Seven for Saturday

If you need a little extra joy in your life, and/or a little help finding it in your day-to-day, Elisabeth is leading a daily practice of gratitude with her F.I.G. Collective this month. Sometimes, when friends or loved ones have said something along the lines of, “Buck up! You have so much to be grateful for!” or “Count your blessings!”, I’ve felt like doubling down on whatever bad mood has overcome me. Gratitude isn’t something you can force on others, or on yourself. So if you AREN’T into feeling grateful, there is no pressure from me (or from Elisabeth, honestly!). But I will say that reading about everyone else’s bright spots – from getting a bunch of green lights in a row to blogger meet ups to delicious dinners and birthday celebrations – has infused my days with some extra cheer. 

Anyway, it was so fun and bolstering to read everyone’s FIGs last week that I started this past week determined to capture as many moments of joy and gratitude as possible. I even made a list LAST SATURDAY with the idea that I would return daily to fill in all the wonderful moments as they happened. 

Well. I filled out Saturday’s list of things to be grateful for and then… forgot about FIGs until just now. This past week has been rough. It was a BUSY week, the kind of week I abhor, with lots of unpleasant commitments and appointments one right after another. And then, as I mentioned, it’s been tough from a parenting perspective, too. All that is to say that I’ve had to scrape down to the very bottom to find FIGs for the past week, and a lot of them involve food.

Saturday, February 8:

  • Perfect Balance: Today was the perfect balance of lounging around and getting stuff done. I got in a good writing session, I spent time with my husband and kid, I moved my body, I got to sit on the couch and read, I did a load of laundry, and I made a delicious homemade dinner.
  • Fabulous Flurries: I am not ready for winter to end quite yet, and we got a little skiff of snow today!
  • Cutest Kiddo: Carla was extra delightful and cheery. I could hear her talking to some sitcom she was watching on her iPad, saying, “Come on! Tell her! Tell her you love her!” 
  • Delicious Dishes: We made Birchie-Recommended chicken bowls with cilantro pesto, and they were so yummy. We also made mini flourless chocolate cakes for our Super Bowl “party” tomorrow with my parents.
These were not as good as I’d hoped, but still fun to make (and eat).

Sunday, February 9:

  • Super Snacks: My parents brought over an incredibly tasty appetizer for our Super Bowl “party”: thin-sliced beef tenderloin and Brie on top of sliced baguette, topped with red pepper jelly. I cannot stomach beef this rare, but my dad kindly “overcooked” part of the beef tenderloin just for me. Not pictured because I ate it all. 
  • Satisfying Showdown: I like football and it’s fun to root for a team whose success or failure has no effect on my/my husband’s mood. 
  • Family Togetherness: Spending time with my parents is really so wonderful. I love being able to relax and hang out with them.
  • Writing Win: Even though I thought I wouldn’t have time to write on a day when I was having people over, I managed to write 1700 words in my manuscript. 
The veggies were excellent too. I love me some crudite.

Monday, February 10:

  • Words on the Page: Managed to write nearly 2000 words today, let’s not focus on the fact that only 200 of them were part of my primary manuscript.
  • Boots on the Ground: Or, rather, sneakers on the treadmill. I did not get outside today due to excess ice, but I did plod away on the treadmill while typing. (I don’t see how I only walked 2.28 miles when the treadmill was set to 3 mph, but whatever, who’s counting.)

Tuesday, February 11:

  • Done and Done: This was a Work Day, with a three-hour meeting in the morning and an afternoon spent following up on tasks assigned in that meeting. I usually drag out the tasks for a few days, but today I tackled them all at once and Got ‘Er Done. Very satisfying and now I don’t have to think about it.
  • Treading Along: As you can see, I am really, really digging to find anything positive about this day, but I DID manage to do an hour plus on the treadmill (while completing the aforementioned tasks on my laptop). I was walking at 3 mpg, as per usual, although my watch disagreed. That’s okay because I KNOW THE TRUTH. 
Our orange wall makes me happy.

Wednesday, February 12:

  • Connection and Culture: My parents and I went to an art museum together! It was so fun to be with them and explore fascinating artworks. 
  • Ladies (and Dad) Who Lunch: After our arts-and-culture morning, my parents took me out to lunch. I don’t go out to lunch during the school week very often, and it always feels like the pinnacle of decadence. Then we ran into one of my friends at the end of our meal, which was also fun!
I adore Cubism. Perhaps that’s why my photos are always askew.

Thursday, February 13:

  • Sheet Pan Shawarma: This meal was literally the only good thing about today. 
  • Outdoor Time: Okay, I am putting this short outdoor walk here because I am glad I did it, even though a) I wasn’t planning on walking, but I mixed up Carla’s school pickup time and ended up having an extra 1.5 hours on my hands which is not enough time for me to drive home and do anything, and b) the wind was fierce and frigid, and c) the walking path was icy and I slipped and nearly fell multiple times. It wasn’t enjoyable or pretty, but I still spent time moving my body in nature dammit.
  • Phone a Friend: Okay, this is what happens when you work backwards from “this was the only good thing about today”: you find OTHER good things. (Thank you, Elisabeth, for making me feel obliged to find something, anything, to be thankful for.) Anyway, I had an extra hour in the car today (medication shortage, and the only pharmacy that had the medication was a 30-minute drive away from both my house and Carla’s school) and my best friend, whom I’d texted because I was crying in the doctor’s office parking lot – NOTHING IS WRONG, I SWEAR, IT WAS JUST A BAD DAY – and was embarrassed and the way I deal with embarrassment, as evidenced by this here blog, is to share it with a loved one in hopes they will commiserate or reassure or at the very least love me anyway, I have lost track of the punctuation in this sentence so let’s begin again: My best friend intuited that I was in the car and called me and made both my drive and my day much better (if temporarily).  
  • Co-Parenting Comfort: As I mentioned previously, I blubbered all over my husband about my bad day – which, I guiltily recognize, did not involve telling anyone they have cancer – and he was kind, and held me, and told me we would get through it, and made a plan with me to figure out a solution. 
Yummy yummy roasted veggies. And chicken, I did add some chicken tenders to the mix and they didn’t ruin anything.

Friday, February 14:

  • Taco Victory: I Frankensteined a recipe for beef birria tacos based on a bunch of recipes online and they were delicious. The consommé was extraordinarily flavorful and complex and spicy and rich. *Guy Fieri voice* I could eat that on a flip flop. 
  • Cheesecake Success: I made mini cheesecakes (but with gingersnaps for the crust instead of cardboard I mean graham crackers) and they were perfect in every way. 
  • Writing Loophole: I discovered that, even though I have written a measly THREE DAYS this week, instead of daily like I am committed to failing at doing, I have still managed to meet my goal of 800 words per day so far this month.
  • Kind Comments: Your comments on my parenting angst slash blowdryer dilemma were so lovely and warm and bolstering. Thank you.
Not too shabby for only having written half the days this month. Not that I should continue along in this vein of not writing every day omg.

A very ups-and-downs week. But there WERE ups, and I am grateful to Elisabeth for inspiring me to find those high points among the general preponderance of lows. 

Nostalgic Candy; Corrupting Childhood (or Any) Memories

Last night as I was pacing the kitchen, waiting for the broccoli to become “tender-crisp” without plummeting over the edge into “muddy yard waste” I found myself rummaging through the pantry, looking for sweets.

We have a not insignificant amount of Halloween candy leftover from, you guessed it, Halloween, and the miniature gold-edged bag of tiny Haribo gummy bears caught my eye. They were delicious, by the way. I eat them orange first, then yellow, then red, then green, then white. There are far too few white gummy bears, in my opinion.

haribo-gold-bears

Image from haribo.com

I haven’t had a gummy bear in, what, a billion years? No, I can pinpoint it exactly: middle school. Because the instant the first gummy bear broke on my tongue, I was plunged back to the days when, instead of taking the bus home, I would walk to my mom’s office. What a walk, for an 11- to 13-year-old – two miles by car. It must have seemed like a thousand miles by foot. First, I’d cut through the residential area around the middle school, then walk through the park, then up past the cemetery. Then I’d cut through a grassy area that ran behind the football field, cut down a steep hill via some meandering paths that may well have been cut into the hillside by water, then head north through more residential areas to the small business district in the center of town. That’s where my mom’s law practice was, and she’d let me do my homework in the basement law library as long as I was quiet and respectful to the other lawyers.

Now we get to the candy part.

Her office was next door to a donut shop, and for some reason it sold gummy bears in little cellophane bags, cinched shut by red tape. I think you could get an entire bag for a dollar. Maybe it was even less. (Past Me did not know to make a note of it.) All I knew was I had a couple dollars in my pocket and wanted to spend them on candy. I’d sometimes buy a donut and a Sprite instead, or too. Occasionally I’d meet a friend there, and she’d have an Italian ice, which sounded exotic but tasted too much like soda water for my taste.

The law office basement also housed a sort of break room, where I mixed myself coffee and powdered creamer and packets and packets of sugar. Sitting between the sink and the coffee maker was a box of various delights – chips and candy bars and trail mix and the like – that could be your very own by shoving 50 cents or a rectangled dollar bill into a slit at the back of the box. Some days when I didn’t get the gummy bears, or they didn’t fill me up, I’d buy a Butterfinger. Or a Fifth Avenue Bar. I was always suspicious of the Watchamacallit, the confection with the tantalizing commercials that didn’t sound all that great on the package description.

watchamacallit

Image from thehersheycompany.com

In the summer, I’d sometimes spend days at my friend K’s house. We’d ride our bikes or roller blade or giggle over boys. There was a convenience store a few blocks from her house – not that everything wasn’t a few blocks from everything else – and it sold candy by the penny. You could 100 Swedish Fish or 100 Sour Patch Kids for a buck. Which I did, as often as possible.

sour-patch-kids

Image from troyerscountrymarket.com

Is that where I discovered Zotz? Hard candies that exude a sour fizz when you reach the middle. I know I experimented with the chocolate Charleston Chews. And fell in love with Laffy Taffy – and discovered that I despised its cousin, Airheads. Put a king size grape Laffy Taffy bar in the freezer and you had a delicious melt-in-your-mouth snack for days.

Never one for chocolate, I would gorge myself on Pixie Sticks and Lemonheads and Alexander the Grape and the sour apple version of that candy. And also: Jolly Ranchers. Candy corn. Those little wax bottles of sugar water. Lik a Dip, or whatever ridiculous name accompanied the candy spoon you could dip into various packets of flavored sugar.

alexander-the-grape

Image from oldtimecandy.com

Gum was my second choice, after candy: Hubba Bubba and Big League Chew and Crybabies and Fruit Stripe and all the pungent flavors of Bubblicious in the world. (Snappin’ Sour Apple was my jam back then; during car trips, my dad would yell at me to stop blowing bubbles because it stank up the car.)  I loved Blow Pops best of all: the perfect combination of hard candy and bubble gum.

bubblicious

Image from retrocandy.com

In high school, a bunch of kids went through a phase where those sour caramel apple lollipops were “in,” and I must have eaten one every day. Oh! And my best friend and I spent our entire freshman year eating Peanut Butter M&Ms for lunch, alongside our cafeteria-made nachos (chips with a mucousy layer of nacho cheese).

At some point, I became obsessed with these teeny candies called Tart n’ Tiny. (Oh look! You can still buy them online!) And then there was the friend-of-a-boyfriend who got me hooked on Chewy Sprees.  High school was also the site of a chewy peach ring period in my life.

In college, my then-boyfriend (now husband) brought me some candy from Europe that looked like fried eggs: the yolk was a jelly candy, the white was some foamy concoction. I’ve been trying anything that looks similar ever since, but haven’t come across quite the right consistency or flavor.

These days, my go-to candy fix is Haribo mini rainbow frogs, which I can get at the local branch of World Market. Sometimes, I’ll go for Nerds. (Especially on top of vanilla ice cream.)  Sour patch kids are still pretty great.

haribo-mini-rainbow-frogs

Image from haribo.com

On the rare occasions I’m interested in chocolate, I choose Skor bars. Or Snickers. Maybe Reese’s peanut butter cups. Or peanut butter M&Ms.

It is a wonder that I still have all my teeth. (And that I’ve had but two cavities.)

 

When I was on my little gummy bear time machine, being transported back twenty-plus years to middle school, I started thinking about how strange memory is. Encounter something out of the blue – something you’ve truly been distanced from – and the experience is transformative. The past ripples in front of you so vividly you might step back inside and resume your years ago life.

But go seeking that thrill of memory? And it fades.

I eat sour patch kids all the time, and they certainly played a much bigger role in my candy-eating childhood than gummy bears did. But because I never stopped eating them, they have lost the tinge of nostalgia.

When my husband and I first moved in together, and had to cook for ourselves, I whipped out all the recipes that I’d grown up with. My mom’s chili, her fried chicken, her mulligatawny soup, and on and on. At the time, it was akin to bringing a piece of my childhood into my adult home.

But now, we’ve made those same dishes so many times… and put our own spin on them, to make them fit our particular tastes, that they are almost unrecognizable as My Mom’s Meals. I think if I were to go to my mother’s house and ask her to make mulligatawny, it wouldn’t taste right. And it wouldn’t taste like childhood. Because I’ve worn it out so much.

Have you ever tried to preserve the past? I have. Years ago when we were still dating, I spritzed a stuffed animal with my husband’s cologne, so I could drink in his scent when we were apart. That elephant just smells… neutral, now. (Well, and it’s now been incorporated into Carla’s collection of plush critters, so who really knows what it smells like.)

I kept the bottle of shampoo we used the first time we (the nurse) bathed Carla in the hospital when she was a newborn. But after a few sniffs, the feelings that used to walk hand in hand with that particular scent, the images of us crowded around a squalling, incredulous infant as a nurse gently washed her skin, have faded.

The songs I’d listen to in the car on the way to work when I was pregnant – they no longer bring back that bursting sense of joy and possibility and fear and wonder and anticipation that they once did.

These tastes and scents and sounds of the past: overuse has corrupted their connection to the memory.

Holding onto things you love, things you enjoy is one thing. But holding onto the past is impossible. Those flickers of time long gone are fleeting. And that’s what makes them so delicious.