back to school bedlam

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Waiting Room Woolgathering

I am in a waiting room at the car place while my vehicle undergoes repairs for yet another recall. In fact, this is a re-recall because I already had this particular issue addressed a couple of years ago. Or, not addressed, apparently.

There is one other woman-presenting person in the waiting room with me. She just consented to a $160 tire alignment. I am 95% sure that the service member who came to speak with her referred to her as Suzanne, and the service person who checked me in already told me my car’s alignment failed. What are the chances that two Suzannes would both have failed tire alignments at the exact same time?!

It’s been kind of a rough start to the school year. Or maybe not rough so much as nonstop busy? None of it is BAD stuff; it’s all stuff that we’ve done or chosen on purpose. Well, except for the leak in our pool. No one wants that. I think it’s like this every year, and I simply block out the memory of the frenetic bustle of it all during the relative calm of the summer months. Annual or not, I currently feel like I’ve jumped into the middle of an ice-cold lake and I’m not that strong a swimmer.  

What I really want to be doing is spending my days walking, writing, and hanging out with my cat. That sounds like my ideal level of interpersonal interaction right about now.

Ignore the doorbell and the dishes and the laundry and the fact that you need to pick up your kid and the neighbor’s children from school and lie down with meeeeeeeeeee…

In practice, I’ve been spending an average of two hours a day in a school gymnasium, making conversation with other parents, cheering for our kids, and trying to stave off butt and back pain from the relentless discomfort of the bleachers. (This little purchase has helped quite a bit with the latter.) Or rushing to/waiting around my house to discuss various home maintenance and repair and improvement projects with a parade of vendors. Or scrolling aimlessly on my phone in an attempt to stay awake while my daughter finishes her homework (she hasn’t gone to bed before eleven a single time this school year). Or driving to or from school and/or sporting events. Or working on a volunteer project, which involves both in-person meetings and a group chat. I remain terrified of group chats.

This is all, like, totally normal parent and life stuff and yet I am feeling overwhelmed and overextended and wholly unsuited to any of it.

Let’s just hope this is all an ADJUSTMENT period, to which I will ADJUST. My kiddo, by the way – who is the one DOING THE SPORTS AND HOMEWORK which is quite a bit more strenuous than observing those things – seems to be handling everything with much more grace and much less whining than I am.

On the plus side, I have not cooked a single meal all week. On the minus side, I did buy ingredients to make a giant salad several days ago and I am pretty sure they are all gradually rotting into inedibility in my fridge.

There are five of us in the waiting room now. One of the staff members has chosen this very moment to vacuum the floor of the waiting room. Why now, buddy? It’s not like someone just spilled a bag of chip crumbs or anything. The floor looks perfectly clean. Is this a conscientious objection to the inanity of Jenna & Sheinelle, which I didn’t know was a show? Is it passive aggressive proof to his manager that he is Doing His Job? Puzzling.

Those of you with better memories and/or experience with middle school and high school kids, is this just… How Things Are? Carla goes to school, goes to sports, scarfs a quick and less-nutritionally-balanced-than-I’d-prefer dinner, immerses herself in homework, goes to bed, repeat. There is literally no time to do anything else. She doesn’t have a spare ten minutes to tidy her room or practice her instrument or go visit the neighbor dogs. The only time we talk is in the car or over a hasty meal of fast-food nuggets. We’ve been sacrificing a traditional breakfast in favor of a few more minutes of sleep, and she’s been eating ants on a log or drinking a smoothie in the car on the way to school. Our only “non productive” time is the five minutes of cat videos we watch together every morning, and the ten minutes I spend reading to her in bed every night.

(By the way, I am currently reading her this book, which I remember liking when I was a kid, although not enough to read any of the other books in the series. But I am finding it boring and kind of dumb???)

My husband thinks that it was like this for him when he was in school. My mom thinks it was like this for me when I was in school. But I have no recollection of doing three to five hours of schoolwork every night. Maybe in college, but even then, only when I had a paper due the next day. Three to five hours of schoolwork seems BONKERS, let alone doing it on top of two to three hours of Sports.

I keep spiraling about Carla’s commitments. The spiral starts with: This is too much! This school isn’t right for Carla! Something must be wrong, either with the teachers or with Carla’s ability to do the work! Should I email the teachers? The principal? Should I encourage Carla to email the teachers? The principal? Should I make her quit Sports?

Then eventually (sometimes with help from my much chiller husband) the spiral makes its way around to this: But Carla seems to be doing okay. She’s tired, sure, but isn’t that true of ALL teenagers, EVERYWHERE? The other parents I’ve talked to say their kids are doing similar amounts of homework, and going to bed similarly late. And none of them are pulling their kids out of school or making them quit the team or marching into the principal’s office demanding Action. And Carla really seems to enjoy Sports! She’s getting better, she seems to be making a positive contribution to the team. The physical activity is certainly good for her. As is the social interaction. She seems to be completing her homework, even if it’s late when she finishes it. Her grades are fine, so far. And her own father says that this is How It Was even back in the golden era of the nineteen-nineties.

The calm doesn’t last particularly long, though. It doesn’t help that I am also getting less sleep than I prefer, and I’m much busier than I prefer. Maybe once those things resolve (will they resolve?) I will be more zen about Carla’s level of busyness.

Speaking of being more zen: The last time I posted here, which was eons and eons ago, I mentioned my fret about feeding the sports team. THANK YOU for pointing out that doing such a thing is inadvisable. I spent the first three weeks of school not signing up, and simply taking Carla some nourishment to eat between games. She eats WRAPS now, can you believe it? Ham, tomato, and lettuce. (I wrap the tomato and lettuce in the ham, so they don’t soggify the tortilla.) (Yes, we have decided to throw caution to the wind and get back on the lettuce train.) Other parents have been signing up to provide sustenance, and I have been observing what they bring. They are not bringing dinner, they are bringing SNACKS. I can totally bring snacks for the team. That’s much less daunting than providing an entire meal. Thanks for talking me down, internet.

And there’s the service guy who checked me in. My car is done, and so is this post.

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Bewildering Sports Sustenance Situation, Back-to-School Bedlam, and Dinners This Week

School starts this week, as do Sports. My husband starts a call week on Friday night. The chaos is ramping up and my only defense is running away Extreme Uptight Organization.

Let’s see if I can assemble all the elements necessary for meal planning.

Carla has Sports Events two nights this week. One night may or may not involve going to dinner at my in laws’ rental. Carla will not be eating at home three nights this week; however, I need to supply dinner for each sports event. In fact, I could supply dinner for all the kids on her team, but I cannot figure out how to access the spreadsheet of dinner volunteers one of the moms put together.

I feel a panicky slash grumpy digression about Sports Events Sustenance coming on. Gird yourself.

None of the parents wants to be in charge of organizing dinners for the kids, although the aforementioned mom did (supposedly) create a spreadsheet so we can sign up to bring food for each game. One of the other parents noted that her child doesn’t like sandwiches, which – well, honestly, Carla doesn’t like sandwiches either, but what the actual fuck is a person supposed to provide for dinners when sandwiches are off the table? There are only so many times the team can eat Chik-Fil-A nuggets for dinner, right? (Carla, perhaps, would disagree.) I am sure other people’s kids eat a variety of foods, but 99% of the things that a) my particular kid will eat that are b) nourishing and nutritionally balanced are IMPOSSIBLE FOODS to provide for sporting events.

First of all, I don’t even know when these kids are expected to eat; practice starts after school and games start at, like, 4:00 or 5:00. Are they planning to eat these meals on the bus? In the fifteen minutes between school and practice during which they are also expected to change?

Second of all, sure, a sandwich or some chicken nuggets seem fairly easy to scarf down in a few minutes, but the other things Carla likes (salmon! tacos! steak! meatballs!) seem much less easy if even doable for the venue. Other (semi) nourishing foods – like hummus and veggies or cheese and crackers – don’t strike me as calorically rich enough to sustain kids through an entire game, and that’s without mentioning that Carla won’t even eat hummus or any other sort of dip with her veggies. Nuts and nut butters are verboten, so there goes that source of high-calorie protein and fat. Maybe I could get away with creating some sort of charcuterie-esque “dinner,” with ham and pepperoni and cheese and veggies and fruit… but that sounds time consuming and logistically complicated (how would I serve it to a large group?) (keep in mind that I WORRY ABOUT GERMS AND FOOD SAFETY). Bagels and cream cheese and maybe some lunch meat has potential, but I don’t know how many bagels with cream cheese and lunch meat my kid will eat in a season. There’s pizza, I guess, but the other complicating factor is that the dinners need to be delivered by the parent (as in, not by Door Dash or a local delivery person) before the game starts, which means I would have to pick up pizza and take it immediately to wherever the kids are and sometimes I don’t want to do that.

In years past, we’ve stopped for dinner (usually Chik-Fil-A) after games, because my kid is starving… but I would really love to not do that, for so many reasons. One of which is the rumored extreme amp-up of homework this year. HOW is Carla going to do sports, homework, AND dinner and still get to bed early enough to ensure adequate sleep? What do other children eat for dinner? HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS? I am back to wanting to stride briskly into the sea.

My mother made us dinner every night when we were visiting their house. It was luxurious to have a home cooked meal to enjoy, but even more decadent was not having to think about what to make for dinners. But now *I* am the one in charge of the thinking and planning and making, and… well, I have to suck it up, Buttercup, because that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Or something.

Dinners for the Week of August 17

  • Szechuan Stir Fry: I bought the ingredients for a fresh veggie (and chicken) stir fry last week and haven’t been able to bring myself to assemble them into eating shape. Let’s not waste all those yummy veggies.
  • Greek Chicken with Cucumber-Feta Salad: This sounds good and summery and like it has potential for leftovers.
  • Crockpot Crispy Tinga Tacos with Avocado Jalapeno Crema: The crockpot is my bestie on days when there’s no clear timeframe for getting home. Plus maybe this will also produce leftovers?
  • Two Dinners for Sports Events: For one night, I think I’ll go with my charcuterie plate idea, at least for Carla. And maybe the bagel and cream cheese idea for the other night? Should I try to sign up to bring dinner for the whole team, or wait until later in the season? WHAT DO SPORTS TEAMS EAT FOR DINNER?????

That’s all the time I have for meal planning panic, Internet. I have a PT appointment, Carla has sports practice, there’s a mandatory school meeting, and some sort of orientation during which the kids are supposed to get their locker assignments. Let the Back-to-School Bedlam begin.