I really hate making phone calls

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Weekend Breakdown

How was your weekend, Internet?

Here in the USofA, it was a holiday weekend. From a Companionship and Connection standpoint, it was a standout weekend. I am trying so very hard to hold onto the warm fuzzies I have from spending time with dear friends and beloved family members, but I will be honest: I am cranky.

Content Note: What follows is some whining from a highly privileged and wildly fortunate individual who really has nothing to complain about. I don’t blame you if you don’t have time for that, so I’ll see you on the flippity flop.

My husband got Friday off, which meant that instead of going into the office and seeing patients, he went upstairs to his home office and dealt with insurance companies and pathology reports and patient calls from home. Sure, he got to sleep in and wear shorts and a T-shirt and he didn’t have to commute. Still… That’s not really a day off.

Also, the WEATHER, my god. The weather has been my absolute least favorite, unless you count “active tornado” which is worse. It has been SO HOT and SO HUMID and I HATE IT.

Friday afternoon was miserable.

Thank goodness we have a brand new air conditioner and a pool!

Except that last week, my daughter’s room was hovering around 80F (26C) at night. The HVAC guy had warned me, after the installation, that our AC had been off for a full day, so the second floor of the house would take a couple of days to get back to temperature. But… 80 degrees after four days of waiting seemed reasonable enough. Also, we had two VIPs arriving that afternoon, and a third later that evening, and I did not want them to be sweaty and uncomfortable.  

Fortunately, the HVAC guy was working on Friday and came right over and very enthusiastically tested the velocity of our air output from each register and measured the temperature of the air coming out and checked all the connections and did a bunch of other things and by the end of his visit, things were cooling down.

AC accounted for, I went out to clean the pool. (Well, I didn’t clean it, I let the pool guy do it.) The previous owners thoughtfully installed an automatic pool cover, which has been wonderful. The pool stays fairly clean, the water doesn’t evaporate as much, we have fewer critters leaping to their deaths in the water. But it would not open. And it was SO HOT. Together with my husband, we coaxed it into opening about halfway, but then it refused to move any further. Listen, I know the VIPs would have been gracious about not being able to swim, I know this. And yet. Plus, my daughter was having a friend over and I much prefer having lots of outdoor options for kids to relying on a cooling-but-still-too-hot room and a bunch of tempting screens.

Fortunately, the pool service person was working Friday! He sent out his best guy, who managed to open the pool cover. But, he noted, it will not close. We’ll have to get a pool cover specialist to come address it. Can’t wait.

Saturday morning, my daughter notified us that there was something wrong with her ceiling. We trooped into her room (cooler, thank goodness) for a look. Hmm. A suspiciously leak-like circle surrounded a tiny crack in the plaster.

Yesterday, my husband was unloading the dishwasher while I was trying to write. He opened a cupboard to put something away, and the glass lid of a casserole dish leapt out at him and shattered into smithereens on the kitchen floor. It hit the counter on the way down, leaving plenty of smithereens all over that, as well. Thank goodness it didn’t land on his foot. But the poor guy had large hunks of glass ON his bare feet and said he wasn’t sure how or where to move.

Fortunately, after a three-stage cleanup, we got the glass taken care of with minimal bleeding.

Then I got my period for the second time in about twelve years (I take oral contraceptive pills to prevent that; it should not be happening.)

Then I got a notification from Costco that my contact lens order hadn’t gone through because my prescription was outdated.

Then my daughter notified us that her ceiling looked worse.

Then I discovered my cat had knocked a section of staples off my desk and batted them across the room. I don’t think he ate any of them – he doesn’t really EAT things, except food and plants – but I don’t know that he didn’t eat any of them. All the online resources I consulted said a) this is an emergency, call the vet immediately or b) this is not an emergency unless he shows XYZ symptoms, watch him carefully or c) give him food right away to help get the foreign object through his system or d) absolutely do NOT give him food because it could cause or worsen a blockage.

“I would never eat a staple.”

Of course I had nightmares all night, mainly about being pregnant and the baby not doing well. This morning, I noticed that the house felt warmer than it should be, and when I call for cooler temperatures, it doesn’t do anything right away (at all?). The ceiling crack is holding steady, but we are expecting more thunderstorms and more rain.

Today, of course, I have been making all the calls (and you know I love phone calls) (no): To my eye doctor, to update my prescription. To Costco, whose online platform allows me to cancel my previous order, but does not allow me to update or change my prescription. To the pool cover people. To the roofing contractor who is handling our as-yet-not-started roof replacement. Do I call the vet (the cat is behaving totally normally, including eating and producing waste as usual)? Do I call my primary about the spotting? Do I call the HVAC guy?

Yes, I acknowledge that I am very lucky that THESE are my biggest problems. I am grateful to have experts to call (if they would only call me back) and grateful to have the resources to address the issues.

I AM STILL CRANKY.

Okay, deep breaths. Let’s combat the crankiness with some reflection on the absolutely wonderful parts of the weekend.

  • My time with the VIPs was fabulous. It is so rare for me to find people I like and like spending time with, if that makes sense? Even with people whose company I really enjoy, I often end up feeling depleted of energy at the end of our time together, which is not a reflection on them, that’s just my introverted personality. But the VIPs were the opposite. They charged my social battery instead of draining it, and I was sad to say goodnight at the end of our time together, and I hope to see them again sometime soon.
  • Saturday was a quintessentially perfect summer day. My whole family slept in (with a brief wake-up for me at 5:30ish to feed and play with the cat, who slept in until 6:00!) and then spent the afternoon in the pool. It was hot enough that the pool felt wonderful and breezy enough that the heat was tolerable.
  • Fourth of July was pretty great. My family typically spends July Fourth in the basement, feeling crotchety toward our neighbors who set off fireworks. To be clear, this is our preferred way to observe Independence Day. But I asked a friend what she was doing for the holiday and she told me, and then asked what I was doing, and when I said nothing she either took pity on me or thought I was angling for an invitation to her event, because she invited my family to join hers. We had such a nice time! She is my friend for a reason, and she and her family are lovely and welcoming and it was actually kind of nice to celebrate the holiday instead of boycott it. The day’s promised thunderstorms never materialized, and the weather was less humid than it had been. The evening ended with a fireworks show that was the perfect amount of spectacular and the perfect length. I had forgotten the special kind of buoyant unity that fireworks can inspire. And by the time we got home, our neighbors had nearly finished their own fireworks show, so we only had to endure a few pops and booms.
  • The extreme heat may be ebbing. Not only is today supposed to hover around 77F (25C), but the weather forecast suggests that we are taking a turn toward the high 70s/mid 80s (24/30C), which sounds a hell of a lot more pleasant than last week.
  • My cat continues to be The Best Cat.
Here he is, glaring at me because I am Outside and he is Inside. He disagrees with my assessment that his triple-layer coat is incompatible with our current temperatures.

Okay, as per usual, being grateful has shifted my mood toward the positive. Thank you for reading. If you have any complaints, big or small, I am happy to listen!  

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Friday Randomosity: Distraction by Shopping and Cat Edition

I love you and appreciate you. Thank you for being here.

Here are some random thoughts cluttering up my brain this morning.

  • One of the things I most frequently say to Carla is, “Tools only help if you use them.” Well, lately I have been having a hell of a time following my own advice. I’ve been consistently waking up at about 5:30 these days, which is working for a lot of reasons (and is really working for the cat). But for some reason, this shift has caused me to repeatedly forget to take my morning medication. My medication has always been on my nightstand, and my husband is often still asleep when I creep out of the room, and I don’t want to risk waking him up by rattling a bunch of pills. Obviously, just because I have always kept my medicine on my nightstand doesn’t mean I need to continue doing so! I could move them into the bathroom, or into my office, or the kitchen. Or! I could use the pill organizer I already own – and have neglected since my summer visit to my parents’ house – and have my morning medications all ready to go in the same tiny compartment. The tool is RIGHT THERE. Why is it so difficult for me to PUT IT TO USE?
It really is a useful little fella.
  • Speaking of getting up early: I have a plan for getting up earlier. My plan is to continue waking up at the same time I do now even once the clocks change. The cat refuses to adhere to human constructs like Daylight Savings, so I know he will help me by continuing to come into my room to apply his purr-and-bite wake-up system directly to my person. This way, I will soon be waking up at 4:30, and then, MAYBE, I will be able to exercise and shower before I start my day. 
  • By the way, every time my actual alarm goes off at 5:21 and I hit snooze so I can play Wordle and Connections on my phone and cuddle my purring kitten, I think of Sarah and how she referred to this behavior as “bed rot.” The term is amusing enough (I visualize myself slowly rotting like an old zucchini) that it does not spur me out of bed immediately at 5:21, although it is visceral enough that I no longer stay in bed after my snooze alarm sounds at 5:30. Thank you, Sarah, for the motivating morning visual.  
  • My eyes have been doing this thing where they suddenly sting and start streaming tears and I can’t see properly for a long time. The phenomenon has happened maybe ten times in the past couple of years (and definitely started pre-kitten, so there is no need to blame Lenny, not that you would), but it started happening more frequently in August and September. It seems to strike out of nowhere, sometimes in the morning, sometimes later in the day. I haven’t identified any specific trigger. I do all the things: take out my contacts, remove any makeup I’m wearing, flush my eyes with water. A few times, I’ve had to lie on my back with a damp washcloth on my eyes. I reported this issue to the eye doctor who suggested eye drops for dry eyes, so I use those as a preventive measure. But it occurred to me recently that maybe I’m allergic to my mascara? I love drugstore mascaras, like Maybelline The Falsies and L’Oreal Voluminous False Fiber Lashes. In fact, I purchased a tube of Maybelline Lash Sensational Firework mascara in early September. It seemed that I mostly had these weird reactions when I was wearing mascara; maybe I was allergic to it? So I took myself to Google and read a bunch of articles about the best mascara for sensitive eyes and ended up buying this one. Yes, it is $28 (even on amazon), which is FAR more than I typically prefer to spend on my mascara. But oh how I love it! It makes my lashes nice and long. It doesn’t seem to clump. My eyes haven’t had a single reaction in the weeks I’ve been using it. And, best of all, it comes off my lashes without having to use paint thinner. I suppose it’s still early days, and my eyes could decide to revolt against this mascara… or perhaps there is something totally unrelated to mascara that is causing the stinging/tearing issue. But right now, I am in LOVE with this mascara.
  • Speaking of things I love lately, I am really into this guacasalsa from Trader Joe’s. It’s possible I’ve mentioned this before, but I forgot about it for awhile. It’s really good – slightly tangy, slightly creamy, neither guacamole nor (very mild) salsa. I love it on chicken tacos but it is good on nachos, too.
Can you spot the cat in this photo? He is obsessed with the fridge and freezer and will scamper into the kitchen any time we open them.
  • Back to discussing makeup. I have never been a person who wears foundation. I don’t like it. But it seems like maybe foundation – or other products with similar benefits to foundation – has improved since I last wore it, which was at my senior prom in 1999. What I want is something that goes on and feels like a moisturizer but has some sort of blurring/smoothing effect as to even out my skin and hide my undereye circles. What I don’t want is something that makes me skin a different color than my neck, or something that looks cakey or flaky, or something that emphasizes my wrinkles by cracking around my mouth or eyes. Does this magical product exist? Bonus points if it works with sensitive skin (my skin is prone to break outs if cosmetics even glance my way). I think I am looking for a tinted serum, but… that’s as far as I’ve gotten. What do you use?
  • Older kids are amazing part 324: Carla did all the Halloween decorating this year! I am so pleased with how it turned out. All I had to do was bring the box of Halloween decorations upstairs and she took care of the rest. Are things arranged the exact way I would have arranged them? Nope. Do I care? Not one bit. (Update: Lenny / Leo has decided the decorations don’t scare him.)
Cat and pumpkin have achieved an uneasy peace… for now.
  • Colorful leaves are not the only view I enjoy about fall. Right now, I am loving the Halloween decorations I see as I drive. While I know it’s not for everyone, Halloween is such a delightful time of year for me. I’m not even really into it the way a lot of people are, but it’s a season of pure joy (and chills) that has no expectations besides sharing a bit of candy. I love everything – the super scary scenes, the animatronic ghosts and ghouls, the yards that have a million zombies, the roving orange spotlights on people’s houses, the arrangements of pumpkin and squash, the giant skeletons, the inflatable spiders. My only question is where do people KEEP their Halloween decorations during the off season? All of my decorations (except for one stand-up ghost) fit into a single plastic bin and I love that. Some yards showcase so many skeletons and zombies, I wonder if the owners have a separate storage space just for their decorations.
These guys are going through some things.
  • It’s been super rainy this week, as befits the latter half of October. I do hope we get some warm, dry weather for Halloween. For the first time ever, Carla will be trick-or-treating at a friend’s house instead of at our house. Wait. No, for the second time ever. (We went to a friend’s house when Carla was in… pre-K? I can’t quite remember.) Even though I think Carla and her friends are kind of at that borderline age for trick-or-treating (which is not to say I oppose anyone of any age trick-or-treating) so I hope this year is spectacular for them. My kiddo has gone around and around about her costume. Originally she wanted to be one of the characters from KPop Demon Hunters, which is a phenomenon I still find baffling, but whatever, you do you, teens. Then she was waffling between Wednesday or Enid from Wednesday. She went with the latter, which seems to be a good choice; I’ve heard that KPop Demon Hunters is such a popular costume that people are having trouble finding it. And I am NOT a Make Your Own Costume person. I mean, I would support Carla in making her own costume, but I don’t sew and I’m not creative about sourcing inexpensive ways to put a costume together. Which is to say that we bought a costume online. Carla was eager to dye her hair, and I was not, so the costume element I am most excited about is a pack of colorful hair extensions. When I bought them, they were $6.99 – I price I gladly paid to prevent Carla from using hair chalk, which I loathe. Now I just have to figure out how to install (?) them in her hair so they look good! 
The kitten is FURIOUS that *I* am outside and *he* is inside.
  • What are you doing for winter outerwear these days? It was in the mid 40s (8.3 C) and raining when I went for a walk yesterday. I had to wear a heavier jacket than usual and I discovered that it is NOT waterproof. Don’t get me wrong – I adore my jacket, it’s cute, it’s comfortable, it’s lightweight, it’s super warm. And it’s not like it claims to be waterproof. It’s “water repellant.” But apparently it repels water only for so long, and then the rain soaks through into your arms. The cooler temperatures reminded me, though, that Carla needs a new winter coat this year. She’d been wearing a hand-me-down from a friend for the past two years, but now her wrists extend far beyond the sleeves so it’s time to get something new. Ugh. She also needs new snow pants and snow boots. In the past, I got her winter outerwear from Lands End – the snowpants were waterproof and had reinforced knees and I always bought them in a larger size so they would last two years. But she no longer fits in kid sizes. Wait a second – Lands End actually has sizes up to 15-16 years. AND they have a slim line. Maybe I have answered my own question! Boots though. Those are always trickier. I have SUCH a hard time buying expensive footwear when I know it’s only going to last a year. I wish I had Elisabeth’s thrifting eye, but I don’t; thrifting makes me feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable, and it’s not like I even know of any good local thrift shops. Which snow boots do you wear and/or buy for your kids?
  • Let’s talk about something that’s unrelated to spending money! Carla has a parent / teacher conference coming up and, as usual, I am anxious about it. Her school doesn’t do conferences with individual teachers, although I assume I could set some up if I wanted to. Instead, we meet with a teacher who sees her for something like homeroom. Fortunately, this homeroom teacher is also Carla’s instructor for a core class, so at least I can get some in-depth understanding of how she’s doing in one key subject. I never feel prepared or satisfied for conferences. The teachers usually have a prepared list of things they go through, and then answer questions. But we only have thirty minutes together, and a homeroom teacher can only address so many things about a class she doesn’t teach. Carla is having a tough year on several different fronts, so I really want to understand how I can support her at home, but I don’t know the right questions to ask or how to find a balance between support system and helicopter mom. The whole thing stresses me out. Parenting is IMPOSSIBLE. It is so hard to see your child struggle and not be able to step in and fix everything. Ah, okay, now I understand why I just want to write about frivolous shopping needs. Much less stressful.
  • It’s Friday and I still have yet to make a single phone call on my list. The anxiety of making the phone call is a big part of the battle, but the other half is the knowledge that one phone call rarely resolves anything. As Birchie said when I first moaned about not wanting to make any of these calls, “Up to the point where I make the call, it’s just one item on my to-do list. Once I make the call the task expands to 10 items.” PREACH. And yet I do need to make these stupid calls. One of them should be fairly simple: scheduling our flu and Covid shots. Carla’s pediatrician will provide shots to parents, too, which is fabulous. I am going to make this call today. I am. Ugh. I should probably also schedule our furnace check-up. That should be a pretty easy one. The others can wait until next week / never. Are there any phone calls you are delaying? 
  • Have you “inherited” any weirdly specific things from your parents? The other night, I was writing down the word “believe” for Carla (for some reason I could not remember how to spell it without looking at it; my brain is SO fuzzy these days), and then I caught sight of it the next morning and thought for a moment that my mom had written it. Somehow, she and I have very similar handwriting. How? Is handwriting a genetic trait?
I didn’t say my handwriting was *legible.*

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for now. What random things are rattling around in your mind today?