Even when everything is awful, I have so much to be grateful for. Thank you to Elisabeth for driving that point home for me this past month, with her F.I.G. Collective.
Saturday, February 22: My husband and I undertook a very tedious house project I have been wanting to do since we moved in. (Going through all the paint in our basement, removing the paint that we will never need to the garage where we can let it dry out and then finally dispose of it, and moving the heavy, hideous shelving units on which the paint has been living so I can clean behind it. It was AWFUL, and it’s done, and I am very thankful I don’t have to think about it anymore.
Sunday, February 23: A very lovely friend has arranged an adventure for the two of us, as a birthday gift, and I am so touched by her generosity and also excited to see her. (We have an earlier adventure planned, which I am looking forward to as well. One adventure is food-focused and the other is book-focused, and I think you know food and books are two of my favorite things.) Sunday also came with a bonus dinner out with my parents. They took us to a restaurant we’d never been to before: I had delicious filet mignon and shared a scrumptious crème brûlée with my husband and kid, and the company and conversation were a balm against my (our collective???) current uptick in anxiety.
Monday, February 24: My local writing friend and I went for a nice long walk, during which we discussed all the non-writing concerns and triumphs in our lives, and then we headed to my house to write. I started our writing session doing exactly what I have promised myself I won’t do, which is rereading old chapters and editing them as I go. This story, as every story seems wont to do, has meandered away from where I originally thought it was going, so some of the early chapters are just plain wrong. It feels impossible to leave them like that! And yet this is some of the quicksand in which I get deeply and irretrievably stuck: I keep rewriting and rewriting and never finish the writing portion of the story, which, as you might agree, is pretty crucial. My friend and I checked in with each other after our designated sprint, and I admitted to her what I’d been doing, and she very gently and very kindly asked me if I could make a choice to leave those old chapters alone and write something new. It was a very simple suggestion, and a technique I am familiar with from parenting, and my initial reaction was resistance. But she looked at me without judgment and I looked at her, and I thought, okay, yes, I can do this. I can go back to the other chapters once this draft is done. And I ended up writing nearly 3,000 new words in new chapters. I feel like I am not conveying properly how kind and also freeing her suggestion was. I feel so grateful to have her as a friend and as a writing partner.
Tuesday, February 25: After my stellar writing day on Monday, I had time to make cupcakes. And I was very grateful on Tuesday to have fresh cupcakes to eat. But my main source of gratitude Tuesday was spending the afternoon with my parents. My dad I hung out and talked about finances and politics and health. My mom and I looked at her latest paintings. The three of us watched at least a dozen squirrels tear around the lawn and one of their trees. Then we went for a walk and ended up at the woodshop where my dad showed me his latest carpentry project. I hope I never take for granted that I can just pop over to their house and chat with them for a few hours. I hope we have many, many afternoons just like that in our future. Okay, maybe my time with my parents is tied for top spot, because I spent the evening with my husband and kid. My husband picked up the kiddo from school, which is always a treat for me (and for both of them), and then they picked up Mediterranean takeout for dinner, which we ate together around the table. It has historically been very difficult for the three of us to eat dinner together, but my husband and I are making more of an effort to make it happen, and I love it every time.
Wednesday, February 26: This was a hair washing day, and I was for once excited to wash my hair because – YOU GUYS – my husband got me the dryer/straightener of my dreams. It is truly magical. I have straightened my kid’s relentlessly wavy hair twice so far, and my own twice as well, and I love it so very much. Moreso than my gratitude for the hair dryer itself: I am deeply touched that my husband a) heard me when I was discussing the various merits and disadvantages of replacement hair dryers and b) that he would be on board with such an extravagance and c) that he would buy it FOR me as a surprise. (I hope this doesn’t sound too much like “I like my husband because he gets me fancy gifts” – I’m more thankful for the deliberate thoughtfulness. I trust you understand.)
Thursday, February 27: Engie emailed me to tell me that one of my all-time favorite books is going to be a movie! She and I agreed that the star – a Great Dane named Bing – is reason enough to watch the movie.
Friday, February 28: I am delighted that the month, the week, and my FIG collection efforts are all ending on the same day! So fun when things line up like that. I am also grateful for the penguin photos I keep getting from a friend who is in Antarctica right now. Nothing brightens a day quite like getting a text and finding out it’s another photo of PENGUINS.
This exercise of gratitude has been worthwhile, necessary, and more difficult than I anticipated. I have so much good in my life, and I don’t know why it can be so hard sometimes to find the glimmers amid the darkness. I strive to be more like Nicole, and devote regular time to giving thanks for the things I take for granted every day: clean water, electricity, abundant food, good health, a roof over my head, a safe place to walk, a loving family, wonderful friends. If this month has taught me anything, achieving that goal takes – like anything worthwhile – effort.
Thank you, Elisabeth, for leading this practice of gratitude. Thank you to everyone who participated, and whose FIGs brightened many of my days all month long.
What a lovely gift from your husband! It’s something you wanted and yet practical also. I’d never heard of that book and it sounds intriguing although I’m not generally a fan of stream of consciousness type writing. I’m glad your friend talked you past the editing and into the writing! Sometimes we just need a gentle nudge.
Oh, I SO understand about the hair dryer from your husband! How wonderful. I felt similarly when my husband got me the ice making machine.
I will happily be forced by you to read that book, and I’m intrigued by that alternate blog which I had not seen before.
I was wondering about the writing dates – if they were kind of like parallel play but with writing, or if there was discussion, etc. Very interesting. I’ve always thought of writing as a very solitary thing, and this kind of blows my mind.
Cupcakes! A week with cupcakes is a good one. Known fact.
I’m not familiar with the book being made into a movie, but I know I’m going to like it. It looked cute.
I am so grateful for YOU, my friend! You just warmed my heart so much.
Oooohhhhh going back to old chapters can be such quicksand. It’s so easy to drown doing that! I’m glad you just soldiered on. You can always change the chapters LATER, after the draft is done. Or that’s how I feel anyway.
Cupcakes, an amazing hair dryer, MEDITERRANEAN FOOD!!! All of this sounds brilliant!
So you linked to 3 or 4 hairdryers/straighteners in your post, which one did you get? Was it the first one, the Dyson? I know my daughter has LOVED her Shark and DryBar, so I know the concept is a really good one.
I didn’t know you had another blog! And I haven’t heard of that book. I am going to see if I can get it from the library. Do you think audiobook would be a good format, or better to have a physical copy?
Yes, I also need to know exactly which dryer/straightener it is!
Your husband wins all the gold stars for being so thoughtful and his follow through!!
Yay for cupcakes!
I love how many of your F.I.G.s revolved around spending time with people you love. That is definitely always a highlight!
And definitely kudos to your husband for listening and getting you a gift that you truly enjoy (it’s not about the monetary value, but the thoughtfulness!).
FIG definitely brightened up February!
Yay to your Hubs for geting the straightener/dryer! This sounds like something that the Hubs and I are good about doing for each other when we sense that the other is being too cheap. Yay also for writing friends who help you get from the editing swamp to writing another 3,000 words.
It’s a BIG deal when a favorite book gets made into a movie. Hopefully they will be true to the book. If this is the same book that I’m thinking of, I’ve heard very good things but also that it’s very sad.
Steak, Mediterranean takeout, and cupcakes!!! Nom nom!
I am delighted for you that your parents live nearby now and that you are enjoying time with them. Your time spent with them sounds so relaxing. The effort to get dinners together and the fact that that is happening more often also sounds wonderful. Filet mignon is my fav meal out. Plus cupcakes and a husband who pays attention. Wow. Good stuff. I love the writing feedback and how great it is that you opted to switch gears and make so much progress. Really awesome and I’m so happy for you.
You know I am in the same “boat” with you on having parents nearby. Mine move close to my home for 4 months each winter and I never tire of the joy of having them spontaneously stop by to say hello. They come for supper most Monday nights and then my parents take our daughter to her drama class. We’re within walking distance, so that same daughter will often walk to their place to get a cookie and rant about middle school. I don’t know how appreciates those visits more! My parents just love having that one-on-one time with grandkids. VERY special and something I try very, very hard not to take for granted.
You got your hair dryer! I think I am going to put the Revlon option on my birthday wish list. I was going to buy it for myself last week but thought I might as well wait a few months and that will give my husband something specific to get for me. I am curious what brand it was your husband ended up getting? I know from the price point it WASN’T the Revlon, but I will do some more research before I send my husband links 🙂
Fresh cupcakes. YES PLEASE.
Also, isn’t the satisfaction of finishing up a dreaded home task just marvellous?
All the mellow time with your parents is gold… I love how much you are enjoying it (and it’s making me miss my own :)!
Dinners at the table were important while we were growing up so I tried to do the same with my kids–somehow, you have conversations you’d otherwise never have when everyone is seated at the table together…
The hair tool gift is just the sweetest thing!
Nice week of FIGs! Yes, even in these trying times there really is so much good in our lives- why is it so hard to see that??? Elisabeth really did an amazing thing when she created her FIG Collective.
The time with your parents is priceless. I’m so glad they live nearby and you’re able to appreciate the time you spend with them. And- writing, cupcakes, family dinners… it sounds like a pretty great week.
It does feel good to finish a household task you’ve been dreading. And congrats on breaking through the writing logjam.
I would really like to live close to my mom, but she’s on the other side of the country.
The hair dryer/straightener has to be the most thoughtful gift ever! I’m impressed!
It sounds like you had a good month of FIGS and got lots of things accomplished – and had cupcakes! Perfect!!
All of this is lovely. Also! I think I am the only person I know who washes my hair every day.
I do too! I’m amazed when people don’t – I exercise every day and my hair and body need a shower, what do others do about the sweat/smell when they don’t wash their hair? Very intriguing!
Happy belated Birthday! It is so sweet that your husbund surprised you with the fancy dryer/straightener! It does not sound materialistic to mention this. It’s a very thoughtful thing for him to do, and we often need other’s buy in to purchase something a bit extravagant. But think of the cost/use!! Yay for you!
If I run or do an intense workout, I absolutely need to shower and wash my hair. Otherwise I can go up to 3 days without washing my hair. But it does not look great by that 3rd day!
Ahem – HUSBAND!! Sheesh. I can’t even blame talk to text for that since I typed it out myself!