things I keep forgetting

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Five for Friday

I am so scattered lately. So. Scattered. Is it the time change? Is it perimenopause? Am I experiencing the early signs of dementia? WHO KNOWS.

*sob*

Keeping Track of Things You Need to Do: This feels like the dumbest question ever (and yet I feel like I have asked the same or a very similar question before, which… well, it says a lot), but I am 100% serious: How do you keep track of things you need to do?

Back in the middle ages of 2005 or so, I kept a physical planner. At least, I’m pretty sure I did; I remember buying extra pages to insert into the planner. I am assuming that’s how I kept on top of tasks and meetings etc. When I worked in an office, everyone used Outlook to keep track of those things. I have a dim recollection of getting a little pop-up notification on my screen five minutes before my next meeting. For years now, I’ve been keeping all my appointments and things in my phone’s calendar. But more and more often, I find that I’m straight up MISSING things. I failed to show up for a doctor’s appointment last fall, which is super embarrassing, in large part because my husband finds it SO frustrating when people fail to show up for appointments with him. I have been *sure* that I already had appointments on my calendar, only to find that I had never scheduled them. The other day, I was supposed to attend an informational meeting and, even though I rescheduled plans because of it, and even though my entire family was aware I needed to attend this meeting, I forgot about it completely. If I make any tiny deviation in my normal morning routine, I will forget critical necessities for myself and family members. Let me tell you, I feel like I am losing my mind.

One thing that has helped, slightly, is for me to program multiple “alerts” into each calendar entry. So if I have a hair appointment, I put in an alert for a week prior to the appointment, then for a day prior to the appointment, and finally, for an hour prior to the appointment. This seems to do the trick. But, and this is CRUCIAL, it only works if I remember to program the alerts, which I apparently did not do for the recent informational meeting.

I don’t know why the second alert comes before the alert; it works out the way it should.

I am pretty sure I complained in recent months on this very blog about forgetting to take my regular daily medications, and I resolved that by a) taking everything at one time instead of some in the morning and some at night, and b) programming a recurring alarm into my phone, with the title “Take medication.” I suppose I could do that with lots of things, but also I am wary of having too many alarms. That seems like it will become quickly and counterproductively overwhelming.

I have spent way too much time thinking, plaintively, “But I used to be able to just remember things!” For whatever horrifying or normal reason, I can no longer count on “just remembering things.” What I *do* need to do is find a system, because I am tired of and irritated about feeling like a flaky dumbass so often.

Good Chips: It’s no secret around here that I love me some tortilla chips. My kid loves plain old Tostitos, but they have become prohibitively expensive over the past six to twelve months. I only ever buy tortilla chips if they are on sale or if I happen to be at Trader Joe’s when I am in need of tortilla chips. This restriction is how I discovered these chips; they were on sale at my local grocery store. And they are SO GOOD. Flaky and crunchy and light. Good flavor, good salt level. They taste pretty darn close to the handmade tortilla chips you get at a Mexican restaurant.

Workout Workaround: A few months ago, I strained my forearm. It has been painful ever since, and hurts even when I use that hand to lift something light, like a carton of yogurt. This means that I haven’t been able to lift weights, even though strength training is my preferred method of exercise. I tried resting the arm, I tried stretching it, I tried whining about it anyone who would listen. Nothing worked. But then I found this video with some specific massages and exercises for forearm pain. I wouldn’t say it’s fully resolved the pain, but it has helped SO MUCH. I have also decided that I can’t just never lift weights again. But instead of doing a few reps of heavy weights, I decided to seek out some workout videos featuring high reps of small weights. This one is my favorite so far. Some of the exercises strain my arm even with my lightest weight (5 pounds / 2.27 kg), so when I encounter one of those, I use no weight at all. I have been pleased with how sweaty I get during these workouts and by how shaky my arms and legs and abs get by the end of the video.

Summer Stripes: We have reached the portion of the year where I am longing for an all new wardrobe of spring and summer clothing. Not that the weather is cooperating; I went for a walk with a friend yesterday and had to wear gloves and my winter coat, and for the first half of our time together I was kicking myself for not bringing a hat and scarf as well. But the heart wants what it wants.

Currently, my heart is fixated on summer weight pants with a vertical stripe. I have tried buying several pairs of pants of this nature, but nothing – so far – has stuck. First of all, these pants sold out after I’d ordered them, but before I received them. Boo. They seem perfect. I am on the fence about these jeans. On the one hand, they are cute enough. On the other hand, they are jeans and I really wanted something light and breezy. On the other other hand, they are light and I feel like light colors emphasize the wrong parts of my body. These pants are cute in theory but look terrible on my actual body. These pants are pretty cute, and I like the material, which is silky. But they are black and I really want blue pants. Maybe I will order these.

The main problem with these pants of my heart, aside from them not looking great on me, is that I am now struggling to differentiate them from pajamas. I don’t really want to look as though I’m gallivanting about the world in pajamas.

Obligatory Cat Photo: My cat is weird and adorable.

He likes to hang out like this. Perfectly normal way to use the stairs.
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A Mystery, a Magic Gel, and More Snow

Reminder: the giveaway for a copy of Nicole’s debut novel ends this coming Friday. Please enter if you or a loved one need a(nother) copy of her book!

The memory of needing [SOMETHING] is strong. It keeps niggling at my brain – you need to get this, something is missing, make sure you get this.

The memory of talking about [SOMETHING] is strong. All three of us were in the kitchen. My daughter was eating ramen with eggs and edamame. My husband had just returned from the office. I can see myself informing my husband, “I am going to buy [SOMETHING] and reusable chopsticks for Carla.” He asked some follow-up questions about these items (this is how we keep one another’s spending in check; one of us expresses a need or want for something, the other pushes back, and we discuss whether we really need to spend money on said item) and I have a vague recollection that he disagreed slightly with my assessment of need. It wasn’t a strenuous disagreement, by any means, otherwise I would have simply crossed the [SOMETHING] off my mental list.

But what is the [SOMETHING]?!?!

This has been bothering me for two days. Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when it suddenly appeared to me: the [SOMETHING]. Ah yes, I thought, relieved. And then promptly forgot it again.

I have asked my husband and my child. Both recall the conversation. Neither remembers what the [SOMETHING] was.

WHAT WAS IT?!

I suppose that it must not have been super important, if I have forgotten it so easily. (Twice.) But also, it keeps itching at my brain, which makes me feel like it must be moderately important.

Memory works in such strange and funny ways. I have been wracking my brain, trying to figure out the identity of [SOMETHING], and have come across several other things:

  • New shoes for the treadmill: Yes, I do need these. The heels are wearing through in my current shoes. But that’s not THE [SOMETHING].
  • Kitchen mat: Yes, the first one I ordered claimed it was washable in the online description, but the tags on the item itself said it was not washable. So I still need a replacement for our well-worn existing mat. But… it’s not the [SOMETHING] I can’t remember.
  • Hair dryer stand: I mean, I long for one of these every time I bathe the cat and spend twelve hours blow drying him. But this isn’t it either.

I find it fascinating that I can both not remember what the [SOMETHING] IS, and yet be so very clear on what it ISN’T.

It has to be something kitchen-related, doesn’t it? I mean, I mentioned it to my husband while were all the kitchen, so it seems like that was the trigger? Or maybe it was the fact that Carla was eating ramen with a fork (the horror!) and so the desire for reusable chopsticks was fresh in my mind? I have no idea.

What do you think it was????

Okay, so onto something that I DO remember, which is a magical gel that my mother introduced to me.

She has touted the wizardry of this gel before: when my daughter and I visit her in the summer, and inevitably get eaten by mosquitoes, she pulls out the magic gel and applies it to our bites. It contains an anesthetic that soothes the pain and itching, but it also has an antiseptic element. It works so well that I now have some of my own, which I either purchased or stole from my mother.

Just last week, I was visiting my parents and I had a giant zit forming on my chin. One of those awful, painful, enormous, bright red cystic pimples that make you feel like you have a glowing neon ACNE! sign on your face. My mother pulled me into her bathroom, wiped my dermal leviathan with hydrogen peroxide, and dabbed some of the magic gel on it. “This will work in 24 hours,” she vowed.

Sure, mom.

I knew better; this kind of pimple lasts at least a week, and I was on Day 2, the point at which it had just begun to breach the surface of my skin.

The next day, it had shrunk to half its size and the pain was gone. The day after that, it had vanished back into the depths of my cells. HOW?! I have never in my life had a zit cure that worked so fast or so well! Certainly not since I got diagnosed with papulopustular rosacea a couple of years ago, when pretty much any pimple treatment simply made my face double down with a profusion of additional spots.

Anyway. The magic gel costs less than $5 on Amazon, and I’m guessing it sells for a similar amount at your local drugstore, and it is amazing and has at least two more uses than it seems to claim. What else might it treat?!

It is our second snow day of the week. Carla is once again doing Remote Learning, which is giving me unpleasant flashbacks to 2020.

Snow continues to seethe ceaselessly through the grey.

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Reminders

Everything seems worse/harder without sleep. On those no-rest days, the world is likely not more on the verge of tipping into the abyss than usual, so try to be kind to yourself and go to bed to early.

While 250 words may not feel like a worthwhile number of words, it’s still better than 0 words.

You may feel a persistent urgency to buy more cumin, but you probably have more cumin than any human needs stocked away in the pantry. Same goes for OxiClean. And 409. And ketchup.

The bad thing didn’t happen. You can stop worrying about it.

Folding laundry is much easier if you do it immediately after the dryer beeps rather than letting the clean loads pile up in insurmountable mountains.

Library books, once checked out, need to be returned.

For Pete’s sake, check the fridge before you leave for the store so you don’t wind up with no onions (or 8).

Black Mirror may be riveting TV, but it will make you feel like scooping up your family and moving immediately to a remote lean-to in the Northwest Territories. So perhaps watch Fresh Off the Boat instead.

Your child is infinitely more cooperative when you use a cheerful, friendly voice than when you use a growly, frustrated, put-upon voice.

Make the elaborate dish on your meal plan early in the week, or you will lose motivation and wind up scrounging through the freezer for easy alternatives and wasting the rosemary.

It’s just a movie/book/TV show. The horrors that lie within are not happening to you.

Coupons are only worth clipping if you take them with you to Target.

Go to sleep at a decent time. Watching another episode of Naked and Afraid is not worth a blurry, stumbly morning.

 

 

What do you keep forgetting?