If you have a middle schooler, you are probably well aware that dumpling squishies are the toy trend du jour. I cannot stand squishies; I do not enjoy squishing them, not to mention they strike me as portable petri dishes. But my kid loves squishies and had some spending money in her pocket last week… just as I happened to have an errand at a business right next door to a toy store. The store only had “knock off” dumplings, according to Carla. But she did find a mini ice cube that she liked. (Needoh ice cubes are also So Hot Right Now.) Shall we take bets on how quickly a totally clear cube of goo disappears among the chaos of her bedroom or backpack?
Carla had some money left over, so we went to Five Below after school Friday, just to check out their squishy selection. (By the way, Five Below is now a wild misnomer; it seemed like most things in the store were seven dollars and up.) Carla assessed the situation and determined there were no good squishies. The store was planning a “dumpling drop” for Saturday morning, and already had signage indicating where people should line up on the sidewalk. I recall some news stories from my own childhood about parents stampeding stores on Black Friday to get the latest It Toy, but… now we are lining up for squishies? I am not judging, I am just observing with mild bafflement.
We did not leave empty handed. Carla found a (seven-dollar) hamster-in-a-ball toy that she insisted Lenny would love. He does love it.
You know what else is apparently a big thing among the seventh grade set? Hacky sacks. (Carla informed me yesterday that they are actually called footbags, and that Hacky Sack is a brand name.) (FOOTBAGS? No wonder “hacky sack” became a proprietary eponym for that kind of toy. “Footbag” sounds like an old-timey insult.) Kids in my middle school and high school played hacky sack, and that was back in the 1900s! And by the time my classmates got to them, they’d been around for decades! I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that they are experiencing a renaissance; I saw a bunch of Lisa Frank paraphernalia in Five Below, and hoo boy did I love Lisa Frank in the 80s. I wish it had been this prevalent back when I did Carla’s rainbow leopard birthday party, but I guess we were ahead of the trend.
Anyway, hacky sacks. They’re back. Did you play hacky sack in school? I did not. There was a particular category of kids who played hacky sack, and I was not one of them. I did date one of them though. He was not a good guy, although that had nothing to do with his hacky sack appreciation or his social group.
My parents, though generous and thoughtful gift givers, were not the type to run out and buy the latest toy just because we were foaming at the mouth for it. Not that it was anywhere near as easy to access trends back in the twentieth century, especially in a small, rural town. Some kids managed it, though. One trend I really remember wanting was jelly sandals. Everyone had jelly sandals except me. I wanted them so fervidly.
One friend – one of those who seemed to always be on top of the current trends, and whose parents seemed happy to ensure that she was always on the cutting edge when it came to fashion and toys; did you have That Kid in your class? – grudgingly allowed me to borrow a pair of her jellies. They were not comfortable. My toes got stuck in the holes. The backs of the shoes pinched my heels. Pebbles and grass got trapped between my feet and the soles of the shoes. How could anyone walk around in those things?! Why were they so popular?!
I also remember longing for a Slip ‘N Slide. My friend J’s parents would set up the Slip ‘N Slide at birthday parties and sleepovers, and it was so fun. I have vivid memories of standing in a giggly line of swimsuit-clad girls, digging our toes into J’s lush green lawn, waiting for our turn to slide on the yellow runway amid a spray of cool water.
My family lived out in the country with no access to city water, and the well water was bad for the grass. (My dad literally pumped water out of the river to water our lawn and trees.) So my parents put the kibosh on a Slip ‘N Slide, dashing my childhood dreams to bits. Obviously, the instant Carla was old enough to understand how a Slip ‘N Slide works, I got one for her. I was so excited to be able to provide this childhood joy that I had been so painfully denied to my own child. She… did not like it. I tried it and also did not like it. It kind of… hurt. It wasn’t as slippery as it should have been, and the material kind of stuck to my skin. After a few experiments – more water? more speed? – the thing ripped and that was that.
This is all to say that I am not immune to the siren song of The It Thing. The desire to be part of something is powerful, even now. (So far I have resisted weighted vests and vibration plates, but I am as susceptible to the pull of viral trends as much as the next guy.) I also understand the simple need to know what all the hype is about.
On the other side of the scale sits the haunting image of my high school friend’s mom, who amassed a massive number of Beanie Babies because she was sure – sure – that their value would skyrocket. Was her plan to fund her retirement with their eventual sale? I’m not sure. But I see her Beanie Babies display in my nightmares, a soft-bodied glassy-eyed red-labeled expenditure of hundreds and hundreds of dollars.
Even though Five Below was a miss, squishy-wise, Carla is still positive. We have another toy store to visit, and in the car she was cheerfully imagining that this third establishment would have a whole selection of dumplings and ice cubes for her to choose from.
Carefully, gently, not trying to burst her happy anticipatory bubble, I asked her if she remembered how popular Stanley tumblers were a couple of years ago. Does anyone still use a Stanley? (Carla doesn’t. She uses an Owala that is spillproof, unlike the Stanley.) (I see that Stanley now makes a spillproof tumbler, but that wasn’t the trend when Carla got hers.)
What about the Lululemon belt bag that she had to have? When was the last time she used that?
“This is different, Mom,” she told me. “Everyone loves squishies.”
