winter blahs

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Six on a Saturday

Boring But Hopeful Health Updates. I am going to say this very quietly, lest I jinx it: but I think that I can eat yogurt again? I have been avoiding dairy since May (which is not the same as giving it up; I still put half and half in my tea, I eat occasional sour cream and occasionally throw a dollop of yogurt onto stir fries and have had the occasional scoop of ice cream) after my acupuncturist suggested it might be negatively impacting my skin. My dermatologist was receptive to this idea and thought, based on some semi-related studies he’d read, that it could be exacerbating my rosacea. Based on some very non-scientific experimentation, it SEEMED true. There was a week when I ate white bean enchilada soup every day for lunch and my skin freaked out, for instance. And there is milk and yogurt in that soup (it is a fantastic soup), so I blamed the dairy. When I avoid dairy, I am mostly okay. I do also have to use a special face wash, though, so maybe that’s what’s keeping the bulk of the rosacea at bay. My family and I went on a weekend getaway recently and I decided to throw caution to the wind and eat some yogurt for breakfast every day. Nothing happened, skin wise. So when we got home from our mini-vacay, I continued to buy and eat yogurt. I have been doing it for several weeks now and things seem stable??? I am so hopeful about this, because I LOVE yogurt. It is delicious but it is also such a fantastic source of protein, especially since I dislike eggs. 

My usual breakfast of late: SmartLite bread with almond butter and honey, yogurt, and tea.

Now I am whispering so softly my voice is but a rustle: my plantar fasciitis seems like it is under control??? I don’t know what happened or when, but my feet just feel… better??? I am continuing to wear shoes in the house and I do calf stretches every night before bed but… I haven’t been to the acupuncturist in two months and I don’t feel like I need to make another appointment.

Puzzling Gynecological Visit. While we’re on the topic of health, why not discuss my recent visit to the gyn? I did promise Ally some speculum content, but I am immediately going to break that promise because there was no speculum involved. This wasn’t the puzzling part; current gynecological guidelines recommend that most people with a uterus have a pap test every 3 years as part of a screening for cervical cancer, and I’m not due for a pap until next year. However, I was there for my yearly reproductive parts exam. In years past, this has included a pelvic exam, a breast exam, and a discussion of my health concerns. This year, the nurse got me situated in a room and asked if I would be okay having a resident take part in the exam. 

The resident was lovely. Great bedside manner, seemed very knowledgeable about my questions (which were specific to breast cancer and perimenopause). She asked if I needed any prescriptions renewed (yes) and whether I wanted her to order a mammogram for me (yes). But then she finished the talking portion of the visit and said that the exam was optional. What????? OPTIONAL? I didn’t know what to do with that information! Listen, I think we’d be hard pressed to find anyone who ENJOYS a pelvic or breast exam. They are invasive and embarrassing and uncomfortable. But… the exam is the purpose of the annual gynecological well visit! If I just wanted a refill of birth control pills, I could simply call that in! I came to the office specifically so that the doctor could poke and prod my bits and tell me if anything was wrong! 

What I should have said was, “Of course I want an exam, that’s why I’m here.” But I got flustered when the resident gave me the option. Part of me, I think, was a little embarrassed to ask that she examine me. Which is dumb, because that is her job, and, again, WHY I WAS THERE, but I still felt like it was weird to request it, if it was optional. So I said, “Well, what do you recommend?” And instead of saying, “I recommend you get your reproductive parts examined” she said, “It’s up to you.” WHAT?! That is not a recommendation. We hemmed and hawed a little bit, and finally I said something like, “Well, I came here prepared for a physical exam, so I might as well do it.” But the whole thing was weird and awkward. 

And also: WHAT THE HELL? A) Why is the physical exam suddenly optional? And B) What is the point of the annual gynecological exam if there is no exam? The whole experience was baffling. 

Speaking of Perimenopause. A ridiculous spate of hot flashes has had me in a bit of a fret about whether I am beginning perimenopause. Doesn’t seem likely, considering my family history, but who really knows, right? There is a fine line between The Normal Joys of Having a Female Reproductive System and going through The Change. The gynecological resident reassured me, if a little dismissively, that I am too young for perimenopause and then moving along to other topics. Maybe so (although I am 42, so it’s not wildly out of the realm of possibility), but it’s something I want to prepare myself for, so I’m thinking about it now. I am listening to Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause (and How to Feel Like Yourself Again) by Jancee Dunn so it’s top of mind. The book is engagingly written – I like Dunn’s energetic voice and humorous/informative writing style. It seems like she did her research, and there are tons of practical tips for how to address various symptoms of menopause. But the book makes me so uncomfortable! In some cases, the physical discomfort is so severe that I find myself squirming in my car. Dunn is careful to interject, not infrequently, that not every person will experience every symptom, that a lot of people go through menopause with nary a hot flash. But this book covers the whole spectrum of menopause issues, so the whole thing feels REALLY OMINOUS. Yikes.  

Nature Is Healing. This is probably something I should say very quietly, as well, lest I scare it away, but it seems like sriracha is gradually making its way back into the world. Sriracha – specifically Huy Fong sriracha – is my favorite of all condiments. It would be one of my desert island foods, for SURE. I love it so very much. So I have been keeping an eye out for it in the years since its production has dwindled and have built myself a little stockpile. (There was a moment when I got down to one bottle and tried a bunch of alternatives to see if there was something else I could live with. No, there isn’t. So I have gradually replenished my stores.) I’ve almost always been able to get it on Amazon, although there were a few months this past spring when it was unavailable except for ridiculous prices. (Will I pay $17 per 14-ounce bottle? Yes, it turns out, I will, but that’s pretty much my limit.) But then I noticed it was readily available in Asian grocery stores. I made myself a deal that if I saw sriracha on the shelves, I would buy one bottle. That didn’t seem excessive. When I saw sriracha at Wegman’s recently, I bought a bottle. THEN I saw it at Target and bought another bottle. But this week, even my local grocery store had a small supply of sriracha! I did not buy a bottle; hopefully that won’t prove to be a mistake. Anyway. I am really cautiously optimistic about sriracha being BACK because I love it so much. 

I may have a wee bit of an addiction.

Wedding Gift Ideas? My hair stylist just got engaged. We have talked about her wedding for almost the entirety of my past two hair appointments. To be clear, I LOVE talking about weddings and wedding planning and enjoyed this line of conversation THOROUGHLY. Am I hoping that she has a baby immediately after she gets married, so we can talk about pregnancy and then babies and then parenting?! YES, with all my heart. She’s always a delight to talk to, but I much prefer this stuff to the usual “what are you doing this weekend, what kind of travel is coming up this year, what are you watching” kind of chitchat, which is pleasant but requires a lot of effort and doesn’t fuel my soul like wedding and baby talk. 

I have distracted myself. She is getting married and I want to buy her a wedding present. However. While I have a very well-developed generous impulse, I have a more well-developed gift giving anxiety that makes the whole thing gift giving process more complicated than it should be. I have several months to fret over and prepare for and acquire this gift but it would be really nice if I had A Real Idea instead of considering and discarding ideas for months and never buying anything and throwing some cash at her at the last minute. Maybe cash is the best gift! But a) I get the strong impression that her fiancé is loaded so she wants for nothing and b) she has been my hair stylist for several years now and I like her immensely and I would love to get her something more personal. Do I… ask her if she’s registered somewhere? I kind of think no, considering she and her spouse-to-be are established adults and live in a fully stocked house… but maybe? She likes alcohol, music (although her taste in music is very specific), travel, cats, Christmas, football. Maybe I could get her something she could take on her honeymoon? (Which will be to a tropical island type place.) But what would that be? I will see her again at least once before she gets married, so I could presumably ask her pointed questions to dig up additional information.  

HALP.

Persistent Grey. After our bout of snow and cold, we have now returned to abnormally warm temperatures and the persistent grey that weighs so heavily on my soul in the winter time. Yuck. For a few days, the grey seemed intent on inserting itself as forcefully into our lives as possible by way of fog. Fog is eerie and beautiful. But I am so ready to say goodbye to January and get on toward spring. February is my favorite month because it goes so quickly and then it’s practically spring and we can look forward to longer days and blooming flowers and BLUE SKIES. 

My poor photography skills don’t adequately capture how much it felt like being in an (the) Emily Bronte novel.

What’s on your mind this weekend?

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Dinners This Week; Persistent Gloom

I live in a part of the world where the sun rarely shines in the winter, and this winter is doing its level best to shift “rarely” to “NEVER.” Our local paper published an article in early January about how we hadn’t had any clear skies since NOVEMBER, and I think we’ve had only a day or two at best since then.

Yes, I see that sunshine coming up for the weekend. But I will bet anything that it means, like, 30 minutes of sun each day. Don’t get my hopes up, 10-day forecast.

The glimpses of sun are rare and fleeting and I never know how to properly address them. Do I interrupt whatever I’m doing to run outside in the snow and soak up the rays? I have been trying to go outside when the sun peeks out from behind the clouds, but it’s not always convenient and it is also cold, which means adding layers. And by the time I’ve gotten properly mummified the sun is doubtless hidden behind the relentless grey once again. (I do force Carla to go outside, sun or no. She has been doing a lot of work making snowballs and/or pulling ice sheets off our deck and stacking them on the lawn.) Carla and I have started doing an outdoor sport on weekends, together, which forces us both to be active AND outside, no matter what the sun is choosing to do, and that helps, but still: persistent gloom.

Why is it so hard to remember that, as with lack of sleep, lack of sunshine can cause its own dreariness and isn’t necessarily a reflection of How Things Actually Are? (Sheesh, my faulty shift button sure makes it difficult to use as much Emphasis Via Capitalization as I prefer.) Instead of remembering this – even if I just literally reminded myself of this phenomenon a sentence ago – I feel sunk in a gloom so heavy that it feels as though this is how it always was and always will be and I might as well let go and surrender to the abyss or move to Florida which is tied with abyss as far as my personal preferences go.

Even FOOD isn’t helping right now, so you know things are really grim. But we have to eat, yes? So let’s think about some delicious meals that might ignite at least some spark of light amid these unyielding clouds.

Dinners for the Week of January 26-February 1

  • Simple Salmon Bowls: Did we just have salmon bowls last week? Yes, we did. Do I care? No, apparently not.
  • Spicy Miso Chicken Katsu Ramen: When feeling gloomy, add spice.
  • Chicken Tinga Tacos: This one makes me a little nervous because it calls for a can of fire-roasted tomatoes… I am not sure if I should blend them or if I should leave them out. Blending would keep the flavors in the dish, but it would make the tacos much saucier than they should be. But I’m wary of leaving them out entirely because they might be a key ingredient. Choices, choices. 
  • Slow Cooker Lemon Garlic Chicken with steamed broccoli

This “plan just a few meals” thing is freeing, in its way, but also kind of weird. That list above feels so unfinished, and I don’t like leaving loose ends. We also have some steak in the freezer and some bell peppers in the fridge, so a stir fry could be in the offing. We still have not eaten the asparagus, which seems perfectly content in its jars in the fridge. And I have some romaine in the crisper as well, just ready for some sort of salad to spring into being. Takeout is always an option, or there’s always the option of something hearty and mood-boosting, like spaghetti with meat sauce.

How are you staving off the gloom this week, Internet?

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Dinners This Week

 

I feel very blah  this week, in terms of meal planning. It’s so cold. I just want to curl up in a big bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce until spring.

Dinners for the Week of January 29- February 5:

We are rolling over a couple of meals from last week:

Note: I made these veggie quinoa bowls as a side a looooooong time ago. And now I am going to attempt to alter the recipe to make it more My-Family-Friendly for a main course. I’m adding shrimp, which I will probably marinate quickly in some lime juice and garlic and paprika, and I am replacing the broccoli with red and green bell peppers. Also, I am going to increase the amount of quinoa so there’s enough to satisfy my husband’s appetite. Also also, I am not including the peanuts.

Follow Up: Well, even though I amped up the veggie quotient and added shrimp, this still felt like a side dish. A GOOD side dish, don’t get me wrong. But my husband, in particular, didn’t feel like it was hearty enough for dinner. He added a big pile of spinach to his, which made it feel more like a salad. But we discussed how to dinner-size it more for next time and came up with these solutions: 1) We will add avocado and edamame to the salad to make it feel meatier. 2) My husband might also add black beans to his portion, which I rejected because I don’t like cold black beans. (He also suggested adding corn, which doesn’t seem like it would “go,” to me, but maybe I’m being overly rigid.) 3) We will add a small amount of honey to the dressing, which had some bitterness. I used this recipe for the shrimp, which was fine, but not so spectacular I’m rushing to do it again.

And:

Note: This is one of my favorite marinades. Simple and delicious. I will pair it with broccoli.

These are the new meals on the agenda. I am guessing we will end up eating out on Saturday night this week, so I’ve tried not to over-plan.

Note: I’ve made this before, as a side for something else. It was good enough that I want to try it as the main course.

Follow Up: This was good. Definitely a solid stir fry.

Note: This is a brand new recipe. I bet my husband will want some sort of meat as an accompaniment… Maybe I can roast him a chicken breast to add to his portion. And I will probably throw in some bell peppers leftover from the veggie stir fry to give it some color.

Follow Up: I was super suspicious of this, because I had no idea what it would taste like. It didn’t seem like it was inspired by Indian flavors… but it also didn’t seem particularly Thai… After eating it, I’d say it is somewhere in between-ish, maybe a little more on the Thai side. It reminded me a little of Massaman curry, but my husband disagrees. My husband and I had a little debate about the sauce. We both felt there wasn’t enough (and it was DELICIOUS). But I think if you doubled the sauce, it would be TOO saucy. And you can’t do one-and-a-half portions, because you’d be stuck with a half can of coconut milk and I for one don’t want to waste it or measure it out in the first place. So we decided on halving the chickpeas. Chickpeas, it turns out, are VERY high in calories OMG I did not realize that before putting this on the menu. It’s too bad, because I love chickpeas. Often, as with this recipe, I prefer them to meat of any kind. But if you jack up the veggie quotient, I think you won’t even miss the second can of chickpeas. Lower calorie, better sauce distribution: I think that’s how I would modify this in future.

Note: This marinade sounds easy and delicious. I will probably sauté the zucchini with a red onion and some minced garlic.

Note: I am suspicious of this recipe, but I love hamburgers and burgers sound properly festive for eating during the Super Bowl, so we’re going to try them.

Follow Up: THESE WERE SO GOOD. They were super easy, especially because my husband made them. And delicious. I kind of want to eat these every day.

What’s on your menu for the week?