hypothetical cat

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Saturday Randomosity: Mayhem in Full Swing Edition

Why does May feel so busy? It’s not even THAT busy, and yet I am SO BUSY. Why? What am I even doing?

For one thing, I am FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE KITTEN. We are getting a kitten, have I mentioned this? It is my understanding from such reliable sources as Twitter that cats just randomly show up in people’s lives and the people simply adjust to now having a living creature they need to take care of. On the other hand, there’s me, who has dreamt of owning a cat for decades now, and who has been planning this specific cat since February, and I do not feel ready! Our house is too big for a kitten with far too many places for said kitten to get lost! How does one ensure a kitten gets enough but not too much food? What if I am allergic to the kitten and spend the next twenty years feeling like crap? THERE ARE TOO MANY LITTER OPTIONS.  

I hope anyone reading this understands that the kitten is A Done Deal. Next week at this time, we will have a kitten. In our house. That is ours. I am a little hyperventilatey, can you tell?

As you know, I tend to channel my anxiety into buying random shit. Or at the very least, ogling random shit, adding it to my online shopping cart, and then never buying it. Sometimes adding a thing to my shopping cart scratches the same itch as hitting the “buy now” button, without the attendant “OMG why did I just spend good money on that” feelings. I am trying very, very hard not to buy this faux-velvet chaise longue for the kitten. (I did not manage to avoid buying this mid-century modern pet bed for a friend slash dog owner who just moved into a new house. But I am only human.)

Speaking of spending ridiculous money, my husband got me a cat book (bookshop.org / amazon) for my birthday… and then I accidentally “returned” it to the library, along with a stack of other books. So we just repurchased it. 

It is Memorial Day weekend here in the US, which means three consecutive days at home with my family. Although I am ditching them today to go spend time with friends, and I am PUMPED. The weather has been so soggy around here lately that I am raring to get outside. 

My mom and I got pedicures as our Mother’s Day activity, so my feet are ready for sandal weather. But sandal weather is so far eluding us. I have been wearing CLOSE TOED SHOES and JACKETS. I am not opposed to either, but it feels wrong. It’s the latter third of May for Pete’s sake! I suppose this gives me a teeny bit of extra time to get new sandals. My old, well-worn and well-loved sandals are a bit frayed, so I’m eyeing these wedges as replacements. Or maybe these ones. (The old sandals no longer come in the colors I like, otherwise I would absolutely buy them again.)

One thing that I have yet to do is ANY GARDENING. I am so behind. My pots from last year are all outside, looking empty and sad. Well. The tomato pots have fresh cilantro growing in them, which is a fun surprise. I guess the seeds I planted at the end of the season last year waited until now to make an appearance. I’ve already harvested a bowlful to make it into sauce. Yum. I bought some new planters last fall to take the place of the old, falling-apart planters we inherited from the previous owners, and I really want to fill them with pretty flowers. Maybe this weekend????

Adding to the sense of frantic busy-ness is the bunch of unusual activities we’ve had this month, like recitals and concerts and tournaments and class trips and special lunches. They seem to ramp up exponentially as the month progresses, as though no one realized it was May already and we need to schedule the things before the year ends. For instance, I am supposed to bring food for a sixth grade party next week and I have no idea how much food to bring. I know how many kids are in Carla’s grade, but surely I can’t be expected to provide something that feeds ALL of them, right? If I bring something for about 50% of them, that should be fine, right? (The teacher in charge is not responding to requests for more information.) 

I have no good way to end this post, so I will leave you with a photo of my irises, which, despite the lack of sunshine, are finally blooming! 

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Seven for Saturday

Elisabeth is leading a daily practice of gratitude with her F.I.G. Collective this month, and I have been collecting my own moments of gratitude. Sometimes well after the fact, which is less effective in sustaining gratitude day to day. But we work with what we have.

Saturday, February 15:

Well, this day is a total mystery to me. I did not keep track of the things I was grateful for in the moment, so I have no idea what we did during the day at all. I didn’t write. I didn’t go for a walk until around three. I’m pretty sure we made salmon burgers for dinner and then watched Mockingjay, but I couldn’t swear to it. My moments of gratitude on this day go to long walks outdoors (I at least have evidence I did that, even if I don’t remember it) and cozy evenings with my family.

Photo by Carla, who loves the snow as much as I do.

Sunday, February 16:

Carla’s sports lesson was cancelled this weekend, so we got to sleep in! Then I wrote 2,700 words in my manuscript while plodding away on the treadmill. THEN Carla got invited to an impromptu sleepover, so my husband and I had an evening all to ourselves. We browsed furniture stores, sampled perfumes until our heads ached, scrapped our restaurant dinner plans and brought pizza home instead, and then watched Longlegs together. I am so grateful for time to do the things that are important to me, that Carla has a friend she adores, and that my husband and I enjoy one another’s company.

Monday, February 17:

This was President’s Day in the US, so Carla had the day off from school, which meant I was able to sleep in again! I had a wonderful remote writing session with a dear friend, wrote a little, and admired the fluffy snowflakes that drifted endlessly from the sky. Then I went to pick Carla up from her friend’s house, where I ended up chatting with the friend’s mom for a whole hour. On our drive home, Carla and I went to the grocery store – she needed more Eggo waffles – and I was able to get my week’s shopping out of the way, and the total cost was under $200. My throat was feeling a little scratchy and the weather was snowy and cold, so I made a big pot of Mulligatawny soup for dinner. To counterbalance my very reasonable grocery bill, I bought a few pairs of shoes to try on (and will only keep one pair, I swear); we have a trip coming up and I expect rainy weather and want comfortable, cute, stylish, and/or waterproof shoes to wear while walking around outside. I am grateful for the community of parents I belong to, for feeling so happy to have my kiddo around after her short absence, for being able to buy new shoes, and for warm soup on a wintry day.

Tuesday, February 18:

I slept terribly, woke up feeling crummy, and ended up canceling my hair appointment and a meetup with a friend I haven’t seen in ages. My main successes of the day were driving my kid to school and then making a big pot of chipotle chicken tortilla soup (except I made it without the chicken – I added two cans of black beans and a cup or so of frozen corn to bulk it up a bit). My mom always says chicken soup is the best cure for a cold, and, while I don’t really like traditional chicken noodle soup, this spicy soup was tasty and comforting and lasted me all week. This day made me very grateful to my hairdresser for finding another hair appointment for me in a few weeks, despite her jam-packed schedule and to my husband for picking up our child from school so I didn’t have to make another hour’s drive.

This is a cheating photo from long ago, but it IS of the correct soup.

Wednesday, February 19:

I woke up feeling rotten for a second day in a row, but it was okay because my husband was able to take Carla to school! Then I had a remote writing session with my local writing partner and churned out 1,800 words, and received a fun impromptu phone call from my childhood best friend. My husband has been such a superstar about driving Carla to and from school when it works out lately (mainly because she has an after school activity that ends right when he’s usually able to leave work), and I am so grateful to him for understanding what a slog it is for me to drive two hours a day and offering to help when he can. I am also grateful to my brain for working even when my body feels like a rusty trash can, and to my writing friend for encouraging us to get together even though we couldn’t meet in person. I am extra grateful that my long distance friend and I are still so close.

Thursday, February 20:

I was feeling well enough to go outside and take a walk, and it was so wonderful to be outside with snowflakes cooling my face. I am so grateful that this illness was short-lived and that I live in such a beautiful place and that the temperatures are warm enough in my area for me to enjoy being outdoors. I am also grateful for Carla. I feel like I spend less and less time with her as she gets older, but this night we all ate dinner together and she urged us to make lists of Things to Do Before We Get a Cat and Things to Get for the Cat and then she made some google slides of potential cat names and it was so charming and adorable I ended up letting her stay up way past her bedtime. (If you have a cat, is there ONE ESSENTIAL THING that you are so glad you purchased for him/her?)

I am 95% certain that my parents’ cat required maybe five things on this list.

Friday, February 21:

After I dropped Carla off at school, I had another remote writing session with my local friend. (Even though I felt mostly better, I didn’t want to risk exposing her to my germs.) It wasn’t the most prolific writing day, but I did meet my daily word-count goal and, more important, I got some backstory that has been pre-occupying me out of my head and onto the page. Then I spent the rest of the day cleaning Carla’s craft room, closet, bedroom, and bathroom. This was difficult and frustrating for a lot of different reasons, the worst of which is that I kept feeling infuriated with Carla for being so messy and breaking the rules (the rule she has the most trouble with is no crafting outside of the craft room), and then immediately even more furious with myself because she is the kid and I am the parent and I should be more actively coaching her through how to keep her spaces clean instead of willingly allowing the mess to get out of control until it’s so overwhelming she can’t handle it herself. But: I am very grateful to my mom, who talked to me on the phone for more than an hour while I was cleaning, which distracted me from my anger and self-loathing and caught me up on what’s going on in her life. I am grateful that I made noticeable progress against the mess AND found my favorite sweatshirt, which has been missing for months. I am grateful that I was able to take a quick walk outside around five pm and release my frustration into the crisp winter air, and that it was still light enough for my walk, and that I conversed briefly with a robin who wanted to inform me spring is on the way (along with a new round of Attack Robin issues, I’m sure, but let’s not dwell on that when we’re busy being grateful). I am grateful that Carla had an after-school event that meant my husband and I could have another date night (second in a week!!!) (this time we went to an Indian restaurant and then went to Target and Home Depot) (we are experts at romance). I am also grateful that we now own four giant storage bins in which to store all of the toys cluttering up Carla’s space.

Trash/donations from the craft room declutter. That bear has seen some things.

My life is full of blessings, and I am very grateful for all of them, big and small, the unexpected gifts and those I normally take for granted.

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Follow Up Friday

Some people in the blogging community are really good at remembering to follow up on things. I am not one of those people. It feels like I owe you (or Future Me, I suppose?) a few updates and I am in the mood to try to recall some of the many (many) things I have brought up/fretted about/whined about in this space and never mentioned again.

  • Brief Doctor Follow Up: Since my post, I have had two appointments with my new PCP and one appointment with my OB/GYN and two rounds of bloodwork. A.) I took everyone’s advice and brought a very short and tidy list with me to my appointment last month. B.) Despite The List, I suck a being a patient and an adequate advocate for myself. C.) All my bloodwork shows I am normal and healthy, which is fantastic. D.) It seems like the reason I am tired all the time boils down to “being a human” and the treatment is “suck it up.” (This is my interpretation, not my doctor’s actual words or demeanor.) My doctor did refer me to get a sleep study (scheduled for a few months out) so we’ll see if that shows anything, but I’m not holding my breath. (That was a sleep apnea pun.) (Sleep apnea is not funny.)  
image from Reader’s Digest
  • Brief Gift Follow Up: You were so encouraging about my gift idea for my friend’s big birthday, I decided to rail against my tendency to continue fretting until it’s too late to do anything about it… and order the painting I had in mind. First, I asked my mom if she would be interested in painting the landscape for my friend (she is a very talented painter) and she declined, which I was sort of expecting. But I found an artist who hand-paints lovely landscapes (apparently lots of other people produce digital artworks, so the hand painting is clearly stated on her Etsy profile), sent her my reference photos, and the gift is ORDERED.
  • Brief Cat Follow Up: I spoke to the cat breeder I met two years ago at a cat show and she is going to put us on the list for the next litter.
Actual kitten not pictured.
  • Brief To-Do List Follow Up: I have scheduled my mammogram and sleep study. I have scheduled and attended an appointment with our accountant. A car service appointment is on the books. Yesterday morning, I made a phone call I have been dreading making since mid-December and instead of going the way I thought it would, it went just fine. I sent a boring email that was stressing me out. I finished reviewing a manual I am editing. Today, I need to make a new phone call, but I am going to do it today instead of four months from now.
  • Brief Poinsettia / Vacuum Follow Up: My monstrous poinsettia continues to flourish and continues to drip leaves all over my living room floor. Rocky continues to uncomplainingly do the work of one reluctant eleven-year-old and one irritated middle-aged woman and I continue to love him/it with my whole being. (I will say goodbye to the poinsettia before the kitten joins my household.)
Temporarily relocated for watering purposes.
  • Brief Gallery Wall Follow Up: There is still no gallery on the wall.

That’s all that comes to mind at the moment. Is there anything you’re waiting on tenterhooks to hear about? Do you have any updates for ME?