It is now somehow March. With a new month, apparently, come new and disturbing things to occupy our collective attention.
I am extremely thankful that February has had, as its companion, Elisabeth’s latest exercise in finding gratitude each day. It has been a gift to feel obligated to focus my mind on the big and little joys that surround me. Thank you so much, Elisabeth, for leading this practice in tracking the glimmers of light even on dark days.
This past week was a birthday week, and since many of the things that made this week’s gratitude list are birthday-related, I’m going to deviate from how I’ve tracked them. Instead of going day by day, I’m just going to make a big list.
Sunshine!: We’ve had more sunshine than not this week, and I’ve loved it! Spring feels like it is trying extra hard to burst forth into our lives and I appreciate the effort.
This is a photo from a few weeks ago because somehow I didn’t take a single outdoor photo all week.
Lunch with Mom and Dad: I got to go out to lunch with my parents, which is always so lovely. Having them nearby is something I do not take for granted, and I am so glad they enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs. After lunch, my mom and I went for a little stroll in the sunshine. Wonderful.
Baking Projects: I did a bunch of baking this week, which is always enjoyable. My attempt at lemon bars was a bit of a flop (I forgot the salt entirely and then I’m pretty sure I underbaked the crust), but! I did make a delicious loaf of perfect sandwich bread from scratch. And I transformed a pair of extremely past-their-prime bananas into a snack cake that my kid and her friend gobbled right up.
Sleepover: The kids were off school on Friday again (don’t want them to have too many five-day weeks!), so my kiddo had one of her closest friends stay the night. We went out to dinner, then grabbed ice cream, and the girls had a wild time watching movies and giggling and staying up way too late. Even though the noise grates on me, I am so grateful that my daughter has this friendship in her life.
Birthday Cat: My kitty turned one, and it was fun to celebrate him. He brings me more joy than I ever could have imagined, and I am grateful for him every day.
Such a distinguished gentleman.
Checking Off an Onerous Task: My car was due for a checkup, which I *hate* doing, for so many reasons. The experience was comically awful, but now it’s DONE, and I don’t have to get a checkup for a long time!
Long Distance Love: I got so many cards and texts and phone calls for my birthday, it was staggering. I feel so very lucky to have so many wonderful, kind, caring people in my life.
Mexican Food and Margaritas: My husband wanted to know if he should make reservations at a steak house for my birthday, but you know what? I wanted mediocre Mexican takeout and margaritas from a bottle. That’s what I got and hoo boy, was delicious.
Flowers!: My back-home best friend sent me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers!!!! Lenny of course had to inspect them (and taste a leaf immediately, which is why I can only buy cat-safe foliage; he threw it up later which was super fun for all of us) before I moved them to one of the few cat-safe spaces in our home.
Call Week Perspective: Call weeks remind me how grateful I am for all the weeks my husband is not on call.
Tea!: My parents gave me an extremely generous check to use on something frivolous, which I am looking forward to spending. Since my mom likes to have something for me to unwrap, she also gave me two tins of looseleaf tea that sound fun and delicious, and a little tea strainer that looks like a leaf!
Clean Sheets: While my kid and her friend slept in, I laundered all the bedding. I just LOVE slipping into a fresh, clean bed at night. It’s a small thing, but it brings me pleasure.
Books!: My husband got me a stack of great books to read, along with a couple of other gifts. He knows me so well; these books all sound fabulous and I can’t wait to dive in.
Surgical Success: A beloved family member had surgery this week, and – even though we don’t yet have the results – the procedure itself went smoothly and the family member is doing great.
Yoga Nudge:Julie has invited everyone in blogland to join her, virtually, for yoga practice every Saturday. I finally got my rear in gear and managed to do this video – which was all about slow, intentional poses with lots of deep breathing and mindful exploration of gratitude. I hated every minute of it. But, as with many things that are both difficult and worthwhile, I am so glad I stuck with it. Forcing myself to slow down, mentally and physically, is something I struggle to do, and long after the video ended I was enveloped in a sense of serene calm. Oh right; this is why we’re supposed to try things that we don’t normally do, and to push outside our comfort zones once in awhile. I am grateful for that reminder, and grateful to Julie for facilitating it!
Long Distance Friends, Again: On my birthday, I got a call from a friend I haven’t seen in seven years. This is one of my favorite people in the world, and I really don’t know why we lost touch – I want to blame children and careers and time zones, but I really need to just look harder at how I can make connecting with him more of a priority. Anyway, he called me and asked where I was, and I told him. Since it was kind of an odd question, I asked where he was, figuring he was in Europe or on a ski hill somewhere. But no, he was IN MY TOWN. He ended up coming over for dinner that night and spending time reminiscing with me and my husband and catching us up on what’s been going on since we last saw him. It was so incredibly special, and I don’t think I can adequately express how grateful I am that we were able to get together.
New Rug: We finally finally ordered a new rug to replace the IKEA rug that’s been under our kitchen table for fourteen years. For the most part, I still like it. But it has become a tripping hazard and Lenny likes to hide hair ties underneath it, which is making the problem worse. We haven’t managed to remove the new rug from its package yet (see above re: Call week), but it’s HERE and I’m excited!
Forty-Five: Even though forty-five feels startlingly old, somehow, I am grateful for this birthday and for every birthday I get to have. Growing older is, a lot of the time, a pain in the ass, but above all, it is a gift.
The thick envelope on top of the yellow package contains my colonoscopy instructions. Woot.
Many thanks to Elisabeth for leading another month of the FIG Collective.
Oh hi. Yes, we did go to Paris several weeks ago and I am only just now getting around to posting about it. We had a terrific trip and I am still basking in the glow of what really couldn’t have been a more perfect vacation.
If you are looking for gorgeous photos of Paris sites, please refer to Elisabeth’s blog; she was in Paris right before we arrived, and in fact overlapped with us for one day, during which I got to meet her and her family in person!!!! (As with every blogger I’ve had the luck to meet in person or via zoom, she is both exactly like she is on her blog and also somehow more delightful and more beautiful offline.)
If you’re looking for some hot tips about what was good and what wasn’t good about our visit, you are in the right place. Below, I’ve lined up my landslides and letdowns.
Woot! Woot!s
My husband. Oh my goodness, my husband is a ROCKSTAR. He planned the entire trip, securing our plane, train, and Metro tickets; finding a hotel; researching when and how to obtain entry to the sites we wanted to see; planning day trips and booking travel to and from each city; creating an itinerary that hit all our must-sees without overloading us; securing tickets at the ideal times on the ideal days for each site; figuring out what to do about cell phone service while we were in Europe; and then getting us to each place in the most efficient and pleasant way possible each day. It was so much work and I did none of it. All I had to do during the planning stages was occasionally weigh in on things, suggest potential activities, and offer moral support. All I had to do during the trip itself was show up. It was fabulous. I don’t think I could ever have come up with such a well-planned vacation on my own. Oh also: his French is leaps and bounds ahead of mine, and at one restaurant, the server asked us where we were from. (I find this a difficult question to answer, by the way. I feel like we wear our Americanness like a glaring red-white-and-blue baseball jersey. I always want to respond with the name of our state, but my husband always simply says, “We’re from the United States.” That does seem to do the trick.) When he told this server we were from the States, she shook her head in disbelief and said, “But your French is so good! Your pronunciation is excellent.” Way to go, husband!
On the train!
Carla. You guys, Carla was a superstar traveler. From the instant we left the house to the moment we returned to the States, she was excited, curious, eager, and game for anything. She loved all the museums we visited. She enthusiastically listened to a (quite long and somewhat boring) audio tour of Chateau de Fontainebleau. She put in 7 to 10 miles of walking, from about 7:00 am to 10:00 pm (on average), for eight consecutive days. She ate (some of the) food. She went into every church and cathedral I wanted to peek inside. We had occasional mother/daughter conflicts, but beyond that, she did not whine or complain at all and in fact seemed delighted by and interested in everything we saw. (With the possible exception of the churches. She was into them when we were inside, but when we expressed interest in yet another church, she voted against going in.) I want to go on all the trips with her. (She has suggested Australia as our next big vacation; my husband and I are less enthusiastic, simply because of the lengthy plane ride.)
AirFrance. We flew AirFrance to and from Paris, and it was a fabulous airline. My husband found a ridiculously good deal on premium economy seats, and I was all set for American-style premium economy, as in, economy seating with slightly more leg room. But no! AirFrance premium economy is just a step below Business Class! We got to hang out in the AirFrance lounge before our flight. We got priority access to the security line and priority boarding. We got pillows and blankets and cute little dopp kits each way, we got Champagne just after each takeoff. We had nice roomy seats that lay back. It was one of the best flying experiences I’ve ever had.
Our Louvre Tour Guide. We decided that we wanted a tour guide for the Louvre, because a) it’s so big and overwhelming, and b) we wanted to skip the line. My husband found a tour company online (don’t ask me how; he did a ton of research) who offered a three hour “Louvre highlights” tour with a maximum of six people. Our guide was so sweet and knowledgeable. He showed us a great mix of the heavy hitters (the Mona Lisa, the Winged Victory, the Venus de Milo, and others) and less popular but still impressive paintings and sculptures. Then Carla wanted to explore more of the Egyptian wing, which we’d glimpsed at the beginning of the tour, and we found a few other things my husband and I were interested in seeing, and then we were done. We got to skip the long lines to get into the museum, we got to see a nice mix of artwork, and we didn’t get overwhelmed or lost. I would totally do a guided tour again.
Strasbourg. One of our day trips was to Strasbourg, and oh, what a charming city! We had uncharacteristically sunny warm weather, and had a wonderful time seeing the cathedral and exploring the city via a Rick Steves guided walk. We stopped for an outdoor lunch alongside a canal where I had the most delicious spaetzle with mushrooms paired with a crisp and summery local Riesling.
The Eiffel Tower. My husband and I were happy to take Carla to the Eiffel Tower, because it was her top priority for the trip. But he and I wouldn’t have gone without her. I wasn’t exactly dreading it, but I wasn’t looking forward to it either. (By the way, if you want to skip the big line without paying ridiculously overpriced fees for a “skip the line guide,” you have to get tickets exactly 60 days in advance, at midnight Paris time. I am very grateful to my husband for figuring this out and staying up to get the tickets!) Carla wanted to go all the way to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and I’m not a huge fan of heights, and I already did the Eiffel Tower a million years ago with my high school French class. But oh was it ever worth it! I should have known by now that an experience completely transforms when I see it through Carla’s eyes. She was excited and quite nervous about the height and yet so determined to make it work. We had perfect weather, we had glorious views, and Carla loved it. The Eiffel Tower wowed again when we saw it from the top of the Arc de Triomphe at night. At dusk, the whole tower lights up, but then it also sparkles every hour on the hour for about five minutes. My husband took a video of the instant the sparkle started and he caught Carla’s face when she saw it and it was priceless. One of those moments I think I will remember forever. I hope she remembers it too.
Art!: I have had the immense privilege of visiting the Louvre, the Musee d’Orsay, the Pompidou Centre, and many other art museums in Paris and around the world. This trip, we went to the Louvre and the Musee d’Orsay and I kind of expected the experience to feel a little “same old, same old.” But it wasn’t. I found the museums so moving. Some of the art we saw was three thousand years old! Can you imagine? That people so separate from us in time and manner and lifestyle felt the same drive to create? That other people saw these creations and deemed them valuable enough to save, over millennia? That still other people erected buildings for the sole purpose of housing these works? That millions of people flock to monuments to art to see these ancient and modern creations to this day? It feels so precious and human, this desire to create, to translate experience and emotion into marble or paint so that someone else might know it too.
Our Hotel. We picked our hotel purely because it had a separate but connected room for Carla. The rooms were massive for Paris, giving us plenty of privacy. We each had a mini fridge that the staff refilled with complementary waters and sodas and juice each day. The beds were comfy, the rooms were pretty quiet. The showers had very decent water pressure, and very minimal temperature issues. The staff were friendly and helpful and the hotel and surrounding neighborhood felt safe. We were within easy walking distance of several Metro stops. The main floor of the hotel doubled as a breakfast restaurant, and we were able to use the tables and microwave in the restaurant space on the evenings we didn’t make it out to dinner. It wasn’t fancy and it wasn’t right in the middle of all the Paris action, but it was comfortable and spacious and suited our needs perfectly.
Paris Fashion. While I was arrayed in stereotypical American Middle Aged Mom Wear, I got to admire all the extremely fashionable Parisiennes strolling around the city. The in-style, insofar as I can tell, is something along the lines of wide-legged jeans paired with an ankle-skimming black trench coat. The coats have belts, but are rarely worn belted. I did not see a specific single type of footwear – there was everything from heels to boots to sneakers. I do think the sneakers were mainly white; I didn’t see a lot of bright colors. Hairstyles, as in the US, seem to veer toward the long and lightly wavy. Everyone was impossibly chic, which I suppose is de rigueur for Paris. I would have gladly sat at an outdoor café all day long, watching all the beautiful people live their lives.
Rick Steves. I would be remiss not to give a shoutout to good ol’ Ricky, who provided many restaurant recommendations, pinpointed bathroom opportunities, suggested multiple points of interest, and created interesting, detailed walks for us to follow.
Womp Womps
Bruxelles. None of us had ever been to Belgium before, and Brussels is within my range of acceptability for day trips (two hours), so we decided to go. I had no preconceptions, and I’m kind of glad because I fear it would have been a disappointment. On the pros side, our train trip was easy, we had good weather, and the city is beautiful. On the cons side, I have never been to a busier, more crowded place in all my life. There is an adorable main square in the old town and it was crammed with people. CRAMMED. Everywhere was jammed with tourists. Even though our surroundings were lovely, I felt overstimulated and panicky and overwhelmed. I felt like I couldn’t let go of Carla for an instant, or she would be swept away by a tide of tourists. Even when we left the old town to explore some of the area up-hill, there were still crowds and crowds of people. The touristy sites weren’t particularly noteworthy, either. I mean, the Grand Place was impressive, but the Manneken Pis was tiny and dressed in a firefighter costume, the Royal Quarter was under construction, Jeanneke Pis was tucked into the end of a narrow alley full of drunk college students, the Atomium was too far away for us to visit during our quick visit, and the local food was both stressful and disappointing. I’m glad I’ve been there, but I can’t say I enjoyed it very much at all. The best part was probably the random cat we met, hanging out and accepting pets outside a restaurant. I know it was a highlight for Carla. Not just of Brussels, but of the entire trip.
My Skin. The combination of traveling, eating a bunch of restaurant meals, and spending all day walking and sweating was not kind to my face. I had horrible breakouts pretty much every day.
eSIM. My husband and I decided that it made the most sense for him to pay the daily rate ($12, I think?) to maintain his regular phone service while we were in Europe. He had to be available in case of urgent work issues, plus he had all the details of the trip on his phone and he is hands down the better photographer. But we also decided that I would get an eSIM while we were away. It’s hard to remember why, now, because it turned out to be so useless. I think partly because we wanted to have a French phone number for Carla to keep on her person in case she got separated from us. In any event, it sucked. I had horrible service almost the entire time. It kept cutting in and out and even when it worked, websites took forever to load, if they ever did. We did use it twice, to make dinner reservations. (I called a French restaurant and made the reservation myself, in French!) But other than that, it was a waste of money.
WiFi. Our hotel supposedly had WiFi, but it was both patchy and horrible. By this I mean that it was nearly inoperable the entire time I was there – I could not connect to the internet pretty much at all. On the rare occasion when my phone would show a few bars of connectivity, and I would connect to a blog or my email or a news story, it would quickly cut out. Some i-messages worked, but not all; WhatsApp worked occasionally. I could not send photos via text. Between the eSIM and the WiFi, I was usually able to jot out a quick email to my parents about our day, but that was all. I lost my Wordle streak. Oh well. I didn’t really miss my phone, except I would have liked to keep up with everyone’s blogs better. I still feel very behind!
When I weigh the highs against the lows, the highs win by a landslide. It was a wonderful vacation and I feel so grateful that we were able to make it happen, and that everything went so smoothly. (Once again, a major shout out to my husband for ensuring that our experience was so effortless and fun!)
You may notice that I haven’t talked much about the food. Don’t worry (or, perhaps, do?): I am planning a whole post about the food wins and losses of the trip.
Even when everything is awful, I have so much to be grateful for. Thank you to Elisabeth for driving that point home for me this past month, with her F.I.G. Collective.
Saturday, February 22: My husband and I undertook a very tedious house project I have been wanting to do since we moved in. (Going through all the paint in our basement, removing the paint that we will never need to the garage where we can let it dry out and then finally dispose of it, and moving the heavy, hideous shelving units on which the paint has been living so I can clean behind it. It was AWFUL, and it’s done, and I am very thankful I don’t have to think about it anymore.
Sunday, February 23: A very lovely friend has arranged an adventure for the two of us, as a birthday gift, and I am so touched by her generosity and also excited to see her. (We have an earlier adventure planned, which I am looking forward to as well. One adventure is food-focused and the other is book-focused, and I think you know food and books are two of my favorite things.) Sunday also came with a bonus dinner out with my parents. They took us to a restaurant we’d never been to before: I had delicious filet mignon and shared a scrumptious crème brûlée with my husband and kid, and the company and conversation were a balm against my (our collective???) current uptick in anxiety.
Monday, February 24: My local writing friend and I went for a nice long walk, during which we discussed all the non-writing concerns and triumphs in our lives, and then we headed to my house to write. I started our writing session doing exactly what I have promised myself I won’t do, which is rereading old chapters and editing them as I go. This story, as every story seems wont to do, has meandered away from where I originally thought it was going, so some of the early chapters are just plain wrong. It feels impossible to leave them like that! And yet this is some of the quicksand in which I get deeply and irretrievably stuck: I keep rewriting and rewriting and never finish the writing portion of the story, which, as you might agree, is pretty crucial. My friend and I checked in with each other after our designated sprint, and I admitted to her what I’d been doing, and she very gently and very kindly asked me if I could make a choice to leave those old chapters alone and write something new. It was a very simple suggestion, and a technique I am familiar with from parenting, and my initial reaction was resistance. But she looked at me without judgment and I looked at her, and I thought, okay, yes, I can do this. I can go back to the other chapters once this draft is done. And I ended up writing nearly 3,000 new words in new chapters. I feel like I am not conveying properly how kind and also freeing her suggestion was. I feel so grateful to have her as a friend and as a writing partner.
Tuesday, February 25: After my stellar writing day on Monday, I had time to make cupcakes. And I was very grateful on Tuesday to have fresh cupcakes to eat. But my main source of gratitude Tuesday was spending the afternoon with my parents. My dad I hung out and talked about finances and politics and health. My mom and I looked at her latest paintings. The three of us watched at least a dozen squirrels tear around the lawn and one of their trees. Then we went for a walk and ended up at the woodshop where my dad showed me his latest carpentry project. I hope I never take for granted that I can just pop over to their house and chat with them for a few hours. I hope we have many, many afternoons just like that in our future. Okay, maybe my time with my parents is tied for top spot, because I spent the evening with my husband and kid. My husband picked up the kiddo from school, which is always a treat for me (and for both of them), and then they picked up Mediterranean takeout for dinner, which we ate together around the table. It has historically been very difficult for the three of us to eat dinner together, but my husband and I are making more of an effort to make it happen, and I love it every time.
Wednesday, February 26: This was a hair washing day, and I was for once excited to wash my hair because – YOU GUYS – my husband got me the dryer/straightener of my dreams. It is truly magical. I have straightened my kid’s relentlessly wavy hair twice so far, and my own twice as well, and I love it so very much. Moreso than my gratitude for the hair dryer itself: I am deeply touched that my husband a) heard me when I was discussing the various merits and disadvantages of replacement hair dryers and b) that he would be on board with such an extravagance and c) that he would buy it FOR me as a surprise. (I hope this doesn’t sound too much like “I like my husband because he gets me fancy gifts” – I’m more thankful for the deliberate thoughtfulness. I trust you understand.)
Thursday, February 27: Engie emailed me to tell me that one of my all-time favorite books is going to be a movie! She and I agreed that the star – a Great Dane named Bing – is reason enough to watch the movie.
Friday, February 28: I am delighted that the month, the week, and my FIG collection efforts are all ending on the same day! So fun when things line up like that. I am also grateful for the penguin photos I keep getting from a friend who is in Antarctica right now. Nothing brightens a day quite like getting a text and finding out it’s another photo of PENGUINS.
This exercise of gratitude has been worthwhile, necessary, and more difficult than I anticipated. I have so much good in my life, and I don’t know why it can be so hard sometimes to find the glimmers amid the darkness. I strive to be more like Nicole, and devote regular time to giving thanks for the things I take for granted every day: clean water, electricity, abundant food, good health, a roof over my head, a safe place to walk, a loving family, wonderful friends. If this month has taught me anything, achieving that goal takes – like anything worthwhile – effort.
Thank you, Elisabeth, for leading this practice of gratitude. Thank you to everyone who participated, and whose FIGs brightened many of my days all month long.
