introvert

Five for Friday
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Five for Friday

Right out of the gate I am going to admit that I have been An Utter Failure at participating in Elisabeth’s walking challenge. I have gone for… three walks so far this month. And I have no excuse! The weather has been peak fall perfection, I have had pockets of time during which I could EASILY slip in a 10-15 minute walk, I am in good health and all my limbs are operational.

Well. Today is a new day. I have an opportunity to change my ways.

ROOF REPAIR WEARINESS

Our roof has undergone a total replacement this week. The contractor originally thought it would take two days; it took four. I worried that the constant but irregular thumps and bangs and slams would stress out the cat, so I spent most of the week in the house with him, so we could endure the constant irregular thumps and bangs and slams together.

In addition to the noise, I felt the same kind of on-edge-iness I always feel when people are working in or on my home. Yes, the roofing team was outside, but also they were RIGHT THERE. It was weird to eat lunch at the kitchen table because they were right outside. It was weird to go for a walk because I had to thread my way under and around their scaffolding and materials. It was weird to leave to take Carla to school or for an appointment because it was weird to leave behind a passel of strangers.

I never know how to deal with people working on my house. (I am soothed to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.) I said hello and thanked them for being there. On the second day (what I thought was the LAST day), I brought the crew donuts. But then I felt weird about not bringing them treats on the subsequent days. Was I supposed to be outside, observing them? Asking for reports and updates?

The guy who was overseeing everything – which is a different guy from the foreperson, because he had to call the foreperson a couple of times – didn’t really seem to be overseeing anything. I didn’t see him, for instance. And he assured me that something had been done that clearly had not, and had to call the foreperson to ascertain that I was right. The big storm that caused all the damage to our house caused widespread damage. I know that the roofing people are overwhelmed and have hundreds of clients just like me. I know they are being pulled in multiple directions at once. I still feel a little like no one was steering the ship.

Even though the roofing team tried to keep things tidy, there was trash everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Scraps of roof tiles in the shrubbery. A plastic water bottle on the pool cover. Shreds of plastic flung all over the lawn. Flowers trampled beneath ladder legs and canvas tarps.

By the end of each day, my head felt full and I was snappy and impatient with my family. Unfortunately, this is not the end of the work. The vinyl siding will be replaced next, and then the wooden parts of our house will be painted, and I have no idea how anyone survives any sort of renovation, especially if it requires having people INSIDE YOUR HOUSE. This is all to say, I am pretty sure the entire process stressed me out more than it did the cat.

Anyway: it is blissfully quiet this morning, and we have a new roof, for which I am very grateful.

THE POOL STILL HAS A LEAK

This is the Champagnest of problems, and yet it is rapidly becoming a massive pain in my ass. I have contacted the leak people; they said they could come out. They never give me a specific day when they will come out. They want the pool clean, full, and 85 degrees when they show up. I am spending unknown quantities of money and resources keeping the pool full and heated. With the roof repair, they couldn’t have done the work had they wanted to. Not that they called me back after saying, yes, they could repair the leak this week! My regular pool maintenance guy keeps warning me how important it is to address the leak before winter, lest the water freeze and cause much more damage. It does not appear that there is an alternative leak company for me to use.

I rescued this frog from the pool, even though he may have not needed rescuing. He has, presumably, nothing to do with the leak.

GARAGE DOORS

This is not about how we also are replacing our garage doors, it is about the doors to our kitchen storage garages! In response to my recent post, Carolyn asked, “Does it have a door that goes up and down like a standard garage door?” Yes, kind of! The doors come out and then up. Here is the front of the garage I recently tidied (don’t worry, Lenny is not inside).

And here is the front of our other garage, this one an appliance garage.

I do love how these garages allow me to use what amounts to regular counter space – convenient, counter height, no need to lift or carry – without resorting to the counter clutter I resist with all my heart.

I did TRY to take these photos in a way that looked normal, but I am incapable of photographing anything straight-on.

ANOTHER KIND OF CLEANING PROJECT

I drink Earl Grey tea every morning in the cool months. (I drink iced chai in the summers.) While I have many, many mugs, I typically opt for one of three enormous mugs my husband and child got me for Christmas back in 2018. Over the years, the ceramic has become deeply discolored by the tea.


The stain doesn’t bother me too much, but I left my empty mug next to the sink last weekend and my husband was aghast at the state of the mug. He informed me that he had used one of the tablets he uses to clean his stainless steel coffee mug on my mug, which I thought was probably not going to work on the ceramic. Sweet of him to try, though.

BUT IT DID WORK.

No idea what these weird shadows are. That’s what I get for taking photos in the early morning hours.

CAT NAPPING

My cat is an excellent napper. That is all.

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Waiting Room Woolgathering

I am in a waiting room at the car place while my vehicle undergoes repairs for yet another recall. In fact, this is a re-recall because I already had this particular issue addressed a couple of years ago. Or, not addressed, apparently.

There is one other woman-presenting person in the waiting room with me. She just consented to a $160 tire alignment. I am 95% sure that the service member who came to speak with her referred to her as Suzanne, and the service person who checked me in already told me my car’s alignment failed. What are the chances that two Suzannes would both have failed tire alignments at the exact same time?!

It’s been kind of a rough start to the school year. Or maybe not rough so much as nonstop busy? None of it is BAD stuff; it’s all stuff that we’ve done or chosen on purpose. Well, except for the leak in our pool. No one wants that. I think it’s like this every year, and I simply block out the memory of the frenetic bustle of it all during the relative calm of the summer months. Annual or not, I currently feel like I’ve jumped into the middle of an ice-cold lake and I’m not that strong a swimmer.  

What I really want to be doing is spending my days walking, writing, and hanging out with my cat. That sounds like my ideal level of interpersonal interaction right about now.

Ignore the doorbell and the dishes and the laundry and the fact that you need to pick up your kid and the neighbor’s children from school and lie down with meeeeeeeeeee…

In practice, I’ve been spending an average of two hours a day in a school gymnasium, making conversation with other parents, cheering for our kids, and trying to stave off butt and back pain from the relentless discomfort of the bleachers. (This little purchase has helped quite a bit with the latter.) Or rushing to/waiting around my house to discuss various home maintenance and repair and improvement projects with a parade of vendors. Or scrolling aimlessly on my phone in an attempt to stay awake while my daughter finishes her homework (she hasn’t gone to bed before eleven a single time this school year). Or driving to or from school and/or sporting events. Or working on a volunteer project, which involves both in-person meetings and a group chat. I remain terrified of group chats.

This is all, like, totally normal parent and life stuff and yet I am feeling overwhelmed and overextended and wholly unsuited to any of it.

Let’s just hope this is all an ADJUSTMENT period, to which I will ADJUST. My kiddo, by the way – who is the one DOING THE SPORTS AND HOMEWORK which is quite a bit more strenuous than observing those things – seems to be handling everything with much more grace and much less whining than I am.

On the plus side, I have not cooked a single meal all week. On the minus side, I did buy ingredients to make a giant salad several days ago and I am pretty sure they are all gradually rotting into inedibility in my fridge.

There are five of us in the waiting room now. One of the staff members has chosen this very moment to vacuum the floor of the waiting room. Why now, buddy? It’s not like someone just spilled a bag of chip crumbs or anything. The floor looks perfectly clean. Is this a conscientious objection to the inanity of Jenna & Sheinelle, which I didn’t know was a show? Is it passive aggressive proof to his manager that he is Doing His Job? Puzzling.

Those of you with better memories and/or experience with middle school and high school kids, is this just… How Things Are? Carla goes to school, goes to sports, scarfs a quick and less-nutritionally-balanced-than-I’d-prefer dinner, immerses herself in homework, goes to bed, repeat. There is literally no time to do anything else. She doesn’t have a spare ten minutes to tidy her room or practice her instrument or go visit the neighbor dogs. The only time we talk is in the car or over a hasty meal of fast-food nuggets. We’ve been sacrificing a traditional breakfast in favor of a few more minutes of sleep, and she’s been eating ants on a log or drinking a smoothie in the car on the way to school. Our only “non productive” time is the five minutes of cat videos we watch together every morning, and the ten minutes I spend reading to her in bed every night.

(By the way, I am currently reading her this book, which I remember liking when I was a kid, although not enough to read any of the other books in the series. But I am finding it boring and kind of dumb???)

My husband thinks that it was like this for him when he was in school. My mom thinks it was like this for me when I was in school. But I have no recollection of doing three to five hours of schoolwork every night. Maybe in college, but even then, only when I had a paper due the next day. Three to five hours of schoolwork seems BONKERS, let alone doing it on top of two to three hours of Sports.

I keep spiraling about Carla’s commitments. The spiral starts with: This is too much! This school isn’t right for Carla! Something must be wrong, either with the teachers or with Carla’s ability to do the work! Should I email the teachers? The principal? Should I encourage Carla to email the teachers? The principal? Should I make her quit Sports?

Then eventually (sometimes with help from my much chiller husband) the spiral makes its way around to this: But Carla seems to be doing okay. She’s tired, sure, but isn’t that true of ALL teenagers, EVERYWHERE? The other parents I’ve talked to say their kids are doing similar amounts of homework, and going to bed similarly late. And none of them are pulling their kids out of school or making them quit the team or marching into the principal’s office demanding Action. And Carla really seems to enjoy Sports! She’s getting better, she seems to be making a positive contribution to the team. The physical activity is certainly good for her. As is the social interaction. She seems to be completing her homework, even if it’s late when she finishes it. Her grades are fine, so far. And her own father says that this is How It Was even back in the golden era of the nineteen-nineties.

The calm doesn’t last particularly long, though. It doesn’t help that I am also getting less sleep than I prefer, and I’m much busier than I prefer. Maybe once those things resolve (will they resolve?) I will be more zen about Carla’s level of busyness.

Speaking of being more zen: The last time I posted here, which was eons and eons ago, I mentioned my fret about feeding the sports team. THANK YOU for pointing out that doing such a thing is inadvisable. I spent the first three weeks of school not signing up, and simply taking Carla some nourishment to eat between games. She eats WRAPS now, can you believe it? Ham, tomato, and lettuce. (I wrap the tomato and lettuce in the ham, so they don’t soggify the tortilla.) (Yes, we have decided to throw caution to the wind and get back on the lettuce train.) Other parents have been signing up to provide sustenance, and I have been observing what they bring. They are not bringing dinner, they are bringing SNACKS. I can totally bring snacks for the team. That’s much less daunting than providing an entire meal. Thanks for talking me down, internet.

And there’s the service guy who checked me in. My car is done, and so is this post.