Shortcuts

Sometimes I am a lazy bitch take shortcuts. Some of those shortcuts drive my husband nuts.

Front-loading washer and dryer with laundry and a red prohibition symbol over a basket of clothes
  • Refusing to use a laundry bin. I really have no idea why I am the way that I am. Is using a bin simpler, and more sanitary? Indeed it is. Do we have laundry bins, in our home, available for my use? Why, yes, yes we do. And still, I persist in loading my arms up with as much laundry as I possibly can hold and lugging the pile all the way across the house, dripping socks and tripping over the cat as I go.

  • Washing the sheets without their little holder. My husband, weary of our bed linens turning into a wet-in-the-middle sheet burrito each time we washed them, bought a handy little tool to keep the sheets and comforter from eating each other. They work GREAT. But I find it less convenient to attach them to the sheets than to simply deal with the sheet burrito. This may be the thing that tips my husband over the edge, hard to say.

  • Only doing half the towel replacement job. We have hand towels under our kitchen sink. Often, when I think to toss them in the laundry, I am doing fifteen other things and I forget, for a while, to replace them with new towels. The most frequent catalyst for remembering? My husband washes his hands and yelps, “There’s no towel!”

  • Letting damp dishes air dry. Our dishwasher has a drying function, but still, sometimes the clean dishes have a little moisture on them. Mug bottoms, of course. How else do you know that the dishes are done if there isn’t a little crescent of water in the bottom of your mug? (This is how! My husband isn’t the only one with handy little tools.) The other primary culprit is the plastic lids of our food storage containers, but sometimes a pot or a strainer or a plastic cup will have a little beading of water. My husband removes each of these from the dishwasher separately, dries them on the dish towel that I have of course completely remembered to replace, and only once they are completely dry does he put them away. Not me. I give a little shake then toss ‘em in whatever drawer or cupboard they belong. Literally nothing bad has ever happened from taking this little shortcut.

  • Not removing the lint after each load. Oh, good, we’re back in the laundry room. Why do I have so many laundry-related shortcuts? I DON’T IRON, EITHER. Okay, before you leap to the comments to warn me about dryer fires – my nightmare, seriously – I will assure you that I always, always clean the lint trap before I dry a load of laundry. I just do it before I dry things, rather than after. Sure, this sometimes mean my husband or child are cleaning out MY lint (although I do their laundry, too), but since I do the majority of the laundry in our household, I’m okay with that.
Kitchen countertop with water bottles, paper towel roll, storage basket, and small toiletry bag beneath white cabinets
These things will live here all weekend long. Yes, we still have the Zevo even though it did NOTHING.

Turnabout, as they say, is fair play. Members of my family are not immune to laziness cutting corners. Here are a few of the things they do that drive me nuts.

  • Leaving dishes “to soak.” Listen. LISTEN. I get it. Sometimes a dish benefits from a good soak in soapy water. (Although Dawn Powerwash cuts the soak time to five minutes, even for the most stuck-on grease and grime! I would accept any and all sponsorships, I love you, Dawn Powerwash!) But that dish should not be there the next day. Soaking returns diminish after about thirty minutes. Once in a great while, an overnight soak does seem to do the trick for a particularly obnoxious dish. But that is RARE and does not apply to, say, a bowl of oatmeal or a plate of melted marshmallow crust.

  • Walking around a thing as though it were invisible. Things assemble, detritus collects. That’s just a part of being a modern human, I suppose. But things should not live forever in a location that should be temporary. A sweatshirt’s home is not on a kitchen barstool. A pair of discarded socks does not make pleasing decor for the couch. The laundry room counter is not the perfect spot for an empty takeout cup to take up residence. I am not immune to letting something sit for a good long while. I’ve had a giant Hefty bag full of Clothes to Donate on the floor of my office for weeks now because I want to take it to the place where I volunteer, but I haven’t volunteered there in a while and I feel guilty and I haven’t been able to come up with a couple of hours to go volunteer and also the place is realllllly out of the way so it’s not simple to just drop it off, so I just yesterday tucked the bag behind my office door so I don’t have to see its accusatory mug anymore. But when the effort required to deal with a thing is, like, throwing it in the trash or moving it into one’s bedroom? JUST DEAL WITH THE THING.

  • Waiting to clean one’s beverage vessel. We all have our stainless steel coffee/tea mugs and our reusable water bottles and we use them. But when they need to be cleaned, they somehow end up congregating on my kitchen counters for days until the cleaning can be ignored no longer. Stanley carafes are not my idea of an appropriate knickknack.

Okay, your turn. Which of these shortcuts do you find most egregious? Also: I know you have shortcuts; time to spill.

Inheritance Costs

Inheritance Costs

Wow, I have written and rewritten the intro to this post five separate times and I cannot get the words to come out right! Partly, it’s because too many people reading this have lost someone dear, and I worry a topic that touches on losing loved ones might be triggering. If that sounds like you, please be gentle to yourself and feel free to check back in another day.

Partly, it’s because the topic of “inheritance” is so emotionally loaded. Right up front, you have a loss. So there are going to be all sorts of complicated feelings about an inheritance based on your relationship to the deceased. Maybe especially when that inheritance is not oodles of cash, but a baby grand piano, or a speedboat, or a timeshare in Argentina, or a collection of Meissen clowns, or a living, breathing lives-up-to-150-years tortoise.

(Perhaps the more logical minded among us have less of an issue with this than I do, but I am SO SENTIMENTAL. I cannot even THINK about inheriting anything without getting all teary and upset. I am pretty much banned from talking to my mother-in-law about things she wants to give away, because I will 100% take them, if only because they belonged to Great Aunt Hoosit. No thought to whether we need a six-feet-tall marble phonograph or a set of John Travolta-themed dishware. I get all wrapped up in the story behind the thing and can no longer see the thing itself.)

Once you get past the whole “someone I love has died” aspect of inheritance, you have the equally complicated issue of trying to fit someone else’s [heirloom] into your life. A life which may not have room for said [heirloom] for a wide range of reasons.

Finally, there’s the additional complexity of trying to navigate the inheritance of something precious to YOU when it may not be quite so precious to the person you share a life with. (I am not even going to get into the wildly complicated aspects of sharing an inheritance with a sibling, parent, step-sibling/parent, or other relative. That’s a different topic entirely.)

“What to do when your spouse inherits something you don’t care about” is what I most want to discuss today, although I 100% want to hear of any weird or unusual or particularly precious heirlooms in your own family lore.

Edited to add: Whoops! I forgot to mention that the below scenario is 100% FAKE. The watch is a stand-in for any heirloom. As you read, see if your calculus would change if [watch] were replaced by [sailboat], [lake house], [parrot], [pipe organ], or any other heirloom that would definitely incur costs. Would your response change if it were YOUR [heirloom] and not your spouse’s?

SCENARIO

Upon his death, a beloved grandfather bequeaths a very valuable antique watch to your spouse. The watch has both sentimental value (your spouse recalls seeing it on Grandfather’s wrist for the duration of his life; your spouse has fond memories of trying on the watch; your spouse can recite word for word the story of how Grandfather came to own this high-end timepiece) and financial value (the watch is nearly 60 years old and in perfect shape; it has an insurance value of $20,000).

When your spouse first takes possession of this watch, there are some initial costs. The watch requires insurance, which costs about $300 a year. To keep the watch safe from pets and children, your spouse purchases a watch box for about $100.

Your spouse wears the watch as often as possible. After all, the grandfather enjoyed the watch; so should your spouse.

Then you learn that the watch will require some routine maintenance. Maybe it needs a professional cleaning for around $50. Maybe it needs an annual water-resistance inspection for $50.

Okay, the annual costs are adding up a bit. But it’s not a ton of money. And surely there are costs that you incur that you don’t even think about.

Plus, the watch clearly brings your spouse joy. The grandfather’s memory proudly circles your spouse’s wrist. The feeling of closeness your spouse feels to the grandfather – well, that’s priceless.

Except… Now the watch needs a mainspring replacement for $150, which isn’t nothing, but… okay, fine. And then the winding mechanism fails and requires a $400 repair. And then one of the links becomes damaged, and now the watch repair people are quoting you $500 to repair the bracelet.

Suddenly, your spouse’s precious heirloom is costing some real money.

ASSUMPTIONS

Let’s assume, before you decide how you will respond, that:

  • you and your spouse share a primary bank account, but also have separate “personal expenses” accounts
  • you have ample money in your shared account to cover these costs with no problem, but the costs are more than your spouse’s “personal expenses” account could pay for without significant hardship (i.e., your spouse would not be able to buy you a birthday gift, or afford a NYT Games subscription, or whatever would constitute a “significant hardship” in this lack-of-actual-hardship situation)
  • you are not a “watch person” and do not care about watches beyond their ability to tell time
  • you love your spouse
  • you loved your spouse’s grandfather, even though you weren’t as close to him as your spouse was

YOUR RESPONSE

So what do you DO? I think we need another poll.

I’m pretty sure that most of the people in this little blogging community are Of The Age to have either dealt with this subject already, or who will likely be dealing with it in the not-too-distant future. Maybe it will cost us money or maybe it will cost us sleep. Maybe we will love the inheritance as much as our spouse does or maybe there will be a vast imbalance. Maybe – and this is my sincere, heartfelt, and impossible wish – we will all live forever with those we hold most dear.

I don’t know if we can necessarily predict our reaction to any sort of bequest until it happens. But I would love your thoughts anyway.

Seven-ish for Saturday

Oh hey, it’s the middle of May and this is only the second time I’m posting this month.

Summer Scheduling Success

Finally, finally, I think I have summer figured out. By my calculations, Carla has approximately 20 days of summer that are currently void of Established Plans, and they are mainly spread out – two days here, three days there – with only two full weeks that she has nothing. Those two weeks are spread out, too – one in June and one in July – so we’re not talking endless consecutive days of fighting boredom and negotiating screen time. Will this be enough? No idea. But I feel much better about our summer schedule than I had. All that’s left to do is a) fill out and submit all the eight bazillion forms each camp requires, b) buy all the things that each camp requires Carla to have, and c) figure out how to fill the remaining twenty days. (Swimming? Horseback riding lessons? Dog walking? Friend gatherings?) That’s something for Near Future Suzanne to deal with, I think.

Roof Repair Roundup

Apparently I am going for an alliterative subhead thing. A large portion of my days, lately, have been spent trying to navigate my roof replacement. Our insurance company was very prompt about sending out an insurance adjuster to review our property damage, and very quick to cut us a check. Our contractor has been very responsive in addressing questions and in reaching out to the insurance company for supplemental coverage. My brain is inundated with terms I sort of but don’t 100% understand, like soffits and ridge caps and fascia and flashings. I am grasping to understand exactly what the contractor is saying, and hoping that the insurance company gives us the money he requires to do the work he needs to do. (Like, apparently you need to disconnect the soffits or maybe the fascia or possibly both from the top plank of siding if you replace or repair the siding, but the insurance hasn’t offered any coverage for that, even though they have offered coverage for the siding itself. That kind of thing.)

I pored over an eleven (11) page review of my insurance policy and the replacement cost estimate, I pored over a thirty-eight (38) (THIRTY-EIGHT) page quote and contract from the contractor, which seemed mostly clear and reasonable, except for a couple of things that apparently don’t apply to us because of reasons. And there was a whole list of potential upgrades that we don’t need unless the insurance company decides against things like “covering the disconnecting and replacement of soffits and/or fascia” in which case we will then need to decide whether to spend an additional $XXXX of our own money. And then there is something called a “punchlist,” which I now know is a list, at the end of the project, of things are incomplete or need to be readdressed, like scratches made by a tool during construction, or a half-finished something-or-other. And we need to somehow figure out how to schedule the repairs/replacements so that they don’t coincide with or overlap our summer travel. And are we going to have a port-a-potty on our lawn/driveway for weeks on end? Let’s leave all this for Future Suzanne to deal with. Man, is she going to be pissy with me.

Another Absurd Trigger of (Truly) Trivial Obsession

My husband and I got a new scale. It’s a “smart” scale. It has an app. And it measures more than just weight. Supposedly it also monitors things like your muscle mass and body fat percentage. (Supposedly it monitors these things less accurately than one would hope; my husband suggests we use it to observe trends rather than to give us exact numbers.) I am interested in maintaining and increasing my muscle mass as I age. I am also interested in seeing if my kiddo can increase her muscle mass – a recommendation from her coach. I am quite excited about the pet feature. I mean, it’s just a way to weigh your pet without doing mental math. But as I am constantly fretting about whether I’m feeding Lenny enough or too much, I am pretty pumped.

The scale collects all this information about you, via some sort of magical (electrical) currents that travel through your feet, and beams the data to the app on your phone. I know so much about technology. Then you can read all sorts of interesting slash mystifying metrics about yourself.

The one that I keep thinking about is my metabolic age. I have never once thought about my metabolic age, nor do I really know what it is beyond a hazy semi-understanding. But now that we have the scale, I’m thinking about it. My metabolic age is 44. I am 45. This seems positive, right? The scale thinks I am younger than I am.

Here’s the thing. My husband’s metabolic age is 43. He is not only also 45, he is half a year older than I am. SO HOW COME HIS METABOLIC AGE IS LOWER THAN MINE?!

Obviously I am now obsessed with pressing questions like, can I reduce my metabolic age? If so, HOW? And by HOW MUCH?

Possibly I need to sideline my extreme spousal competitiveness and find out what metabolic age means and if it matters.

Colonoscopy Complete!

This week I undertook my first-ever colonoscopy. I was, as some of us are, a wee bit anxious about the whole thing. The only bad part was drinking the prep. The rest of it was fine. Well, the anxiety wasn’t great, but it was preferable to drinking the prep.

A ton of different bowel prep options exist, from a giant jug of GoLYTELY to 24 enormous SUTAB pills and everything in between, what a time to be alive, and each gastroenterologist has her preference, not to mention health insurance companies only cover certain options. (That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for a different prep if you, too, have a preference.) I now have an anti-preference. My GI prescribed SUPREP, which is the only prep my insurance covers. (I don’t know why all the bowel preps have names that scream at you.) It comes in two little six-ounce bottles. I needed to mix one bottle with ten ounces of cool water at 6:00 the evening before my procedure, and drink it before 7:00. While also drinking two additional 16-ounce glasses of water. Then I needed to repeat the prep and additional water intake again five hours before my procedure. The SUPREP was ABSOLUTELY FOUL. It was salty and forcefully bitter with a very faint citrus flavor. I tried mixing the first batch with a bit of lemon-lime Gatorade powder; this was a bad idea. I will never drink lemon-lime Gatorade again, that’s for sure. I tried plugging my nose while I drank it, but that didn’t really disguise the taste (although that particular trick has never worked for me). I tried drinking it through a straw, which is supposed to bypass the tastebuds on your tongue, but I found it to be even worse. I tried adding ice to the glass, but – as my husband cautioned – that just increased the amount of awfulness I had to get down. What worked was taking two giant gulps, while plugging my nose, then following those gulps up with as much ice-cold pure fresh tasteless water as I needed. Still, by the end of the second bottle of SUPREP, I was struggling not to gag.

Let’s back up a little, because I know you want More Detail about my colonoscopy prep. I was anxious about the procedure because I have a family history of colon cancer (grandmother and great-grandmother) and polyps (parents), but also because the procedure took place within my husband’s hospital system and among people he knows and works with. Consequently, I felt that I had to be The Best Patient, or, at least, A Model Patient. So I did a pre-prep two days before my procedure (seven capsful of Miralax in 32 ounces of red Gatorade). The Miralax, which is supposed to dissolve completely in liquid, made the Gatorade slightly viscous and gave it a very very mild but noticeable Miralax flavor. Is that flavor something I can characterize more descriptively? No, it is not. It was gross, but I would drink ten bottles of Miralax-flavored Gatorade before I would do SUPREP again. This was in addition to starting a low-fiber/low-residue diet (no nuts, seeds, of fresh fruits or veggies, limited high-fat foods) four days prior to my colonoscopy, and a day of clear liquids the day before the procedure.

“That sounds excessive,” my friend noted, when I told her my Miralax-flavored plans. Perhaps. But I will say that the nurses and techs were all chatting about their own colonoscopies, and every one of them did some sort of extra prep on top of what’s required. (The concern is that your colon won’t be clean enough for the GI to see what they need to see, and you’ll have to come back… after doing the prep AGAIN. Shudder. Obviously, this is not an issue for most people, and I am not advocating that YOU do additional prep, unless you, too, are partially insane. And even in that case, please consult a doctor, which I am not, before you do anything.)

On a personal note, I think the additional measures helped make my prep easier (and less disruptive; I slept just fine both nights) while also ensuring that my colon was pristine for my procedure. You might be thinking, no one gets a GRADE for colonoscopy prep, Suzanne, and you would be right. But also, my post-procedure summary includes the glorious phrase “the quality of the bowel preparation was excellent.”

Oh and also I had no polyps, thank everything, next colonoscopy in ten years, which of course is much more important than getting an A+ on my prep.

Imagining the Ideal Instruction Manual

When I made my colonoscopy appointment back in February, my doctor put in an order for the SUPREP, which I picked up from my pharmacy. I also received a packet of instructions from the gastroenterologist. A thick packet, with many pages of instructions. Listen, it was fine! Helpful, even. And yet, it could bear some improvement. Some of the instructions were in all caps. Some of them were highlighted. Some were in bullet points. Some of them were vague. Some of them directly contradicted the instructions on the Suprep box. There were lists of prohibited foods/drinks; there were some lists of foods/drinks that were allowable; none of the lists were in any way comprehensive.

As I’ve spent the past twenty-odd years writing and editing things, I’ve been thinking a lot more than is healthy about how I might improve upon this packet.

The major problem I see is attention span vs quantity of information. As any writing professional knows, people don’t read. The fewer words the better. The clearer the better. (Sometimes those two dictates are in opposition.) And yet the gastroenterologist needs to convey quite a lot of complex information, and there’s not a great way to get all of it across to the patient. (I also got two phone calls in advance of my colonoscopy, but they conveyed both less and different information than the packet did.)

As a patient, I think I would like the packet to contain these things:

1. How to prepare for the colonoscopy. Like I said, the packet from my doctor directly contradicted some of the instructions on the Suprep box. The box, for instance, said I could eat a light breakfast the day before the procedure; my doctor said NO DO NOT DO THAT. The box said orange and grapefruit juices were among the “clear” liquids I could drink; my doctor said NOPE. So I think I want to know right away, right up front, that I should ignore the box. (This was one of the highlighted, all caps sentences on the front of the packet I received, but there were several other highlighted, all caps sentences on the front, so I could have easily downplayed its importance or missed it entirely.) I think I might like to know that there are many prep options, and that I should focus on these instructions because they are specific to my prep, and not listen to my cousin who didn’t have to do a single day of low-fiber eating and who thought his prep wasn’t half bad. I think I might like some strategies for getting enough calories and protein (even bone broth only has around 45 calories and 10 grams of protein per cup), and not making oneself queasy with too much sugar. It might also be nice to have a little calendar that lays out Day 1 through Day of Procedure with brief bullets about what to do each day (“Day 1: low-residue diet; see pgs 2-3”).

2. What to expect from the colonoscopy. Before the procedure, first the nurse and then the anesthesiologist both talked to me about what would happen, but I always like to know that stuff well in advance. Like, you will need an IV. You will have to change into a gown and those little grippy socks. You will need to arrive an hour before the procedure, the procedure itself should take around thirty minutes, and you will require about thirty minutes in recovery afterward. It might be nice to know a teeny bit about the procedure itself (“the doctor will introduce a flexible tube into your large intestine; she may use water to flush your colon as examines the lining; she will attempt to remove any polyps she finds; you will be sedated the whole time”). I’d like to know that the GI will come in and give you your results right then; that might affect who I would bring with me as a driver. I’d like to know that I might feel tired for X hours after the procedure, or that the anesthesia might make my stomach a little more sensitive to greasy foods than normal.

3. A more-or-less complete list of prohibited / allowed foods and drinks. The packet I received had some lists, but they were slightly confusing. Like, on the low-fiber/low-residue diet, you shouldn’t eat fruits and veggies, but you could eat canned or frozen fruits and veggies? What? As far as I can tell, the real issue is FIBER, so, like, an apple without the skin is okay, mango is okay, but strawberries are not okay. (I did not ask about bananas.) Tomatoes are prohibited but tomato paste is okay. Cooked onions are okay, shredded fresh basil is not. On the “clear liquids only” day, green and yellow and orange Gatorade/Kool-Aid/Jell-O/popsicles are fine; red or purple or blue are not. Black coffee or tea are also fine. No milk or non-dairy creamers, though. (But what about coconut milk? Or almond milk? No idea.) Sugar and sweetener are fine in your coffee or tea, even though they aren’t liquids. (I put honey in my tea without even asking, am such a rebel.)

My husband and I discussed that the existing lists kind of leave patients to make their own judgment calls, which I’m sure can have varying results. The internet says that sucking on hard candies during your clear-liquids day is totally acceptable, and I feel like it probably is; it’s just sugar! But I might also think it’s okay to chew gum in the waiting room before my colonoscopy, since that’s neither food nor liquid… but it ISN’T okay. Other patients may read the lists and think those are the ONLY restrictions/allowances. A friend, before her colonoscopy a few months ago, was worried about drinking her own homemade chicken stock, because she uses celery and garlic and onion to make the stock, and celery and garlic and onion were not on the list of allowable foods.  

4. Other Important Things to keep in mind. This might include which medications you can and cannot take the day of your procedure, and that you literally cannot take even a sip of water in the three hours before your colonoscopy or they will delay your procedure, and that you can wear a bra under your surgical gown as long as it doesn’t have an underwire, and you should avoid applying lotion the day of your procedure, and that yes you really do need a driver who will wait there with you and drive you home, and that you CANNOT CHEW GUM the day of your procedure.

It might also be nice to know what to do if, say, you vomit up half of your prep. Does that mean you have to start again? Or what to do if you have a medication you take at a specific time that needs to be taken with food. I am sure there is a whole host of FAQs that gastroenterologists field on the regular that would be useful to include.

I know a packet of information that a decent percentage of patients aren’t even going to glance at cannot possibly address every eventuality. And, of course, people successfully undergo colonoscopies every day, even without all these details. But I know there are others who are as anxious and rule-abiding as I am who would really appreciate a thorough and well-organized document.

Car-Trip Compromise

My husband and I are in ongoing negotiations about our summer road trip. We have agreed on one thing and one thing only, which is the location of our First Major Stop. From there, we will make a circle to return to our starting place. But which way will the circle go? We could drive West, to a big city my husband has never visited before. We could drive East, through the mountains, and, importantly, through my best friend’s city. This is really a choice between urban and rural, city experiences vs unspoiled landscapes. It feels like a choice between him and me, our very essences, and – while both of us are being very careful and tactful when laying out our pros and cons for each option – neither of us seems willing to budge an inch. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? I am guessing that we will end up going the urban route. My husband is much more excited about that option, and our first stop – during which I hope to see another of MY friends – was my idea in the first place. I suppose I shouldn’t get to determine everything about our trip, even if I want to.

Pussy Cat Palate Cleanser

After my whole losing-the-pole-toy-behind-the-bookcase disaster, I have been storing Lenny’s new pole toys on the second shelf of my bookcases. He knows this. And he has spent a lot of time this week trying to get to them.

He has also spent some time trying out poses for the cover of Classical Cat magazine.