grocery shopping

Five for Friday on a Saturday
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Five for Friday on a Saturday

Did you know that it is nearly November?! Which means that I am going to be (supposedly) posting every day, for NaBloPoMo. (Considering I wrote part of this post on Tuesday, tried to post it Wednesday and Friday and got interrupted, NaBloPoMo may be a big fat pipe dream.) But what, pray tell, shall I write about during the course of that long and dreary month? If you have any burning questions for me, or ideas for posts you want to see, now’s your chance! My old Ask Me Anything form stopped working, so I have set up a new one right here. Please check it out and ask away!

I hope you have questions for me, because I have some questions for you.

When you make leftovers, how long do you expect those leftovers to stretch?


I used to actively dislike leftovers, but I have come around. Now, as long as it’s something I really like – fire fry! chipotle chicken tortilla soup! chipotle chicken tacos! I like-ah the spice! – I am happy to eat it day after day. Maybe not indefinitely, but I’d be happy eating any of those things I just mentioned for a whole week.

However. I just learned that my husband is happy eating a thing, and then eating it as leftovers, and that’s it. I should not find this as surprising as I do, based on his “we eat tacos too often” stance.

This is good for me, of course, because I wind up getting most of the yummy yummy fire fry/soup/tacos to myself. But it’s not so good when I am counting on not cooking for the number of days a food lasts.

Listen, there are most definitely things I don’t want to eat even a second time. For most things, though, I feel like the ideal amount of leftovers is enough for two meals AFTER the initial meal. But maybe I’m wrong?

What is the correct your preferred way to pack a grocery bag?

The other day at the grocery store, for the first time ever in my history of patronizing grocery stores, the checker requested that I put all my produce together to make it easier on the bagger.

I am just now realizing that usually, my produce goes on the belt last. So it’s probably always together already. But this time, I think I may have put some of the heavier produce (onions, sweet potatoes) on the belt first, and then withheld lighter non-produce items (tortilla shells, a quarter pound of deli ham) along with my tomato, bananas, and precious bell peppers (I cannot stand a bruised bell pepper, and I want them to go ON TOP). Perhaps the “all produce together” rule has always been in place, and I’ve only just now run afoul of it.

The checker seemed to feel weird about her request. (Maybe I caused her to feel weird, by remarking – in what I thought was a cheery, non-argumentative way – that no one had ever asked me to do that before.) She kept thanking me for rearranging my items on the belt. And then she gave me a semi-long explanation for why she’d asked me to put the produce together in the first place, which boils down to: the checkers like to bag like items together.

Lenny has Thoughts about how the baggers acked these bags.

Well. I found that FASCINATING. Since the pandemic, I have had quite a lot of experience bagging my groceries myself, and here is how I prefer to do it:

  • Between 2 and 4 heavy-ish things on the bottom of each bag (milk cartons, large yogurt containers, flour, sugar, large cans of tomato puree, cartons of ice cream)
  • A nice base of less heavy but sturdy/boxed items (boxed rice, mixed lettuce in a plastic clamshell, frozen pancakes, containers of salsa or guacamole, boxed pasta, crackers, butter, cream cheese)
  • Or, a nice base of less heavy/smaller cans (beans or tomato sauce or coconut milk)
  • Or, a nice base of heavy, sturdy produce (onions, potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, citrus fruits, iceberg lettuce)
  • The middle section is for meats, awkward and semi-sturdy vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, celery), and bagged items (shredded cheese, cookie mix, frozen peas or mango, chocolate chips, bagged rice/beans/lentils)
  • The top section is for light and/or delicate things (cilantro, green beans, bell peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, bananas, berries, bagged pasta, bread, chips)
  • Eggs and flowers go in a separate bag

I have most definitely run into grocery store baggers who, like, put all the canned goods in one bag. Or who put three items into each of ten separate bags. But I’ve dismissed those occasions as errors on the part of people who either don’t do the shopping and therefore don’t have to carry bags into their house, or are body builders, or, conversely, have no upper body strength whatsoever. I had no idea that, it seems, they have all been TAUGHT to do things this way.

The baggers at Trader Joe’s have been taught a different and far superior way. Without exception, they seem to possess clear understanding about which items should accompany one another, what should go on top vs on the bottom and – crucially important – how to pack a shit ton of groceries into the one solitary reusable bag you brought in from the car, so sure were you that you were only going to buy the three things on your list.

Tell me all your grocery bagging ways.

What Halloween candy have you bought this year?

Carla has persuaded me to buy two bags each of Brach’s candy corn and candy pumpkins. That is, so far, the ONLY Halloween candy I’ve purchased. I have no idea if my husband and I will even give out candy tomorrow. We haven’t decorated our yard, so it’s kind of unclear whether we even celebrate Halloween. But, more pertinent, I have not purchased any Halloween candy to hand out!

I’ve tried. I’ve been in Target a couple of times recently and looked at the Halloween selection with the express purpose of getting some to hand out. IT’S SO EXPENSIVE. A bag of, I think, 75 pieces of candy is TWENTY AMERICAN DOLLARS. That is ridiculous!

Well, I am apparently not the only one complaining about candy costs.

We get a good number of trick-or-treaters, so it’s not like we could buy one bag and call it a day. We usually buy two or three of the giant bags from Costco (I haven’t been to Costco recently, so I have no idea how much they cost). But the bags from Target are NOT BIG ENOUGH. They seem very eeny compared to years past. So it feels like we are getting much less candy for much more money. UGH.

(Edit: After I wrote, tried to, and failed to publish this post, I went to Costco. The bags there had 92 pieces of candy and cost about $21.99. More reasonable but still. My husband voted for turning off the porch lights and watching a scary movie instead of welcoming trick-or-treaters. This feels a little mean and a lot sad, but I left without buying anything.)

I didn’t think to order candy from Amazon, but it looks like that would have been the better option. Oh well, too late now. What are you doing?

Is this anxiety, or Something Real?

Necessary context: with the complete support of my doctor, I stopped taking anxiety medication a couple of months ago. So far, I have noticed that a) I am sleeping much better and feeling much less sleepy during the day and b) my anxiety has ticked up a bit.

I am currently in a spiral about a friendship, and I can’t tell if it’s justified or if it’s just anxiety. Probably I should just TALK TO MY FRIEND, right? But… what if there’s absolutely nothing wrong on my friend’s end, and I am being an overanalytic psycho? I don’t want to come off as clingy or desperate or obsessed or or or. But also… what if I don’t ask and our friendship just dissolves? I can FEEL that this is anxiety; my whole body is tense. My brain keeps coming up with all these very defensible ways that it Knows Something, and I’ve done Something Horribly Wrong, even though the plausible Wrongs are very vague and amorphous. (But plausible!) Also, this is the type of friend who – I think – would come to me if there were Something Horribly Wrong. I don’t see this friend feeling hurt or wronged or whatever and just… pretending things are okay. But then again: THINGS FEEL OFF. Anyway. Ugh. Perhaps the clearest path to take is to restart my anxiety medication.

In the meantime: based on your assessment of my very non-specific and brief explanation of this worry, is this anxiety, or is it Something Real? And whether it is or isn’t, what should I DO about it? If your advice is to reach out to my friend, I am going to need a script please.

Would you like to see a picture of my cat?

This is, of course, a rhetorical question because I am pretty sure the answer is yes. But I have locked myself into this Question Format and I can’t think of anything else (see previous bullet).

If, however, you are on the fence about whether you want to see the cat or not – I mean, there’s ALREADY a picture of him in the post – let me tell you this: Carla and I took him into our yard for an impromptu fall photo shoot yesterday.

He LOVED IT. He loves Outdoors, plus, he finds leaves fascinating. Once in awhile, a stiff breeze will send leaves showering from the trees in our yard, and he has to leap up to whatever window-adjacent surface he can reach so he can watch them fall and try to bap-bap them through the glass. Are they toys? Are they prey? Nobody knows.

That’s all I have for you today, Internet. Hope you have a pleasantly spooky Halloween, full of treats.

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Grocery Report and Dinners This Week

Something happened today that has never happened before: Carla got a ride home from school with a neighbor. 

(I will pause here to note that I have extreme anxiety about my child traveling in cars with anyone besides a few specific people. Outside of school bus drivers – shudder [and now I feel like I need an aside inside my aside to clarify that I think school bus drivers are saints, and my shudder is not toward them but towards the idea of complete strangers driving a seatbelt-free vehicle full of children on a freeway] – and the occasional hotel shuttle driver, Carla has ridden with a literal handful of drivers. So this was A Big Deal in many ways.) 

I took this glorious opportunity to avoid the school pickup drive and… went to the grocery store. I do know how to live it up, don’t I? It was one of those times when I just needed Two Things For Tonight’s Dinner. I wanted to use up the leftover goat cheese from yesterday’s frittata (which was easy and delicious; the only thing I might change going forward is either choosing a more flavorful sausage or omitting the sausage entirely, because it was undetectable) and the only thing I could think of was a salad. But I wanted blueberries for the salad and also we had no lettuce. So! I figured I could breeze in and get those two things and then breeze out. 

It never works out that way, does it? Have you ever gone into the grocery store, intending to buy only X items, and left with only X items? If so, HOW????? Once I was inside the grocery store, I decided this was IT. I was not going to go to the store again. I went twice last week, plus I went to Costco, and that was too much. So I figured I better on-the-fly come up with a meal plan for the week. 

Let’s see. We have all the ingredients for the meal I planned to make for Mother’s Day dinner, and then decided against in favor of takeout Mexican food. My husband recently expressed a desire for Southwest Salad, and I’m plenty happy doing two salads in a week. I could go for a stir fry. And… something else vegetable-y. 

Here’s what I ended up with.

Dinners for the Week of May 12-18

  • Slow Cooker Shredded Beef Ragu: All the ingredients are in my fridge right now (Well. The pappardelle is in the cupboard. You know what I mean.) because I was hung ho about making this for Mother’s Day and then when it came time to make it… I did not want to cook dinner.
  • Southwest Salad: I make this with chicken for my husband, salmon for myself.
  • Sheet Pan Veggie Shawarma: I have some cilantro from something last week just languishing in the fridge. Hopefully it will survive long enough for me to make it into this sauce.
  • Szechuan Stir Fry: I got zucchini and bell peppers for this stir fry, and I have some broccoli in the fridge I can throw in as well.

Wow. All of my meals start with S this week. That’s fun. (Is it?)

Okay, back to my riveting grocery store experience.

I was really fortunate in that a) I had a lot of the non-perishable ingredients for these meals already and b) I didn’t need a ton in the way of “staples.” But I still bought two bags worth of groceries, for a total of $85.60. That’s probably about half of what I typically spend – maybe even less than half – but it feels like an impossibly small haul of food for that amount, doesn’t it???

The single most expensive item in my cart today was a bag of frozen Italian meatballs for $9.49. This is one of the items of questionable nutrition my child will eat, and we were out. Chicken was next most expensive at $8.09 for three boneless skinless breasts, approximately 1/3 of a pound each. 

The third most expensive item, at $7.99, was the pint of blueberries I bought. I cannot help it; I am addicted to these blueberries. They are enormous and so sweet. I just cannot get enough of them. Of course, they last about five minutes in my home. But it is WORTH IT. 

The dairy stuff we get is super expensive, and we go through it so fast. We drink Fairlife milk ($5.49 for 52 oz) because it supposedly is kinder on some people’s digestive systems, and some of those people live in my house. We eat Fage yogurt ($6.99 for 32 oz) like it’s the fountain of youth because it is so versatile and so high in protein. 

I also got three individual Siggi’s yogurts ($1.00 apiece, on sale) and a package of honey roasted pecans for tonight’s salad ($3.99, yeesh), but the entire rest of my shopping cart was produce. I feel pretty good about that. Which is not to say that I feel BAD when my cart is full of canned beans and pasta and cereal and other packaged food. I just felt like I really overshot my “Two Things” plan, and at least I impulse bought a bunch of veggies, right???

Of course, there was no corn on the cob for the Southwest Salad, and who knows if the two heads of lettuce I got for tonight’s salad will leave enough lettuce for the second salad. So clearly I need to return to the grocery store despite my promises to myself. 

How much do you want to bet I leave with just the corn and the lettuce????

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Dinner Adjacent Topics + Desultory Dinners This Week 

Dinner Topic the First: My daughter has made friends with a family on our street that has three kids. Occasionally, she will be playing with the kids and the kids will be called into dinner, and Carla will get kind of swept up in the mix and end up eating dinner there. This has happened… hmm. Three times? Four times? I’m not sure. I always say yes because a) whatever gets Carla jazzed about eating dinner is okay by me and b) I like the idea of Carla getting exposed to what other people eat and how other people “do” dinner. 

Anyway, the kids were playing this weekend, and Carla brought one of the neighbors in to use the bathroom, and the neighbor kid asked quite cheerfully if she could stay for dinner. 

Well. It was nearing five pm and I had no dinner cooking, and in fact had no dinner planned. Carla was busy offering the neighbor some chicken nuggets when the other kids rang our doorbell and said their sister had to go home for dinner. (Carla ended up eating leftover salmon, edamame, and rice for dinner. I had a microwave meal; my husband had leftover spaghetti with meat sauce and an English muffin with peanut butter. Clearly the neighbor child didn’t miss much.)

When the kids rang the bell, it was five o’clock on the button, by the way. Even on the rare occasions when I have specified a time for dinner, I usually give myself about a thirty-minute cushion because I am so unbelievably terrible at estimating how long things will take to prepare, cook, and serve. 

I was thinking, this morning, about how unbalanced it feels that Carla has been over to their house for dinner multiple times and yet we haven’t had their kids over for dinner once. 

The thing is, it will never be spontaneous. I could never just, on a whim, have people over. People DO this, I know they do. But I feel completely off-kilter just thinking about it. A big part of it, I think, is the specific way we typically “do” dinner. Which is to say: I make something for Carla that I know she will eat, and I also make a completely separate dinner for my husband and myself to eat. We have been better about eating together as a family, but there are still many, many nights when Carla eats at 5:30 or 6:30 or somewhere in that timeframe, and then my husband and I eat dinner at 8:30 or 9:00 after Carla is in bed. 

This dinner style doesn’t really lend itself to having surprise extra people at the table, you know? 

Anyway. I do try to have lots of snacks in the warm weather months (note to self: get more snacks) so that the kids can come in and grab a snack when they’re playing, and it isn’t always Carla depleting the neighbors’ snack supplies. But I think having them over for dinner would have to be planned, in advance. Maybe the next time I plan to make tacos I should invite them over? But that would mean making double the tacos, right? Because I would have to invite all three kids, right? And what if they don’t want to come over? 

Dinner Topic the Second: I am still reeling a little after spending just shy of $200 at the grocery store today. The amount isn’t wildly out of the ordinary, by the way. I was just rather shocked because I have only two dinners on my meal plan this week, plus “ham sandwich,” and I already had nearly all of the ingredients for one of those meals already. So what exactly did all that money BUY?

We eat a ridiculous amount of dairy, I think that’s the main culprit. My husband eats yogurt daily, I make a smoothie with yogurt and milk daily, my daughter eats yogurt confections for dessert (I tolerate them because they have some protein and calcium in them) and continues to drink hot cocoa on the regular. We all adore cheese. Half and half is a necessity. Yogurt is not cheap, folks! Sure, the stracciatella yogurts were on sale for a dollar apiece, but I bought EIGHT of them. (Carla only recently learned that they are delicious. I was eating them for dessert, and now I have to share them with her.) Okay, I was curious, so I added it up and $71 of my total bill was devoted to dairy. The cream cheese was $6.99 a 16-oz box, the Fage was $6.99, and the Fairlife milk was $5.49.

Tea was also on sale, so I got three boxes. I drink a lot of tea, but I also have writing partners who come over and drink tea with me, so I need a wider variety than I might otherwise have. 

Carla requested “meat sticks” and then specified that they be “the red Chomps.” Fortunately, the red Chomps were on sale, so I got a bag of small ones for $6.99 and few of the large sticks at a dollar apiece. 

Usually when I spend a big hunk of money at the grocery store, it’s because I’ve purchased a lot of meat. Like when chicken is on sale, I buy a bunch of it. But the only meat I bought today was a) two on-sale hamburger patties for Carla ($4.88), b) a half-pound of ham ($5.60), for my husband’s ham sandwiches, and c) ten grilled shrimp ($10.56) for the pasta primavera because I am sick of chicken. (The shrimp, by the way, were the single most expensive item on my grocery list. Prepared foods are so convenient but so spendy.)

Let’s see. Tortillas, beans, and chocolate chips were all on sale, and we tend to eat a lot of each of those things, so I loaded up. I bought broccoli for… some fleeting reason that has since been left behind. No worries; I’ll eat it. Eggs, powdered sugar, cream cheese, butter, carrots, and (ew) golden raisins are for my Easter baking projects. Lettuce and onions because I use those things regularly. Jalapeños for a recipe, green beans for Carla. Tomatoes and bananas are for Carla snacking purposes. I bought apples because I am in the mood to make muffins. (My writing partner always has home made muffins for us to munch on while we write. I’m feeling some 100% self-inflicted muffin guilt, which I will address with muffin reciprocity.) Kind bars were on sale, and they have a good amount of protein, so I will stow them in my car for those days when I am in the car during mealtime. Nutella because Carla loves Nutella. Canned pumpkin even though it turns out I already had two cans of pumpkin in my pantry. Rolls for my husband’s ham sandwiches, hamburger buns for Carla, and sourdough bread because Carla is on a toast kick. It’s not nothing, that’s for sure, but is it really $200 worth of food???

I still need to procure lemon curd for the cupcakes this weekend, and coconut milk for the curry I’m making later this week. Trader Joe’s should have both, hopefully at lower prices than at my regular grocery store. 

And what dinners will I make with these groceries, you ask?

Dinners for the Week of April 14-20

  • Pasta Primavera with Shrimp: My husband is not excited about this meal and may be less excited still once he realizes the protein is shrimp. I am looking forward to all the veggies. 
  • Coconut Curry Chickpeas with Pumpkin and Lime: This was my husband’s request; I am not looking forward to it, although we’ve had it before and I like it okay. As is my custom with curries and stir fries, I will add bell peppers to amp up the veg quotient. And maybe the random broccoli I bought?
  • Ham Sandwich: One night this week, I am going on A Fun Adventure with a friend, which I am very much looking forward to, and I am leaving Carla and my husband to fend for themselves, dinnerwise. Hopefully the ham stretches to cover a few additional meals this week, as well. 
  • Easter Dinner with My Parents: A meal I do not have to cook! Cannot wait! 

What’s on your meal plan for the week? Do you have A Specific Time when dinner is on the table, or are you loosey-goosey like me? What was the single most expensive item you bought on your last grocery run?