not what I ever thought I’d be spending money on

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My Personal Care Regimen and Associated Costs

My personal care regimen is something I’ve been thinking about ever since Engie posted about the Beauty Tax a couple weeks ago. (Basic premise: women spend more on their appearance than men do; based on a survey, the average American women spends $877 on her appearance.) While the concept itself was fascinating to me, what I really loved was that Engie gave us a detailed inventory of the items she uses on her own hair, skin, and body upkeep. While I am a little afraid to know how many thousands of dollars I spend each year on my appearance, I still find the whole topic quite interesting.

Blatantly copying Engie, here’s my personal care routine and what I spend money on, in terms of haircare, skincare, cosmetics, and fitness.

SKINCARE:

Because I have rosacea, I have had to change my skincare regimen quite a bit over the past couple of years.

  • Cleanser: I wash my face at least twice a day, and often three times a day: morning, after my workout, and before bed. I use a prescription sulfur-based cleanser which costs me $35.64 per bottle. On the occasions when I wash my face a third time, I use Cetaphil. My husband and I used to share the Cetaphil, but he doesn’t like it, so he’s now buying his own manly face wash. I estimate that I go through about five bottles of Cetaphil a year. The last time I bought it was on November 29, and it cost $8.79 at Target. It’s too early to tell about the sulfur based face wash, but I’m guessing a bottle lasts about two months.
  • Moisturizer: I buy Cerave and Cetaphil products on the recommendation of my dermatologist. I use a Cerave moisturizer at night and a Cetaphil moisturizer with sunscreen during the day. The Cerave costs me $16.99 at Target and the Cetaphil costs me $15.49. I don’t love either, but they are very light. On a previous post when I was whining about my skin, someone recommended Clinique Moisture Surge, which I used to use religiously, so I may consider going back to that. My memory is that it left my skin feeling like I was nourishing it, rather than like I was applying expensive air to it. I haven’t been using these products long enough to know how frequently I go through them, but I think I’m on my third bottle of each.
  • Cleansing Wipes: Occasionally, I will remove my makeup with a Neutrogena wipe. Nothing removes mascara like these bad boys. I get a big box of these wipes from Costco, for around $26.00. They last me a long time; I probably buy one or two boxes a year.
  • Lips: My lips get very dry, especially in winter, so I apply Vaseline frequently throughout the day and every night before bed. The last time I purchased Vaseline was November 29, and it cost me $5.49 for a twin pack of .5 oz tubs; one tub lasts me quite a while. I bought a twin pack on May 23 (for $3.69!!! What is with the huge price increase?!) and gave one tub to my daughter. The first tub lasted me until yesterday.
  • Body Lotion: I wear body lotion daily, and apply it to my entire epidermis after my shower. I use Eucerin. My favorite Eucerin (Daily Hydration) has been out of stock at Target lately, so I had to buy the Roughness Relief last time ($12.99) and I hate it. It makes my skin feel sticky. Yuck. Next time, I will buy a three pack from Amazon for $35.97.  
  • Sunscreen: In the winter months, I use the Cetaphil with sunscreen and call it a day. In the summer, I use Neutrogena SheerZinc Dry Touch sunscreen, which is about $25 a bottle. I can usually get a bottle to last the whole summer.

Estimated Total Skincare Costs for 2023: $560.72

MAKEUP:

I don’t wear a lot of makeup. Most days I wear something, but only put on a lot of makeup for special occasions.

I love this mascara.

Near-Daily Makeup Routine

  • Mascara: I love me some mascara, and usually if I’m out of the house I’m wearing mascara. In May and then again in July, I bought a tube of Maybelline Falsies Lash Lift Volumizing and Lengthening Mascara for $9.99. (I have bought two other mascaras since then, but I bought them in-store and for some reason I don’t have a record of the purchase in my Target app.)
  • Eyebrow Filler: My natural hair color is light brown, but I color my hair dark brown. To me, my eyebrows look pale and ridiculous against my hair, so I darken them. I have my hair stylist dye my brows every time I get my hair colored (three or four times a year), but the brow color fades really quickly. So I use an eyebrow mascara for the rest of the year. My current eyebrow mascara is Revlon ColorStay Brow Fiber Filler Eyebrow Gel in Dark Brown. It cost me $10.99 the last time I bought it, which was in mid July of this year.
I don’t wear any sort of foundation. I’ve tried it before, and wore it to proms in high school and to my wedding, but that was enough.

Special Occasion Makeup Routine

  • Highlighter: I love my Tula rose glow cooling and brightening eye balm. It feels so good on my skin and I think it really helps deflect from my under eye bags. I got the stick I have in a FabFitFun box in early 2021, and I am still using it. Is this the best in terms of health hygiene? No. Do I care? Not particularly. I am getting near the end though, and will definitely buy it again. It costs about $38.00.
  • Eyeliner: I have been using Almay ink liquid eyeliner for years and years. Even though my Target app is pretending like I have never once purchased it, I certainly have. It costs around $7.49 a tube, but one tube lasts me a long while.
  • Blush: I use a Clinique Chubby Stick Cheek Color Balm to add a little color to my cheeks. Again, cover your eyes if you believe that skincare products have an expiration date, but I have had this so long I cannot remember when I got it. Also, I am 99% sure that I got it from my mother, who may or may not have gotten it as a free gift with purchase.
  • Eye Shadow: I am not good at applying any sort of “fancy” makeup, but once in a while I like a little shimmer on my eyelids. This Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow Stick in Soft Bronze is my favorite. I bought it last spring for around $33 and it’s still going strong.
  • Lip Gloss: I feel like a huge weirdo when I apply any sort of lip color, but sometimes it’s still nice. This Haus Laboratories lip gloss is my current go-to. I think it was around $25 when I bought it last spring and I don’t see it running out anytime soon.

Estimated Total Makeup Costs for 2023: $135.95

Except for the bar soap, everything on the left side is mine. Except for the Cetaphil, everything on the right side is my husband’s. I hate our shower so very much. See that tiny shelf up on the right? There’s an identical shelf on the opposite side of the shower and that’s it for storage. Also, there’s no place for me to rest my feet when I shave my legs, so I have to balance on one foot while shaving (or have water in my face the entire time).

HAIRCARE:

I have longish, thickish hair that greys easily. My biggest beauty expense every year is my hair, because I get it professionally cut and colored. (I tried coloring it myself during the height of the pandemic, but I hated it so much. It was awkward and I felt like my hair always came out with weird streaks because I didn’t apply the color correctly. I am HAPPY to pay a professional.)

  • Cut and Color: I get my hair cut and colored three to four times a year. With tip, this costs approximately $160.
  • Shampoo and Conditioner: I complained a few times to my hair stylist that the dye wasn’t taking to my hair very well, and she suggested that my cheap drugstore shampoo and conditioner were to blame. I bought a ridiculously expensive bottle of fancy shampoo from the salon and used that for awhile, but I just couldn’t stomach spending that amount on shampoo again. So I bought a twin pack of TRESemme Keratin Smooth Color Shampoo and Conditioner and have been using that for awhile. (Neither Target nor Amazon have a record that I made this purchase, but I think it was from Amazon sometime this past summer.) If I were to replace both bottles today, it would cost $20.99 on Amazon. I only wash my hair once or twice a week, so shampoo and conditioner last me a looooonnnnng time.
  • Styling Cream: After I wash my hair, I comb some Aveda Smooth Infusion through it. My hair is naturally wavy, but I straighten it 90% of the time, and this styling cream seems to help keep my hair smooth and frizz-free.  I don’t see my specific bottle available on my salon website, but I could by something similar (though only 5 oz instead of 8.5) for $37.
  • Hair Ties: Does this count? I am counting it; it’s an expense my husband doesn’t have, and one I repeat. I put my hair into a ponytail every time I shower, every time I exercise, every time I drive my kid to school without doing my hair. I prefer the Goody Ouchless Elastics. The last time I bought a package (of 37 hair ties) it cost me $4.99.

Estimated Total Haircare Costs for 2023: $744.96

MISCELLANEOUS

  • Fun Hand Soap: My husband uses the Up and Up brand of clear liquid hand soap, 99 cents per 7.5 oz bottle, $4.79 per 50-oz refill.) But I love having fun, nice-smelling hand soap in the bathroom. I love the Method French Lavender Gel Hand Soap and the UltaBeauty Foaming Hand Wash…but they are $3.99 and $7.00 respectively, so I only buy them when they go on sale. (Occasionally, Ulta will have a sale where each bottle is $2.50 or $3, which is reasonable unless I compare it to my husband’s 99 cent soap.) I have probably purchased three bottles of fancy soap this year.
  • Body Wash: I don’t like bar soap, so I use body wash to clean my body. I am not super picky about what I use – it just can’t be exfoliating because that clogs my pores. I usually go for whatever combination of decent-smelling and cheap that I can find. I’ve used Suave Essentials body wash, which is $3.19 per 18-oz bottle and am currently working my way through a bottle of St. Ives Eucalyptus/Tea Tree body wash, which was $3.99 for 22 ounces. I quite like this scent so I will stick with it as long as I can find it at Target. I probably buy a new bottle of body wash every six to eight weeks.
  • Razor: I shave my legs every single time I shower; I cannot stand the feel of stubbly legs, particularly when they are wet and stubbly. I shave my underarms every other time I shower and my bikini line whenever it needs to be tended. When I need new razors, I buy them from Costco at about $36.99 a pop. If they are on sale, all the better. I am terrible about changing the heads of my razors, so they last me a very long time. I did have to buy new ones this year, though.
  • Foot Lotion: I owe so many wonderful things in my life to Nicole, and the O’Keefe’s Healthy Feet Cream Exfoliating is one of them. This stuff is amazing. I use it once or twice a week. It costs about $8.96 for a 3-oz tube and I estimate I go through about three tubes a year. Once I accidentally bought the non-exfoliating foot cream and IT IS NOT THE SAME.
  • Hand Lotion: O’Keefe’s Working Hands Hand Cream, at $7.97 for 3 ounces, is my favorite hand cream of all time. It’s not greasy, it’s very nice and think, it’s soothing, and it helps keep my hands from cracking and bleeding all winter long. I have a tube of this in my nightstand drawer, a tube in my car, and a giant tube in the kitchen. It is magic. I go through probably eight tubes a year.
  • Nail Polish: I hardly ever get my finger- and toenails professionally painted, because it lasts such a short time. But I do like to paint my toes in the summer and occasionally I will paint my fingernails as well. Because I am very impatient, I prefer the quick-drying polishes – Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color ($5.98 on Amazon), and Essie Expressie  (around $8 or $9, depending on color). I probably buy between one and three bottles of nail polish a year.
  • Deodorant: I use deodorant every day and probably go through three sticks a year? I prefer Secret. I haven’t bought any deodorant at all this year because I bought a six pack last year… from Costco, maybe?

Estimated Total Miscellaneous Expenses for 2023: $189.90

PERFUME

I love wearing perfume. Especially now that I smell faintly of sulfur due to my medicated face wash, I wear perfume pretty frequently.

And if you think I keep my makeup for a long time, you have no idea. My bottles of Lucky and Dream perfume are from high school. That was in the 1990s, people. They still smell good! The Allure, I got in college, and my bottles of Truth and Blue are from the early aughts. My newest perfume is the Tiffany Sheer, which I love. I got it for Christmas in 2019 and it’s nearly gone, so I’m on the hunt for a new scent.

One of the women I volunteer with smells amazing and I would LOVE to know what perfume she wears (so I can buy it for myself). But I don’t know her that well. Would it be super weird to ask her the name of her perfume?

Total Perfume Expenses for 2023: $0

This weight looks so weird in my hand. I promise it’s symmetical.

FITNESS

While I do strength training approximately three to four times a week, I follow free videos on YouTube. (My favorite workouts are from Lindsey Bomgren of Nourish Move Love and Tracy Steen of Move Daily Fitness.) Sometimes I think about paying for a membership for Nourish Move Love, but I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. In years past, I really enjoyed barre classes, but I haven’t felt moved to go back.

This year, my fitness purchases have included hand weights ($34.99 for a pair of 20s, and $25.99 for a pair of 15s) and a yoga mat ($21.98). (Also, I got a giant yoga mat for Christmas! Woo!) In previous years, I’ve spent money on grippy socks, fingerless yoga gloves, and headbands.

Estimated Total Fitness Costs for 2023: $82.96

Estimated Total Overall Beauty Products for 2023: $1714.49

(Looked at another way, this is $142.87 per month. I don’t know which way makes me feel worse.)

Okay, this total is honestly a bit lower than I anticipated. HOWEVER, it doesn’t include my dermatology appointments, although it probably should. It doesn’t include things I do for my overall health, like doctor’s appointments or acupuncture or mental health care, which seems pretty closely related (especially if I loop all these things into one “personal care” category). It doesn’t include any dental expenses or eyecare expenses (I wear contacts), although maybe it should. It doesn’t include any sort of clothing, even though pretty much all clothing falls under the umbrella of “beauty.” Even if I stick to more rigid categories, I buy leggings and shirts and sports bras and shoes JUST for the purposes of Fitness but I didn’t count any of that. Plus, I’m sure there are a few one-off things that I have forgotten about or missed, so the total is probably closer to $2,000 in overall “beauty” expenses. And that’s still probably a conservative estimate.

That total probably fluctuates year over year, too – I mean, I won’t be buying the same hand weights again next year, and hopefully I’m all set for yoga mats. I am betting I can make the razors last for at least a year. But maybe my hair dryer will short out and I’ll need to replace it, or I’ll decide to get all new hairbrushes next year or something.

All that said, I really don’t think I’m a particularly big spender when it comes to personal care stuff. Maybe with the exception of my cut and color (which I am not giving up, no way, no how), it feels pretty reasonable. And I think YOUR expenses are reasonable too. We have bodies, and we need to do things to take care of those bodies, to preserve them for the future, to make them feel good.

What is your most expensive body care category? What perfume do you wear? Do you prefer bar soap or body wash? What’s the last beauty splurge you made and would you do it again?

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I-Hate-Shorts Shorts (Shorts for Shorts Haters) (Let’s Say Shorts Some More Times)

I hate shorts. It’s the item of clothing I loathe the most – well, I guess I might put it head-to-head with “romper” – but rompers are one-piece shorts anyway, right?

Let’s be clear about something. I do not hate shorts on OTHER PEOPLE. (Same goes for rompers and jumpsuits and even palazzo pants.) When I see other people wearing [hated clothing item], I either a) don’t notice and simply register is as “That person is not naked” OR b) I envy how well they are pulling it off.

How I would LOVE to like shorts. They are so practical in the hot summer months. They are so useful for trips to warmer climates (not that anyone’s going on trips to any sort of climate). They are so CUTE on SO MANY PEOPLE.

But not me. I do not like the way I look in shorts. I do not like the way they feel.  I do not like the way they make me feel about the way I look.

I see other people in the world, just going about their business, wearing shorts, and sure, a lot of those people I admire have long, thin, shapely legs. But there are PLENTY of shorts-wearing women who look GREAT in shorts and who have shorter or curvier or sturdier legs. I feel weird saying what I am about to say, because I (we) have been so conditioned to think of “fat” as a pejorative term, but there are plenty of FAT women who look great in shorts because obviously being fat is not a contraindication for being cute or stylish. You can be both.

But for ME, shorts have always been a downer. I’ve tried. A few years ago, I bought several pairs of some longish shorts from J. Crew. Last year, I think, I bought a pair of longish shorts from Talbots. They were okay. I didn’t hate life when I wore them. But I didn’t love them, either. Mainly, in summer, I wear sundresses or I suffer in jeans.

And I pine for a universe in which I could wear shorts.

However… I wear exercise shorts. I wear them almost daily. Sometimes even in public. I like they way they feel. And I don’t mind (too terribly much) the way I look in them.

So I wondered if maybe, somehow, there was some way to replicate the feel of athletic shorts… but in, like, a regular, everyday kind of short.

The word “shorts” is rapidly losing meaning.

To cut a VERY long story short (ha) (also, not short at all, we are already a good 400+ words into this post by now and there is MORE TO COME), I SUCCEEDED.

I have, this very summer, purchased FOUR PAIRS of shorts that I actually like. My thighs are still thick. My legs are still stubby. I still have cellulite. But I wear these shorts in public and still feel cute. I can’t give any higher recommendation than that, so let me show you them.

Pair the First: Madewell High Rise Cuffed Denim Shorts

Shorts Madewell

This image is a lie. These shorts are longer and much roomier in person. Photo from nordstrom.com

These were my gateway shorts, if you will. I am pretty sure I saw them first on Kendi Everyday. Please click through to see Kendi modeling these shorts, instead of using the above thumbnail as a guide – there is a WORLD of difference in the fit. And the way they looked on Kendi was the way I wanted them to look on me. Most shorts look, on me, like they do on the thumbnail model – tight. But, because – unlike the thumbnail model – I have thick thighs (which is a perfectly acceptable type of body part) there is no tapering below the hem of the short. Sometimes there is even… thigh bulge below the hem. Which is neither physically comfortable nor aesthetically pleasing to my ever-self-critical eye.

On Kendi, though, the Madewell shorts appeared to have nice, roomy leg openings. So I bought a pair and lo! they fit as I hoped and I love them very, very much. Did I ever think I would spend nearly seventy (70) US dollars on a pair of denim shorts? No, no I did not. Was it worth it? Yes it was. I have worn them many, many times this summer, sometimes even – purposely – instead of pajamas!

Pair the Second: Topshop Roll Hem Mom Denim Shorts

Shorts Topshop

Do I hate the name of these shorts? Yes, I do. Have I irritated myself with this question-and-answer format? YES I HAVE. Photo from nordstrom.com

Confession time. I went on kind of a denim shorts binge after the success of the Madewell pair. I have not owned a single pair of denim shorts since high school, so I guess I felt the need to make up for lost time. Plus, I had been abstaining from non-essentials shopping for most of March, all of April, and all of May, and I was really itching to spend money. I am deeply grateful for Nordstrom’s free shipping and free returns policy because I really put both to good use in June.

The name of these shorts annoyed me, but the SHAPE of them was very appealing. I don’t want shorts that GRIP my thighs. I want roomy leg openings, folks. And these shorts delivered. (They also have a high rise, which is good for keeping the tum tucked in.)

For those of you who care, my husband likes these shorts less than he does the Madewell shorts. He says they aren’t as flattering. And, sure, they are a little less fitted in the buttular region. But I will repeat: roomy leg openings.

Pair the Third: Universal Thread Women’s High Rise Pull-On Shorts

Shorts Target

The next best thing to wearing jammies. Photo from target.com

At some point – probably after trying and returning my fifth or sixth pair of denim shorts – I realized that a woman doesn’t necessarily need that many pairs of jorts. Two, it turns out, shall suffice. Especially for a shorts-hater like myself, especially during a pandemic when one so rarely needs to change out of pajamas.

Speaking of pajamas: I have several pairs of soft pajama shorts that I really love to wear. My experience finding jean shorts that mimic my beloved exercise shorts having gone so well, I wondered, in a very Carrie Bradshaw way: could I find non-pajama shorts that had everything I found so appealing about my pajamas?

Indeed I could! And these are they. They are loose and comfy but the fabric is sturdy enough that it’s clear you haven’t just rolled out of bed. Or, if you HAVE just rolled out of bed, you at least rolled past your dresser and put on some Real Clothes before leaving the house.

Best of all, these are under $20. (I think I got them on sale for $15.)

Pair the Fourth: CeCe Pleat Front Double Stripe Shorts

Shorts CeCe

For all your Fancy Shorts occasions. Photo from nordstrom.com

Now that we have the Denim and Not-Pajama categories of shorts covered, let’s go straight to the Fancy Shorts option. Because what we all need during a pandemic is something fancy, right?

These shorts have all that I now know I need in a short: A high rise, a roomy leg opening, free shipping.  Plus, they’re cute. I picture myself wearing them to all the adults-only backyard cocktail parties no one is throwing this summer.

Have I worn them out of the house yet? No, I have not. But I could. And that’s good enough for me.

 

And there you have it. Four pairs of shorts for a (reformed?) shorts-hater.