School and Such

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Waiting Room Woolgathering

I am in a waiting room at the car place while my vehicle undergoes repairs for yet another recall. In fact, this is a re-recall because I already had this particular issue addressed a couple of years ago. Or, not addressed, apparently.

There is one other woman-presenting person in the waiting room with me. She just consented to a $160 tire alignment. I am 95% sure that the service member who came to speak with her referred to her as Suzanne, and the service person who checked me in already told me my car’s alignment failed. What are the chances that two Suzannes would both have failed tire alignments at the exact same time?!

It’s been kind of a rough start to the school year. Or maybe not rough so much as nonstop busy? None of it is BAD stuff; it’s all stuff that we’ve done or chosen on purpose. Well, except for the leak in our pool. No one wants that. I think it’s like this every year, and I simply block out the memory of the frenetic bustle of it all during the relative calm of the summer months. Annual or not, I currently feel like I’ve jumped into the middle of an ice-cold lake and I’m not that strong a swimmer.  

What I really want to be doing is spending my days walking, writing, and hanging out with my cat. That sounds like my ideal level of interpersonal interaction right about now.

Ignore the doorbell and the dishes and the laundry and the fact that you need to pick up your kid and the neighbor’s children from school and lie down with meeeeeeeeeee…

In practice, I’ve been spending an average of two hours a day in a school gymnasium, making conversation with other parents, cheering for our kids, and trying to stave off butt and back pain from the relentless discomfort of the bleachers. (This little purchase has helped quite a bit with the latter.) Or rushing to/waiting around my house to discuss various home maintenance and repair and improvement projects with a parade of vendors. Or scrolling aimlessly on my phone in an attempt to stay awake while my daughter finishes her homework (she hasn’t gone to bed before eleven a single time this school year). Or driving to or from school and/or sporting events. Or working on a volunteer project, which involves both in-person meetings and a group chat. I remain terrified of group chats.

This is all, like, totally normal parent and life stuff and yet I am feeling overwhelmed and overextended and wholly unsuited to any of it.

Let’s just hope this is all an ADJUSTMENT period, to which I will ADJUST. My kiddo, by the way – who is the one DOING THE SPORTS AND HOMEWORK which is quite a bit more strenuous than observing those things – seems to be handling everything with much more grace and much less whining than I am.

On the plus side, I have not cooked a single meal all week. On the minus side, I did buy ingredients to make a giant salad several days ago and I am pretty sure they are all gradually rotting into inedibility in my fridge.

There are five of us in the waiting room now. One of the staff members has chosen this very moment to vacuum the floor of the waiting room. Why now, buddy? It’s not like someone just spilled a bag of chip crumbs or anything. The floor looks perfectly clean. Is this a conscientious objection to the inanity of Jenna & Sheinelle, which I didn’t know was a show? Is it passive aggressive proof to his manager that he is Doing His Job? Puzzling.

Those of you with better memories and/or experience with middle school and high school kids, is this just… How Things Are? Carla goes to school, goes to sports, scarfs a quick and less-nutritionally-balanced-than-I’d-prefer dinner, immerses herself in homework, goes to bed, repeat. There is literally no time to do anything else. She doesn’t have a spare ten minutes to tidy her room or practice her instrument or go visit the neighbor dogs. The only time we talk is in the car or over a hasty meal of fast-food nuggets. We’ve been sacrificing a traditional breakfast in favor of a few more minutes of sleep, and she’s been eating ants on a log or drinking a smoothie in the car on the way to school. Our only “non productive” time is the five minutes of cat videos we watch together every morning, and the ten minutes I spend reading to her in bed every night.

(By the way, I am currently reading her this book, which I remember liking when I was a kid, although not enough to read any of the other books in the series. But I am finding it boring and kind of dumb???)

My husband thinks that it was like this for him when he was in school. My mom thinks it was like this for me when I was in school. But I have no recollection of doing three to five hours of schoolwork every night. Maybe in college, but even then, only when I had a paper due the next day. Three to five hours of schoolwork seems BONKERS, let alone doing it on top of two to three hours of Sports.

I keep spiraling about Carla’s commitments. The spiral starts with: This is too much! This school isn’t right for Carla! Something must be wrong, either with the teachers or with Carla’s ability to do the work! Should I email the teachers? The principal? Should I encourage Carla to email the teachers? The principal? Should I make her quit Sports?

Then eventually (sometimes with help from my much chiller husband) the spiral makes its way around to this: But Carla seems to be doing okay. She’s tired, sure, but isn’t that true of ALL teenagers, EVERYWHERE? The other parents I’ve talked to say their kids are doing similar amounts of homework, and going to bed similarly late. And none of them are pulling their kids out of school or making them quit the team or marching into the principal’s office demanding Action. And Carla really seems to enjoy Sports! She’s getting better, she seems to be making a positive contribution to the team. The physical activity is certainly good for her. As is the social interaction. She seems to be completing her homework, even if it’s late when she finishes it. Her grades are fine, so far. And her own father says that this is How It Was even back in the golden era of the nineteen-nineties.

The calm doesn’t last particularly long, though. It doesn’t help that I am also getting less sleep than I prefer, and I’m much busier than I prefer. Maybe once those things resolve (will they resolve?) I will be more zen about Carla’s level of busyness.

Speaking of being more zen: The last time I posted here, which was eons and eons ago, I mentioned my fret about feeding the sports team. THANK YOU for pointing out that doing such a thing is inadvisable. I spent the first three weeks of school not signing up, and simply taking Carla some nourishment to eat between games. She eats WRAPS now, can you believe it? Ham, tomato, and lettuce. (I wrap the tomato and lettuce in the ham, so they don’t soggify the tortilla.) (Yes, we have decided to throw caution to the wind and get back on the lettuce train.) Other parents have been signing up to provide sustenance, and I have been observing what they bring. They are not bringing dinner, they are bringing SNACKS. I can totally bring snacks for the team. That’s much less daunting than providing an entire meal. Thanks for talking me down, internet.

And there’s the service guy who checked me in. My car is done, and so is this post.

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Bewildering Sports Sustenance Situation, Back-to-School Bedlam, and Dinners This Week

School starts this week, as do Sports. My husband starts a call week on Friday night. The chaos is ramping up and my only defense is running away Extreme Uptight Organization.

Let’s see if I can assemble all the elements necessary for meal planning.

Carla has Sports Events two nights this week. One night may or may not involve going to dinner at my in laws’ rental. Carla will not be eating at home three nights this week; however, I need to supply dinner for each sports event. In fact, I could supply dinner for all the kids on her team, but I cannot figure out how to access the spreadsheet of dinner volunteers one of the moms put together.

I feel a panicky slash grumpy digression about Sports Events Sustenance coming on. Gird yourself.

None of the parents wants to be in charge of organizing dinners for the kids, although the aforementioned mom did (supposedly) create a spreadsheet so we can sign up to bring food for each game. One of the other parents noted that her child doesn’t like sandwiches, which – well, honestly, Carla doesn’t like sandwiches either, but what the actual fuck is a person supposed to provide for dinners when sandwiches are off the table? There are only so many times the team can eat Chik-Fil-A nuggets for dinner, right? (Carla, perhaps, would disagree.) I am sure other people’s kids eat a variety of foods, but 99% of the things that a) my particular kid will eat that are b) nourishing and nutritionally balanced are IMPOSSIBLE FOODS to provide for sporting events.

First of all, I don’t even know when these kids are expected to eat; practice starts after school and games start at, like, 4:00 or 5:00. Are they planning to eat these meals on the bus? In the fifteen minutes between school and practice during which they are also expected to change?

Second of all, sure, a sandwich or some chicken nuggets seem fairly easy to scarf down in a few minutes, but the other things Carla likes (salmon! tacos! steak! meatballs!) seem much less easy if even doable for the venue. Other (semi) nourishing foods – like hummus and veggies or cheese and crackers – don’t strike me as calorically rich enough to sustain kids through an entire game, and that’s without mentioning that Carla won’t even eat hummus or any other sort of dip with her veggies. Nuts and nut butters are verboten, so there goes that source of high-calorie protein and fat. Maybe I could get away with creating some sort of charcuterie-esque “dinner,” with ham and pepperoni and cheese and veggies and fruit… but that sounds time consuming and logistically complicated (how would I serve it to a large group?) (keep in mind that I WORRY ABOUT GERMS AND FOOD SAFETY). Bagels and cream cheese and maybe some lunch meat has potential, but I don’t know how many bagels with cream cheese and lunch meat my kid will eat in a season. There’s pizza, I guess, but the other complicating factor is that the dinners need to be delivered by the parent (as in, not by Door Dash or a local delivery person) before the game starts, which means I would have to pick up pizza and take it immediately to wherever the kids are and sometimes I don’t want to do that.

In years past, we’ve stopped for dinner (usually Chik-Fil-A) after games, because my kid is starving… but I would really love to not do that, for so many reasons. One of which is the rumored extreme amp-up of homework this year. HOW is Carla going to do sports, homework, AND dinner and still get to bed early enough to ensure adequate sleep? What do other children eat for dinner? HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS? I am back to wanting to stride briskly into the sea.

My mother made us dinner every night when we were visiting their house. It was luxurious to have a home cooked meal to enjoy, but even more decadent was not having to think about what to make for dinners. But now *I* am the one in charge of the thinking and planning and making, and… well, I have to suck it up, Buttercup, because that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Or something.

Dinners for the Week of August 17

  • Szechuan Stir Fry: I bought the ingredients for a fresh veggie (and chicken) stir fry last week and haven’t been able to bring myself to assemble them into eating shape. Let’s not waste all those yummy veggies.
  • Greek Chicken with Cucumber-Feta Salad: This sounds good and summery and like it has potential for leftovers.
  • Crockpot Crispy Tinga Tacos with Avocado Jalapeno Crema: The crockpot is my bestie on days when there’s no clear timeframe for getting home. Plus maybe this will also produce leftovers?
  • Two Dinners for Sports Events: For one night, I think I’ll go with my charcuterie plate idea, at least for Carla. And maybe the bagel and cream cheese idea for the other night? Should I try to sign up to bring dinner for the whole team, or wait until later in the season? WHAT DO SPORTS TEAMS EAT FOR DINNER?????

That’s all the time I have for meal planning panic, Internet. I have a PT appointment, Carla has sports practice, there’s a mandatory school meeting, and some sort of orientation during which the kids are supposed to get their locker assignments. Let the Back-to-School Bedlam begin.

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Six for Saturday: Frets and Shopping and Shopping Frets

I am loving the thoughtful comments about whether or not I should tattoo eyebrows on myself. THANK YOU. I have truly found My People. 

Here are six things on my mind this morning. 

School Year Frets In Session: While it seems like a lot of the country has already headed back to school – in fact, school buses appeared this week in my neighborhood like a noisy flock of migratory birds – we are still holding onto the last tatters of summer with our teeth and fingernails. It has become increasingly difficult to ignore the impending school year, though. And I am STRESSED. Middle School, y’all. 

Maybe I need to write an entire post about all the things that are freaking me out about Middle School (top of the list: MY TINY BABY IS GOING TO MIDDLE SCHOOL), but right now I am thinking mainly about the schedule aspect of it. A bunch of wonderful extracurricular activities have manifested themselves, and I am doing my very best to walk the fine line between “my kid would LOVE that” and “if she does this activity we will all go insane.” For instance, there is a local activity that she would enjoy SO MUCH, but it begins at 3:45 after school and school pickup begins at 3:10 and it takes 30 minutes to drive between school and the activity, so it would be doable but only if I got to the carline at, like, 2:30 and she got out the door immediately at 3:10 and we didn’t hit any sort of traffic or need to pee or any of the other delays we have faced in the past. So. That activity is just not going to happen this year, and I have to trust that it will be available in a more workable form at some later time, or it just isn’t Meant to Be. 

We have also signed her up for two sports this fall, which is GREAT. But the one sport is notoriously weird about assigning practice slots – like, they wait until the week of to say, “Hey, your practice day and time is X,” and then they are unable to accommodate any change requests. I learned this the hard way last year, and fortunately the coach was very kind about allowing Carla to be on the team even though she was fifteen minutes late to every single practice because she had a conflicting extracurricular. So: I am trying to wait to find out the sports schedule before I schedule her for anything else, but that’s HARD, because spots are filling up. 

I did reach out to an instrumental teacher who comes highly recommended, because I guess I thought we would have some sort of conversation about Carla’s experience with this instrument and how practices go and whether there are recitals and what practice expectations are etc. etc., but instead the teacher wanted to know Carla’s availability and I don’t know that. Whoops. I guess I should have waited to reach out????

The other sport is going great, but Carla has no set lesson time. This worked fine during the summer, because it was the only thing we had going on. But I need to KNOW. I want to have a calendar that has everything arranged very neatly IN ADVANCE. 

There is an academic extracurricular I want Carla to take as well, but I am waiting until we know the schedule for the previously mentioned activities, and ideally I would want to see how school goes for awhile first, before adding it on, but I don’t know if that’s feasible???? 

And then Carla will probably try out for the school play, but auditions take place later in the fall so I cannot worry about it now. 

I know this sounds like A Lot, but it feels a little bit more workable than last year’s extra curricular schedule. At least now, when it is half formed and entirely theoretical. I just want things SET. 

Friend Visit Fret: While I am fretting about things, I might as well fret about an upcoming visit from my dearest friend. We have known each other for THIRTY-TWO YEARS which sounds bonkers to me. Anyway, she is coming to visit and I am so excited I can think of little else. It’s quite an emotional ping-pong match in my brain right now, what with the Middle School Scaries bopping around with the more Happy Excited Anticipatory Anxiety of hosting my friend. What will we DO? What should we EAT? Would it be nice for her to meet some of my Here Friends, or would that be weird for everyone? Do I need to schedule a bunch of touristy-type activities so she can experience the city? Or should we just take relaxing walks together and then hang out by the pool? I think she is looking more for the latter, in which case I need the weather to cooperate, but it might be nice to do one or two touristy-type things, just so she can say, “Yes, of course, when I was in City I did The Thing That City Is Known For” when people ask. 

Listen. This is my best friend. She is probably still going to be my best friend even if she has a boring time here, even if she hates my cooking, even if hanging out with an intensely enthusiastic eleven-year-old drives her bonkers. I KNOW THIS. 

Here’s why I am fretting: We have never spent this much time one-on-one together! In fact, the bulk of our relationship has taken place via phone. We used to see each other regularly once or twice a year, but I haven’t seen her in two years now, and before that it had been about a decade. Will we have enough to talk about? What if she gets annoyed with me???? Or sick of me??? Despite knowing each other for a million years, we are fairly new at voicing our needs with one another, so I am a little afraid she will just agree to whatever I suggest even if it doesn’t sound good or fun to her. Also, I am a little shy about her seeing me in Mom Mode, which sounds silly even as I’m writing it, but… the shyness is still there. She’s only met Carla once, and for a very short time, and I don’t know, it just feels weird to be this whole other person than I was when we grew up together.

Also, I have asked her some questions like if there are any foods she hates/won’t eat, but my knowledge of her likes and dislikes mainly comes from high school. It’s kind of amazing how LITTLE you can know about the day-to-day life and habits of someone you love very much. 

I am EXCITED, and I trust that it will be okay. But still, underneath all the happy anticipation is a little trepidation. 

My Garden Continues to Delight: Let’s move on to LESS STRESSFUL THINGS, shall we? My garden is still producing flowers and I am loving it. The hydrangea bushes are scaling back, but we have several hydrangea trees that are in bloom and they are SO pretty. We also have an abundance of coneflowers, which are not my favorite flower, but which look quite stunning in a big bunch. The hibiscus are blooming as well, and they are ALSO not my favorite flower (and wayyyyy too big and unwieldy to cut and display in a vase), but they are pretty and a nice vivid red. Now I just need the garden to continue to look gorgeous for a little longer so my friend can enjoy it. 

Who Recommended These Shoes? Because I LOVE Them: My plantar fasciitis is pretty well controlled these days, thank goodness, and I attribute that to regular shoe-wearing in the house. Usually I wear sneakers, but I have been wanting to try out some flip flops because I hate wearing socks, and it is a pain to tie and untie my sneakers all day long. I’ve had this pair of flip flops in my amazon cart for AGES, and I am pretty sure someone told me they were amazing which is why I added them to my cart. But I only just bought them in the past few weeks, and I love them so much. If you were the one who recommended them: THANK YOU.

They are much cuter than I expected; I guess I thought because they are “orthotic” that they would automatically be clunky and ugly, and they are not. Best of all, they are SO COMFORTABLE. I am getting a second pair to wear outside of the house because I love them so much. (Also, they are $30 right now, down from $50, so if you are looking for magic flip flops, this is a good time to go for it!)

How to Eat a Cucumber: There is just no way to write this bullet point that doesn’t sound like a euphemism, but please trust that I am looking for RECIPE IDEAS. 

My husband brought home a cucumber one of his colleagues brought home from work. I am looking for creative ways to prepare this cucumber for consumption. (I don’t really like cucumbers.) I could make a big Greek salad, which I enjoy. But it is QUITE a large cucumber, and also I feel like that’s a little boring??? Maybe I should make this green goddess cucumber salad? Or this creamy cucumber salad? Or this smashed chili-soy cucumber salad? What’s your favorite cucumber recipe?

The Fall Birthday Procession Cometh: Okay I guess we’re back to fretting. ALL THE BIRTHDAYS are coming up in September and October and I am wholly unprepared and have no idea what to get anyone. My brother and his wife are typically very “no gifts, thanks” kind of people, but I would love to get them something little if possible. (They are both outdoorsy, they have a cat.) My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are always baffling, from a What to Give Them perspective. My friend who is visiting will have just had a birthday when she arrives, so I kind of want to have something here for her. (She is a runner and an avid gardener. I am thinking something garden-y? We don’t usually give each other presents, so I have no idea what she might want or need!) My husband’s birthday is also coming up! I have NO IDEA AT ALL what to give him! My mind is a complete blank. The only things that I know he has been looking at buying are a) a new external hard drive, which is a useful but way-too-boring gift, and plus I would need him to give me the exact specifications of the one he wants which would spoil whatever level of “surprise” goes along with “I got you an external hard drive for your birthday,” or b) a new travel backpack, but that again seems like something he’d really want to choose for himself. I guess it’s more exciting than a hard drive, but that’s not really saying much, is it? 

Help???? Do you have any idea, based on the Very Limited Information I have shared about all of these complete strangers to you, what should I get them???? I am so bad at gift giving, and this year I feel especially useless. 

And all these birthdays are right before CHRISTMAS, so there will need to be gifts for all of these people – and more! – again, and ugh. 

Okay, Internet. That’s all I have for you today. Shoe recommendations and flower brags and double entendres and tons of random fretting. Hope you have a glorious weekend!