Dinners This Week

This week, we still have visitors, we have a holiday, we have a birthday, and then more visitors! Plus, life still feels extremely high on the frazz-ometer. I have no idea what to plan or make! And yet I need to plan and make something. Many somethings. 

Takeout is not really an option lately. My daughter’s and husband’s basically conflicting schedules mean that a) no one would get to eat the takeout while it is hot (which is a Big Deal to me even though I realize it doesn’t bother most people) and b) no one is available to pick up takeout anyway. I suppose I could conscript my in-laws into bringing takeout, but then there’s a Whole Thing with them wanting to pay for it and… well, I guess I can just let them pay for it. 

Also, I do not want my mother-in-law to cook. I just don’t. (She would! She’s lovely! She wants to help! This is a Me Thing, and yes it makes life more difficult and yes I understand that and yet I still don’t want her to cook. I tried it the last time they were here and it just reinforced the fact that this is a thing I cannot handle for a variety of reasons. You will just have to accept this as a quirk I have, one that is incurable.)

Dinners for the Week of October 3-9

  • Slow Cooker French Wine and Mustard Chicken: I am assuming (hoping) that the mustard in this chicken melds nicely into the background and isn’t all “Here I am!” jazz hands in your face. Because my husband dislikes mustard almost as much as I dislike tomatoes. Aside from the mustard, this ticks so many boxes that I need to tick right now: Slow cooker. Not too difficult. Includes spinach. (I bought a huge box of spinach for a recipe last week that I did not make and now I have a whole lot of spinach to use up.) (Yes, I realize the recipe calls for kale, but I don’t have kale, I have spinach.) I am opposed to sage, though. So with that and the mustard, maybe this recipe isn’t right for my family, I don’t know. I am grasping at slow cooker straws here.

Follow Up: This was fine, but not a hit. I did not pre-sear the chicken, and honestly it probably could have benefited from a little extra flavor. The mustard did not overpower, which was nice… and the spinach worked really well instead of the kale. But this was just a little… I don’t know. Flabby is the word I am coming up with, although I mean that in a taste sense not a textural one. The sauce was too thin, for one thing. And it had a flavor, but it was a little mild but also a little bitter. I don’t know. My in-laws were very kind about it, but my husband did not care for it and I was fully on the meh side of things.

  • Sheet Pan Lemon-Herb Fish with Crispy Potatoes: I really, really would like to eat this… but I don’t know if it will happen. We’ll see. And… it doesn’t really have anything green. Do I need to make a salad to go with it? Maybe some quinoa/brown rice/farro with peas and onions?
  • Beef Stroganoff with Side Salad and Ice Cream Cake: This is my husband’s birthday dinner request. We’ll have it over egg noodles. Maybe I should do roasted green beans or steamed broccoli instead. We’ll see. 

Follow Up: This was very good. HOWEVER, I messed around with the recipe a bit, so who knows if I can ever re-create it. Here’s what I did. I noticed AFTER I had measured out the requisite quarter cup of dijon that a) that was a HELLA lot of mustard and b) pretty much every other stroganoff recipe EVER calls for something in the realm of a single teaspoon of dijon. Not, you know FOUR TABLESPOONS. So I ended up putting in around 1-2 tablespoons of dijon and then fretting about it the entire rest of the time it cooked. Since I knew (belatedly) that I was going to cut the mustard (lol – I crack myself up) (although I don’t actually know what that is supposed to mean — if something doesn’t cut the mustard, it means it’s subpar, right?) I figured I would need to make up the flavor elsewhere. Other recipes called for white wine, so I deglazed the pan with the onion/garlic mixture with 1/2 cup of dry white wine. Then I also added in a generous tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce. Then, because the resulting sauce STILL tasted mustardy, and I was panicking a bit, I added in an extra cup of beef stock. Then, because I was STILL panicking, I threw in a big glug of soy sauce. The end result did not taste mustardy at all, but I don’t know if it’s because of my ministrations or because it would have cooked off anyway. I also did not want to wait to do the garlic mushroom mixture the recipe called for, so I simply sautéed some mushrooms and some garlic for a while and then tossed them in with the rest of the beef and liquid for the entire eight hours it cooked. Then at the end, I used an entire 16 oz container of sour cream — and my husband added probably another quarter cup of flour to the sour cream, because the sauce was very loose — and mixed that in at the end. The end result was truly delicious.

  • Sheet Pan Chicken Fajitas: I am hoping my niece will eat this. Even though I don’t know if my own daughter will eat this. Sigh. 

And then we’ll fill in with takeout, I guess. 

What are you eating this week?

Gift-Giving Anxiety

Sometimes I think one of my love languages is Buying Gifts. That’s probably not the right term but I don’t feel like walking down the hall to get the book and read it. Also, I think “love language” refers to how you prefer to be treated, not how you treat others – and I don’t particularly like receiving gifts, so maybe love language is not the right term at all.

Let’s start over:

I LIKE TO BUY GIFTS FOR PEOPLE.

However, I also possess a distinctly challenging personality trait that makes it difficult to actually BUY GIFTS FOR PEOPLE. What I’m saying is that I have severe gift-giving anxiety (undiagnosed). So what happens is I get all excited about buying someone a present… and then I get all weird and hand-wringy about it.

Here’s my normal thought process:

1. This is the perfect occasion to buy a gift for Person In My Life!

2a. Yay! I have a great idea for what to get PIML, too!

2b. Crud. I have NO IDEA what to buy.

3a. Is it too expensive? Maybe I shouldn’t get it.

3b. Nothing seems right. Maybe I shouldn’t get anything.

4. No! Don’t be like that! Allow yourself to give in to your positive intention!

5a. You’re totally right! The gift is in my shopping cart!

5b. You’re totally right! Spend way too much time finding the perfect gift and then finally adding it to my shopping cart!

6. Wait a second. What if PIML doesn’t like the gift?

7. What if PIML feels uncomfortable that I got a gift at all? Maybe it’s for a weird occasion or the PIML doesn’t think we’re that close or the gift itself is weird?

8. What if PIML thinks the gift is too expensive?

9. What if PIML thinks the gift is too cheap?

10. What if PIML feels beholden to me after receiving a gift? Or now feels obligated to buy ME a gift?

11. What if this changes my relationship with PIML?

12. Okay, there’s no real need to buy the gift right this second. Just take a step back and think about it.

13. ** time passes **

14. Crap. Now it is way too late to send a gift.

I would like to say, in a non-blaming way, that my husband plays a role in this process as well. He is usually of the opinion, “You don’t NEED to get a gift for that person!” Which is true! Always! No one needs a gift! But then I start doubting whether I should get a gift for that person, if it’s weird or overstepping or whatever (see Steps 6-11) above. When the gift is from both of us, that also adds a wrinkle to the gift-giving process, because then I feel like I should consult with my husband about what the gift should be, how much it should cost, etc. And that takes time, and some back and forth, and so Step 13 stretches out and out and out until we crash right into Step 14.

As long as I’m confessing things, I might as well let you know that sometimes I actually DO purchase the gift. And THEN I go through Steps 6-11. And the gift just sits there, forever and ever. The same can be said for cards. I buy them, then never send them. WHYYYYYYY.

This is a trait that I really dislike about myself. It is a variation on one of my other Most Reviled Personal Traits, which is procrastination. It has prevented me, in the past, from sending wedding gifts and baby gifts and sympathy cards that I really SHOULD HAVE. Missed opportunities that probably made a negative impression on or caused hurt feelings for the would-be recipient. Which causes me anxiety as well, plus embarrassment and guilt. I have dabbled with the idea of being A Person Who Doesn’t Send Gifts, which is a fine, perfectly reasonable person to be. But that hasn’t really STUCK.

So! Brisk clap! I am trying to combat my gift-giving anxiety. And this summer, I have had some success, I think!

  • Wedding gift for my cousin and her new wife
  • High school graduation present for my cousin
  • College graduation present for my other cousin
  • Birthday present for my daughter’s best friend

Birthday gift 1

I think it was this one. May have been something similar but not exact, though. (image from amazon.com)

  • Birthday present for another of my daughter’s friends

Birthday gift 2

Again, I can’t remember if it was exactly this one or not. (image from amazon.com)

  • Cute his and hers barware for a friend’s engagement

Engagement Gift

I do wish they were the same size/type of glass because it kind of seems like it’s insinuating that the woman should drink LESS than the man, although I admit I don’t know whether they hold the same amount of liquid that’s what it SEEMS to be saying, judgmental much glasses? but WHATEVER. They were cute. My friend and her fiancé drink beer. The end. (image from katespade.com)

  • Baby present plus older brother present for a friend’s new baby girl

(clothing image from nordstrom.com; book and Melissa & Doug puzzle set images from amazon.com)

  • Baby present plus older sister present for another friend’s new baby boy

FOX IN SUNGLASSES SWEATER. (clothing images from nordstrom.com; book and princess castle tent images from amazon.com)

  • Interesting bookmark for a friend

Bookmark

The one I got is NOT this one, but very similar. (image from mitercraft.com)

  • Housewarming gift for a friend

Housewarming Gift

Not exactly this, but CANDLES from WickHabit. (image from etsy.com)

  • Thank-you gifts for my daughter’s daycare teachers (cute personalized tumbler plus a $5 Starbucks gift card)

Teacher Gift

These are from the LuckyLilyDesigns Etsy shop and they EXACTLY as cute in person. I love them. (image from etsy.com)

  • And I am planning to (once I talk to my husband about it and help him move beyond his [possible] [likely] inclination to NOT do it) get cookies or chocolates or doughnuts or something for the entire daycare staff on my daughter’s last day, but I haven’t gotten beyond the Step 2b fretting-about-the-gift-possibilities stage on that yet.

So. I think I am making some progress, considering that I am TERRIBLE AT GIVING GIFTS.

Oh, yes. Looking specifically at the teacher thank-yous and the baby gifts up there, I realize ANOTHER aspect of my gift-giving issues: Sometimes, I start to go overboard. I get Christmas Stocking Syndrome, and start panicking about “what if it’s not enough?” and “maybe I should just throw this last little thing in here” and “oh look at this cute little extra that would be so fun!” That is how the Starbucks gift cards got added to the teacher presents (what if they hate the tumblers? what if this is a case of “you should have just given a gift card”?) and how the little board books got added to the baby presents (oh but they are under $6! And this is Carla’s FAVORITE story when she was a baby!). (And also how I added a bottle of nail polish and a tub of EOS lip balm – which is the same duo I got from a dear friend after I had Carla – to my Amazon order so I could add a little mother-self-care giftlet to each baby gift.) Giving in to Christmas Stocking Syndrome feels good at the time, but then afterward makes me worry – yet again – that I’ve been too flamboyant or overly aggressive with my gifting.

But! I am going to ignore my CSS Panic about the baby and teacher gifts and MOVE FORWARD!

In the interest of full disclosure, the engagement gift, baby gifts, and bookmark have all been purchased but not actually wrapped or sent to the recipients yet. The housewarming gift (which will be candles, from Wick Habit) has not yet been purchased. And two of the three teacher gifts are wrapped but won’t be handed out until my daughter’s last day at daycare.

PHEW. Now that I see that list, I feel both happy and relieved and also a little bit ACK! because that is a lot of money. BUT. I think each of those gifts was appropriate and I don’t think any of them was too expensive if taken singularly. And anyway, one should not think too much of TOTAL COST lest it dampen the generous impulse!

I am going to go wrap the engagement gift and then put the bookmark in the mail RIGHT NOW!