Boring But Hopeful Health Updates. I am going to say this very quietly, lest I jinx it: but I think that I can eat yogurt again? I have been avoiding dairy since May (which is not the same as giving it up; I still put half and half in my tea, I eat occasional sour cream and occasionally throw a dollop of yogurt onto stir fries and have had the occasional scoop of ice cream) after my acupuncturist suggested it might be negatively impacting my skin. My dermatologist was receptive to this idea and thought, based on some semi-related studies he’d read, that it could be exacerbating my rosacea. Based on some very non-scientific experimentation, it SEEMED true. There was a week when I ate white bean enchilada soup every day for lunch and my skin freaked out, for instance. And there is milk and yogurt in that soup (it is a fantastic soup), so I blamed the dairy. When I avoid dairy, I am mostly okay. I do also have to use a special face wash, though, so maybe that’s what’s keeping the bulk of the rosacea at bay. My family and I went on a weekend getaway recently and I decided to throw caution to the wind and eat some yogurt for breakfast every day. Nothing happened, skin wise. So when we got home from our mini-vacay, I continued to buy and eat yogurt. I have been doing it for several weeks now and things seem stable??? I am so hopeful about this, because I LOVE yogurt. It is delicious but it is also such a fantastic source of protein, especially since I dislike eggs.
Now I am whispering so softly my voice is but a rustle: my plantar fasciitis seems like it is under control??? I don’t know what happened or when, but my feet just feel… better??? I am continuing to wear shoes in the house and I do calf stretches every night before bed but… I haven’t been to the acupuncturist in two months and I don’t feel like I need to make another appointment.
Puzzling Gynecological Visit. While we’re on the topic of health, why not discuss my recent visit to the gyn? I did promise Ally some speculum content, but I am immediately going to break that promise because there was no speculum involved. This wasn’t the puzzling part; current gynecological guidelines recommend that most people with a uterus have a pap test every 3 years as part of a screening for cervical cancer, and I’m not due for a pap until next year. However, I was there for my yearly reproductive parts exam. In years past, this has included a pelvic exam, a breast exam, and a discussion of my health concerns. This year, the nurse got me situated in a room and asked if I would be okay having a resident take part in the exam.
The resident was lovely. Great bedside manner, seemed very knowledgeable about my questions (which were specific to breast cancer and perimenopause). She asked if I needed any prescriptions renewed (yes) and whether I wanted her to order a mammogram for me (yes). But then she finished the talking portion of the visit and said that the exam was optional. What????? OPTIONAL? I didn’t know what to do with that information! Listen, I think we’d be hard pressed to find anyone who ENJOYS a pelvic or breast exam. They are invasive and embarrassing and uncomfortable. But… the exam is the purpose of the annual gynecological well visit! If I just wanted a refill of birth control pills, I could simply call that in! I came to the office specifically so that the doctor could poke and prod my bits and tell me if anything was wrong!
What I should have said was, “Of course I want an exam, that’s why I’m here.” But I got flustered when the resident gave me the option. Part of me, I think, was a little embarrassed to ask that she examine me. Which is dumb, because that is her job, and, again, WHY I WAS THERE, but I still felt like it was weird to request it, if it was optional. So I said, “Well, what do you recommend?” And instead of saying, “I recommend you get your reproductive parts examined” she said, “It’s up to you.” WHAT?! That is not a recommendation. We hemmed and hawed a little bit, and finally I said something like, “Well, I came here prepared for a physical exam, so I might as well do it.” But the whole thing was weird and awkward.
And also: WHAT THE HELL? A) Why is the physical exam suddenly optional? And B) What is the point of the annual gynecological exam if there is no exam? The whole experience was baffling.
Speaking of Perimenopause. A ridiculous spate of hot flashes has had me in a bit of a fret about whether I am beginning perimenopause. Doesn’t seem likely, considering my family history, but who really knows, right? There is a fine line between The Normal Joys of Having a Female Reproductive System and going through The Change. The gynecological resident reassured me, if a little dismissively, that I am too young for perimenopause and then moving along to other topics. Maybe so (although I am 42, so it’s not wildly out of the realm of possibility), but it’s something I want to prepare myself for, so I’m thinking about it now. I am listening to Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause (and How to Feel Like Yourself Again) by Jancee Dunn so it’s top of mind. The book is engagingly written – I like Dunn’s energetic voice and humorous/informative writing style. It seems like she did her research, and there are tons of practical tips for how to address various symptoms of menopause. But the book makes me so uncomfortable! In some cases, the physical discomfort is so severe that I find myself squirming in my car. Dunn is careful to interject, not infrequently, that not every person will experience every symptom, that a lot of people go through menopause with nary a hot flash. But this book covers the whole spectrum of menopause issues, so the whole thing feels REALLY OMINOUS. Yikes.
Nature Is Healing. This is probably something I should say very quietly, as well, lest I scare it away, but it seems like sriracha is gradually making its way back into the world. Sriracha – specifically Huy Fong sriracha – is my favorite of all condiments. It would be one of my desert island foods, for SURE. I love it so very much. So I have been keeping an eye out for it in the years since its production has dwindled and have built myself a little stockpile. (There was a moment when I got down to one bottle and tried a bunch of alternatives to see if there was something else I could live with. No, there isn’t. So I have gradually replenished my stores.) I’ve almost always been able to get it on Amazon, although there were a few months this past spring when it was unavailable except for ridiculous prices. (Will I pay $17 per 14-ounce bottle? Yes, it turns out, I will, but that’s pretty much my limit.) But then I noticed it was readily available in Asian grocery stores. I made myself a deal that if I saw sriracha on the shelves, I would buy one bottle. That didn’t seem excessive. When I saw sriracha at Wegman’s recently, I bought a bottle. THEN I saw it at Target and bought another bottle. But this week, even my local grocery store had a small supply of sriracha! I did not buy a bottle; hopefully that won’t prove to be a mistake. Anyway. I am really cautiously optimistic about sriracha being BACK because I love it so much.
Wedding Gift Ideas? My hair stylist just got engaged. We have talked about her wedding for almost the entirety of my past two hair appointments. To be clear, I LOVE talking about weddings and wedding planning and enjoyed this line of conversation THOROUGHLY. Am I hoping that she has a baby immediately after she gets married, so we can talk about pregnancy and then babies and then parenting?! YES, with all my heart. She’s always a delight to talk to, but I much prefer this stuff to the usual “what are you doing this weekend, what kind of travel is coming up this year, what are you watching” kind of chitchat, which is pleasant but requires a lot of effort and doesn’t fuel my soul like wedding and baby talk.
I have distracted myself. She is getting married and I want to buy her a wedding present. However. While I have a very well-developed generous impulse, I have a more well-developed gift giving anxiety that makes the whole thing gift giving process more complicated than it should be. I have several months to fret over and prepare for and acquire this gift but it would be really nice if I had A Real Idea instead of considering and discarding ideas for months and never buying anything and throwing some cash at her at the last minute. Maybe cash is the best gift! But a) I get the strong impression that her fiancé is loaded so she wants for nothing and b) she has been my hair stylist for several years now and I like her immensely and I would love to get her something more personal. Do I… ask her if she’s registered somewhere? I kind of think no, considering she and her spouse-to-be are established adults and live in a fully stocked house… but maybe? She likes alcohol, music (although her taste in music is very specific), travel, cats, Christmas, football. Maybe I could get her something she could take on her honeymoon? (Which will be to a tropical island type place.) But what would that be? I will see her again at least once before she gets married, so I could presumably ask her pointed questions to dig up additional information.
HALP.
Persistent Grey. After our bout of snow and cold, we have now returned to abnormally warm temperatures and the persistent grey that weighs so heavily on my soul in the winter time. Yuck. For a few days, the grey seemed intent on inserting itself as forcefully into our lives as possible by way of fog. Fog is eerie and beautiful. But I am so ready to say goodbye to January and get on toward spring. February is my favorite month because it goes so quickly and then it’s practically spring and we can look forward to longer days and blooming flowers and BLUE SKIES.
What’s on your mind this weekend?
three little thoughts. 1. You can google your hairdresser’s name followed by the word registry and see if anything shows up. (It is how I always find them). 2. What I hear is the perimenopause most often starts 40-44. 3. Like marriage, perimenopause and menopause are different for everyone… from hardly registering to rather complicated. I would encourage you to avoid people who are looking to make money off your angst.
Thanks for the shoutout. Yes, of course, I’ve been waiting with bated breath for this post. 😜 I think it’s odd to not have an exam when you go to a ob/gyn for, stick with me here, an annual exam. However I was told the last time I went that I should only have an annual exam every two years, same for mammograms. Like when did that start being the norm? I thought we were supposed to go every year, lest something lousy happen that could be caught sooner rather than later.
Well, there’s a lot here! First of all, I’m glad to hear your PF is better. For most people (ahem, not me) it does go away after a while- and I’m sure the stretching and shoe wearing you’re doing has helped it. Yay! Also, I’m glad your rosacea is better. Mine was great for MONTHS, then it flared up over Christmas. Hard to say what might have caused that- I really relaxed some of my dietary rules, so it could have been that- also, one day I was out running on a very sunny day, for several hours, and i forgot to wear sunscreen (OOPS.) Was that it? It’s just now calming down again, but it was really bad just in time for the holidays and our Tampa trip, where I was seeing and meeting all sorts of people, sigh… it looked really bad.
ANYWAY, perimenopause. Everyone is so, so different with this. I sailed through menopause with NO SYMPTOMS at all (!!!) Like, I never had a hot flash. But I do think that some other gradual changes were due to menopause, but I didn’t take it seriously at the time. So… I don’t think you should be scared, but it’s good to be prepared. And perimenopause can go on for a long time. For me, my periods got really irregular. Like I would skip a month, then skip a couple months… I was around 51 when I was like “Wait a minute! When was the last time I had a period?” I couldn’t even remember so I figured, correctly, that I was done.
Ugh, that persistent gray… I don’t miss the midwestern winters of my childhood!
Good news! I wish my daughter would take better care of her rosacea. She doesn’t seem to care as much as I would want her to. I don’t remember many issues about perimenopause–a few hot flashes and night sweats. They were unpleasant but not unbearable.
Despite what that resident thinks, yes you can be in perimenopause in your 40’s – same someone who went through it in her 40’s. For me, the only really annoying thing was my period; there was no consistency at all. A few flashes/night sweats; but nothing memorable.
I clearly remember my gyn telling me I only needed an exam every three years; so imagine my shock when I showed up last year – completely unprepared – and was given an exam even though I was certain I’d just had one the year before. But I’ve never been asked if I wanted one or not; so that is odd.
LOL – yes, based on your order dates alone, I’d say you do have a wee bit of an addiction.
I just read an article in the Post about how perimenopause can start earlier than people think.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/01/12/perimenopause-not-feeling-like-myself/
I’m glad your feet are feeling better. That’s big news. Also glad your skin doesn’t mind yogurt. Could be the probiotics in it. They ca have skin benefits.
I feel similarly about the OBGYN. Is this because insurance won’t pay? We have been convinced to have things checked yearly. What changed?
Hooray for eating yogurt again. And for PF to being on the mend. I think you can heal just by doing stretches and wearing shoes. “All credit to my PT husband for my knowledge on this topic.
I wish I had suggestions for the wedding gift. I love my hair stylist. She is already married but we have such fun chats about parenting and the daycare I run. I hope you find something perfect for her.
For the wedding gift, I would give a gift certificate to a great restaurant where you live. That was my favorite gift we received when we got married almost 7 years ago. Household goods are great, too, but I think an experience type of gift is wonderful! We thought of the guests who got us those gift cards when we went on dates!
That is odd that you only saw a resident? Usually there would also be the actual fully board certified physician that would come in next and go through everything again? I am glad you still had your physical and didn’t feel like you should pass on it. I hadn’t heard that they are optional. And if you are having hot flashes it seems like you are perimenpausal? It seems like they could have ran some blood work to check hormone levels? When I saw my doctor, I asked about perimenopause because my cycle is so bizarre. She asked about hot flashes and I said I am not having them and she then said I am not perimenopausal yet.
So I feel like eating yogurt is so different from other types of dairy. So you could be totally fine eating that but having milk, lots of cream, lots of cheese, etc might make your rosacea flare? Yogurt seems to be a special class of dairy! I hope you can continue to eat it without issue!
What Lisa said about a gift cert to a great restaurant or if you know anything more about what kind of alcohol she likes, a nice bottle is always welcome. We had a no-gifts wedding but even so my work got me a gift basket with a “Wifey” and Hubby” mug, chocolate, and a bottle of champagne. Another friend gave us a bottle of champagne as well. Another idea, if she uses Airbnb when she travels a gift card for them might be good since they don’t have a loyalty program.
Getting improvement from cutting back dairy is great! I always wonder when people say to stop eating such and such if it’s really necessary to eliminate it or if cutting back is just as good. If I had to I could go without cheese, but dammit I’m not giving up half and half in my coffee!
If sriracha is back then sambal oelek must be back as well! I’ll keep an eye out.
Glad you are feeling better on the skin and PF fronts! Its great that you are reading up about perimenopause. Information is power as they say. I went through menopause early, by 41. Apparently it runs in the family – something I didn’t know until my sister and I both went through it early. My periods started to slow down about 5 years before menopause. They gradually became more spaced out. Hot flashes, especially at night, were the other main symptom. I learned to wear layers – t-shirt under a sweater, etc. – so I could strip down when I got hot.
I’m glad your rosacea is calmed down, that is great news! Same with the PF. I have gotten it in the past, and key for me is good support in my shoes, and not going barefoot.
My sister had cervical cancer, and 3 of my friends have had breast cancer, so I ask for everything every time. My doctor told me specifically that I did not need a pap, and I said, I’m sure you’re right, but it would make me feel better. My insurance still paid for it, probably due to ACA, but maybe it was my family history.
I was on the pill during menopause, and that really mitigated the symptoms for me. My other sister (not the one that had cancer) had a HORRIBLE time of it, and eventually went on the pill to manage her symptoms.
Thanks for the heads up on the sriracha, I will keep my eyes open on that.
I agree that a gift certificate to a nice restaurant would be a great wedding gift.
I love the picture of the foggy field. Lovely.
Oh wow have you been with me on my gyn appointment earlier this month? Seriously I had to pay for exams I should have gotten through my insurance. I had the Pap test done even though I don’t have a uterus anymore. I guess I need to brush up on my knowledge in order not to be taken advantage of. Also I had to remind for the breast exam. And let’s just say there was blood involved when I was done – and no it wasn’t menstrual blood. Definitely won’t be going there anymore.
i am always amazed that 50% of the population have to fight or be well educated to get a proper exam. I really start to get p***ed by it.
My questions regarding perimenopause where also just slightly brushed away saying its not yet time and I will get hot flashes. Well thank you for nothing. Sigh.
I got so invested in the gyn exam story, in utter agreement with you on every point, that I found I was hugely relieved when you found a way to say YES DO THE EXAM. I think in your shoes I might not have been able to come up with a way to say it in time. And as you say, WHY WOULD YOU BE THERE OTHERWISE? I do not want options of this sort, at that stage. I want the option to be at the point when I am deciding whether or not to make an appointment, and after that I want things to go along without Sudden Decisions To Make.
I too have been quietly and calmly buying The Correct Sriracha as I see it appearing again. The first time I saw it, there were six bottles at my grocery store, which is a very sparse number on the available shelf space, and I bought two bottles. That is a lie because I feel bad: I bought three. And I did feel I should really have bought only one, to save some for others. And I felt guilty-but-glad about it (MY bottles, MIIIIIIINNNNNNE) until I was there a week later and there was a whole DISPLAY of sriracha, like a hundred bottles or more, at which point I felt (1) relieved (other people can have their sriracha, even though I took half lat time) and (2) even sillier (I did not need to take three bottles when there were going to be so many more). BUT WHO CAN TELL??? WHAT IF THERE HAD NOT BEEN MORE FOR LIKE, A YEAR?? And it has been a long hard road without the right kind of sriracha. I have tried maybe half a dozen other kinds and none of them are in any way what I want. I am now up to I think six bottles in my stash, and I believe I am going to keep buying bottles until I have, say, a dozen in storage, because it turns out this is one of my crucial foods, which is not something I realized until it was unavailable.
I would either google the stylist’s name to see if there’s a registry, or I would ask her about a registry, or I would get her some booze and put it in a pretty reusable canvas bottle bag from a store like HomeGoods.
P.S. My absolute favorite nurse-practitioner at the OB/GYN, who has sadly since retired, told me that perimenopause typically lasts about ten years, ending with menopause. So if she is correct, it would be super normal and reasonable to have perimenopausal symptoms in the early 40s.
I also agree that a favourite restaurant gift card is a great wedding gift idea!
I really need to get a PAP done; I can’t remember how long it has been, so that means it has been too long. I had an ablation last year and I wish they had just, you know, scraped my cervix while they were scraping everything else but they didn’t. Le sigh. I am not a fan of PAP tests but needs must.
I love that foggy picture. So moody. But agreed about January. I’m just not really much of a fan.
I was initially aghast at the OPTIONAL part of the exam, and decided to do some digging to find the official guidelines of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Lo and behold, here’s what they say (sorry for the novel but I thought each component was necessary to fully understand their stance):
“A limited number of studies have evaluated the benefits and harms of a screening pelvic examination for detection of ovarian cancer, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis, and genital herpes. Data from these studies are inadequate to support a recommendation for or against performing a routine screening pelvic examination among asymptomatic, nonpregnant women who are not at increased risk of any specific gynecologic condition. Data on its effectiveness for screening for other gynecologic conditions are lacking.
Women with current or a history of cervical dysplasia, gynecologic malignancy, or in utero diethylstilbestrol exposure should be screened and managed according to guidelines specific to those gynecologic conditions.
After reviewing risks and benefits, the pelvic examination also may be performed if a woman expresses a preference for the examination.
Regardless of whether a pelvic examination is performed, a woman should see her obstetrician–gynecologist at least once a year for well-woman care.” (link here: https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2018/10/the-utility-of-and-indications-for-routine-pelvic-examination)
That being said, I think the resident should have clearly explained the rationale as above, rather than just saying “it’s up to you!”. In my practice (internal medicine, but we don’t do pelvic exams/Paps), I sometimes encounter a similar situation where someone has a rectal complaint and just from their description I know I’m going to be referring them to a colorectal specialist regardless of what their exam shows, so I do give them an option but I never want to make it seem like *I* don’t want to examine them. I’ve tried out a few different phrases but seem to have the most success by saying, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to do an exam so we can be sure of what’s going on.” If they are extremely reticent then we can defer it. Some people do ask what I think, and I say that it’s always better to do the exam if they feel comfortable with it, but of course it’s their right to decline it if they don’t. The notion of shared decision making is huge in medicine right now, and I think it’s a good shift, but you as the patient have to be INFORMED first before you can be expected to make a reasonable decision and it’s the health care provider’s job to inform you!
Also, perimenopause can sure as heck start in your early 40s, especially if your mother went through menopause “early” (average age in the US is 51). It’s most commonly identified within 5 years of menopause but symptoms can start up to 10 years before menopause for some women.
Anyway, sorry for the ridiculously long comment. I’m so glad your plantar fasciitis has improved and your skin is tolerating a bit more dairy!!
My go-to wedding gift (if not buying off a registry) is a very nice picture frame. They can be pricy (or not) so this can be a gift all by itself or attach a gift card (Target-ish) for other household gifts the couple might need. I was got married long ago when physical photos were still in style and I feel like it helps to prompt people to frame an actual wedding picture instead of keeping things all digital nowadays.
For the hairdresser, I would just google her name and if you know the hubby’s even just the first, plus gift registry, you should find out what they want. Then if you can’t you can move to plan B.
For the Pap, I thought the exam was still annual, but the cancer screening part was now only three years. At least that is how my gyno does it and I just went in December! That is so strange that yours gave you an option.
Hot flashes here, too. And NO PERIOD for MONTHS. Perimenopause is super weird and makes me so anxious because I am used to being regular. And also anxiety is a symptom LOL.
Girl, you are speaking my language with this perimenopause talk. I am a little older than you at 44 and things seem very different. I just sent in one of those Women’s Health Tests from Everly to check my hormones and maybe give me some answers? I do think it’s weird to get the breast exam when I get my yearly mammogram anyway, unless they were spaced out 6 months apart so I felt like the exam was worth it, otherwise no thanks, I would opt out there. I love February too! But I think it’s because our birthdays are in that month that makes it more loveable!
I’ve requested that book from the library, thank you: I just started having hot flashes a few months ago, at age 55, and I have a gyn appointment in April, so it’s like homework, knowing what to talk to her about that might be related to menopause. It seems like so many things “might” be! I was probably in perimenopause the past few years, at least, but being on birth control (aka period control) for as long as they would give it to me makes it less obvious. But I’m in it now, by whatever the definition of “it” is.
Can you snoop around wedding registries for common places (Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Crate & Barrel, Macy’s, Amazon, etc.?) and see if you can find a registry? I’ve been somewhat successful with that in the past.
I’ll be the voice of dissent that I don’t want any food related gifts ever. Food is SO FRAUGHT and my husband and I have a gift certificate that someone gave us as a housewarming present SEVEN YEARS AGO that gives both of us anxiety. Unless you know her and her future husband’s food issues, steer far away from food and alcohol as gifts. Sorry, other commenters. This is a hill I will die on.
I also really like to get newlyweds a personalized return address stamp with their new address and/or names on it. They’re really inexpensive on Etsy and are something that people will actually use. I’m guessing you do not have the sort of relationship with your stylist in which you know if she’s going to change her name or what her home address is, but I’m putting it out there. ANOTHER idea for something meaningful is a personalized Christmas ornament with their wedding date on it or a “our first Christmas” theme. Again, relatively inexpensive on Etsy.
I had that question asked to me as well, about a pelvic exam. I was like, hell to the yeah I want you to stick a speculum up my vag and swirl the giant Q-tip around. Why else am I here? Just so you can talk to me about my general health? FUCK THAT, MAKE ME SCOOTCH DOWN A LITTLE, LET US NOT WASTE TIME.
I’d ask if she was registered anywhere! It has been a loooooooong time since anyone I knew got married, so I assume people still register for things? I mean, who can say. And if you know her well enough to know if she likes, say, red wine (SPEAKING FOR MYSELF) then a nice bottle is lovely.
I will be 49 in a few months and I’ve been hot flashing for a while now. How long? Who can say. This would be good info to have. But I think I can reliably say I’ve been in the peri for a while now. My mom was fully done with Auntie Flo by age 52, and peri can last UP TO A DECADE so maybe I was like 42? Or maybe I’m just thinking that way. Anyway, my hot flashes are wayyyy worse when I drink aforementioned red wine, but these are the choices I make, my friend. These are the choices I make.
Oh! I just reread and I see your stylist likes alcohol. Maybe a fancy bottle of gin? Or COCONUT TEQUILA. That shit is off the rails.
I swear I’m not drunk typing this, just very very very tired. Due to a 3-hour jet lag (is that a thing) plus getting in late last night I HAD FIVE HOURS OF SLEEP and I almost typed OURS instead of HOURS so I better sign off.
I’ve never had a gyn exam where the pelvic exam was optional! Isn’t that the whole point?? I’d just go to my GP if I wanted to talk about myself, lol. I have an appointment at the end of Feb, so I’ll be interested if the same thing happens to me!
I love that you want to give your hair stylist a wedding gift! I think Lisa’s suggestion of a gift card to a local restaurant is a great idea!
That photo is ABUNDANTLY Bronte-like and evocative.
Yogurt again is exciting! I have yogurt for breakfast every single day, and I would be really sad if I had to stop.
Yeah, that gyno thing is annoying. I have to give you an engraved invitation to peer into my reproductive cavity? Isn’t that, like, your JOB?
I hate when I know someone well enough to want to get them a really nice gift but not well enough to know what that gift should BE.
Well yes, what is the point of a well women exam when they actually don’t do a physical exam?
Let me tell you, it also seems to be dependent on where you go… I was very used to having regular pelvic and breast exams back in Germany. Nobody enjoys it, but it was something I was used to and expected and – to be completely honest – I saw a male doctor and it was absolutely ok and normal for me.
When I came to the US, I was surprised to find that physical exams were mostly optional unless there was like a specific concern. I was very taken aback when I was given the choice, like you, because I didn’t know I had one…. and honestly I didn’t want a choice either. I wanted to get it over with and feel good about having another check-up done.
I do hope you can eat yogurt again (yay! I love yogurt) and also that your plantar fasciitis is easing up!
Woo hoo! I hope you can continue to have yogurt and that your PF behaves! Those are both great news!
Okay that gyno visit is BIZARRO. Why not just do it on the phone?! Weird!!!!
I know exactly what you mean about connecting with your stylist about real things instead of the trivial chit chat that is actually a lot of work. I do a lot of that kind of talk and get the “fuel my soul” talk so rarely that I really appreciate it. And you should totally ask if she has a registry!