Writing this morning is somewhat difficult because a) I woke up eleven billion times last night and b) my daughter, whose energy level could power the sun, does not agree with my definition of “time alone” and c) my clothes smell like I doused them with eau de mildew. 

Difficulties aside, surely I can come up with THREE things??

• My in-laws gave us, as a housewarming gift, this ice maker. My husband and child have been lusting after this ice machine since 2022, after my daughter went to a birthday party at a house where one such ice maker lived. While I enjoy nugget ice – The Good Ice – as much as the next person, I have always discouraged moving forward with this purchase because it is such an extravagance. Do we NEED The Good Ice? No, we do not. So we have talked about it, and discussed it as a gift idea for two years. And now, my husband’s very generous parents have gotten us one of our very own!!!! My mother-in-law, when I tried to gently deter her from buying it for us (it’s SO expensive), said that it is exactly what a gift should be: something you want but would never buy for yourself. Anyway, it arrived this week and I have been enjoying The Good Ice for two days now and it is glorious. Its arrival is also quite fortuitous, as the ice maker in our fridge has decided to stop working. SIGH. Anyway: if you are in need of a completely delightful and unnecessary extravagance, I highly recommend this one. (Perhaps it will go on sale for Prime Day?)

• Speaking of broken things in our house, as I so often do: someone is coming out today to look at the hood vent fan. In case you have lost track of this particular home complaint in the sea of home complaints I make on the regular, the fan comes on at random without provocation. It is very loud, especially at Level 3, and has begun the charming habit of switching between levels of its own volition. Yesterday, I counted and it went on 13 times in one hour. I stopped counting after the 34th time the fan came on and put in my earbuds and turned on an audiobook. We have taken to leaving the fan on overnight, because even with my bedroom door closed, the sound of the fan coming on jars me from sleep. I am sure this is doing wonders for our electric bill. Please send all your positive fixing thoughts toward the repairperson.

While I fully 100% realize that all houses need work, and that dealing with things that break or fail is part of being a homeowner, sometimes I wish I could grab the previous homeowner by the shoulders and shout, “Did you KNOW about these things?????” We had an inspection, and NONE of the things that have happened turned up on the inspection because they were not part of the scope of the inspection. I mean, I’m glad that we didn’t have, like, FOUNDATION problems or something, but that would have impacted our offer, you know? Instead, the grill doesn’t work and the ice maker has broken and the hood vent has a mind of its own and the fabric softener tray in the washing machine doesn’t work and the doorbell hated everyone and everything and the dishwasher only sometimes cleans the dishes etc. etc. (Not to mention the bats and the mice and the pool heater we had to replace and the garage door that stopped working and the carpenter bees.) It’s all relatively little stuff but goodness does it add up. Would we have declined to buy the house had we known all this stuff? Probably not. But I know for damn sure we would have OFFERED LESS.

• Abrupt Subject Change: Let’s discuss tween interpersonal relationships!!! Carla has been struggling with a neighborhood friend and I am struggling with how to help her deal with the problem. It’s nothing severe like bullying. It’s more like the friend is driving her bonkers. I can empathize; the behavior sounds super annoying. But since the kids both live in the neighborhood, it’s to everyone’s benefit that they at least find a way to co-exist. My advice was probably inadequate and impossible to execute, if I remember anything about adult advice I got when I was a kid. Basically, I tried to narrow things down to two priorities: 1. Express your needs, and 2. Be kind. We discussed possible motivations for the friend’s actions, we talked about empathy, we role played a little bit. Who knows if any of it will work when applied to the real life situation, but I hope she feels like she has at least a partial strategy for dealing with this friend. I feel for her. Relationships can be SO HARD. Especially things like this, where you kind of have to get along, but you might not choose to be together in different circumstances. I suppose it is good practice for having a job, though. And good practice in expressing your needs/boundaries clearly and firmly while still being respectful and kind. (This is not a situation where the boundaries being trampled are non-negotiable; in that case, I would not expect kindness or even, in some situations, respect.) (It is very difficult to teach this stuff when one is a lifelong people pleaser. I am learning, too.)

By the way, I am going to re-wash all the mildew afflicted clothing with a combination of Oxi Clean and vinegar; I happen to be fresh out of vinegar but will procure some this evening.