I am so scattered lately. So. Scattered. Is it the time change? Is it perimenopause? Am I experiencing the early signs of dementia? WHO KNOWS.
Keeping Track of Things You Need to Do: This feels like the dumbest question ever (and yet I feel like I have asked the same or a very similar question before, which… well, it says a lot), but I am 100% serious: How do you keep track of things you need to do?
Back in the middle ages of 2005 or so, I kept a physical planner. At least, I’m pretty sure I did; I remember buying extra pages to insert into the planner. I am assuming that’s how I kept on top of tasks and meetings etc. When I worked in an office, everyone used Outlook to keep track of those things. I have a dim recollection of getting a little pop-up notification on my screen five minutes before my next meeting. For years now, I’ve been keeping all my appointments and things in my phone’s calendar. But more and more often, I find that I’m straight up MISSING things. I failed to show up for a doctor’s appointment last fall, which is super embarrassing, in large part because my husband finds it SO frustrating when people fail to show up for appointments with him. I have been *sure* that I already had appointments on my calendar, only to find that I had never scheduled them. The other day, I was supposed to attend an informational meeting and, even though I rescheduled plans because of it, and even though my entire family was aware I needed to attend this meeting, I forgot about it completely. If I make any tiny deviation in my normal morning routine, I will forget critical necessities for myself and family members. Let me tell you, I feel like I am losing my mind.
One thing that has helped, slightly, is for me to program multiple “alerts” into each calendar entry. So if I have a hair appointment, I put in an alert for a week prior to the appointment, then for a day prior to the appointment, and finally, for an hour prior to the appointment. This seems to do the trick. But, and this is CRUCIAL, it only works if I remember to program the alerts, which I apparently did not do for the recent informational meeting.
I am pretty sure I complained in recent months on this very blog about forgetting to take my regular daily medications, and I resolved that by a) taking everything at one time instead of some in the morning and some at night, and b) programming a recurring alarm into my phone, with the title “Take medication.” I suppose I could do that with lots of things, but also I am wary of having too many alarms. That seems like it will become quickly and counterproductively overwhelming.
I have spent way too much time thinking, plaintively, “But I used to be able to just remember things!” For whatever horrifying or normal reason, I can no longer count on “just remembering things.” What I *do* need to do is find a system, because I am tired of and irritated about feeling like a flaky dumbass so often.
Good Chips: It’s no secret around here that I love me some tortilla chips. My kid loves plain old Tostitos, but they have become prohibitively expensive over the past six to twelve months. I only ever buy tortilla chips if they are on sale or if I happen to be at Trader Joe’s when I am in need of tortilla chips. This restriction is how I discovered these chips; they were on sale at my local grocery store. And they are SO GOOD. Flaky and crunchy and light. Good flavor, good salt level. They taste pretty darn close to the handmade tortilla chips you get at a Mexican restaurant.
Workout Workaround: A few months ago, I strained my forearm. It has been painful ever since, and hurts even when I use that hand to lift something light, like a carton of yogurt. This means that I haven’t been able to lift weights, even though strength training is my preferred method of exercise. I tried resting the arm, I tried stretching it, I tried whining about it anyone who would listen. Nothing worked. But then I found this video with some specific massages and exercises for forearm pain. I wouldn’t say it’s fully resolved the pain, but it has helped SO MUCH. I have also decided that I can’t just never lift weights again. But instead of doing a few reps of heavy weights, I decided to seek out some workout videos featuring high reps of small weights. This one is my favorite so far. Some of the exercises strain my arm even with my lightest weight (5 pounds / 2.27 kg), so when I encounter one of those, I use no weight at all. I have been pleased with how sweaty I get during these workouts and by how shaky my arms and legs and abs get by the end of the video.
Summer Stripes: We have reached the portion of the year where I am longing for an all new wardrobe of spring and summer clothing. Not that the weather is cooperating; I went for a walk with a friend yesterday and had to wear gloves and my winter coat, and for the first half of our time together I was kicking myself for not bringing a hat and scarf as well. But the heart wants what it wants.
Currently, my heart is fixated on summer weight pants with a vertical stripe. I have tried buying several pairs of pants of this nature, but nothing – so far – has stuck. First of all, these pants sold out after I’d ordered them, but before I received them. Boo. They seem perfect. I am on the fence about these jeans. On the one hand, they are cute enough. On the other hand, they are jeans and I really wanted something light and breezy. On the other other hand, they are light and I feel like light colors emphasize the wrong parts of my body. These pants are cute in theory but look terrible on my actual body. These pants are pretty cute, and I like the material, which is silky. But they are black and I really want blue pants. Maybe I will order these.
The main problem with these pants of my heart, aside from them not looking great on me, is that I am now struggling to differentiate them from pajamas. I don’t really want to look as though I’m gallivanting about the world in pajamas.
Obligatory Cat Photo: My cat is weird and adorable.
I am experiencing a similar sort of scattered brain lately, and I have started using a weekly paper planner. It’s a pad you tear off, so a new page for each week. On Sundays I go through and transfer everything from my digital calendar to the paper one and add things like meal ideas, to-dos, etc. One thing I particularly like is that I can easily transfer things I know I won’t get done or want to push to the following week by just flipping the page and writing them in. It fees a little redundant, but I also keep it in a place where the whole family can see it and sometimes it reminds them of things too.
I’m sorry (but also comforted) to hear that I am not the only one going through this muddled brain phase. A weekly paper planner sounds scary, Jaida! It has been so long since I have used a planner effectively!
You must read SHU’s book and listen to her podcast. She has great tips for airtight task caputre.
Ugh, Sarah, this is SO EMBARRASSING but I *have* SHU’s book and I haven’t read it yet! If the solution is there, I am going to start it today.
I think we are all scattered because of, you know, ALL THIS.
But in terms of not forgetting things, whew, I do NOT rely on my memory for that. I write everything down in a planner that I keep on the kitchen counter. It’s a weekly calendar so there is space for each day of the week, and then a space for extra “to-do” items. I write literally everything down – appointments, what we are having for dinner, what day I’m washing the sheets, what day I’m buying groceries, what exercise I’m doing. Every single day. And then the to-do list is just for things that week, and I check them off as I go. I don’t use my phone at all for this because I need to see everything at a glance.
Are tortilla chips expensive? I don’t think I’ve noticed a big difference here!
I am having to do some deep breathing about writing everything down. Not that there is that much to write down, it just feels overwhelming to start.
MOVING ON. Yes! Tortilla chips seem to have skyrocketed in the past year or two. I used to be able to get a regular size bag of Tostitos for $2.50, on sale. Not sure what the regular price was, but it wasn’t AWFUL — I’m going to say like $3.99 or $4.50 or something. But NOW. Now, the very same bag of chips is ON SALE for $5.49 at the grocery store or $4.59 at Target. (The grocery store app doesn’t list the normal price, but at Target, they are normally $5.19 per bag.) This strikes me as bonkers. Tortilla chips should be $2.50! Not DOUBLE THAT on SALE!!!! I have strong feelings regarding chip pricing.
I am very much afraid this is part of aging! It’s probably 10 or 15 years since I started saying, “If I say ‘I’ll have to remember that,’ please hand me a pen.”
I use different methods to keep on top of things, not that it’s 100% foolproof (which I know as the fool involved). I should write about this on my own blog!
Oooh yes, please write about your methods!
I say go back to 2005 and try a paper planner 🙂
Can I go back to 2005 and get my 24-year-old skin, body, and brain too please?! 😉
Hell, I’d go back to 2005 and get my 40 year old skin, body, and brain! The picture by my comment is from my 40th birthday party, and yeah, I don’t look like that anymore.
I have a dry erase board and markers in my kitchen that I write dates/appointments/lists of to dos on. I make sure to look at it every day. I also tell Alexa to remind me of certain things. I look at my paper calendar too. It’s finding the multiple methods of reminding that work for you. My phone doesn’t work for me. I get distracted by it too much. Or the reminder is too fleeting and I promptly forget about it. That cat has such personality. What a beauty!
I think you are on to something about the fleeting quality of the phone reminder. It is too easy to ignore or to click away from it and never find it again. I guess I hadn’t really considered using a multi pronged approach, but that’s smart!
Oh gosh, the struggle is real. We have a big calendar on the fridge, I have a small month at a glance calendar next to my desk, I keep a small pad of paper with a To Do list for the day.
Mulder used to get in positions like Lenny, and it never failed to make me laugh. If he was on the sofa or a bed, he wouldn’t jump down, he would slide like that.
Ha – I bet that position is even more charming/perplexing on a big dog!
This is real. I use a weekly whiteboard calendar on the fridge. On Sunday, I review my upcoming week in my Google calendar and add everything to the fridge calendar. That way, it’s not only me who has to remember everything. My kids and husband can see too, so no excuses haha! (And they do look and use this as well so WIN)
It sounds like a big visual reminder could be a missing part of my plan… and we happen to have a white board right next to the door, so I might as well make use of it!
I’m adoring the obligatory cat photo. Lizzie says she wants equal time on Marmelade Gypsy! I keep lists. Sometimes alarms if I’m out of my routine. And a written planner-type calendar right in front of me. I never was good at doing it on the phone. You can’t beat paper!
I will add my voice to Lizzie’s for equal time!
Lists used to be my saving grace, but then I got away from them and feel like I don’t know how to use them anymore! Isn’t that weird?!
I love all the whiteboard users! We also use a whiteboard to keep track of the week, and we have a big monthly calendar for future stuff. It works well. I can’t keep track of scheduling with my phone – I’ve got to see it on paper.
Thank you for the cat photo!
Okay, I am feeling more and more persuaded that whiteboard is a crucial tool I need to use! Thank you for adding another vote in its favor!
Well, I triple-booked myself yesterday even WITH stuff written down, so I don’t know what to tell you. I also finally realized I could program alerts and yet still forget to program them. I also ALSO have a calendar on the wall which I really try to put stuff on so I can see the whole week/month rather than just checking the day on my phone. Bottom line: brain is broken and I’m just hoping I don’t remember anything crucial.Taking meds morning and night is finally pretty much second nature, except sometimes I still forget. I also have a wrist/hand strain that is making both yoga and weight lifting really difficult.
“Bottom line: brain is broken.” SIGH. But also YES, SEEMS THAT WAY OVER HERE.
Yep- write everything down. Maybe we’re getting senile, but I also think we have to hold a lot more in our brains now than we did when we were younger. I mean- think of the things we have to worry about now, that we were happily oblivious of when we were teenagers.
i’m going to look at that video for forearm massage- because of my job, I’m constantly battling some kind of pain in my wrists or forearms. A couple weeks ago I had a wrist pain so bad I couldn’t lift weights, but now it’s resolved. Phew.
I’ll be on the lookout for those chips! I also just buy whatever is on sale. My daughter and her friends like tortilla chips, and I’m sure you can imagine how quickly a group of teenagers can inhale a bag.
Leo- hee hee!!!
I would check out SHU’s book! She has lots of great tips! I livd and die by my outlook calendar. We also have a wall calendar in our kitchen and a white board next to it with the days of the week. On Sunday, I update it with appt, activities, and meal plans. That helps keep it in the forefront of my mind. I get so many reminders for doctor appts so that helps keep track of the ridiculous number of appts we all have.
The weather is so annoying. We might get over a foot of snow this weekend. We canceled the play date with my nephew, Sunday school is canceled, and the bday party Paul was going to on Sunday was rescheduled. I am hoping that all of these cancellations means the storm will not be as bad as predicted. A few weeks ago, they forecasted 0-2” and we got 8”. I’m hoping the reverse happens and we get way less than expected.
That meme up top makes me think how we really do ask a lot of kids in high school, especially the getting up so early part before doing the rest of it.
I don’t have an integrated system for remembering things. There’s an electronic family calendar but I write a lot of things on the paper calendar because I look at it more often. Sometimes I do both.
I’m sorry about your arm. Sometimes those things take a long time to heal and it seems they never will.
Have you tried the Target brand knock off of Tostito’s bite size?
I have had problems remembering to show up at some things, and have dealt with it mostly like you have. Multiple reminders and alarms.
I am going to attribute it to the brain being overwhelmed — there are just too many things to remember. Add to it the general chaos in the world and our human brains just can’t handle it all. When I was younger, I did not pay attention to many of the things that I do now, so I was better able to remember to show up. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
I don’t know about the cost of tortilla chips, but I bought paper for my home printer recently and the price was astronomically high, over $16 for one ream (500 pp). I blame You Know Who.
Do you think maybe Leo is stretching? Looks like a yoga post to me.
I have to use my google calendar. It automatically reminds me of things without me setting a reminder, because thank goodness, I’d never remember!
For stuff that is TO DO, I just write it down on little slips of paper. Ask me how many little slips of paper I have lying around.
Have you ever had Old Florida Chips? Maybe they aren’t everywhere; we first had them in Georgia. They are hands down the best tortilla chips I’ve ever had, and I will pay whatever they demand for them. 😅
I should write a post about task capture. I just started using Google Tasks so I can just write down things as they come to me. It’s been super helpful for work as I can set up recurring task lists, and I’m trying to figure out how I want to use it in my personal life. I also have LOOOOTS of to-do lists, some that I print up and put on my fridge and some that I put in my planner.
Thank you for the comment about the cost of tortilla chips. I buy Tostitos brand and I’m constantly shocked at how expensive one bag is. WHY.
Well, let me know if you figure out how not to lose track of all of the to-dos. For work, I have it down. I use my Outlook calendar and the Microsoft To-do app (available on Mac, too, but with slightly less functionality). I put personal appointments on the Outlook calendar, but in shorthand so only I know what they mean (and I hide the details on my calendar from others; they can only see if I am available, not what my meetings/appts are for). For my actual life, I rely on notes in Upnote (newish note taking app), post-it notes, and my increasingly spotty memory. Sigh. So, I repeat: Please let me know if you figure it out. 🙂