Dinner Topic the First: My daughter has made friends with a family on our street that has three kids. Occasionally, she will be playing with the kids and the kids will be called into dinner, and Carla will get kind of swept up in the mix and end up eating dinner there. This has happened… hmm. Three times? Four times? I’m not sure. I always say yes because a) whatever gets Carla jazzed about eating dinner is okay by me and b) I like the idea of Carla getting exposed to what other people eat and how other people “do” dinner.
Anyway, the kids were playing this weekend, and Carla brought one of the neighbors in to use the bathroom, and the neighbor kid asked quite cheerfully if she could stay for dinner.
Well. It was nearing five pm and I had no dinner cooking, and in fact had no dinner planned. Carla was busy offering the neighbor some chicken nuggets when the other kids rang our doorbell and said their sister had to go home for dinner. (Carla ended up eating leftover salmon, edamame, and rice for dinner. I had a microwave meal; my husband had leftover spaghetti with meat sauce and an English muffin with peanut butter. Clearly the neighbor child didn’t miss much.)
When the kids rang the bell, it was five o’clock on the button, by the way. Even on the rare occasions when I have specified a time for dinner, I usually give myself about a thirty-minute cushion because I am so unbelievably terrible at estimating how long things will take to prepare, cook, and serve.
I was thinking, this morning, about how unbalanced it feels that Carla has been over to their house for dinner multiple times and yet we haven’t had their kids over for dinner once.
The thing is, it will never be spontaneous. I could never just, on a whim, have people over. People DO this, I know they do. But I feel completely off-kilter just thinking about it. A big part of it, I think, is the specific way we typically “do” dinner. Which is to say: I make something for Carla that I know she will eat, and I also make a completely separate dinner for my husband and myself to eat. We have been better about eating together as a family, but there are still many, many nights when Carla eats at 5:30 or 6:30 or somewhere in that timeframe, and then my husband and I eat dinner at 8:30 or 9:00 after Carla is in bed.
This dinner style doesn’t really lend itself to having surprise extra people at the table, you know?
Anyway. I do try to have lots of snacks in the warm weather months (note to self: get more snacks) so that the kids can come in and grab a snack when they’re playing, and it isn’t always Carla depleting the neighbors’ snack supplies. But I think having them over for dinner would have to be planned, in advance. Maybe the next time I plan to make tacos I should invite them over? But that would mean making double the tacos, right? Because I would have to invite all three kids, right? And what if they don’t want to come over?
Dinner Topic the Second: I am still reeling a little after spending just shy of $200 at the grocery store today. The amount isn’t wildly out of the ordinary, by the way. I was just rather shocked because I have only two dinners on my meal plan this week, plus “ham sandwich,” and I already had nearly all of the ingredients for one of those meals already. So what exactly did all that money BUY?
We eat a ridiculous amount of dairy, I think that’s the main culprit. My husband eats yogurt daily, I make a smoothie with yogurt and milk daily, my daughter eats yogurt confections for dessert (I tolerate them because they have some protein and calcium in them) and continues to drink hot cocoa on the regular. We all adore cheese. Half and half is a necessity. Yogurt is not cheap, folks! Sure, the stracciatella yogurts were on sale for a dollar apiece, but I bought EIGHT of them. (Carla only recently learned that they are delicious. I was eating them for dessert, and now I have to share them with her.) Okay, I was curious, so I added it up and $71 of my total bill was devoted to dairy. The cream cheese was $6.99 a 16-oz box, the Fage was $6.99, and the Fairlife milk was $5.49.
Tea was also on sale, so I got three boxes. I drink a lot of tea, but I also have writing partners who come over and drink tea with me, so I need a wider variety than I might otherwise have.
Carla requested “meat sticks” and then specified that they be “the red Chomps.” Fortunately, the red Chomps were on sale, so I got a bag of small ones for $6.99 and few of the large sticks at a dollar apiece.
Usually when I spend a big hunk of money at the grocery store, it’s because I’ve purchased a lot of meat. Like when chicken is on sale, I buy a bunch of it. But the only meat I bought today was a) two on-sale hamburger patties for Carla ($4.88), b) a half-pound of ham ($5.60), for my husband’s ham sandwiches, and c) ten grilled shrimp ($10.56) for the pasta primavera because I am sick of chicken. (The shrimp, by the way, were the single most expensive item on my grocery list. Prepared foods are so convenient but so spendy.)
Let’s see. Tortillas, beans, and chocolate chips were all on sale, and we tend to eat a lot of each of those things, so I loaded up. I bought broccoli for… some fleeting reason that has since been left behind. No worries; I’ll eat it. Eggs, powdered sugar, cream cheese, butter, carrots, and (ew) golden raisins are for my Easter baking projects. Lettuce and onions because I use those things regularly. Jalapeños for a recipe, green beans for Carla. Tomatoes and bananas are for Carla snacking purposes. I bought apples because I am in the mood to make muffins. (My writing partner always has home made muffins for us to munch on while we write. I’m feeling some 100% self-inflicted muffin guilt, which I will address with muffin reciprocity.) Kind bars were on sale, and they have a good amount of protein, so I will stow them in my car for those days when I am in the car during mealtime. Nutella because Carla loves Nutella. Canned pumpkin even though it turns out I already had two cans of pumpkin in my pantry. Rolls for my husband’s ham sandwiches, hamburger buns for Carla, and sourdough bread because Carla is on a toast kick. It’s not nothing, that’s for sure, but is it really $200 worth of food???
I still need to procure lemon curd for the cupcakes this weekend, and coconut milk for the curry I’m making later this week. Trader Joe’s should have both, hopefully at lower prices than at my regular grocery store.
And what dinners will I make with these groceries, you ask?
Dinners for the Week of April 14-20
- Pasta Primavera with Shrimp: My husband is not excited about this meal and may be less excited still once he realizes the protein is shrimp. I am looking forward to all the veggies.
- Coconut Curry Chickpeas with Pumpkin and Lime: This was my husband’s request; I am not looking forward to it, although we’ve had it before and I like it okay. As is my custom with curries and stir fries, I will add bell peppers to amp up the veg quotient. And maybe the random broccoli I bought?
- Ham Sandwich: One night this week, I am going on A Fun Adventure with a friend, which I am very much looking forward to, and I am leaving Carla and my husband to fend for themselves, dinnerwise. Hopefully the ham stretches to cover a few additional meals this week, as well.
- Easter Dinner with My Parents: A meal I do not have to cook! Cannot wait!
What’s on your meal plan for the week? Do you have A Specific Time when dinner is on the table, or are you loosey-goosey like me? What was the single most expensive item you bought on your last grocery run?
Groceries are expensive but breakfast, lunch and snacks are 2/3 of food consumption during the week. I’ve had to change my mindset over the years about breakfast and lunch. Since I don’t really cook breakfast or lunch in my mind I always put it as we will figure it out but then didn’t buy ingredients to use. I’m rambling but the way I think about breakfast and lunch isn’t proportional to the amount of food actually used.
We do not have a strict dinner time and figuring out house rules with neighbor friends is tricky.
That is a good point — I usually think about dinner, too, but breakfast, lunch, and snacks count for a big chunk of what we eat and therefore buy!
When we had five kids at home, it was no big deal to have an extra kid for dinner. There was always a lot of food; if you’re feeding seven, you might as well feed eight. But now that we’re down to one kid at home, it feels pretty different. I would absolutely need to make a plan if we were having three of her friends over for dinner. I used to live a life in which I was making big vats of easily stretchable meals; now I don’t.
All this to say: both sides of your neighbor situation make perfect sense to me.
Thanks, Jamie! I feel guilty about the discrepancy, but hopefully the neighbors have a sense that it’s a different sort of meal planning over here.
I am sure the neighbors don’t even notice another kid– I never think twice about another person at the table. And just invite the kids over to eat kid food and you just sort of be the waitress– they’ll love it. Make it spontaneous and feed them chicken nuggets– it’ll be great!
LOL – you make this sound so easy, Sarah! I wish I could absorb some of your confidence!
I like the idea of inviting kids over when you are making the tacos and then doubling how much you make just to make sure you have enough. I like leftover taco meat – I can make a taco salad or we’ll eat it on top of eggs (and call it taco eggs) with some of the chopped veggies (peppers and olives). And it’s a flexible meal that most kids can/will eat.
I couldn’t spontaneously have an extra 1-3 kids over, though. We have the same approach as you – the boys get their own meal, the adults each something different (but we eat at the same time as the boys or within 30 min typically since we all get home at the same time). Even when I was growing up we would would not spontaneously have an extra kid over. We had leftovers usually, but the space at the table was quite constrained with 6-7 of us crowded around the breakfast bar in the kitchen. We would have to eat at a different table if we had guests. Paul got invited to a play date that included dinner and I said yes, he could go but warned the mom that he barely eats anything… luckily they made dino chicken nuggets which is something he will eat!
My MIL is making the Easter meal, too, although it is always ready way later than she says it will be. Which is fine for me, but not for my children who eat lunch at 11 and dinner around 5. They will have meltdowns if they get too hungry so I would kind of prefer to make the meal but she likes to host so I will just make sure they eat a big snack before we go over there or something…
Oh and for meals this week we made Greek turkey burgers last night and tonight I’m making Chicken Tikka Masala with cauliflower and peas!
Chicken Tikka Masala with cauliflower and peas sounds yummy! Oh yes, having kids with pretty strict schedules (which my kid still has, for the most part) definitely makes eating at other people’s houses tricky! We run into this whenever my in laws are here and want to take us out to dinner. It’s so nice of them to want to treat us, but restaurants take forever and by the time my kid has had a full day of school plus sports or other activities, and then has to sit at a restaurant to wait for food… she gets a little hangry! She’s better now that she’s older, but it is still a challenge.
We do meal planning around evening events. Like I have fitness class on Monday nights until 6, so the plan is to have leftovers and my husband will have them reheated by about 6:15 or so when I am home and changed. On Wednesdays, he has a late class and doesn’t get home until 6:15-6:30, so I’ll try to have dinner ready so he can eat as soon as he gets home.
But there ain’t no way I’m inviting someone one for dinner unless it’s been put into the meal plan. There is no spontaneity for me in the food world. We literally plan to every snack around here.
Hmm, I’m thinking the most expensive thing I bought at the grocery store last time was probably meat. Most likely chicken. I spent $750 dollars at Costco when I got back from Italy. That’s unprecedented and I am still blown away by that number. I bought some ground turkey and two rotisserie chickens, but otherwise not a lot of mean. Oh, hang on. I bought $27 worth of ground beef for sloppy joe’s.
We tend to eat between 5:30 and 6;30. It depends on what time sports are and whether or not it’s something I have to make, or just heat up, ie leftovers. Tonight it’s leftover sloppy joes. I plugged the crock pot in this am. Done. Mondays are busy, so hooray for leftovers.
I always was fascinated to eat at my friends’ houses for dinner. I sometimes was invited to stay for dinner after I was babysitting (when I was in 7tyh or 8th grade) and that was equally interesting. I think whipping up a big bunch of tacos and inviting the neighborhood kids over is a great idea.
That is not a lot of groceries for $200!! Yikes! I usually pick up a few things every day so not sure what I’m spending but I want to track it for a month. Prices have gone crazy in Canada as well.
The way your life is, considering your husband’s hours I can see why you don’t always sit down together. That is pretty cute how Carla gets swallowed up into that families dinner. I raised 4 kids on my own and they often had activities. I planned my meals on the weekend and dinner hit the table shortly after I got in from work. Everyone ate what was served. There just wasn’t time for anything else.
I have that friend who could have extra kids over for meals or even sleepovers at the drop of a hat and not think twice about it. I am not that friend, and I was eventually comfortable with it – we all have strength that are generally complementary. I think that kid would have been perfectly happy with chicken nuggets if it had come to that. I often do make taco meat to freeze to have on hand for tacos or nachos if we have company, because we always have cheese (sister) – we DID have nachos tonight to use up some of the horrifying Costco block of cheese. I am also planning macaroni and cheese because I just found out that my husband always orders it if it’s on the menu when he’s on business trips and I was like, geez, I could do that. For vegetables, I also have some broccoli to use up and a bunch of edamame. Then Easter dinner where my husband cooks the turkey, my mom does most of the sides and I just make biscuits.
I think I would keep chicken nuggets and fruit around, or ingredients for grilled cheese. Kids don’t care, they just want to spend time with their friends, and eat something different.
I never had this situation, because we never had kids in our neighborhood that were my daughter’s age, so for her to get together with friends was always planned, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
I can’t tell you how many times I have gone to the store to grab a few things when it’s leftover night, so I need NOTHING for dinner, and I still spend $100 or $150. It’s ridiculous.
While I understand about feeling “completely off-kilter just thinking about it” I also realize that for kids it’s not the menu and planning about dinner that makes it fun. It’s the goofing off together. Tacos, grilled cheese, or frozen pizza even. Add some raw veggies, end with cookies and ice cream. Keep it simple.
Reading this took me back to all of those years of kid events at night that meant that dinner had to be as close to 5 as possible. EEEEEEEEEKKK! I do not miss those days.
This week is the kick off of #2’s Eagle Scout project (big deal Boy Scout thing) which will take up all of the family energy for the next few weeks and then we are DONE with the weeknight madness of school. I can’t even contemplate what life is going to be like without all of busyness. I’m sure we’ll think of something.
I think it’s great for Carla to get invited for dinner and I wouldn’t stress about reciprocation – a family of five can easily absorb an extra! Maybe instead just have lots of snacks, or, in the summer, have kids stay for lunch? That’s super easy and would ease the discomfort of not reciprocating dinner. FWIW I don’t think I ever spontaneously had kids stay for dinner, but I always seemed to have a zillion over for lunch on Fridays when it was early dismissal. I would just…suddenly have a lot of boys in my house. Waffles were always a winner for those days. Was it balanced? I mean, not really, but who cares!
Wow, $200 does not buy much these days. I was at Costco and thought “hmm…this is a small trip” and it was over $500. What the what.
North’s friends used to stay for dinner frequently and often without warning. Since I was often making enough to have lunch leftovers it usually worked out, but occasionally I’d have to give everyone a smallish portion of whatever I was making.
But not everything has to be even steven. We’ve been to plenty of parties at friends’ houses and we don’t reciprocate because (other than kid parties) we are not party-throwing people. With one family who often had us over and who had two kids younger than ours, we’d give them hand-me-downs or have Noah shovel their snow.
Our dinner target time is 6:30 but often it’s 7:00 before we get it on the table (especially when Noah’s cooking). I made a salad with vegetarian chicken for dinner last night. That sounds kind of boring, but it’s a fun salad with apple, dried cherries, maple walnuts, and buttermilk-dill dressing. Tonight I’m making noodles and cabbage (more cabbage than noodles for me) with vegetarian kielbasa. Wednesday is vegetarian chicken soup with orzo and asparagus. Thursday is tortellini with Alfredo and broccoli and that’s the end of my dinners.
I’d lower your expectations about what you need to feed the neighbor kids for dinner and just throw some grilled cheese on the stove and stick an apple next to it. Bam, you’ve given them dinner. Then you don’t have to plan too far ahead. But also, I am always feeding extra kids and it has never even occurred to me to worry about reciprocation. If you are here when there is food, have some of it.
Groceries are so expensive lately. We used to eat for $100 a week and now I can carry $100 of groceries in one hand while I walk out to my car.
I agree with all of the above. There is no need to host someone just because you’ve been hosted.
I DO host a lot of kids at my house and I’d say 50% of the time someone stays for dinner it hasn’t been planned. But I have pretty low standards for what I will serve. Not as in poor quality food, but “this is what I’m making” and that’s it. I like to have a variety of fruits and veggies and snacky things so they can graze if they have particular likes/dislikes. Right now my current go-to is grilled cheese. It’s SO easy.
Honestly, I feel like that’s not bad for $200? I basically can’t leave the store without spending at least $80, even if I only have a handful of things in my basket. Groceries cost a lot. It irks me, but at the end of the day I can afford it. I hate to imagine going to the grocery store with extremely limited means and trying to make do. I LIKE going to the store. Yummy food. But some people are having to make crazy choices or switch to fewer fruits/veggies/whole foods and it makes me so, so sad. *Sigh*
We spend a lot on dairy, too. My husband and daughter like “good” cheese and golly it’s expensive!!
My grandmother would quiz me about what I’d been fed at other people’s houses, but I don’t think most normal people do that kind of thing… so whatever Carla will eat is likely what the other kids will want to as well, and it will be fine. It’s exciting for kids to experience something different.
And I agree with the comments saying the other family doesn’t even notice–when there are a bunch of people sitting down to dinner, one more really does not matter.
When my parents lived with us, there were six of us sitting down to dinner every evening plus two dogs, and it was like a dinner party every day. Now we’re down to one kid and two dogs, but it’s the time when the day is discussed and plans are made. I wonder if we’ll still set the table when it’s just us and the dogs…
It was solar new year yesterday, so I made four traditional Indian courses to celebrate.
I don’t know what the single most expensive item was… salmon, maybe?
WELL. I do have a pretty specific time when dinner is ready, mainly because my daughter likes to eat no later than 6 (if it’s later than that, she’s in the kitchen complaining). But I would also have trouble suddenly feeding extra people. Part of it is that my dinners tend to resemble yours on a lot of nights- things are kind of thrown together, Angie has one thing and my husband and I have something else. Sometimes we ALL THREE have separate things. And- when I do make an actual “dinner” dinner, which feeds all three of us, I usually don’t have much leftover. Like last night I made a stir fry which fed all three of us, with a little left over for my daughter to take in her lunch today. I guess there are nights where I purposely make a lot so there can be leftovers for the next night’s dinner- like a big pan of enchiladas. But that’s for THE NEXT NIGHT’S DINNER. I would be sad if I had to give it away to a neighboring kid.
I was wondering why you were buying canned pumpkin in April (to me, that is a September-November food item!) but then I saw the pumpkin curry on your list. I have a nagging feeling I’ve made that dish before. Or, at least I looked at the recipe if you mentioned it before. It sounds good!
Oh, that spontaneity of having an extra kid for dinner would NOT suit me well at all! I am with you 100%. It would make me so anxious and worried I’m not serving the “right thing.” I think you got some good advice here already – I like the idea of having the ingredients for a quick grilled cheese. All kids like that, right?!
I would also feel the need to reciprocate!
I usually try to start dinner around 6 when I can. It’s later on Wednesdays since I have HIIT at 6:30. Sometimes I’ll try to eat beforehand but I’m not used to eating so early (5:00-5:30!), so usually I’ll eat afterward and it needs to be something quick since I don’t get home until 7:30ish.
I think it’s awesome that Carla is getting exposed to different dinner’s with friends! I was often the one feeding extra kiddos, back in the day. I generally start dinner, or thinking of what I’m going to make for dinner around 5 and we eat anytime between 5:40-6:30. But, being two adults, we will eat just about anything, no pickiness involved.
The whole grocery shopping has become so expensive. And I think overall we are better off than you are since groceries tend to not be as expensive but its rough.
Good grief, having kids is stressful. This is something I literally never thought about. I hope you take the comments to heart – and also realize that the kids honestly don’t care what they eat. My main thing as a kid was making sure that I could eat something (I have weird food allergies). Other than that? As long as it wasn’t liver and onions, we were good. 😉