retail therapy

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Saturday Randomosity: Mayhem in Full Swing Edition

Why does May feel so busy? It’s not even THAT busy, and yet I am SO BUSY. Why? What am I even doing?

For one thing, I am FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE KITTEN. We are getting a kitten, have I mentioned this? It is my understanding from such reliable sources as Twitter that cats just randomly show up in people’s lives and the people simply adjust to now having a living creature they need to take care of. On the other hand, there’s me, who has dreamt of owning a cat for decades now, and who has been planning this specific cat since February, and I do not feel ready! Our house is too big for a kitten with far too many places for said kitten to get lost! How does one ensure a kitten gets enough but not too much food? What if I am allergic to the kitten and spend the next twenty years feeling like crap? THERE ARE TOO MANY LITTER OPTIONS.  

I hope anyone reading this understands that the kitten is A Done Deal. Next week at this time, we will have a kitten. In our house. That is ours. I am a little hyperventilatey, can you tell?

As you know, I tend to channel my anxiety into buying random shit. Or at the very least, ogling random shit, adding it to my online shopping cart, and then never buying it. Sometimes adding a thing to my shopping cart scratches the same itch as hitting the “buy now” button, without the attendant “OMG why did I just spend good money on that” feelings. I am trying very, very hard not to buy this faux-velvet chaise longue for the kitten. (I did not manage to avoid buying this mid-century modern pet bed for a friend slash dog owner who just moved into a new house. But I am only human.)

Speaking of spending ridiculous money, my husband got me a cat book (bookshop.org / amazon) for my birthday… and then I accidentally “returned” it to the library, along with a stack of other books. So we just repurchased it. 

It is Memorial Day weekend here in the US, which means three consecutive days at home with my family. Although I am ditching them today to go spend time with friends, and I am PUMPED. The weather has been so soggy around here lately that I am raring to get outside. 

My mom and I got pedicures as our Mother’s Day activity, so my feet are ready for sandal weather. But sandal weather is so far eluding us. I have been wearing CLOSE TOED SHOES and JACKETS. I am not opposed to either, but it feels wrong. It’s the latter third of May for Pete’s sake! I suppose this gives me a teeny bit of extra time to get new sandals. My old, well-worn and well-loved sandals are a bit frayed, so I’m eyeing these wedges as replacements. Or maybe these ones. (The old sandals no longer come in the colors I like, otherwise I would absolutely buy them again.)

One thing that I have yet to do is ANY GARDENING. I am so behind. My pots from last year are all outside, looking empty and sad. Well. The tomato pots have fresh cilantro growing in them, which is a fun surprise. I guess the seeds I planted at the end of the season last year waited until now to make an appearance. I’ve already harvested a bowlful to make it into sauce. Yum. I bought some new planters last fall to take the place of the old, falling-apart planters we inherited from the previous owners, and I really want to fill them with pretty flowers. Maybe this weekend????

Adding to the sense of frantic busy-ness is the bunch of unusual activities we’ve had this month, like recitals and concerts and tournaments and class trips and special lunches. They seem to ramp up exponentially as the month progresses, as though no one realized it was May already and we need to schedule the things before the year ends. For instance, I am supposed to bring food for a sixth grade party next week and I have no idea how much food to bring. I know how many kids are in Carla’s grade, but surely I can’t be expected to provide something that feeds ALL of them, right? If I bring something for about 50% of them, that should be fine, right? (The teacher in charge is not responding to requests for more information.) 

I have no good way to end this post, so I will leave you with a photo of my irises, which, despite the lack of sunshine, are finally blooming! 

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Five for Friday

My poor husband is STILL not caught up on sleep after his call week, so I am continuing to make his coffee for him every night when he inevitably falls asleep early before taking care of it. Last night, I managed to grind the coffee beans for too long – the grinder makes a terrific racket, but somehow I stuffed it into the far reaches of my overstuffed brain and just FORGOT that it was on, merrily grinding away. So I ground too many beans and had extra grounds, and so as not to waste them, I made myself a pot of coffee this morning and now I am at the Visible Trembling stage of caffeination. 

Also, I have SIX PHONE CALLS to make today. SIX!!!! That is too many phone calls! How will I get through them all?!?! That is why I am procrastinating. Although no one is quite awake yet, I think. So I am just wasting time until I have to CALL people. So many people!

  1. What kinds of flowers should I buy? We are about to list our house for sale. (ACK!) The realtor had a few suggestions for how we should spruce up our house. Most of the suggestions were very simple: remove family photographs, clear surfaces, thin the books on the bookshelves. Okay, I can do those things. But at the very end of her visit, when we were touring the outside of my house, she said, “Add some flower pots to the front here.” I dutifully wrote this down, but honestly I have no idea what she means. No idea! I am happy to buy more flowers – of all the things I can spend Sprucing Money on, flowers are at least FUN and PRETTY, at least until I kill them. But I don’t know what she means or how to execute whatever it is she envisions. (She is a wonderful realtor and human, but I will be unable to get any additional suggestions from her. When I tried to gently prod, she said, “You can look it up online.”) (I looked it up online and am STILL CLUELESS. I even walked around our neighborhood to try to find things to emulate, and nothing!) Do you know what I should do? Do I buy a bunch of marigolds and shove them into the ground around the perimeter of the beds? Also, we have DEER, who are JERKS. (They just ate all the beautiful, flourishing petunias in my backyard, the jerks.) How would you spruce up this area with color? Here is a photo of what it looks like now: 

I will note that Carla’s rock pile has been relocated. She was allowed to keep seven precious rocks. The others now make up the border of another, smaller bed.

Also, my petunias are hanging in there, by the skin of their teeth. I hate to toss them, since they are still blooming. But they are so RAGGEDY. Tell me, should I say goodbye to the petunias (not pictured, due to raggedyness) and get something else? (And if so, WHAT?) This whole area of the house gets lots of direct sunlight (we face east), so I think the petunias are suffering from a combination of benevolent overwatering and sun crisping. 

  • I have been totally slacking on my exercise routines. I have also been eating more comfort foods (nachos, pizza) than I want to be eating at this time in my life, but listen. Sometimes you just need to eat what you want to eat. Sometimes nachos feed the SOUL. But the exercise! I NEED that, for my mental health. And I have just not been finding time. Also, the last couple of times I have managed to grab an extra 30-60 minutes to devote to working out, I have injured myself. I did a really great workout (it was a Tracy Steen workout, but I can’t find the specific one), but it had some lunges and on one lunge I felt a muscle in the side of my thigh just… clench, I guess is the word. It hurt, at the time, and then it was painful to walk for a few days, but then it was fine. And then the next workout I tried had SO MANY LUNGES. I need to not do lunges, I think. I know some people avoid burpees in a workout (I get it; I am not a fan), but I need to avoid lunges for awhile now. I wish I knew a good alternative to lunges, like a modification that I could do that would work similar bodyparts without straining anything. I also tried tacking a seven-minute ab workout on after a brisk walk outside, and it was SO HARD. How can a seven-minute workout be SO HARD? (It was so hard.)
  • No matter how many interviews I give, I never get less nervous. Interviewing subject-matter experts has been a part of my writing work for… decades now. I like interviewing people and learning about their passions and getting them to talk about how they got involved with a particular industry and discovering what makes them get out of bed in the morning. It’s invigorating, talking to someone about something they love. And yet, I still get SO ANXIOUS in the hours leading up to these calls! Yes, calls! They are not even in-person interviews! Sweaty palms, knotted stomach. I am also one of those people who can’t accomplish anything else until an appointment is over. Maybe not, like, a doctor’s appointment. But certainly if I am speaking with a subject-matter expert in advance of writing something about/for them, I can think of nothing else until the call is over. This works out okay if the call takes place first thing in the morning. But if the person I’m speaking with is in a different time zone, forget about it. The day is TOAST. 
  • Speaking of things that make me anxious: I had an initial consultation with a therapist. I was, of course, deeply anxious about every step of the interaction, from the initial email to the actual call. But she seems very nice and comes highly recommended from a friend. So we’ll see how it goes. She was very upfront about saying that if we have a few sessions and I don’t feel like she’s the right fit, she will happily help me find someone who will be a better fit. I liked that. I feel really, really stupid about pursuing therapy. My life is full of gifts. I am, in the majority, happy and healthy. Also, I am extremely self-centered and so have thought a lot about what my “issues” are, so I’m not sure a therapist will have a lot to add in terms of insights. (That’s a very arrogant way to think, I see that.) And yet, I do think I could benefit from therapy. Especially if I can learn some techniques to help avoid negative self-talk and to be more proactive about expressing my needs/boundaries and to be a better/more patient parent. I also think that if I had a friend in my position, I would encourage her to reach out for some therapeutic input. So I am trying to be my own friend. I’m doing it. But I still feel like I might potentially be wasting this person’s time, and/or be taking up a slot that could be going to someone who REALLY needs it. 
  • I bought something(s). Because we are in a phase of CULLING, not in a phase of acquisition (unless you count acquiring packing paper and bubble wrap and endless boxes), I have been trying to discourage BUYING THINGS. But… Loft got me. There’s this dress that I bought last year that I LOVE. It is literally the only thing I own that always gets compliments when I wear it. It is SO comfortable and SO flattering. Plus, you can just throw a denim jacket over it in the fall and wear it then, too. Then this summer, Loft came out with the same dress in a few different colors. I resisted buying any of them ALL SUMMER, and then Loft had a $40-dresses sale, and I even resisted THAT. But each time they sent me an email advertising the dress, I would go look at it… and even put it in my cart. And then of course I would get emails saying, “Don’t forget…” or “It looks like you left something behind…” or “Lots of people are buying this dress, don’t miss out” and all other sorts of super creepy tracker-y things that I hate and yet were hugely effective. I kept thinking about the dress and thinking about it. And finally it was on sale for 48% off – just a little more than the $40 it was at its lowest. So I bought it in three other colors. They haven’t arrived yet, and I can and will take back one or all should they not be as cute as the original. But I’m kind of excited about having more dresses.  

What are you thinking about this Friday?

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Things I Love Lately

It is a blustery Friday. Carla is at school, my in-laws have all headed home. Teriyaki chicken breasts are cooking in the crockpot. My house is quiet, except for the wind bumping up against the windows. I have laundry to do and flyers to fold and a few groceries yet to put away, but I am in a Very Good Mood. 

Here are some of the things that are contributing to my pleasant mood today.

1. Spring Springing Up. Earlier this week, Carla and I saw the first popcorn tree of the season. (I think the trees we refer to as “popcorn tress” are really Bartlett pear trees.) Most of the other trees in our area are still skeletal, with only the tiniest buds appearing on their branches. So it was delightful to see the frothy blooms, bright and happy against the persistent gloom of our very rainy April. That was Saturday, maybe? Today, I noticed that that single blooming scout has been joined by an array of blossoms. Cherry trees! Magnolias! Forsythia! It is really and truly spring. Also, one of the houses in our neighborhood bought and installed one of those enormous house-sized skeletons last Halloween. They have kept the skeleton up since October, and simply decorate it for the season. It is currently wearing pink garland and bunny ears, which delights me to no end. 

I feel compelled to tell you that I did not take this photo, I pulled it off of Canva.

2. Spring Flowers. My regular grocery store had a disappointing array of flowers this week. The tulips were all already on the far side of blooming, and were $8.99 besides. But I went to Trader Joe’s this morning and found lots and lots of tulips (for $4.99 a bunch!) and a bouquet of calla lilies (also $4.99!) to buy. Yay!

3. Tiny Tomato Plant. Speaking of Trader Joe’s, the last time I was there, I bought this little tomato plant on a whim. It is bringing me so much joy! Firstly, it has SO MANY tomatoes already growing! Plus, it keeps blooming with more and more little yellow flowers that will grow into their own fruit someday soon. My niece was obsessed with the plant, checking it daily, asking if the tomatoes were ripe enough to pick and eat. I wish I had been able to capture her little earnest, hopeful voice saying, “Aunt Suz? I really think this one is ripe now.” She and Carla both LOVE finding and eating a ripe tomato. So fun! Each plant was $9.99 and I should have bought more than one. Like… five of them.

Do not worry – the tomato does not live on the piano. I simply set it there because that was the only spot in the house that was getting decent light. Please ignore how filthy the planter is. Sheesh.

4. Strawberries and Mascarpone. While I realize I am skating very close to turning this post into an ode to Trader Joe’s, I was enraptured by their produce section this morning. In particular, they had beautiful looking strawberries. I grabbed two packages along with some mascarpone cheese. One of my family’s favorite summer desserts is strawberries and mascarpone. You add some honey to the mascarpone cheese, whisk it up, and dollop it on top of cut fresh strawberries. I skip the honey these days and I find the whole thing just as satisfying and summery. 

5. Kirkland Brand Prosecco Rose. This is my current favorite fun drink. I buy it for the ridiculously inexpensive price of $6.99 a bottle at my local Costco. It’s tasty. (Please note I am not a wine connoisseur, so I’m not saying it’s GOOD, just that I like the taste, which is really what matters when a person is drinking a beverage.) And IT’S PINK. A pink drink is automatically fun. Well, unless it’s Pepto Bismol or some sort of antibiotic, but that doesn’t really count as a “drink,” even though you drink it. I am getting off track. This sparkly drink makes any random evening into something that feels cheerful and celebratory.

I realize this is not a champagne flute or coupe, but I have to wash those by hand and this glass goes in the dishwasher.

And we have reason to celebrate (with more than cheap bubbly): my mother-in-law is in remission! We are all so happy and relieved. I know the prospect of the cancer remaining or having spread was weighing heavily on my in-laws minds and this is just the BEST news. A big part of the reason they were visiting this time was to see her oncologist surgeon, and do a bunch of tests and scans. I am really glad we could be their home base while they underwent this ordeal. Her good news was the perfect note to end their visit on.

Hoping you have a wonderful weekend, and if you are celebrating Passover or Easter, that you enjoy your holiday, and that if you aren’t participating in any holiday that you find SOMETHING to celebrate and a pink drink to toast with.