the kitten

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Seven-ish for Saturday

Oh hey, it’s the middle of May and this is only the second time I’m posting this month.

Summer Scheduling Success

Finally, finally, I think I have summer figured out. By my calculations, Carla has approximately 20 days of summer that are currently void of Established Plans, and they are mainly spread out – two days here, three days there – with only two full weeks that she has nothing. Those two weeks are spread out, too – one in June and one in July – so we’re not talking endless consecutive days of fighting boredom and negotiating screen time. Will this be enough? No idea. But I feel much better about our summer schedule than I had. All that’s left to do is a) fill out and submit all the eight bazillion forms each camp requires, b) buy all the things that each camp requires Carla to have, and c) figure out how to fill the remaining twenty days. (Swimming? Horseback riding lessons? Dog walking? Friend gatherings?) That’s something for Near Future Suzanne to deal with, I think.

Roof Repair Roundup

Apparently I am going for an alliterative subhead thing. A large portion of my days, lately, have been spent trying to navigate my roof replacement. Our insurance company was very prompt about sending out an insurance adjuster to review our property damage, and very quick to cut us a check. Our contractor has been very responsive in addressing questions and in reaching out to the insurance company for supplemental coverage. My brain is inundated with terms I sort of but don’t 100% understand, like soffits and ridge caps and fascia and flashings. I am grasping to understand exactly what the contractor is saying, and hoping that the insurance company gives us the money he requires to do the work he needs to do. (Like, apparently you need to disconnect the soffits or maybe the fascia or possibly both from the top plank of siding if you replace or repair the siding, but the insurance hasn’t offered any coverage for that, even though they have offered coverage for the siding itself. That kind of thing.)

I pored over an eleven (11) page review of my insurance policy and the replacement cost estimate, I pored over a thirty-eight (38) (THIRTY-EIGHT) page quote and contract from the contractor, which seemed mostly clear and reasonable, except for a couple of things that apparently don’t apply to us because of reasons. And there was a whole list of potential upgrades that we don’t need unless the insurance company decides against things like “covering the disconnecting and replacement of soffits and/or fascia” in which case we will then need to decide whether to spend an additional $XXXX of our own money. And then there is something called a “punchlist,” which I now know is a list, at the end of the project, of things are incomplete or need to be readdressed, like scratches made by a tool during construction, or a half-finished something-or-other. And we need to somehow figure out how to schedule the repairs/replacements so that they don’t coincide with or overlap our summer travel. And are we going to have a port-a-potty on our lawn/driveway for weeks on end? Let’s leave all this for Future Suzanne to deal with. Man, is she going to be pissy with me.

Another Absurd Trigger of (Truly) Trivial Obsession

My husband and I got a new scale. It’s a “smart” scale. It has an app. And it measures more than just weight. Supposedly it also monitors things like your muscle mass and body fat percentage. (Supposedly it monitors these things less accurately than one would hope; my husband suggests we use it to observe trends rather than to give us exact numbers.) I am interested in maintaining and increasing my muscle mass as I age. I am also interested in seeing if my kiddo can increase her muscle mass – a recommendation from her coach. I am quite excited about the pet feature. I mean, it’s just a way to weigh your pet without doing mental math. But as I am constantly fretting about whether I’m feeding Lenny enough or too much, I am pretty pumped.

The scale collects all this information about you, via some sort of magical (electrical) currents that travel through your feet, and beams the data to the app on your phone. I know so much about technology. Then you can read all sorts of interesting slash mystifying metrics about yourself.

The one that I keep thinking about is my metabolic age. I have never once thought about my metabolic age, nor do I really know what it is beyond a hazy semi-understanding. But now that we have the scale, I’m thinking about it. My metabolic age is 44. I am 45. This seems positive, right? The scale thinks I am younger than I am.

Here’s the thing. My husband’s metabolic age is 43. He is not only also 45, he is half a year older than I am. SO HOW COME HIS METABOLIC AGE IS LOWER THAN MINE?!

Obviously I am now obsessed with pressing questions like, can I reduce my metabolic age? If so, HOW? And by HOW MUCH?

Possibly I need to sideline my extreme spousal competitiveness and find out what metabolic age means and if it matters.

Colonoscopy Complete!

This week I undertook my first-ever colonoscopy. I was, as some of us are, a wee bit anxious about the whole thing. The only bad part was drinking the prep. The rest of it was fine. Well, the anxiety wasn’t great, but it was preferable to drinking the prep.

A ton of different bowel prep options exist, from a giant jug of GoLYTELY to 24 enormous SUTAB pills and everything in between, what a time to be alive, and each gastroenterologist has her preference, not to mention health insurance companies only cover certain options. (That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for a different prep if you, too, have a preference.) I now have an anti-preference. My GI prescribed SUPREP, which is the only prep my insurance covers. (I don’t know why all the bowel preps have names that scream at you.) It comes in two little six-ounce bottles. I needed to mix one bottle with ten ounces of cool water at 6:00 the evening before my procedure, and drink it before 7:00. While also drinking two additional 16-ounce glasses of water. Then I needed to repeat the prep and additional water intake again five hours before my procedure. The SUPREP was ABSOLUTELY FOUL. It was salty and forcefully bitter with a very faint citrus flavor. I tried mixing the first batch with a bit of lemon-lime Gatorade powder; this was a bad idea. I will never drink lemon-lime Gatorade again, that’s for sure. I tried plugging my nose while I drank it, but that didn’t really disguise the taste (although that particular trick has never worked for me). I tried drinking it through a straw, which is supposed to bypass the tastebuds on your tongue, but I found it to be even worse. I tried adding ice to the glass, but – as my husband cautioned – that just increased the amount of awfulness I had to get down. What worked was taking two giant gulps, while plugging my nose, then following those gulps up with as much ice-cold pure fresh tasteless water as I needed. Still, by the end of the second bottle of SUPREP, I was struggling not to gag.

Let’s back up a little, because I know you want More Detail about my colonoscopy prep. I was anxious about the procedure because I have a family history of colon cancer (grandmother and great-grandmother) and polyps (parents), but also because the procedure took place within my husband’s hospital system and among people he knows and works with. Consequently, I felt that I had to be The Best Patient, or, at least, A Model Patient. So I did a pre-prep two days before my procedure (seven capsful of Miralax in 32 ounces of red Gatorade). The Miralax, which is supposed to dissolve completely in liquid, made the Gatorade slightly viscous and gave it a very very mild but noticeable Miralax flavor. Is that flavor something I can characterize more descriptively? No, it is not. It was gross, but I would drink ten bottles of Miralax-flavored Gatorade before I would do SUPREP again. This was in addition to starting a low-fiber/low-residue diet (no nuts, seeds, of fresh fruits or veggies, limited high-fat foods) four days prior to my colonoscopy, and a day of clear liquids the day before the procedure.

“That sounds excessive,” my friend noted, when I told her my Miralax-flavored plans. Perhaps. But I will say that the nurses and techs were all chatting about their own colonoscopies, and every one of them did some sort of extra prep on top of what’s required. (The concern is that your colon won’t be clean enough for the GI to see what they need to see, and you’ll have to come back… after doing the prep AGAIN. Shudder. Obviously, this is not an issue for most people, and I am not advocating that YOU do additional prep, unless you, too, are partially insane. And even in that case, please consult a doctor, which I am not, before you do anything.)

On a personal note, I think the additional measures helped make my prep easier (and less disruptive; I slept just fine both nights) while also ensuring that my colon was pristine for my procedure. You might be thinking, no one gets a GRADE for colonoscopy prep, Suzanne, and you would be right. But also, my post-procedure summary includes the glorious phrase “the quality of the bowel preparation was excellent.”

Oh and also I had no polyps, thank everything, next colonoscopy in ten years, which of course is much more important than getting an A+ on my prep.

Imagining the Ideal Instruction Manual

When I made my colonoscopy appointment back in February, my doctor put in an order for the SUPREP, which I picked up from my pharmacy. I also received a packet of instructions from the gastroenterologist. A thick packet, with many pages of instructions. Listen, it was fine! Helpful, even. And yet, it could bear some improvement. Some of the instructions were in all caps. Some of them were highlighted. Some were in bullet points. Some of them were vague. Some of them directly contradicted the instructions on the Suprep box. There were lists of prohibited foods/drinks; there were some lists of foods/drinks that were allowable; none of the lists were in any way comprehensive.

As I’ve spent the past twenty-odd years writing and editing things, I’ve been thinking a lot more than is healthy about how I might improve upon this packet.

The major problem I see is attention span vs quantity of information. As any writing professional knows, people don’t read. The fewer words the better. The clearer the better. (Sometimes those two dictates are in opposition.) And yet the gastroenterologist needs to convey quite a lot of complex information, and there’s not a great way to get all of it across to the patient. (I also got two phone calls in advance of my colonoscopy, but they conveyed both less and different information than the packet did.)

As a patient, I think I would like the packet to contain these things:

1. How to prepare for the colonoscopy. Like I said, the packet from my doctor directly contradicted some of the instructions on the Suprep box. The box, for instance, said I could eat a light breakfast the day before the procedure; my doctor said NO DO NOT DO THAT. The box said orange and grapefruit juices were among the “clear” liquids I could drink; my doctor said NOPE. So I think I want to know right away, right up front, that I should ignore the box. (This was one of the highlighted, all caps sentences on the front of the packet I received, but there were several other highlighted, all caps sentences on the front, so I could have easily downplayed its importance or missed it entirely.) I think I might like to know that there are many prep options, and that I should focus on these instructions because they are specific to my prep, and not listen to my cousin who didn’t have to do a single day of low-fiber eating and who thought his prep wasn’t half bad. I think I might like some strategies for getting enough calories and protein (even bone broth only has around 45 calories and 10 grams of protein per cup), and not making oneself queasy with too much sugar. It might also be nice to have a little calendar that lays out Day 1 through Day of Procedure with brief bullets about what to do each day (“Day 1: low-residue diet; see pgs 2-3”).

2. What to expect from the colonoscopy. Before the procedure, first the nurse and then the anesthesiologist both talked to me about what would happen, but I always like to know that stuff well in advance. Like, you will need an IV. You will have to change into a gown and those little grippy socks. You will need to arrive an hour before the procedure, the procedure itself should take around thirty minutes, and you will require about thirty minutes in recovery afterward. It might be nice to know a teeny bit about the procedure itself (“the doctor will introduce a flexible tube into your large intestine; she may use water to flush your colon as examines the lining; she will attempt to remove any polyps she finds; you will be sedated the whole time”). I’d like to know that the GI will come in and give you your results right then; that might affect who I would bring with me as a driver. I’d like to know that I might feel tired for X hours after the procedure, or that the anesthesia might make my stomach a little more sensitive to greasy foods than normal.

3. A more-or-less complete list of prohibited / allowed foods and drinks. The packet I received had some lists, but they were slightly confusing. Like, on the low-fiber/low-residue diet, you shouldn’t eat fruits and veggies, but you could eat canned or frozen fruits and veggies? What? As far as I can tell, the real issue is FIBER, so, like, an apple without the skin is okay, mango is okay, but strawberries are not okay. (I did not ask about bananas.) Tomatoes are prohibited but tomato paste is okay. Cooked onions are okay, shredded fresh basil is not. On the “clear liquids only” day, green and yellow and orange Gatorade/Kool-Aid/Jell-O/popsicles are fine; red or purple or blue are not. Black coffee or tea are also fine. No milk or non-dairy creamers, though. (But what about coconut milk? Or almond milk? No idea.) Sugar and sweetener are fine in your coffee or tea, even though they aren’t liquids. (I put honey in my tea without even asking, am such a rebel.)

My husband and I discussed that the existing lists kind of leave patients to make their own judgment calls, which I’m sure can have varying results. The internet says that sucking on hard candies during your clear-liquids day is totally acceptable, and I feel like it probably is; it’s just sugar! But I might also think it’s okay to chew gum in the waiting room before my colonoscopy, since that’s neither food nor liquid… but it ISN’T okay. Other patients may read the lists and think those are the ONLY restrictions/allowances. A friend, before her colonoscopy a few months ago, was worried about drinking her own homemade chicken stock, because she uses celery and garlic and onion to make the stock, and celery and garlic and onion were not on the list of allowable foods.  

4. Other Important Things to keep in mind. This might include which medications you can and cannot take the day of your procedure, and that you literally cannot take even a sip of water in the three hours before your colonoscopy or they will delay your procedure, and that you can wear a bra under your surgical gown as long as it doesn’t have an underwire, and you should avoid applying lotion the day of your procedure, and that yes you really do need a driver who will wait there with you and drive you home, and that you CANNOT CHEW GUM the day of your procedure.

It might also be nice to know what to do if, say, you vomit up half of your prep. Does that mean you have to start again? Or what to do if you have a medication you take at a specific time that needs to be taken with food. I am sure there is a whole host of FAQs that gastroenterologists field on the regular that would be useful to include.

I know a packet of information that a decent percentage of patients aren’t even going to glance at cannot possibly address every eventuality. And, of course, people successfully undergo colonoscopies every day, even without all these details. But I know there are others who are as anxious and rule-abiding as I am who would really appreciate a thorough and well-organized document.

Car-Trip Compromise

My husband and I are in ongoing negotiations about our summer road trip. We have agreed on one thing and one thing only, which is the location of our First Major Stop. From there, we will make a circle to return to our starting place. But which way will the circle go? We could drive West, to a big city my husband has never visited before. We could drive East, through the mountains, and, importantly, through my best friend’s city. This is really a choice between urban and rural, city experiences vs unspoiled landscapes. It feels like a choice between him and me, our very essences, and – while both of us are being very careful and tactful when laying out our pros and cons for each option – neither of us seems willing to budge an inch. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? I am guessing that we will end up going the urban route. My husband is much more excited about that option, and our first stop – during which I hope to see another of MY friends – was my idea in the first place. I suppose I shouldn’t get to determine everything about our trip, even if I want to.

Pussy Cat Palate Cleanser

After my whole losing-the-pole-toy-behind-the-bookcase disaster, I have been storing Lenny’s new pole toys on the second shelf of my bookcases. He knows this. And he has spent a lot of time this week trying to get to them.

He has also spent some time trying out poses for the cover of Classical Cat magazine.

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Seven for Sunday

It is now somehow March. With a new month, apparently, come new and disturbing things to occupy our collective attention.

I am extremely thankful that February has had, as its companion, Elisabeth’s latest exercise in finding gratitude each day. It has been a gift to feel obligated to focus my mind on the big and little joys that surround me. Thank you so much, Elisabeth, for leading this practice in tracking the glimmers of light even on dark days.

This past week was a birthday week, and since many of the things that made this week’s gratitude list are birthday-related, I’m going to deviate from how I’ve tracked them. Instead of going day by day, I’m just going to make a big list.

  • Sunshine!: We’ve had more sunshine than not this week, and I’ve loved it! Spring feels like it is trying extra hard to burst forth into our lives and I appreciate the effort.
This is a photo from a few weeks ago because somehow I didn’t take a single outdoor photo all week.
  • Lunch with Mom and Dad: I got to go out to lunch with my parents, which is always so lovely. Having them nearby is something I do not take for granted, and I am so glad they enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs. After lunch, my mom and I went for a little stroll in the sunshine. Wonderful.
  • Baking Projects: I did a bunch of baking this week, which is always enjoyable. My attempt at lemon bars was a bit of a flop (I forgot the salt entirely and then I’m pretty sure I underbaked the crust), but! I did make a delicious loaf of perfect sandwich bread from scratch. And I transformed a pair of extremely past-their-prime bananas into a snack cake that my kid and her friend gobbled right up.
  • Sleepover: The kids were off school on Friday again (don’t want them to have too many five-day weeks!), so my kiddo had one of her closest friends stay the night. We went out to dinner, then grabbed ice cream, and the girls had a wild time watching movies and giggling and staying up way too late. Even though the noise grates on me, I am so grateful that my daughter has this friendship in her life.
  • Birthday Cat: My kitty turned one, and it was fun to celebrate him. He brings me more joy than I ever could have imagined, and I am grateful for him every day.
Such a distinguished gentleman.
  • Checking Off an Onerous Task: My car was due for a checkup, which I *hate* doing, for so many reasons. The experience was comically awful, but now it’s DONE, and I don’t have to get a checkup for a long time!
  • Long Distance Love: I got so many cards and texts and phone calls for my birthday, it was staggering. I feel so very lucky to have so many wonderful, kind, caring people in my life.
  • Mexican Food and Margaritas: My husband wanted to know if he should make reservations at a steak house for my birthday, but you know what? I wanted mediocre Mexican takeout and margaritas from a bottle. That’s what I got and hoo boy, was delicious.
  • Flowers!: My back-home best friend sent me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers!!!! Lenny of course had to inspect them (and taste a leaf immediately, which is why I can only buy cat-safe foliage; he threw it up later which was super fun for all of us) before I moved them to one of the few cat-safe spaces in our home.
  • Call Week Perspective: Call weeks remind me how grateful I am for all the weeks my husband is not on call.
  • Tea!: My parents gave me an extremely generous check to use on something frivolous, which I am looking forward to spending. Since my mom likes to have something for me to unwrap, she also gave me two tins of looseleaf tea that sound fun and delicious, and a little tea strainer that looks like a leaf!
  • Clean Sheets: While my kid and her friend slept in, I laundered all the bedding. I just LOVE slipping into a fresh, clean bed at night. It’s a small thing, but it brings me pleasure.
  • Books!: My husband got me a stack of great books to read, along with a couple of other gifts. He knows me so well; these books all sound fabulous and I can’t wait to dive in.

  • Surgical Success: A beloved family member had surgery this week, and – even though we don’t yet have the results – the procedure itself went smoothly and the family member is doing great.
  • Yoga Nudge: Julie has invited everyone in blogland to join her, virtually, for yoga practice every Saturday. I finally got my rear in gear and managed to do this video – which was all about slow, intentional poses with lots of deep breathing and mindful exploration of gratitude. I hated every minute of it. But, as with many things that are both difficult and worthwhile, I am so glad I stuck with it. Forcing myself to slow down, mentally and physically, is something I struggle to do, and long after the video ended I was enveloped in a sense of serene calm. Oh right; this is why we’re supposed to try things that we don’t normally do, and to push outside our comfort zones once in awhile. I am grateful for that reminder, and grateful to Julie for facilitating it!
  • Long Distance Friends, Again: On my birthday, I got a call from a friend I haven’t seen in seven years. This is one of my favorite people in the world, and I really don’t know why we lost touch – I want to blame children and careers and time zones, but I really need to just look harder at how I can make connecting with him more of a priority. Anyway, he called me and asked where I was, and I told him. Since it was kind of an odd question, I asked where he was, figuring he was in Europe or on a ski hill somewhere. But no, he was IN MY TOWN. He ended up coming over for dinner that night and spending time reminiscing with me and my husband and catching us up on what’s been going on since we last saw him. It was so incredibly special, and I don’t think I can adequately express how grateful I am that we were able to get together.
  • New Rug: We finally finally ordered a new rug to replace the IKEA rug that’s been under our kitchen table for fourteen years. For the most part, I still like it. But it has become a tripping hazard and Lenny likes to hide hair ties underneath it, which is making the problem worse. We haven’t managed to remove the new rug from its package yet (see above re: Call week), but it’s HERE and I’m excited!
  • Forty-Five: Even though forty-five feels startlingly old, somehow, I am grateful for this birthday and for every birthday I get to have. Growing older is, a lot of the time, a pain in the ass, but above all, it is a gift.
The thick envelope on top of the yellow package contains my colonoscopy instructions. Woot.

Many thanks to Elisabeth for leading another month of the FIG Collective.

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Cat Questions

Did you know that my tiny baby kitten is now an enormous ADULT CAT?


Because he is a fancy hypoallergenic purebred cat, we know the exact date of his birthday, and it was this past week.

We got him a hat and a bandana, neither of which he enjoyed. But he seems to feel quite dapper in the bowtie.

We got him a present. He LOVES it.

In his honor, I thought I would devote a post to some pressing cat questions. Questions that you have asked about this particular cat, and questions I have about cat parenting.

Is this cat’s name Lenny or Leo?

The answer to this question is yes. Okay, that’s not helpful. The real answer is, his name is Leo in my household and at the vet, but his name is Lenny in my heart. I lobbied so hard to call him Lenny, but I was overruled by my husband and child. Thus, he goes by Leo at home (Or Leo-cat. Or Mr. Fluffy Pants.). But I feel so much glee that so many blog readers continue to refer to him as Lenny.  It is a delight that my much-longed-for name persists here in the digital world. Julie, in particular, reminds me that she thinks of Lenny Kravitz, and that brings me a lot of joy because I am pretty my cat thinks that his human form would bear strong resemblance to this:

In my opinion, he often shares more similarities with this other beloved if fictional Lenny:

Do you really bathe your cat?

I have mentioned several times that I bathe my cat, and this is often met with perplexity. Cats are, after all, self-cleaning. My cat demonstrates his own personal grooming activities multiple times per day, sometimes in a slightly insulting manner right after one of us has pet him.

Nonetheless, I bathe him approximately once a month, using water and original Dawn. I do this for three reasons, in no particular priority: 1. To get/keep him accustomed to being bathed, so that it isn’t traumatic to either of us. 2. To address occasional hygienic issues that affect the pantaloons area. 3. To manage the tendency of his fur to become, over time, slightly greasy – a result of his diet or, more likely, the incessant petting by hands that may or may not have food residue on them.

I used to bathe him in the bathtub, but it hurts my back. So I have begun to give him a shower. He doesn’t seem to mind the water. I hold him and the only time he seems slightly perturbed is when I lather him. He lets me know he is perturbed by gently increasing his grip on my shoulders and mewing plaintively a few times.

He is obsessed with the shower. Loves to get in it, loves to catch drips from the shower head, loves to lie outside of it on the bath math, loves to chase water droplets on the shower doors.


I blow dry him with a hair dryer that I prop up on books and point at where I am holding him on my lap and combing him. He seems to enjoy that part of the process. This system works, but it’s not ideal. Sometimes I daydream about getting a fancy pet blow dryer, like this one. There’s also this drying box that is WAY too expensive but that doesn’t stop me from looking at it. This one is more in my price range, and it’s also a brush.

Now I have some questions for you.

Where does all the FUR come from?

Lenny is a Siberian, and he has luxurious medium-length fur. I brush him at least once daily. AT LEAST ONCE. I vacuum at least once daily as well. And yet, every time I turn around, or every time the cat moves from one location to another, a tumbleweed of fur trundles lackadaisically across the floor. HOW? And also WHY?

The cat breeder warned me that Lenny would have two shedding seasons each year: spring and then fall. So far, neither season has ended. Shedding season appears to take place all year long. I do not like it.

Is there a special brush I should be using? I have two combs and this brush (which Leo does not like) and there are too many options for me to choose from; I find it overwhelming.

How much should I be feeding the cat?

As a reader of this blog, you are well aware of how much I fret about feeding my human child, right? Well, I worry about the cat’s food intake EVEN MORE. I find the entire feeding situation completely impossible. Everything I read (and also the cat breeder) said that we should give our cat both wet and dry food. Wet because his breed and/or sex has a propensity for developing crystals in the urinary tract, which can be dangerous and potentially fatal; the extra moisture in the wet food helps ensure he stays hydrated, which is one way to prevent the crystals from forming. Dry because it can help his teeth stay strong, and also because you can leave dry food out longer than you can the wet food.

Severely malnourished and also STARVING.


All the food containers say how much you should be giving your cat. There are tons of websites that offer guidance about how many calories a cat should consume, based on age and weight and indoor/outdoor status. And yet I still feel like I have NO IDEA. Sometimes he will scarf down a whole can of food. Other times he will barely nibble at it. Some days I go to refill his dry food and it’s all gone, other days he has hardly touched it. Sometimes he shows a clear preference for one flavor of cat food over another. Other days, he will turn up his nose at his favorite flavor or gobble up the entire plate of his least preferred flavor. He seems to have regular bathroom habits. He seems to be active and happy. He seems to be a fine weight and shape. Is he getting enough calories or not? Is he malnourished? Is he overweight? Does he need more flavor variety? Does he need less flavor variety? Am I leaving out too much dry food?

What do cat owners REALLY DO about the litter box?

The litter we use says 1) fill clean, dry litter box with 3” to 4” of litter; 2) scoop waste twice daily and refill box as necessary; and 3) replace entire box once a month. The litter website also says that we should replace the entire litter box every six to twelve months.

Is this what we’re doing, cat owners? Are we cleaning out and replacing all the litter every month? Are we replacing the entire litter box every six to twelve months, and, if so, is that only plastic litter boxes (which is what we have) or does that apply to stainless steel ones as well? I “scooped waste twice daily” for the first couple of months, but the cat tends to fulfill the majority of his litter box needs at night, so it seemed pointless and now I do it once a day.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

My particular cat has not been very vocal. His mews have been few and far between. The most regular vocalization he has is when he welcomes us home. He sits on the kitchen side of the closed laundry room door and when we open it, he stretches and greets us with a little “mrmrmr!” Although… he does seem to be exercising his voice more frequently now that he’s getting older. It’s still rare enough, though, that any time he mews, his humans will react with extreme sympathy: “What buddy? What is it? Are you okay?” Sometimes it seems like he’s asking where we are. Sometimes it seems like he’s expressing a complaint. But most of the time, I have no idea what he’s trying to tell me.

What I am trying to tell you is of UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

Is this like having a human child, who starts out with grunts and then moves on to babbling and then to words or word-stand-ins? Will I eventually understand exactly what he wants, or are we always destined to stare uncomprehendingly into one another’s eyes?

Why are your pants so fluffy?!?!

A question for the ages.

I really hope you have some answers, Internet. But please share any cat questions – about my specific cat or cats in general – as well. I certainly won’t be able to answer an of them, but I would of course fret easily about any and all things that haven’t yet caught my attention.