Christmas Stocking Syndrome

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Turns Out I Have a Few More Random Topics in My System

One of my worst habits is picking up my phone when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning. Last night, I opened up my email to see a 30% off offer from Athleta, which is irresistible because I love their athleisure. (I still don’t know if it’s pronounced Ath-leh-tuh, like “lettuce” or Ath-LEE-tuh, like “athlete.” I want very badly for it to be the latter, but I don’t know.) I already have so many pairs of high-rise leggings, but they are so comfy… and maybe one more pair would ease the emptiness in my soul, especially in the dark green, and especially if I also get this matching sweatshirt.

Okay, I’m just kidding. My soul is full of (mainly) love and light. But I do sometimes get into that mindset of This One Specific Thing Will Fix Me.

Speaking of which, I cannot stop thinking about this sweatshirt.

image from evereve.com

I saw it in person when I was doing a little light shopping with a friend while our kids were at an event. A person in my circle happened to be in the same store and was chatting with us while I perused the clothing. When I held up this sweatshirt and said, mostly joking, “I think I need an après ski sweatshirt,” she said, “No, no one needs that.” in what I can only call a Tone of Intense Derision. DO I need this sweatshirt? No, I most certainly do not. And yet my reaction to her comment was one of visceral opposition and defiance. I managed to tamp it down in the moment – again, I do not need this sweatshirt – but I still want the sweatshirt, and more so after I was scolded about it. It’s probably not financially wise to buy things out of spite, though.

You know what is the opposite of spiteful? Holiday cards. How about that masterful segue, huh??? I have said it many times but holiday cards are my favorite thing about the season. I would forego all gifts in a hot second, but I would never want to give up exchanging holiday cards.

It is quite difficult to get a photo of my cards while still keeping everyone’s faces anonymous. So you get to look at this adorable Christmas dogs card while kind of getting a *feel* for the cards on my wall.

This year, there seem to be far fewer cards on my wall than in years past, when they have wrapped around the entire perimeter of the kitchen. This is slightly concerning. Obviously my main worry is that I have been blacklisted from people’s holiday card lists, for reasons unbeknownst to me. When the more likely scenario is that a) cards are expensive and b) stamps are HELLA expensive and c) Thanksgiving was late this year, so I think some people are late in sending out their cards. I only just got my last few cards into the mail yesterday, so I clearly don’t have a leg to stand on. More cards will arrive, and I will leave them up until my husband gets annoyed enough by their presence to badger me into taking them down.

His big concern with my tendency to stick cards on the walls is that the sticky tack I use won’t come off. I have always pooh poohed that fear because it always comes off. But… last year I may have left the cards up a wee bit too long… and some of the sticky tack may have pulled off a wee bit of paint. Whoopsie. This year I am using a different brand, one that is also nearer the grey of our paint.

If you were concerned that my husband’s stocking was going to be woefully empty compared to everyone else’s, allow me to lay your fears to rest. Last night, we went to Barnes & Noble on our date night, as we do, and he spent a long time examining this book. He doesn’t usually read books in print, because of limited time, but he was seriously considering this one. It has an intriguing premise, and it’s smallish (just over 200 pages) and it has a visual element that is unusual and appealing. He looked it up on Goodreads and told me that the author’s previous book was more highly rated, but, alas, not available in the store. So during my middle-of-the-night non-sleeping, I ordered the previous book for him, along with a book of dad jokes (he’d also spent quite a lot of time lingering over a dad jokes calendar, and he loves telling dad jokes, and this book can be delivered before Christmas so it was an easy add-on). Now I am REALLY DONE BUYING THINGS.

image from amazon.com
image from amazon.com

While a lot of people, I expect, will spend this weekend baking wonderful treats and going to holiday parties, I am planning to spend my weekend TIDYING. The Christmas decor, which I love, is already beginning to close in on me. There’s the tree, which takes up space, and the necessity of moving one of the armchairs into the piano room, which makes that room crowded (there’s STILL an old couch in there as well) (also we got a concrete coffee table for the sunroom and that’s in the piano room too). Plus there is detritus on every surface – like a tin of peppermints from someone at my husband’s office, and the replacement Hanukkah pajamas I mentioned in my last post, still in their bag, and a plate of Christmas cookies, and some gift receipts, and a winter-themed tie someone gave my husband, and the two holiday letters I received from friends that I have read but am not ready to discard yet – in addition to the normal random assortment of glasses and water bottles and cat fur and tweenager flotsam and mail. Of course, there are also BOXES EVERYWHERE (the instant I break down a box and put it into the recycling bin, another box appears) because the cat loves boxes, and he also loves the brown packing paper that comes in the boxes (his version of “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things” would just be “brown paper packages, brown paper packages, brown paper packages” on repeat), and he loves to leap on the packing paper and tear it with his teeth and leave little crumbs of paper everywhere.

The Instagram algorithm, intuiting my Christmas claustrophobia, served me a video of an advice vlogger answering someone’s question about Christmas with her mother-in-law. The gist was that the writer-inner’s mother-in-law had decreed that Christmas was over at noon on Christmas Day, and so promptly at noon she started putting away all the Christmas décor, and insisted the writer-inner help. It took them five hours to put away all the ornaments and lights and the tree, and the writer-inner was upset that THAT was how she’d spent her first Christmas with her new husband and his family. She was anticipating the same thing this year, and wanted help from the advice giver.

Oh, how deeply do I empathize with the mother-in-law! I, too, reach a point at which I am simply Done with Christmas, and when I get there, I want it all to be whisked away immediately. This is one of the reasons that I refuse to decorate for Christmas before December 1. I want to enjoy the decorations, not feel stifled by them. I do typically leave them up until at least New Year’s Day, though. Even if I’m gritting my teeth by the end.

By the way, the advice given was a) see if you can change the holiday arrangement so that you spend Christmas Eve with the in-laws and Christmas Day with your family, rather than swapping every-other-Christmas Day with each family and, if that’s a no-go, b) simply agree that Christmas ends at noon on Christmas Day, and depart the in-laws’ house at that time. I don’t know about how this would go over with your family, but I just cannot imagine doing either of these things with my family of origin or my in-laws. Our families don’t even swap Christmases that often! But if we did, the swap would need to be Exactly Even. And I also cannot imagine simply opting out of what sounds like a family tradition of putting Christmas away, even if it SUCKED. But then again, I am not always the greatest at setting boundaries so maybe the advice giver has it right.

Anyway, I am going to spend this weekend tidying as much as I possibly can (GOODBYE, latest crop of boxes!), and doing laundry, and giving myself a clean-if-cluttered slate from which to begin two weeks of family togetherness.

I am also going to try out a new hair crème, which I discovered after Instagram presumed (rightly!) that I would be interested in something called “glass hair.” None of my efforts at improving my skin with expensive products have worked, but surely I can have the hair of my dreams if I just buy This One Specific Hair Crème. (I had a gift card.)

image from amazon.com
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Friday Randomosity: December Backslide and Some Festive Stuff As Well

December, for all its holiday magic, has been less ideal in other ways. I feel like I’ve lost any and all (admittedly questionable) momentum I’ve built at any point in the year. Maybe it’s been channeled into stamping, licking, and addressing a million holiday cards, I don’t know.

On the holiday end of things, I am, of course, doing my Last Minute Panic about gifts. My husband and I bought my kid’s one and only Hanukkah gift on the afternoon of the first night of Hanukkah, and then wrapped it quickly while she was getting the candles set up in the menorah. (And then it was the wrong size, so I added “exchange pajamas” to my holiday to-do list the other day and the same jammies were not available in store or online in Carla’s size, so I ended up getting her some Snoopy Valentine’s Day ones.) (They are SO SOFT but they don’t match the socks we got her, which are no longer available online.) (Oooh, I didn’t see that they have Hanukkah socks!)

The stocking stuffers seemed unbalanced, so I got my dad these engraving pens to go with his spicy peanuts, but I also added a tube of hand cream because I noticed his hands were so dry the last time I saw him, which meant that he had five items for his stocking and everyone else had only three… and then I got my mom these watercolor pens to even it out a little, and then I threw in a pizza server because I have a problem. And then I found myself in an Urban Outfitters and ended up buying these socks for my mom. Of course, NOW I feel like my husband’s stocking is going to be the emptiest but I am out of ideas, and, I think, out of time. And also THIS IS SO DUMB WHY DO I DO THIS EVERY YEAR.

(My husband, who is usually The Voice of Reason, did text me yesterday about another gift for the cat, so at least I’m not the only one who goes a little insane this time of year.)

I am getting distracted. Oh yes, I was about to list my failings as a human this month, above and beyond the regular.

Let’s see. I don’t think I’ve walked outside more than handful of times since Elisabeth stopped holding my hand.

After NaBloPoMo ended, and San and crew stopped holding my hand for that, I have pretty much abandoned my book blog once again. And listen, I know it probably makes zero sense to you why I even have a separate whole blog just for discussing books, but it makes sense to me and I am currently choosing to be stubborn about it. Which means, apparently, neglect.

While moving an armchair to make space for the Christmas tree on December 1, I borked my back and haven’t worked out since. For a few days, I walked slowly on the treadmill to at least get some sort of movement into my days, and then that practice became covered in piles of snow and shipping boxes like everything else.

Yes, I have completed (COMPLETED, hear that, Suzanne????) my gift buying, but I only just got the last couple of gifts for out-of-towners in the mail yesterday. Hopefully they will arrive on time. I STILL have yet to get some of the holiday cards in the mail, AND I under-ordered so some people are getting cards from Trader Joe’s and Aldi – which are, to be fair, very cute. If you send holiday cards, and some of those cards go to other bloggers, do you send out different cards to each set of people? I kind of like the idea of having a special set of cards just for blog friends, but I barely got one holiday card ordered in time this year so perhaps that’s an idea for Future Me.

I do have tiers of recipients, though. No, “tiers” is not the right word; that implies a hierarchy, and this is not a matter of A List, B List, etc. My card recipients diverge along different information branches, maybe??? Like, this year I printed out a mini-Christmas letter that I stuck in the envelopes of people who I thought would actually care about the minutiae of my family’s year. Mainly that consists of my aunts and uncles and a few of the residents of our old neighborhood. I did not think that the handful of my husband’s high school friends with whom we exchange cards would miss such a letter, nor would any of the families of Carla’s classmates or my old coworkers. People in my inner circle already KNOW all the stuff in the letter, so it felt redundant to include it and I didn’t, but I feel sort of bad about that. Am I overthinking this? I am overthinking this.

Sleep continues to be a huge pain in the ass. I am managing to use my CPAP approximately four hours a night, but I have been more aware of it lately and more likely to rip it off my face in the middle of the night. Also, through ALL of November, I woke up at 4:30 every morning. Did I exercise in that “extra” time as I had planned? No, I did not; I wrote blog posts. BUT, I was pretty excited to have adjusted my wake-up time so easily. In December, I slid inexplicably back to waking up at 5:30. And then there have been a few mornings where I’ve slept until close to seven! It feels decadent but a) I’m not getting GOOD sleep during those extra hours and b) I don’t have enough time in the day as it is and c) I STILL manage to be a floppy tired mess by nine pm, regardless of when I wake up.

The cat continues to be Extremely Fluffy. When we brought him home, the cat breeder noted that he will have two “shed” events each year – once in the spring and once in the fall – but I am beginning to believe his whole life is a shed event. He does that adorable / alarming cat thing where he’ll be sitting or resting contentedly and then will suddenly leap into action, and each time he leaves a puff of fur in his wake, Looney-Tunes-style. I brush the beast daily – sometimes multiple times daily – and yet I am constantly picking up little tumbleweeds of fluff that decorate our dark floors like some ephemeral species of flora.

“Meowp, meowp!”

Seriously. There is fur everywhere at all times. I will vacuum the floors and then a little puff of fluff will drift down gently from the sky where apparently even the air is participating in a shed event. Even though I looked at them with great interest, I did not buy myself the laundry pet hair removers or the little purse lint remover. And yet as the days pass, I grow more and more aware of how completely covered in cat hair I am. Maybe there’s still time?

My beloved housecleaner is pregnant, and admitted the other day that she’s been suffering from morning sickness. While she has been my housecleaner for nearly a decade now, and therefore probably knows me better than anyone on the planet, we have a fairly distant relationship. Not cold or anything, but professional, which feels right and fine. But now that she’s pregnant, I feel SO BAD FOR HER. As someone who suffered from intense morning sickness for most of my pregnancy, I cannot imagine, say, CLEANING TOILETS. And yet, I don’t want to infantilize her or pathologize her totally normal condition by saying “no need to clean toilets for the next seven months.” The best I could come up with was say, please let me know if you need any accommodations, and please do only what you can do. I really hope she will speak up if she feels like something is too much for her. (Obviously, I recognize that she might be totally fine and happy to work as she normally does and I don’t want to over-emphasize something in a way that feels demeaning or sexist!)

Do you remember the palm plants I bought earlier this year for our sunroom?

They were glorious when we first got them!

I brought them inside earlier this month, once the cold started to hit, and THEY TRIED TO PERISH. Like, one day they were flourishing and the next day they were all brown and crispy. It was Quite Alarming, especially because they were Quite Expensive. I did some googling, and I took three immediate actions: 1.) I moved them into a slightly sunnier place. 2.) I hacked off all the dead portions, which left a bunch of stalks and a couple of sickly green shoots. 3.) I heaved them into my sink and let them soak in water for 15 minutes, to re-hydrate the root ball. Then I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. Okay, I also bought some fertilizer specific to palms and ferns and fed the plants accordingly. And then I got a teeny little humidifier and have been humidifying the plants for a few hours each day. They look… well, they still look terrible, but they look much better than they did when they first alerted me to their imminent demise.

Green and perky, with some new growth.
I think the tallest stalk, which seemed to be hanging in there, needs to go. It no longer seems to be among the living.

Speaking of plants: my husband occasionally buys me flowers for our anniversary. This year, not wanting to assume either way, I gently reminded him that most flowers are toxic to cats, and our cat has not got that memo and likes to chew on any and all plants in his realm. On our anniversary, my husband came home with this – and then put it together for me. The “putting it together” was a little gift for him, and the permanent non-toxic flowers were a little gift for me.

Leo is Not Allowed On The Table, and yet no matter where I stood or how often I deposited him onto the floor, he was CERTAIN that I was trying to photograph him. (The plants in the tiny pots are teacher gifts and only temporary, lest you are worried for Leo’s safety.)

How is everyone feeling in your household? We keep getting ominous emails from Carla’s school, listing the number of students who have reported influenza diagnoses. First email about one kid on Tuesday. Second email about two more kids on Wednesday. Third email (also on Wednesday) about four other kids. No emails yesterday, but then this morning Carla cheerfully told me that lots of her friends were out with “the barfing sickness.” Well. She only has a class event, a schoolwide talent show, a birthday party, and a sleepover one more day of school to survive and then she’s on break, so I’m sure we’re in the clear!

Okay, that may be the limit of my Non-Holiday content at the moment. I am really just steeped in Holiday Mode, you know? One thing I have not done – or even really thought about – is bake any sort of cookies. Maybe now that I’ve got gifts figured out (YOU ARE DONE SHOPPING, SUZANNE) (except maybe for something else small for my husband’s stocking?????) I can turn my attention to baking. I’m not really in the mood to do a cookie plate this year, but I do have a hankering for some big, soft molasses cookies. I would be making them right now, in fact, except I am out of both ginger and cinnamon.          

Maybe baking cookies will be an item on my Winter Break To-Do List? My kid is going to be off school for fifteen days, and my husband is taking nearly two full weeks off, and I am giddy with the idea of so much time together. However, I know that two weeks could easily go the way of each of us zoning out in front of our separate screens, which would feel wasteful and depressing to me. To head off this potential issue, I am trying to encourage my family to come up with a real list of things that we want to do during the break, fun things and work things, together things and separate things. So far, we have “try special sundae at local ice creamery” and “make ice cream” on the list. (My in-laws got us a Ninja Creami for our anniversary, and we want to break it in.) We should probably have some non-ice-cream to-dos as well, and I would like to exercise and write every day, have at least one family game night, clean my kid’s craft room, and put up a gallery wall. (Yes, I am still trying to get my gallery wall after all these years.) It would be nice to do something outside and to do something with my parents and possibly something with friends or neighbors, but it may be overly ambitious to include other people in our winter break plans. I also have this vague idea that I want to organize some of the drawers and cupboards that have gotten a little out of control, but… that’s not urgent.

I got a delightful surprise in the mail yesterday. It’s an ornament from my childhood best friend, featuring quotes from one of our shared favorite movies. We used to drive around listening to the Clueless soundtrack together and we have watched the movie, together and separately, about a million times. It was SUCH a fun treat to open and then hang on the tree.

Okay, I’ve said all the things. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and that any and all ongoing holiday prep goes smoothly.

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Stocking Stuffers 2025

We are at the point of the holiday shopping season where websites are starting to post little warnings about what will arrive in time for Christmas. We are still FIFTEEN DAYS OUT from Christmas, people. And yet it seems we need to order things NOW or they may not get here. It’s… stressing me out. Yes, even though I already have 95% of the gifts I plan to buy.

My Stocking Stuffer Syndrome (that panicky feeling that I have not quite fulfilled the Christmas Is Magical requirements, and the only way to do so is to buy more things) is in full swing. HOWEVER. Instead of buying more things, I am admiring all the things I COULD buy, maybe putting some things in digital carts, maybe earmarking some things for next year. Maybe thinking, “Oh, I really do want to buy that for so-and-so!” If you are similarly reaching for One Last Thing to give, maybe you’ll find something here.

A note on my choices: I know some people think of stockings as the place for Small Gifts, even if that means spendy things like ear buds or jewelry. But I usually like to spend about $5-$10 on stocking stuffers. Of course, inflation, so I’ve tried to keep things to a cap of about $25. There are exceptions, of course, but I don’t want to blow my entire gift budget on stocking stuffers so I do try to keep it in check.

All images below from the accompanying sites linked to in the descriptions.
Some of the gift ideas below use affiliate links, which means I get a few cents if you click on a link and buy that product.

All Sorts of Stocking Stuffer Options

My favorite mascara (20% off today!): I am a new convert to this mascara, even though it is a lot more than what I like to spend on mascara. It makes my lashes look great AND it comes off very easily.

Jojoba carrier oil: This is kind of a niche thing, but my husband has gotten really into fragrances and I wanted to get him a fragrance-related stocking stuffer, so I got him a set of essential oil / perfume rollers and some carrier oil so he can make his own perfume rollers to travel with or give to friends.

Warheads: Carla is very into everything sour, as was I when I was her age, and these will please her very much.

Hair tinsel: A couple of friends’ kids have hair tinsel, and it’s adorable and fun and I think my kid would like it a lot.

Morf fidget worm: Carla already has this weird shape-shifting fidget toy, but she loves it and I think anyone who has busy hands would really enjoy fiddling with it.

Hair wax stick: I keep seeing this kind of thing on Instagram reels about sleek up-do hairstyles and I want some and think Carla would enjoy some as well.

Nail strengthening cream: My nails get extra brittle during the winter months and I am all about some nice-smelling cream to make them a little tougher.

Avocado hand warmers: These are cute AND practical – my favorite combo!

Press on nails (no glue): Carla is OBSESSED with fake nails, much to my chagrin. But Christmas stocking are for filling with delight and I know these would delight her.

Fidget sticks: These look fun and I bet my child and cat would like playing with them.

Kitsch scrunchies: Carla is very into her hair these days, and these scrunchies are cute and have a retro appeal.

Undereye pods: I am of course Very Interested in all the red light therapy devices that are all the rage. This seems like a fun and fairly inexpensive way to try it out.

Fidget toy: This fidget toy was on Carla’s list earlier this year, but we got the Morf fidget worm instead; so why not surprise her with this one now?

World’s Smallest Throw Throw Burrito: Carla came across a display of these World’s Smallest toys when were out shopping and wanted ALL of them. I don’t blame her. This is the one I got to stick in her stocking.

Jewelry case keychain: My kiddo has one of these that she attaches to her backpack, and she keeps her earrings and necklaces in it during sports practice. It is so practical and has the added bonus of being cute!

Scented Water Wow: Gone are the days when Carla would have loved this mess-free coloring book, but I do have a neighbor whose kids are at the perfect age.

Star spoke clips: Speaking of neighbors, one of our neighbor children just learned how to ride a bike, and Carla immediately wanted to get her some of these spoke clips. I won’t be putting them in her stocking (I am not Santa and refrain from climbing around people’s chimneys), but they would make a great stocking stuffer.

Bike bell: Ditto for this cute bike bell.

Headlamp: I wonder if this fun headlamp would make me feel more comfortable with Carla out past the late late hour of four o’clock these days? Maybe not, but it might make her feel like an explorer which is a good enough reason to put it in a stocking.

Hydrating skincare (20% through 12/10): This is Carla’s favorite brand of skincare stuff, and it’s winter and everyone’s skin is scaly so it’s time to restock.

Gurrl power cat earrings: I mean, HOW cute are these?

Combination lock Air Tag holder: I was searching for a stocking stuffer for someone who likes to travel but is also constantly worried about thieves, and this lockable Air Tag holder came to my attention. It would be perfect for a bicycle or a piece of luggage or a stroller or all sorts of other things.

Purse and backpack lint catcher: Where has this been all my life, and how can I persuade Carla to use one?

Laundry pet hair remover: Um. I need this so very much.

Reusable lint remover: Speaking of things for dealing with the excessive amount of pet hair I have on my person at all times, this would be great for tucking into a purse or backpack or glove compartment.

LED workshop lights: It’s usually easy to find stocking stuffers for my kid or myself, but finding things that are inexpensive and useful and fun for my Dad is next to impossible. I am not sure these would fit in a stocking, but the price is close enough, and they would definitely be useful!

Jane Austen stickers: I love these.

Candy cane crunch bar: I discovered this chocolate company over the summer and it is FABULOUS. This sounds both festive and tasty!

Coffee paste: Not being a coffee drinker, I can’t tell if this would be actually good… but I think it would be so fun for a coffee fan who also likes to travel or camp.

Big dill energy sticker: My pickle-loving kid would find this so hilarious.

Pizza cutter wheel: One of the things my parents requested for Christmas was some tools for pizza making, so we are absolutely getting them a pizza slicer.

Keto pizza crust mix: This pizza crust would be perfect for the low-carb pizza lover. I am kind of curious to see how it tastes!

Croissant stress ball: Yes, yes, croissants were last year’s thing, but my kid still loves croissants and this is cute.

Croissant hair clip: Another perfect stocking stuffer for the croissant lover!

Eyeshadow palette (20% off through 12/10): I’m not a big makeup wearer, but I love these colors.

Penguin bandages: Who couldn’t use some darling bandages? Let’s put the woo! back in wound care!

Bluetooth transmitter / receiver for AirPods: This would be great for the avid traveler… or for someone who has a lot of long-haul flights coming up.

Magnesium oil spray: I am always on the lookout for things to help me sleep, and this sounds promising.

Giant paper clips: Do I need these? No. Do I want them. Oh yes.

Capybara stress balls: I have to admit that I don’t really get the whole obsession with capybara – they are giant rodents, folks – but my kid thinks they are adorable, so these capybara stress balls caught my eye.

Carbide scribe: My dad does a lot of stained glass projects and this would be great for signing them.

Eye gels: This is one of those items that I always gravitate toward. The search for the product that will transform my undereyes is endless.

Milk frother: As part of my ongoing effort to get Carla to consume more protein and calcium, I am always happy to make her a big mug of hot chocolate (with high protein milk). She would enjoy this milk frother to give her cocoa a little body.

Fancy hot chocolate mix: We’re Swiss Miss people, but sometimes it’s fun to switch things up with a fancy cocoa mix.

Snowflake marshmallows: And fancy marshmallows are always a good bet.

Flexible magnetic claw grabber: I wonder if my dad could use this in his garage? It seems useful!

Flathead cherry and balsamic caramels: I WANT TO EAT ALL OF THESE.

Bombas dog socks: I love Bombas socks and I am very pleased by the little pups featured on these ones. Dogs for your dogs, if you will.

Rachel’s English trifle tea towel: “It tastes like feet!” is one of my all-time favorite lines from Friends. It would be so fun to have this annual opportunity to say it in my best Ross Geller voice.

Fidget ring: I don’t necessarily get the appeal of fidget toys, but as a person who is constantly fiddling with her wedding rings, I do understand why a fidget ring would be tempting.

No-tie shoelaces: I feel like shoelaces are a great option for a stocking, and I like the idea of this no-tie version.

Seed lollipop: I’m always looking for fun gardening related gifts, and I love the idea of these seed “lollipops” that can be planted. These culinary lollipops have a selection of seeds, like basil, tomato, and fennel for pizza night.

Pollinator kit: Or, for the budding gardener, these pollinator kits come with seeds and a little craft project!

Tree kit: I also LOVE this “grow your own Christmas tree” kit – and every kit purchased comes with a matching tree donation.

Huckleberry preserves: I love huckleberries, and I love giving (and getting) jam in my stocking.

Dorothy calendar: Dorothy Zbornak of Golden Girls fame is herself a gift and I love this calendar of her many faces. I possess many of these same expressions, even if I can’t deploy them with quite as much vigor.

Mechanic hourly rate sign: My dad isn’t technically a mechanic, even though he is our family’s resident car guy, but this sign cracks me up anyway.

Satin bonnet: I love the idea of a satin pillow, but I think I like the idea of a satin bonnet even more!

Tote bag: Listen, I do not need another tote bag, but I CANNOT QUIT THEM. They are so useful and there are so many fun options.

Lip balm minis: This is a lot more than I like to spend on a stocking stuffer, but a) it can split up among several stockings and b) I have it on good authority that this is the It Balm among the middle school set.

Studious cats bookmark: Books and cats: nature’s perfect pairing.

Custom Owala water bottle nametag: We are getting Carla an Owala for Christmas, and we’re getting it engraved with her name, but this water bottle nametag would be an excellent alternative.

Watercolor postcards: I love the idea of these paintable postcards!

Spice and cookie set: The names of these spice mixes alone make me want to buy them, not to mention the fact that I can use them to make cookies.

Moisturizing gloves: This was on my sister-in-law’s wish list, and this set has enough pairs of gloves to spread around among all the women whose stockings I need to fill.

Croissant chocolate bar: I have never heard of a chocolate bar that has pieces of croissant in it, but I’m really glad I have now.

Make It Mini diner set: My kid has really kind of outgrown toys by this point (sob!), but she still loves the Miniverse blind balls. How can I not get her one??

Butterfly hair claw: This is so pretty!

Capybara pens: As I mentioned earlier, capybara are having a moment, and pens always come in handy.

Cateye stamp: Carla would LOVE THIS. So would I, if I had anywhere requiring Fancy Makeup.

Sour Swedish candy mix: Speaking of things Carla would love – actually, our whole family would love this mix. (I didn’t get the memo, but apparently Swedish candy is all the rage these days?)

Zodiac nail stickers: I got such a wave of nostalgia when I came across these! I used to love nail stickers, but haven’t tried them for… thirty years, I bet. Maybe more.

Temporary tattoos: I also kind of love these holiday-themed temporary tattoos. They are so simple, I kind of want to try them on myself?

Uno No Mercy: This was on Carla’s wish list and I like the idea of an upgraded version of a classic game.

Bacon taster: I love to put sweet treats in people’s stockings, but some of my family members prefer savory things. I am totally intrigued by this bacon taster, which seems to be a single strip of bacon in a package that supposedly tastes just like bacon at breakfast. I don’t know how that’s possible but I feel the need to find out.

Spicy peanuts: Peanuts make another great non-sweet treat, and this brand has the added benefit of being sugar free.

Spicy buffalo peanuts: These spicy peanuts also sound yummy! And they are “artisan” which maybe makes them feel slightly more gift-worthy??? (Why yes, I do overthink everything.)

Light-up door hanger: I think my kid would LOVE to have a way to leave us messages about when and how to contact her once she’s holed up in her room.

Cocofloss refillable mint floss: Practical gifts like oral hygiene items most definitely belong in a stocking, especially when they are a little more fun / fancier than the norm. I am also intrigued by the idea that this floss is refillable.

Vermont weather stick: This looks so silly but also kind of fun?

Friends notepad: Super nostalgic. I love the quote at the top and I want to get this for my Friends-loving bestie very much.

Holiday spice tea: I love tea, but I’m always a little wary of trying a NEW tea, so it would be fun to get a sampler size that allows for tasting without a big commitment.

Heatless hair curler: I swear I asked for and received something similar to this a few years ago, but this is a much better price… and I wonder if Carla would use it?

Hair wax: I’m pretty sure this list already contains a hair wax, but I like the name of this one and I have no idea which brand is better, so I’m including this one, too.

Book of foreign swear words: I feel like this would be a delightful stocking stuffer for the right kind of person.

Odd-size measuring spoons: I have wanted a set of these for SO long – how nice would it be to scoop out exactly two teaspoons in one go?! While we’re at it, I love that King Arthur also sells a “spare measuring spoons” set. PERFECT stocking stuffer.

Snoopy towel: I adore Snoopy.

Chocolate sea salt cookies: YUM.

Sticker by number book: I’m not a HUGE fan of giving Christmas stuff for Christmas, but then again it can be nice to have a Christmassy craft or project to do on Christmas Day, in that lull between opening gifts and eating dinner.

Mini jigsaw puzzle: This 100-piece puzzle is in the same vein: something Christmassy but small enough to complete on Christmas Day.

Sandwich staples: My husband LOVES British food and I think he would be excited to try two of the three sandwich accoutrements in this little gift set. The mustard would be mine, all mine.

Champagne stopper: Speaking of things that would be all mine, I am really the only person in my household who enjoys a glass of bubbly. Usually Kirkland’s finest prosecco, if we’re being honest – you can’t go wrong with $9 prosecco. But I don’t drink an entire bottle in one go and my method of putting a bit of aluminum foil on the bottle while it waits for me in the fridge is… not great. So a specific Champagne stopper would be very useful, is what I’m saying! Is it weird to stop up $9 wine with an $18 stopper? Don’t know, don’t care.

Frank Lloyd Wright playing cards: I love how colorful and fun these are! Birchie – do you need these?

Cheese calendar: YES PLEASE.

Cheese socks: There’s nothing quite so meta as stuffing stockings in a stocking, but these cheese socks are kind of irresistible.

Cheese socks seems like a good note to end on, so I’ll stop there. Hopefully all this fake shopping has resolved my stocking stuffer syndrome symptoms, and yours, too, if you suffer similarly.

What are your favorite things to give / receive in stockings? Did you get an orange in your stocking every Christmas? I’m pretty sure I did, and, well, I haven’t carried on that tradition with my own family. Probably because I don’t understand its origin. If you do, please enlighten me.