July 10, 2026 by suzanne day by day

Yet Again Overthinking My Kid’s Birthday Party

“I don’t think we need a theme this year, do we?”

So mused my husband, when he and I were discussing plans for our daughter’s thirteenth birthday party. This is one of those times when I wonder if he’s ever met me. Do we know each other? Of course we need a theme. I love a theme. A theme is a balm to my control enthusiast soul. I have no power over whether people attend a party, or like the food, or enjoy themselves, but I can fucking well ensure that the décor et al revolves around a central motif.

I think I’ve already told you that my daughter expressed enthusiasm for a 90s theme. Which I suggested because her party will involve two of the nineties-est things I can think of: roller skating and a slumber party.

(Yes, yes, I know. Once again, despite my many, many qualms about sleepovers, I have caved to my daughter’s desire for a slumber party. I have no justification for this behavior.)

My recompense is that I get to lean fully into the 90s theme.

Ambiance

I think we will go super simple with the décor, and get a complete set of party supplies. Maybe do some little 90s-themed hanging swirls.

Carla is working on a 90s playlist. I am impressed by her existing repertoire of 90s music! She already knows songs from the Spice Girls, No Doubt, The Offspring, Smash Mouth, and Alanis Morissette, and there are so many fun songs we can add to the mix.

Party Favors

Kids of Carla’s age may be, I suspect, Over It when it comes to gift bags. My preference has usually been to get a single item that we give away to each partygoer – like a book or an anklet or a beach towel. I think there’s a higher chance they will use those things, while a bunch of cheap plastic stuff will end up in the garbage or cluttering up the kids’ houses (and annoying their parents).

This year, I have allowed nostalgia to override my better judgement. Carla found these delightfully tacky boombox favor boxes, and we are going to fill them with an assortment of things I remember fondly from my childhood: mini troll dolls, Koosh balls, jelly bracelets, Warheads, and ring pops. Carla also wanted to include these key rings, and why not.

My husband suggested getting every kid a Beanie Baby, which is a super fun idea. I let that plan fizzle when I realized I would have to get everyone the exact same Beanie Baby, or figure out which specific variety of Beanie Baby to get and instantly felt overwhelmed. Plus, the ones being sold today are different from the ones we had in the 90s… and I didn’t want to deal with finding “authentic/vintage” versions.

Food

Dinner will be pizza. Carla has requested lemon meringues, with cupcakes for people who don’t like meringues. (I found these darling on-theme cupcake wrappers and toppers.)

I do think that we’ll need some additional food. Listen. I could 100% buy a few bags of chips and some candy and popcorn and let the kids have at it. Probably that is what I will do.

But my let’s-make-things-more-complicated heart wants to – you guessed it – make things more complicated. This mainly derives from my feeling that cheese pizza is not an adequate dinner for a growing child. Did I eat cheese pizza at many a birthday party, let alone for many Friday night dinners, as a kid? Oh yes, so many times. Do I have any qualms whatsoever when my kid goes to a birthday party and the dinner is pizza? Not at all. Is the only reason I can’t say the same for many, many meals as an adult ONLY because I no longer eat plain cheese pizza and prefer pizza to include pepperoni? Very much yes.

Still. Allow me to fantasize about my ideal slumber party menu, okay? And we’ll agree that this won’t happen in real life, and I will lean in to the chips and popcorn thing.

My (fantasy) criteria are: 1) is something Carla likes, 2) includes protein, 3) probably won’t stain my couch/carpet, 4) is cute and/or fun, 5) is nut and dairy free.

Here are the things that fit those criteria:

If I didn’t feel quite as bad about over-sugaring the kids / wasn’t worried about ruining my furniture/house / had attendees who could all eat dairy, I would totally do a hot chocolate bar and some s’mores dip and maybe some sheet pan nachos.

We will also be feeding these teens breakfast. Breakfast is not my area of expertise, so my vote is for donuts. Why, yes, that does directly contradict all my high-and-mighty posturing about “cheese pizza not being good enough.” So perhaps we should make sheet pan pancakes and some scrambled eggs with a side of fruit instead.

Entertainment

While I am still thinking wistfully about the idea of a Taskmaster party, I have resigned myself to reserving that for a future date. After all, the kids will get to roller skate and then (hopefully, weather permitting) swim, and they can always watch movies. Nonetheless, I am of course stressing about how to keep these teens entertained while in my home. I would love to have a few ideas in my pocket, just in case they get bored. I think we can all agree: bored teens pose a danger to themselves and others.

Carla specifically wants to play a game called either “pass the parcel” or “saran ball game.” My understanding of this game is that we choose a variety of tiny prizes (lip balms, stickers, scrunchies, candy) and wrap each prize in a bunch of saran wrap. Then each kid has a set amount of time to free a prize without ripping the saran wrap before passing the parcel to the next kid. The big challenge, I think, will be choosing prizes that are simultaneously fun enough to keep the kids occupied, silly enough that someone who doesn’t get a prize doesn’t feel too upset, and inexpensive enough that I don’t need to resort to selling feet pictures to pay for the party. In the “pass the parcel” version of this game, or so Carla informs me, there is a Big Prize in the very center of the layers of wrapping; she does not want that, because it feels unfair. But it also seems as though there’s no guarantee that a person will get a prize during their turn anyway, so I’m not sure how “fair” the game is. In any case, it might be fun to have a couple of slightly higher-end prizes in the sticker/scrunchie mix – perhaps a World’s Smallest Care Bear or Slinky??? Or maybe a gift card to an ice cream shop or Five Below?

I also think that having a photo scavenger hunt could be potentially fun. (This is a leftover from my Taskmaster fantasizing.) But maybe that can be a spur-of-the-moment option that I can offer if the kids are bored by everything else. Don’t worry; I will overthink it into oblivion just in case.

As I mentioned earlier, movies are a great, classic option for keeping the kids busy, too. I do tend to fret about WHICH movies they will want to watch. Carla’s friends occupy both ends of the “I’ve seen everything up and including Squid Games” and “I still mainly watch Disney movies” spectrum, so I feel a little uneasy about leaving the choice to them. Carla and I had a little chat about it, and she thinks that she can guide the options a bit, so that no one is going to be forced into watching, like, Midsommar or, I don’t know, Eyes Wide Shut.

Since I am, as stated, obsessed with a theme, I of course would vote for 90s classics. Clueless and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Of course, most of the 90s classics I think of as fun and harmless have aged poorly, I’m looking at you Austin Powers.

Here is the point at which you kindly, gently overlook my latest birthday party related bout of insanity, and instead tell me:

What are the best slumber party foods?
Which 90s songs MUST go on the playlist?
Which 90s movies MUST the teens watch?
What are the best slumber party games?
What am I forgetting, besides the undeniable fact that the teens will do whatever they want and I really have no say at all?

July 1, 2026 by suzanne day by day

Wordy Wednesday Wandering

June was a whirlwind, wasn’t it? I am still trying to wrap my mind around how it can possibly be July already. The past few days alone included: picking up my child from sleepaway camp, observing a belated Father’s Day with my husband, buying a new car, getting a new air conditioner installed, and celebrating my daughter’s birthday. For those of you who have been around since I was on the fence about having kids: THE KID IS NOW THIRTEEN.

I could only find the “birthday” portion of the “happy birthday” banner, which I think it more of an indication of my current level of discombobulation than lack of delight at my kiddo becoming a teenager.

I have been doing SO MUCH laundry, and there is stuff (camp stuff, gift detritus, air conditioner replacement debris) everywhere, and I cannot stay on top of the mess.

*This looks much neater and tidier than it FEELS. It FEELS like being slowly suffocated on all sides by Stuff.*

(Alert, alert: Lisa and Nicole, you may want to skip the next two paragraphs and the photo between them.)

The air conditioner replacement was a fun surprise. I scheduled a simple clean-and-check with my HVAC company, and the technician discovered that all the wiring had been devastated by mice. In fact, the only thing that was preventing the wires from being exposed completely was a giant mouse nest. I think you know how I feel about this, which is burn it all down.

*How can something so small and kind of cute be so destructive?!?!*

We’d already spent a pretty penny to deal with previous mouse-related air conditioning carnage, back in April of 2024, and it was one of those deals where we could shell out a bunch of money to repair the old unit, which could of course die at any moment and has already proved much too welcoming to rodents… or shell out more money for a new, slightly-more-mouse-resistant unit. Considering this week is in the 90s (30s C), we went with the latter option.

The air conditioner is not doing a whole lot for the top floor yet. Carla slept with her camp fan clipped to her bedframe last night. It really does a great job of cooling. (We got it for camp because it is one of the few options that requires only batteries, and not some sort of USB charger to keep it powered on.) Several of the stores we’ve been to recently have been selling fans, which makes me feel like I need more fans. But Carla and I plan to spend as much time in or near the pool as possible, as a heat-beating measure. She has a new turtle pool float and I have pool hammocks to lounge in and copious amounts of sunscreen.

I have been exploring all the delicious options for hot-weather meals that involve no cooking whatsoever; we had chickpea salad sandwiches last night, on homemade sourdough bread that my husband’s colleague sent home with him. I am planning on making a cold noodle salad later this week, or a Mediterranean platter, or possibly another round of sandwiches, this time with this version of chickpea salad.

*Interrupting my husband’s day seeing patients with really crucial discussions.*

Carla and I spent the afternoon of her birthday shopping, which was delightful and exhausting. She wanted to go into every tchotchke / novelty items boutique within a ten mile radius. Our adventure included Five Below, Home Goods, Michaels, Hobby Lobby, Target, and the Dollar Store. We also went to Pet Smart, to look at the kitties.

During our expedition, we passed a new international foods store and had to check it out. They had a variety of snacks and treats from different countries. I snagged a bag of coriander flavored Doritos which are my new favorite thing. They taste just like cilantro and are SO GOOD.

Carla was more interested to learn that this store sold squishies and fidgets that are currently all the rage. She persuaded her father to buy her a NeeDoh Fuzz Ball, but then when we got home, she noticed that it doesn’t have the NeeDoh logo on it. We got squishy scammed, y’all. My thought is that this store had no idea they were selling counterfeit NeeDohs, and so I am hoping we can go back and inform them about the problem, maybe get our money back, and definitely get some more coriander chips.

If you live in the U.S., are you celebrating Independence Day? I dislike this holiday because of the fireworks. They are loud and dangerous and it seems like a lot of people take the expansive view that the entire month of July is for setting off firecrackers in their yards at all hours of the day and night. I get very Grumpy Old Lady about the whole thing, and my husband and I typically prefer to spend the holiday holed up in our basement, grumbling about our neighbors (him) and fretting that a rogue firework will set our home ablaze (me). (Last year, we woke up on July 5 to find our driveway littered with spent firework shells.)

My in laws sent my whole family holiday apparel. This was a very kind gesture, and 250 years is a momentous anniversary. For all its flaws, I love my country. We have freedoms and opportunities here that I try not to take for granted. It is exciting and remarkable that we have reached this semiquincentennial milestone. And… I kind of feel that expressing any kind of patriotism gives an inaccurate impression of my beliefs and politics. I’ve driven past a lot of houses over the past month or so that have cheerful American flag bunting on their fences, or little American flags planted in their yards, or patriotic signs trumpeting their enthusiasm for the anniversary, and part of me feels a little lift of festive joy… and another part of me feels like I have an immediate – and quite possibly biased and wrong! – insight into what kind of people they might be and what kind of beliefs they may hold. UGH. By the way: I am not saying that people more conservative than I am are “bad;” I know many people across the political spectrum who are good, kind, loving people… who simply have different views on some topics than I do. I don’t know. It’s kind of unfair, is what I’m saying, that a symbol of unity should instead carry with it the weight of judgment. As usual, I am not the first or the most articulate person to note this; but it’s particularly noteworthy to me as we inch closer to the Fourth of July.

Let’s turn to a less controversial topic, which is my cat. Poor Lenny was shut away in my room for SIX HOURS while the new air conditioner was being installed, because the HVAC people kept going in and out of the house. He bore the injustice of his imprisonment with dignity. But he did develop a winky eye, which of course made me worry that he had something seriously wrong with him. Carla and I took multiple videos and photos of him, and examined his winky eye in various lights from various angles. I envisioned eye drop prescriptions and Rachel Green-style interactions and surgical intervention and loss of the eye. I called the vet and asked their opinion; their opinion is always “bring him in.” I scheduled the first available appointment, forgetting that there were five (5) strangers meandering in and out of my house for the foreseeable future. I called the vet back and got a later appointment. I fretted as the appointment approached because the HVAC people were STILL THERE. Finally, with about forty minutes to spare, the HVAC people left. I released the cat from my room so he could use the litter box. When he reappeared, his winky eye had resolved completely.

I had texted my husband earlier in the day to alert him to the cat’s almost certain blindness. His response was “Maybe an eggshell.” This requires some backstory, which is that my husband’s colleague sent him home with some fresh eggs the other day, from her chickens. She’d packaged the eggs in a little clear egg carton and had included some instructions with them that said they should be stored on the counter. Well. Lenny was obsessed with the eggs. He must have been able to smell chicken on them? He didn’t bother them until there were only two left. At which point, I came home from Carla’s birthday shopping extravaganza to find the carton overturned on the floor, one egg completely unharmed, and the other broken. I cleaned everything up, returned the surviving egg to the carton, and put a package of insect repellent refills on top of it to make it more difficult to bat off the counter. Not difficult enough, it turns out. The next morning, we came into the kitchen to find the eggshell I’d rinsed and left on the counter to dry once again on the floor, the makeshift carton weight on the counter, and the egg carton on the floor. The remaining egg was still intact. Hence my husband’s assumption that eggshell was the source of Lenny’s winky eye.

I made crème brûlée for Carla’s birthday dessert, per her request. The recipe called for five egg yolks, and I saved the shells because I read that they can deter slugs. Which I think are destroying both my coleus plants and one of my hydrangea trees. I love how pretty the eggshells are, or were before I baked them and crushed them. I hope they help my coleus plants! This is the third year I’ve planted coleus in the same location, and the first time that I’ve had an issue.

What’s up with you this Wednesday? How hot is it where you are? What are you making to eat when you don’t want to turn on the oven?

June 24, 2026 by suzanne day by day

Wednesday Randomosity: Various Small Updates and Summer Shopping Edition

My darling cat is OBSESSED with going outside. At least, I think that is the reason he now meows at me all the time. Even though taking him outside makes some people extremely nervous (Hi Mom! I love you!), I persist for two reasons: 1. I want him to be familiar enough with “outside” to know where his house is, if he ever gets outside by accident, and to feel like he is not in a completely alien environment, and 2. I am in constant search of “enrichment” opportunities for him, and being outside is a great way to tire him out.

He wears a harness and I hold tightly to it at all times. His top favorite outdoor activities are rolling luxuriously on the pavers, watching birds, sniffing the air, and trying to eat various grasses and leaves that I’m SURE are poisonous. (I do not allow him to do this last thing, in case you were worried.)

Guess what? The GRILL IS GONE!!!!! I paid a junk removal company to remove it, along with some other junk we had lying around, and they removed all the junk and I feel so light and free! Worth every penny.

In other outdoor updates, my mystery plant is beginning to flower. Lauren says it is probably a phlox, and I would trust Lauren with my life in a plant-related situation (quite possibly in several other situations as well, which feels like a weird thing to say about a person I know solely through the internet, but here we are), and I am super eager for the flowers to bloom so we can know for sure.

Meandering along with more plant talk, I have serious flower envy. I feel like my flowers bloom later and with less abundance than my neighbors’ flowers, and I want to know their secrets. One of my neighbors has several hydrangeas in front of her house and they are in full, glorious bloom, while mine are barely eking out a blossom here and there. Surely there is something I could do, involving fertilizer or plant food or gentle lullabies, but I am reluctant to mess with plants that are at least growing. My lavender is looking lush and gorgeous, and my astilbe is flourishing this year like never before, and my magnolia tree is putting out gorgeous and fragrant flowers, so I should probably stop complaining.

You know what else is flowering? Yes, I am still talking about plants. The three zucchini plants I grew from seed. And yet, they are only producing male flowers! WTF?!

Okay, one more plant topic, which is that I immediately bought the grow lights that Kate recommended for my indoor plants and I am excited to set them up and see if they have any effect on my light-starved little friends. (The lights are on sale for Prime Day, and I will note that the sale is for $55.97, down from $79.95, and I paid $63.96 for them last week.)

Oh, I lied. I have ANOTHER plant update, which is that I went searching for replacement palms and ended up coming home with two giant ferns.

Let’s stay outside for a second and talk about summer essentials. Even though I know all the reasons to avoid Amazon, I do find it convenient and cost-effective enough to continue using it. Especially when the other options are so much less convenient and/or more expensive and/or don’t have the things I need. I feel guilty about this; I continue to search for ways to reduce my reliance on Amazon; and I still use it. Anyway. Prime Day is this week and so I’m taking the opportunity to load up on some summer essentials. Refills for my Thermacell mosquito repellent are at the top of the list. (By the way, if you don’t have one yet, it is on sale for $19.79; I got it for my parents last summer for $32.99. I love this thing so much because it works. It’s an excellent housewarming or hostess gift for people who spend a lot of time outdoors.) Another summer essential is my favorite moisturizing face serum with SPF. It is SO GOOD. I wear it daily. My favorite summer drink these days is a half-and-half mixture of grapefruit sparkling water and Trader Joe’s jalapeno limeade. SO GOOD.

Of course, as I’m adding bug repellent and sun repellent to my online cart, I am also perusing some of the things I’ve been dithering over for a long time. Namely, solar fence lights and some floating pool lights.

As you can tell, I am an excellent consumer. My husband said the other day that sometimes it feels like all we do is spend money. Does it feel that way to anyone else? Because it DOES feel that way. In part, there was some frenzy of last minute purchases to prepare Carla for camp. And then there was some Father’s Day gift buying. And then some gifts for Carla’s upcoming birthday. Plant stuff. Food and litter for the cat. Groceries. Birthday gifts for a friend, baby gifts for my housecleaner, new home gifts for my friend who just bought her first house. Prescriptions. Gas. And that’s just STUFF stuff, not bigger picture things like utilities and travel plans and, like, insurance. I am grateful to be able to buy the things we need. I am mindful that it feels like A Lot, and my husband and I are looking for ways to cut back.

Speaking of spending money AND of Carla’s birthday: We are having a skating party at the roller rink followed by a slumber party at our house. I think Carla is into the idea of a 90s theme for her party, which I am extremely delighted to get behind. I am imagining party favor bags full of Koosh balls and slap bracelets and tiny troll dolls and hours of playing Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board.

Something else that has been on my mind, totally unrelated to anything else, is Class Dynamics. Specifically, when the teacher goes around the class and expects each person to make a comment on whatever it is you’re studying that week. I hate that. First of all, there’s the part where I have to speak, out loud, to other people. Even if I have thoughts on the subject at hand, there’s a good chance those thoughts will get garbled on the way out, and/or I’ll talk too fast, and/or I’ll jump around incoherently, and/or I’ll say something that doesn’t sound out loud the way it does in my head, and/or I’ll try to be funny and it will not make sense. Secondly, I hate speaking first, because there’s so much pressure on that and also it feels like being a goody two shoes… but I also hate speaking after other people have gone, because by then my exact points will for sure have been stated, in a clearer and more interesting way. And I cannot think on my feet; no way, if I know that we’ll be going around the room, I will have prepared my response WELL in advance. Thirdly, I hate it when the instructor either doesn’t respond to your comment, or responds with something like “thank you” or “okay” when it seems like she responds to everyone else with “good point” or “I was thinking the exact same thing.” Fourthly, I hate “going round the room” in general, because there’s no connectivity! The whole point is to say something different from everyone else, and so you’re not having a conversation, you’re giving a presentation, and I hate that.

See, this is why I distract myself with plants and purchases. Because dealing with other humans is TOO FRAUGHT.

Lest we end on such a weird an anxious note, let us turn our gaze once more to my cat. Carla’s new pajamas (birthday gift) arrived the other day and I opened the box on the counter and Lenny was CERTAIN I was doing something Extremely Interesting that he didn’t want to miss. Sure enough, I had revealed a perfect resting spot.