8. They are very comfy and I only got blisters the first day I wore them, which speaks more to the state of my heels than to the shoes themselves. Now I am working on finding CUTE sandals that won’t make my feet ache.

4. I’ve Never Bean So Surprised: I went to roast some chickpeas the other day, and my can of chickpeas had a bunch of kidney beans in it! I was a little weirded out. It seemed highly likely that the beans were perfectly fine to eat, and that I should just move on with my day… but the catastrophizer portion of my brain very helpfully started coming up with all these Danger Scenarios: If the bean segregation system was down, wouldn’t that mean that other important systems could be down, too? Cleaning systems? Packaging systems that allow the beans to be safely canned? Perhaps the quality assurance had taken a nosedive at Hanover, and if they weren’t monitoring this aspect of quality, maybe there were other areas that were failing as well. If there is contamination of bean types, could there be other kinds of contamination? What if the bean containment unit hadn’t been cleaned properly, and the kidney beans were left behind and were all old and gross? So I poured the beans down the sink and opened a new can. Same issue! Kidney beans in the garbanzos! I poured that one out too and submitted a comment on the Hanover website. Then I opened a third can. Seemed fine. I rinsed the chickpeas and poured them onto a sheet pan. Where I spotted one lone kidney bean. I tossed it and roasted the chickpeas.

5. Memory Failure: My husband picked up his acoustic guitar the other day and I asked him if he was going to serenade me. No. He instead gave me a mini lecture on… chords, I think? Not really sure. I am not nor do I suspect I will ever be interested in playing the guitar and I tuned out a little, remembering this guy in high school who DID serenade me with his acoustic guitar. He was a lovely boy, so sweet and smart and very talented at both playing the guitar and singing. He used to sing me James Taylor and Eric Clapton songs, and I remember very distinctly how cool it was (a boy was serenading me! and he was legit good at it!) and yet how uncomfortable it was (did he… expect Something? I was not interested in him romantically) (and also it is a little weird to just sit in a room while someone sings at you). (I do think I may have kissed him once? Despite not being romantically interested in him? Which felt like a reasonable concession on my part for all the lovely serenades, but also probably confused the issue for him. Ugh. How do I prevent Carla from feeling like she ever owes a person kisses?) Anyway. I was sitting there, not listening to my poor darling husband as he earnestly explained how to use one’s finger as a capo??? to make power chords???? and thinking about this boy from high school and how I could NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER HIS LAST NAME. I could remember his first name. I could remember the first and last name of the woman he married. (I wonder if he won her over by serenading her? and, if so, whether he sang her the same exact songs?) (And does he serenade her to this day?) But I CANNOT remember his last name. I remember his first name. Although the more I try to locate his last name in my memory, the shakier I feel about the accuracy of his first name. There are people I could ask, of course. And maybe I have a yearbook floating around somewhere that features him and his entire name. But instead, I keep picturing his very pleasant face and being unable to come up with the name. Memory is weird.

6. Non Dairy Update (as Opposed to a Dairy Non Update, or a Non Dairy Non Update): I have been dairy free for two and a half weeks now. It’s going fine. I don’t LOVE dairy products, so I don’t really miss them. The only place I need dairy is in my morning tea, and Nicole recommended cashew milk, so I am using that and it’s very creamy. It tastes like cashews though, which shouldn’t be a surprise based on the fact that it is cashew milk. But I found it surprising, and each time I drink my tea now I have to remind myself, This will taste mildly of cashews. I like cashews, and eat them as a snack quite frequently, so it’s not that I dislike the taste in any way. It’s just… not a flavor I experience often outside of the actual nut. The biggest issue I’m having is that I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get as much protein as I was able to squeeze in before. I have been counting calories since January (with very little luck, but I haven’t braved another option), and yogurt, skim milk, and cottage cheese have been KEY to me getting enough protein while sticking within my calorie limit. I will admit that I don’t really know what I’m doing in terms of protein, but from the resources I’ve consulted, it seems like the goal is at least 30 grams of protein per meal, with a secondary goal of 130 grams per day (some sources say as many grams of protein as your weight in pounds). I was pretty good at getting at least 100 grams per day with my regimen of yogurt-plus-skim-milk-smoothie with protein-fortified bread and almond butter for breakfast, cottage cheese for lunch or snack, and lean meat for dinner, with sometimes a little boost of yogurt for dessert. But now I am lucky if I can get to 70 grams of protein a day. Probably this is because I hate eggs (although I do eat them) and cannot eat soy (not that I could stomach the texture of tofu even if I could eat soy). Anyway. If you have Hot Tips about meeting protein goals I am keen to hear them.

7. Bee Mug: It is very grey and yucky outside today with occasional spurts of rain, which means that half of my Mother’s Day request will go unmet, at least for the near future. (I wanted to go to a local attraction we’ve never visited, because my child and husband have no interest in it; they agreed to go with me as a Mother’s Day gift. We can’t go tomorrow because my daughter has An Event; not sure if the event schedulers are geniuses or jerks.) So I am blogging, reading, and drinking green tea from my bee mug, which was a birthday gift from Gigi and which makes me deeply pleased every time I drink from it.

What are you up to this weekend? Any email headlines really grating your cheese today? From what vehicle are you drinking your morning beverage of choice these days? Any suggestions for CUTE feet friendly sandals I should look into? Have you ever been serenaded?

May 8, 2023 by suzanne day by day

Dinners This Week and Apparently More Complaining About My Skin

Note: This post has somehow turned into mostly me complaining about my current skin flare-up, so please feel free to skip to the admittedly meager list of dinner ideas at the bottom, if you come here mainly for dinner ideas and not for skin-venting sessions.

I am not eating dairy, on the advice of my acupuncturist. This is her recommendation to help my skin. The dermatologist has yet to call me back, so has not had a chance to weigh in on this suggestion. (I did get a call from the dermatology nurse, though, who told me to discontinue the medication I had been using to treat my rosacea.)

Will the no-dairy thing even work? WHO KNOWS?! But I am at the point where I will try anything. My face got So Much Worse after I posted on Monday. Painful and inflamed and itchy and horrible to look at. I am only putting three things on my skin now: Cetaphil face wash, Cerave moisturizer, and water. And also air, I guess. I am trying Jenny’s suggestion to keep my face cool when I wash it, and I am trying the suggestion of another person in my circle not to get too sweaty (which is impossible, because I am a very sweaty human).

So. No dairy. The big problem is that now I don’t know what to eat. Somehow, dairy has become the main source of protein in my diet. I have been starting the day with a smoothie, made with milk and yogurt, and then eating cottage cheese with lunch or as a snack, and then eating yogurt for dessert. Even the delicious chocolatey lumps have yogurt in them! Now what? (I realize the world is full of non-dairy options, but they are largely unknown to me.) Also, my fridge is FULL of dairy that I bought before I was instructed to avoid it that will now go bad because I’m not eating it.

I made the mistake of discontinuing the medicine on the same day that I stopped eating dairy, so it’s impossible to tell which of those things is helping, or if this flare-up has just run its natural course. Neither is helping A LOT, but my face is slightly better than it was last week. Still not great, Bob, but better.

Okay, on to dinners. This is apparently the time of year (although this happens more than once a year) when I completely forget what food is. Meals? Never heard of ‘em. You say there is a foodstuff known as chicken? How might one prepare and eat such a thing? My husband and I started talking about what to make for dinner tonight on Saturday, because I wanted to have A Plan, and neither of us could think of anything. Neither of us came up with anything. Well, that’s not true. My husband suggested white bean enchilada soup and chicken paprikas, but as both have copious amounts of dairy in them, I had to veto both. I asked him yet again as he was leaving for work this morning and he finally blurted out, “Some sort of meat with broccoli.” Yes, I can work with that.

Should I be consulting my big master list of reliably good meals? Yes, I should. But I’m not, for reasons I don’t fully understand.

Also, this weekend is Mother’s Day, and my husband keeps asking me food-related Mother’s Day questions. Do I want to go out to brunch? (I don’t like brunch, and also the idea of brunch on the brunchiest day of the year sounds AWFUL.) Do I want him to make me some sort of baked good? Yes, but also no. The one thing I want to eat above all other things is a plate of cheese enchiladas with a big, salt-rimmed margarita on the side. That doesn’t exactly jive with the “no dairy” thing, though, so we’ll see.

Dinners for the Week of May 8-14

Oven Roasted Chicken Shawarma with Broccoli: Yes, this sounds good.
20-Minute Chicken Broccoli Stir Fry: Now the only meals I can think of include meat and broccoli.
Cauliflower Gnocchi with Asparagus and Pesto: Maybe with some shrimp? Or chicken?
Fish Tacos: I have been wanting fish tacos lately; now’s as good a time as any. I will not be including the yogurt cream sauce though, which is a bummer. Maybe I will make an avocado/cilantro “sauce” instead.

What’s on your meal plan for the week?

suzanne day by day

the mundane, the magical, and everything in between

non dairy

Six on a Saturday

Seven Things Saturday

Dinners This Week and Apparently More Complaining About My Skin