Mountain Time

I have just returned from the loveliest two-week trip: a drive through the Canadian Rockies with my husband, bracketed on either end by precious time with my parents in their mountain home. I feel a little jet-lagged, water-logged, flooded with the joy of a truly pleasurable vacation.

Let’s not bury the lede: I got to meet Nicole, in person. She is, unsurprisingly, gorgeous and warm and generous and kind. She and her husband showed us the most delightful time. We drank really good wine. We ate a dinner of quinoa, roasted veggies, and lentils that I am still thinking about, plus a kale salad with the best Caesar dressing, followed by a luscious lemony cake topped by homegrown raspberries. I got to meet REX, and give him pets and tell him to his face that he is the softest, handsomest boy. I got to chat with Nicole’s son, who is one of the most charming, attentive, interesting young people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and he allowed me to hug him even though I am apparently of the age where I refer to twenty-somethings as “young people.” I got to ogle Nicole’s garden, and admire her prolific zucchini plants (she gave me three monstrous zucchini to take home; they were delicious). I did not take nearly enough pictures, or spend nearly enough time with Nicole. Our husbands are, obviously, fantastic, and I think next time we will allow them space to do their own thing so Nicole and I can cover all the extremely important topics we didn’t get to during our much-too-short time together.

An extremely distinguished gentleman.

Driving through British Columbia and Alberta with my husband was magical. Spending time together, just the two of us: It feels both simplistic and true to say that I enjoy his company. We travel well together. He’s a thoughtful and careful planner, and I like to think I’m an agreeable and supportive companion.

We listened to a podcast recommended by Engie, DNFed one audiobook and got a good chunk of the way through another. We giggled over Canada’s road signage (it seemed to us that things like “no services 110 km” would be more helpful before we’d passed the last town for 110 km) and wished that all US highways would follow Canada’s lead with the number of passing lanes they include. We stared in awe at the landscape and pulled over many, many times to try to capture the jaw-dropping beauty of the mountains and turquoise lakes with our phones. We ate tons of delicious food (my favorite, next to Nicole’s home cooking, was a meal of birria tacos in Banff) and did lots of sightseeing.

We visited multiple local bookstores, and my husband encouraged me to buy some souvenirs. (I also bought a really excellent book for a friend and had the author sign it.)

We encountered a lot of wildfire smoke. Sometimes it obscured almost everything.

Sometimes it leant an ethereal magic to our views.

Sometimes it disappeared at just the right moment for us to experience the pristine splendor of the landscape.

We didn’t see any wildlife at all, beyond a few birds and mammals that we can see in our own backyard, thank you very much.

Speaking of wildlife, we did admire our cat, via the cat cam. He spent a lot of time sitting glumly on the counter, waiting for someone (me?) to come tell him to get off. He also spent one morning exploring my mother-in-law’s set up for making hot fudge. He went so far as to get in the pot, which is horrifying and hilarious in equal measure. (Don’t worry: we did let her know that her hot fudge vessel had been contaminated before she started cooking.) I love that he looks directly at the cat cam. He knows (I fully believe) that he’s doing something we would not approve of, and he knows that we know what he’s doing, and he wants us to know that he knows we know, and he’s doing it anyway.

We had a wonderful time together, and loved the parts of Canada we saw. I hope someday soon we can explore other provinces… and perhaps visit Allison and Elisabeth in their corners of their stunning country.

Even though it’s a place I visit regularly (although nowhere near often enough), my parents’ mountain home is no less stunning or special.

Spending time with my parents feels both mundane and precious. We do things we’ve been doing for decades – walk the same mile-long forest loop, brave the black cold of the same lake, sit on the deck listening to hundred-year-old aspen gossip in the breeze – while knowing there will be a last time for each of these experiences.

Being among the mountains makes me feel small and insignificant and acutely aware of the vastness of time and the ephemeral nature of our lives.

I’m an introspective kind of gal, as you are well aware, and I spent a lot of this trip thinking about time. The mountains wrap me in a paradoxical kind of time warp, where I feel both the speed of time passing by and a simultaneous timelessness.

My parents are aging, I cannot deny that. In fact, several of our conversations this trip centered around estate planning, on things my husband and I need to know when their mountain home becomes ours. My daughter is now a teenager, nearly my height, about to begin eighth grade. My husband and I are solidly, undeniably middle-aged.

And yet: everything is the same as it’s always been.  

Even though the individual aspen that make up the skyline around my parents’ house have been around for a mere century, their underground root systems are thousands of years old. The peaks I admire as my dad guides our thirty-year-old boat around the lake were thrust into being fifty million years ago. Glaciers and water and tectonic shifts have sculpted the mountains and valleys into their current form over the intervening millennia. It is astonishing to me that I can admire the artistry of forces so enormous I can hardly conceptualize them, that I am alive for this eyeblink of a moment, that I can choose to spend my time with the people I love most while surrounded by such extraordinary beauty.

I am bobbing, breathless, in the same lake I’ve been swimming in since I was a little girl, the same lake my father visited as a boy, and his father before him. My daughter, shrieking, leaping into the bracing deep beside me, simultaneously thirteen and five and two and ages I have yet to experience. Around us, a crenellation of stately serene peaks that have stood sentry over each of us in turn, in a valley that was once itself a massive inland sea.

Cat Questions

Did you know that my tiny baby kitten is now an enormous ADULT CAT?


Because he is a fancy hypoallergenic purebred cat, we know the exact date of his birthday, and it was this past week.

We got him a hat and a bandana, neither of which he enjoyed. But he seems to feel quite dapper in the bowtie.

We got him a present. He LOVES it.

In his honor, I thought I would devote a post to some pressing cat questions. Questions that you have asked about this particular cat, and questions I have about cat parenting.

Is this cat’s name Lenny or Leo?

The answer to this question is yes. Okay, that’s not helpful. The real answer is, his name is Leo in my household and at the vet, but his name is Lenny in my heart. I lobbied so hard to call him Lenny, but I was overruled by my husband and child. Thus, he goes by Leo at home (Or Leo-cat. Or Mr. Fluffy Pants.). But I feel so much glee that so many blog readers continue to refer to him as Lenny.  It is a delight that my much-longed-for name persists here in the digital world. Julie, in particular, reminds me that she thinks of Lenny Kravitz, and that brings me a lot of joy because I am pretty my cat thinks that his human form would bear strong resemblance to this:

In my opinion, he often shares more similarities with this other beloved if fictional Lenny:

Do you really bathe your cat?

I have mentioned several times that I bathe my cat, and this is often met with perplexity. Cats are, after all, self-cleaning. My cat demonstrates his own personal grooming activities multiple times per day, sometimes in a slightly insulting manner right after one of us has pet him.

Nonetheless, I bathe him approximately once a month, using water and original Dawn. I do this for three reasons, in no particular priority: 1. To get/keep him accustomed to being bathed, so that it isn’t traumatic to either of us. 2. To address occasional hygienic issues that affect the pantaloons area. 3. To manage the tendency of his fur to become, over time, slightly greasy – a result of his diet or, more likely, the incessant petting by hands that may or may not have food residue on them.

I used to bathe him in the bathtub, but it hurts my back. So I have begun to give him a shower. He doesn’t seem to mind the water. I hold him and the only time he seems slightly perturbed is when I lather him. He lets me know he is perturbed by gently increasing his grip on my shoulders and mewing plaintively a few times.

He is obsessed with the shower. Loves to get in it, loves to catch drips from the shower head, loves to lie outside of it on the bath math, loves to chase water droplets on the shower doors.


I blow dry him with a hair dryer that I prop up on books and point at where I am holding him on my lap and combing him. He seems to enjoy that part of the process. This system works, but it’s not ideal. Sometimes I daydream about getting a fancy pet blow dryer, like this one. There’s also this drying box that is WAY too expensive but that doesn’t stop me from looking at it. This one is more in my price range, and it’s also a brush.

Now I have some questions for you.

Where does all the FUR come from?

Lenny is a Siberian, and he has luxurious medium-length fur. I brush him at least once daily. AT LEAST ONCE. I vacuum at least once daily as well. And yet, every time I turn around, or every time the cat moves from one location to another, a tumbleweed of fur trundles lackadaisically across the floor. HOW? And also WHY?

The cat breeder warned me that Lenny would have two shedding seasons each year: spring and then fall. So far, neither season has ended. Shedding season appears to take place all year long. I do not like it.

Is there a special brush I should be using? I have two combs and this brush (which Leo does not like) and there are too many options for me to choose from; I find it overwhelming.

How much should I be feeding the cat?

As a reader of this blog, you are well aware of how much I fret about feeding my human child, right? Well, I worry about the cat’s food intake EVEN MORE. I find the entire feeding situation completely impossible. Everything I read (and also the cat breeder) said that we should give our cat both wet and dry food. Wet because his breed and/or sex has a propensity for developing crystals in the urinary tract, which can be dangerous and potentially fatal; the extra moisture in the wet food helps ensure he stays hydrated, which is one way to prevent the crystals from forming. Dry because it can help his teeth stay strong, and also because you can leave dry food out longer than you can the wet food.

Severely malnourished and also STARVING.


All the food containers say how much you should be giving your cat. There are tons of websites that offer guidance about how many calories a cat should consume, based on age and weight and indoor/outdoor status. And yet I still feel like I have NO IDEA. Sometimes he will scarf down a whole can of food. Other times he will barely nibble at it. Some days I go to refill his dry food and it’s all gone, other days he has hardly touched it. Sometimes he shows a clear preference for one flavor of cat food over another. Other days, he will turn up his nose at his favorite flavor or gobble up the entire plate of his least preferred flavor. He seems to have regular bathroom habits. He seems to be active and happy. He seems to be a fine weight and shape. Is he getting enough calories or not? Is he malnourished? Is he overweight? Does he need more flavor variety? Does he need less flavor variety? Am I leaving out too much dry food?

What do cat owners REALLY DO about the litter box?

The litter we use says 1) fill clean, dry litter box with 3” to 4” of litter; 2) scoop waste twice daily and refill box as necessary; and 3) replace entire box once a month. The litter website also says that we should replace the entire litter box every six to twelve months.

Is this what we’re doing, cat owners? Are we cleaning out and replacing all the litter every month? Are we replacing the entire litter box every six to twelve months, and, if so, is that only plastic litter boxes (which is what we have) or does that apply to stainless steel ones as well? I “scooped waste twice daily” for the first couple of months, but the cat tends to fulfill the majority of his litter box needs at night, so it seemed pointless and now I do it once a day.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

My particular cat has not been very vocal. His mews have been few and far between. The most regular vocalization he has is when he welcomes us home. He sits on the kitchen side of the closed laundry room door and when we open it, he stretches and greets us with a little “mrmrmr!” Although… he does seem to be exercising his voice more frequently now that he’s getting older. It’s still rare enough, though, that any time he mews, his humans will react with extreme sympathy: “What buddy? What is it? Are you okay?” Sometimes it seems like he’s asking where we are. Sometimes it seems like he’s expressing a complaint. But most of the time, I have no idea what he’s trying to tell me.

What I am trying to tell you is of UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

Is this like having a human child, who starts out with grunts and then moves on to babbling and then to words or word-stand-ins? Will I eventually understand exactly what he wants, or are we always destined to stare uncomprehendingly into one another’s eyes?

Why are your pants so fluffy?!?!

A question for the ages.

I really hope you have some answers, Internet. But please share any cat questions – about my specific cat or cats in general – as well. I certainly won’t be able to answer an of them, but I would of course fret easily about any and all things that haven’t yet caught my attention.

Seven for Sunday

Thank goodness for Elisabeth: her F.I.G. Collective project is not only keeping my brain primed to find things to be grateful for this month, but getting me to blog when I feel completely sapped of post ideas.

Here are seven things I’ve been especially thankful for over the past week.

Sunday, February 15: Carla has the day off tomorrow (for President’s Day), so the three of us plus my parents left town for a mini ski getaway. We had great snow, great weather, and a lot of fun. I adore skiing, and I am so grateful to be able to do something I love, with the people I love.

The morning started out foggy but the snow was perfect and no one was there!

Monday, February 16: The grocery store still has a TON of beautiful Valentine’s Day floral arrangements – and they’re all half off! I snapped up this cute little planter.

Tuesday, February 17: Even though we hire a cat sitter to come take care of the kitty twice a day while we’re out of town, he acts as though we have abandoned him for years to fend for himself. He demonstrates his relief at our return through days of intense and unending purrs and Velcro-ing himself to our sides, and I’m not going lie: I love it.

Who knew purring could be so accusatory?

Wednesday, February 18: Guess what arrived in the mail today?!?! What a thrill to be able to experience Nicole’s writing in book form, and to have my own copy of her first novel for my home library.

Thursday, February 19: I had my annual physical with my doctor today. I am grateful that all my labs are normal. I am also grateful that my doctor listens to me and that she was happy to refill prescriptions and submit orders for my first ever colonoscopy. Am I looking forward to this procedure? Hell no. But I have a family history of colon cancer and I am grateful that I’ll be able to get some insights into my intestinal health.

I really would like to decline, but I am NOT GOING TO.

Friday, February 20: For the first time in A WEEK, I sleep through the entire night without waking up. I have been seeing many of the wee hours of the morning lately, and when I’m in a spate of poor sleep it’s easy to feel like it will always be that way. I’m so thankful that I am still capable of sleeping six hours in a row.

Saturday, February 21: Today is the bat mitzvah of a family friend, and it was such a joy to witness her confidence and satisfaction as she led the service in Hebrew. I’ve known this kiddo for more than half a decade now, and as I watched her recite the Torah portion of the service, I could see her little second-grade face superimposed over the face of the beautiful young woman she’s become. Being able to watch Carla grow up and into herself is, of course, such a gift, but I am surprised by how moving it is to watch her friends grow up alongside her. The entire day was joyful and celebratory and I am so thankful to have been part of it.

The cat is wondering why I am using him as a prop.

That’s all I’ve got for you today, Internet. Snow is falling quietly, the cat is waiting for me to play with him, my family is still asleep. I hope you found many things that filled your heart with gratitude and joy this week, and that the week ahead is similarly full.