Oh hello there! It’s been too long! Like, really too long. Thank you so much to everyone who has written a sweet note or text or blog comment checking in. I feel very loved, and I’m so sorry if I caused you any worry.
I’m also a little embarrassed, to be honest. Because there is NO REASON for my very lengthy impromptu break from the blog world. I can say “I’ve been busy” because that’s true, but also: WE ARE ALL BUSY. And yet YOU have continued to prioritize posting and commenting and I somehow have not.
That doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel tremendous guilt about missing all the things going on in your life. There are a lot of negatives in there; I trust you get where I’m coming from.
1. Writer’s Block: Because I am currently struggling to think of ANYTHING AT ALL to write in this post, I might as well start with the Big Dumb Excuse, which is that I have been suffering a severe case of Writer’s Block lately. I sit down to write and there might be a few gasping spurts of words but then there’s nothing but hissing air and the sense that something might be broken. I have neglected all three of my writing partners this month, and I hate that. As someone who thrives when I know a friend is sitting beside me, tapping away at their keyboard at the exact same time, I hate that I’m not holding up my end of the clickety-clack. When I told one of my writing pals that I hadn’t written a word in eons, he mused that he doesn’t believe in writer’s block. I get it; he has been a professional writer for decades now, and when there is a deadline, you simply can’t have writer’s block. You find a way for the words to flow. And I managed to tap into that source this month – the cold, deep pool of responsibility in which swim your reputation and your income, present and future – for a work project, and again for an editing project. But I could not get it together to do any other writing whatsoever. I opened my document of blog posts and stared at it more times that you can imagine. I made lists of blog topics. I brainstormed a new story idea with a friend via text. I opened up in-progress works and stared at them. That’s as far as I got. My writer’s-block-is-not-a-thing friend gently tried to prompt me to just WRITE, anything, even if it’s crap, and – this blog post aside – I find that nearly impossible to do. I know that it’s like exercise: you do it, even if it hurts, even if your heart feels like it will explode the cage of your ribs, and the more you do it, the easier it gets, bit by agonizing bit. And yet I find myself staring at the cursor, blinking, blinking, and cannot remember what a sentence is or how to form one. Alongside the shame of any kind of personal failure, there’s something uniquely demoralizing about not being able to do something you’ve always done. ANYWAY. I no longer have The Chaos of May to blame for my not sitting and staring at the cursor, so I’m forcing myself to Just Do It, even if the results are Of Highly Questionable Value.
2. The Best Thing About My House: It has been SO FUN to see my yard come alive this spring and summer! The previous owners planted so many things and many of them are haphazard and a little weird (like big tufts of grass that seem to be plopped down in places with no rhyme or reason), but many of them are delightful. There is a lone forsythia bush in the back yard that burst into yellow in early spring. A lilac bush followed, and oh – lilac is one of my favorite scents. I collected big bunches of the blooms and brought them inside where they filled the house with spring scent. And then came a glorious surprise: IRISES. I adore irises. Alongside tulips, they may be my favorite flower ever. We had so many of them! They were gorgeous and smell divine. There is a magnolia tree in my backyard! I have wanted a magnolia tree since college, when I first encountered one outside my freshman year dorm. For several magical days each spring, you could walk through a shower of fragrant pink petals. And now I have my own! It’s white, though, but it’s nonetheless so lovely. We have roses! And daylilies! And peonies! Catmint and lavender by the bushel! And a bunch of flowers I don’t recognize! The hydrangeas are just starting to bloom and we have some butterfly bushes and I am just so happy with all of this color and scent and summery abundance.
3. Plans and Planning: A million years ago, I asked for advice about buying a planner. I am not a planner person, but I wanted to BECOME a planner person. So many of my blog readers are planner people, and they all seem to Have It Together, so I kind of deluded myself into thinking if only I had a planner, I could also Have It Together. I admit, somewhat sheepishly to everyone who was kind enough to leave a helpful comment, that I panic-ordered the first specific planner someone suggested. It was a Passion Planner, recommended by Kate (thanks, Kate!) and I got it in the 5×8 size because that’s what Gigi recommended. It arrived, and I looked at it, and it has since gone unused. Turns out I have no idea how to use a planner. Anyway. My daughter is beginning MIDDLE SCHOOL next year, and the Middle School administration recommends using a planner to keep track of their absolutely bonkerballs schedule (bonkerballs is my term, not theirs; presumably they think it is doable and normal), so I bought Carla a planner and we are going to learn how to use one together this summer.
4. More Gardening Talk! My husband and daughter got me a garden center gift certificate for Mother’s Day, so I spent one entire glorious day shopping for and planting a whole host of annuals. The previous owners left quite a few containers behind (some of which are in poor shape; one disintegrated the instant I moved it) and I had some containers from my old house. So I had a lot of real estate to fill. I bought plenty of flowers but I also bought a bunch of vegetables. It’s been a few years since I tried to grow veggies, but our backyard is fenced in, so there is no danger of deer (chipmunk danger is, however, rampant) and I’m excited to try again. I have a zucchini plant, a broccoli plant, two different cucumbers (I asked A Woman Who Seemed to Know Her Stuff for cucumber advice at the garden center, and she recommended two types, and I felt like I couldn’t not take her advice), a strawberry plant, a jalapeno plant. I also planted a few sugar snap peas and a bunch of herbs (thyme, rosemary, basil, cilantro). THEN our old next door neighbor texted me that she’d grown a few tomato plants from seed just for Carla. The neighbor is an avid gardener, and Carla used to go over to her house to play with her dog and they’d end up in the garden, where Carla would eat so many tomatoes. This former neighbor is also solely responsible for Carla liking broccoli, which is a thing she now reliably eats, so you will understand that I have undying love and adoration for this person and her magical powers. We just got to visit the ex-neighbor and her dog, where we also collected three beautiful tomato plants, and as soon as I’m done typing this nonsense I am going to go move them from their tiny pots into bigger containers.
5. Summer Priorities: Carla and I sat down the other day and came up with a list of summer priorities. I feel like I have too many priorities, though, and feel a little pre-stressed about failing to prioritize any of them. Anyway, my daily priorities are: writing, exercising, spending time outside, spending time with my kid, reading, dusting off my rusty French. Weekly, I want to swim, go for a drive, and have a family movie night. Carla’s daily priorities are: biking, playing with the neighbors, reading, and swimming. (She is also studying French daily, though for some reason it didn’t make it on the priorities list.) Each week, she wants to walk with me, swim with me, get ice cream, and have playdates with friends. Some of these things can be done in combination. Like, if Carla and I go on a walk or a swim, that covers three priorities at once. I could even try writing outdoors, which could be fun? (I just ordered this bug spray because our lovely yard is humming with biting insects.)
6. Why French? Carla and I are both studying French because we have a loose plan to go to France as a family in 2025. My husband and I have both been lucky enough to visit France several times apiece. We also spent our honeymoon in Paris. We love the country and we both feel fairly comfortable getting around. Right now, we are in the planning stages and we haven’t yet narrowed down where we want to go. Paris is a definite, since Carla has never been there and wants to see the Eiffel Tower. But then where should we go? My husband and I have both been to a lot of places, but there is surprisingly little overlap in where we’ve visited. Do we go somewhere one of us has already been? Do we try to stick to places neither of us have seen? I’m also kind of excited about the idea of picking a historical French subject for us to study as a family and then explore in person. Joan of Arc! Marie Antoinette! Eleanor of Aquitaine! Marie Curie! How cool would it be to read about a historical person and then see where she lived? My family is (so far) less enthused about this plan than I am. Carla has never been abroad and we are all super excited about introducing her to the joy of international travel.
That’s it for today, Internet. Carla’s tomato plants are calling. Thank you again for being so kind, and for caring about me.
If you could go to any non-Paris city in France, where would you go? Do you have any summer priorities? Do you use a planner and, if so, do you have any hot tips for a planner neophyte?
I’m sorry you’ve been blocked. That sounds frustrating. I did wonder what was up with you but I thought it might be the rush of end-of-year activities you get in elementary school.
Your yard and garden sound lovely. We’re still getting plants in the ground in ours. We have several kinds of herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers (that already seem to be ailing), sunflowers, and zinnias. We also have some volunteer raspberry bushes and mulberry trees but often the birds get them all before we do.
Our bulb flower rotation is crocuses, daffodils, irises, and tiger lilies. We used to have tulips but they don’t come up any more. And we have a few rosebushes that are in bloom from mid-spring to late fall/early winter. Trumpet vine is trying to take over the yard and I like it but I don’t want it everywhere.
That sounds like a good idea to learn to use the planners together. Noah had one from 4th grade on and it was a lifesaver. I don’t think North ever used one.
How exciting to have a big trip to look forward to!
I cannot even tell you how excited I was for this to show up in my feed this morning! You’re back, baby!
I am so excited for your yard and garden! It sounds like an absolute dream. Also, how wonderful about the old neighbour – tomato plants! Broccoli! This all is great. Suzanne, you would love my yard so much right now because we have so many irises! All different colours too. R is in the midst of separating them as we have so many and they are a teensy bit overgrown.
France! I love that for you. What a wonderful trip, and Carla will be a really great age for it – young enough to enjoy being with the parents, old enough to remember and appreciate it.
Your garden sounds so wonderful. It’s true magic when you see what pops up for the first time, isn’t it? I’d love to see a garden tour if you need some post suggestion.
What a wonderful adventure you are planing to visit France as a family. I am not a particular big fan of France but my Cruise through Southern France last year made me go some fun places. I think one day I want to explore Lyon. So much history, small old city to walk, fun metro system, by the river and good food. So maybe that is a suggestion.
Your summer plans sounds really good. Hope it all is as relaxing and fun as you hope.
Bretagne, Bordeaux. Anywhere on west coast, or Mediterranean..
Be like Europeans and book yourself onto a campsite! Lots of fun activities for kids.
That’s wonderful about your yard! I love picking out annuals and also have irises although not too many this year for some reason. We go through periods where there isn’t much to say or we can’t find the words. Perfectly normal! Good to see you back.
Of places I’ve been in France I would love to go back to Nice and southern France or Normandy. Of the places I haven’t been in France, Alsace is at the top of my list. Lyon would be great or the Alpine region.
We have a lilac bush we have been unsuccessfully trying to murder in our yard since we bought our house years ago. I am allergic and for two or three weeks during May, I want to murder everyone else who “loves the smell of lilac.” Ahem. I mean, I’m glad you have a lovely lilac. I hope it brings you joy for many years to come.
Summer priority: Get ice cream at the ice cream stand at least once a month, go for bike rides with my husband at least once a week, and let the dog loose like a maniac behind the middle school whenever she wants because school’s not in session anymore. These seem like reasonable goals.
I am happy to see a post from you! Writers block is a real thing and very rough to deal with. I don’t write much of substance on my blog since it’s kind of a slice of life kind of blog but if I wrote posts with more substance I would suffer from writer’s block at times too!!
I am so glad your yard is coming alive and giving you something to love about your house. And yay for planting vegetables! Our yard isn’t built for that with our steep hill. I tried to plant containers of basil and the plants got totally eaten, probably by the insane squirrels that live in our yard.
I’ve been wondering where you were but chalked it up to end of the school year madness. So glad you are back!!
Your yard sounds divine – I’d love a tour, if you want to share!
As you may remember, I am very hit or miss with my planner. But I still maintain that 5×8 is the perfect size because I can easily carry it with me, if I’m currently using it. Generally, when I first get a planner, I immediately write in all the birthdays and other important dates for the year. Then I try to “plan” my year. For example, I have tulip bulbs that I need to plant in the fall – so I wrote that in for October. I wrote a reminder for when I want to start Christmas shopping, etc. I’ve also used it to write down any medical monitoring that needs to happen. I also use it as a To Do list of sorts to plan out what needs to be done each week. I think once you get into the habit it will become second nature…at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
France! How exciting. I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Oh and I also find that if I leave my planner out and close at hand, I’m more likely to use it or refer to it.
Can I confess that I sometimes find relief when I see that someone doesn’t have a new post? Not you specifically by any means, but I don’t use a reader, I just click on my blogroll and pop over to see if someone has posted or not. When I get behind in reading (as I have been lately) it is a relief to show up and see an old post there, rather than 5 new ones that I have missed. Having said that, I am so glad that you are back!
If you are looking for blog ideas, I for one LOVE France and would love to read about the places you have been there, since you’ve been a few times already. <3 I’m excited that you’re going next year. Come here and post of your dreams, too. I love the anticipation of vacation almost as much as the real thing.
I love your neighbor from your old neighborhood, and that she planted tomatoes for Carla! Magical.
Regarding planners…I buy one every year but barely use it. Our local middle and high schools gave them to the students every year, so everyone had the same one, and it was REALLY helpful for helping my daughter stay organized and keep up with assignments for different classes and so on. She hasn’t used one since she graduated from college though, hasn’t needed them. Maybe you just don’t need one in your life? I do like the idea of you finding out, though, by giving it a try.
Omg Suzanne, you KNOW I get it. And I was just about to email you, except then I coughed until I blacked out. I appreciate that your friend is a professional and all, but I sort of feel like “I don’t believe in writer’s block” is a little bit like “I don’t believe in catering to children who are picky eaters” – this is probably just someone who hasn’t actually experienced what you’re talking about, and is trying to be helpful but, you know, isn’t?
Your garden! How absolutely wonderful. My husband is good at gardening, and I am kind of good at planning flower height and colour, but we have trouble merging our talents, so it’s all a bit of a crapshoot. It would be really nice to move in someplace where someone who knows what they’re doing had laid groundwork. We did plant peonies last year that we didn’t think would flower this year, though, and they are, so that was a nice surprise.
I am trying to plan for the summer too, but right now I’m just trying to get to the end of the school year while sounding like Typhoid Mary.
so glad you are back! Your yard sounds gorgeous.
Oh boy do I get it. Writing is very hard and the blocks come easily.
I flirted with planners earlier this year…and then we got a puppy. I kept up the good fight as long as I could and then dropped it. I’d rather play with the puppy than plan out my mundane life. I can see getting back to it once things clear up from my job switch and the puppy gets older. I think there are phases of life that just aren’t suited to being hyper organized.
A family trip to France! And family French DuoLingo studies!!!! I don’t have any advice on where to go since I’ve never been, but how fun! I don’t think that you can go wrong with locations. I can see going to Paris, then somewhere that you have been, somewhere your husband has been, and a new-to-all-of-you place.
Oh friend, I am so glad you’re back. I literally had “write Suzanne” on my mental list for this week because I wanted to make sure everything was okay.
I think it 100% makes sense to take a break from all sorts of things and writing a blog is one of them. It does take effort and creativity and time and you have so much going on in your own world. No apologies or explanations needed!
FRANCE! PARIS! Yay! Carla will love it and is at such a perfect age for international travel. I bet she’ll love the planning and anticipation of it all, too.
Oh that first spring in a new place can be magical with the way flowers and plants come back to life–almost like a present every week. Your yard sounds lovely and I wish I had your cilantro skills.
The family trip to France sounds like a wonderful, memory-building and bonding adventure. Love to hear about at all the anticipatory excitement and happiness it’s bringing already!
we absolutely loved Aix-en-Provence, which we combined with a Paris trip that included our two kids – I think at the time my daughter may have been 13 and my son was 9 and it was a hit with them too.
Glad to see you back! The most fun thing about moving into a new house is seeing what is growing in the yard each season. I am so pleased that you have some fun plants!
Have you ever listened to a podcast called the Lazy Genius? The episode for the week of June 3rd might be right up your alley, as it talks about a playbook for summer, and she also mentions a summer calendar/planner that might be what you are looking for.
How exciting to have all those new plants/trees/flowers in your yard! It must feel like Christmas for you; everything new and fresh!
Best of luck with all your veggies; it will be fun for you both.
You’ve been missed; I’m glad all is well!
See, you SAY you’re having writer’s block, but then you write these phrases: “…a few gasping spurts of words but then there’s nothing but hissing air and the sense that something might be broken.” and “…I hate that I’m not holding up my end of the clickety-clack…” And I’m once again reminded how VERY talented you are. 🙂 Just keep going – I agree about just opening up a document and typing nothing-things, like, “I am unable to write anything substantial today, but here I am! etc” gets the typing juices (ew) flowing. But anyway, there is no reason to feel any type of failure, you owe us nothing. We just love you!
Flowers! and veggies! and priorities! You and Carla are going to have a FUN summer, and la France! Quelle amusement! 🙂
I was just thinking about you yesterday, and here you are! I like that others were thinking about you as well. This is why I love blogging. ❤️
I have irises in my yard, too. Aren’t they lovely? I’m so glad you also have them.
I have things to write about, but I’m not sure if I should share them. What type of writer’s block is this? 🤣
I’m so glad to see you back. 😘
Happy to see you back in my feed, but understand about writer’s block. You said and I feel the same way: I hate that I’m not holding up my end of the clickety-clack. I feel like I should find something to say, but then doubt myself.
I like your flowers and your herbs and that you’re getting into gardening in your new yard. That sounds like fun and endless blog post fodder. Learning French with a destination in mind also sounds wonderful.
Writer’s block is no fun – but sometimes a break is nice, especially when flowers are blooming! A trip to Fance sounds lovely. I lived in Pau for a year (Southwest France), and it was such a lovely place. Of course that was over 30 years ago, so who knows what it’s like now!
WAIT JUST A MINUTE. Carla is going to be in middle school??? I cannot handle this.
I currently have two planners in my Amazon cart because, like you, I always feel I will become a planner person with the RIGHT planner. It’s the planner, it’s not us!!
Omg, a trip to France! I was just looking up Mediterranean cruises last night, lol. My mom turns 60 next year and I’d love to make that happen for her!
Leave it to Suzanne to disappear for a month because of writer’s block and return by saying she has nothing to say, yet crank out a long blog post. Thankful for the update though because we all want to know this stuff, like…
… the beauty of your yard,
… the trip to the gardening center and all the things you planted (I am excited for your harvest),
… Carla is in middle school (WHAT??),and
… you’re planning a trip to France. How exciting!
Tried to leave a comment yesterday on my other computer; want to see if this works, and then will come back with substantive comment. 😉