Football season is back, baby! It’s super problematic and fills me with conflict and yet I just can’t quit it! My husband and I enjoyed a luxurious afternoon watching our team win yesterday and sampling some Octoberfest beers, all from the comfort of our living room. Carla made herself a couch out of blankets and the cushions from the actual couch, and sat there through the whole game. She was originally very excited about football, but then realized after only a few minutes that she finds it quite boring. Well. It took me many decades before I learned how to enjoy it, so I get it. She watched a few shows on her iPad, then started doing a “research project” on her computer that seems to involve googling photos of animals and pasting the photos into a google doc. There may be an element of alphabetization at play. (“Mommy, Daddy, what’s an animal that starts with a G? All I can think of is ‘gnu.’”) Delightful.
We’ve been having fallish weather, which is pleasant. And makes me crave all the soups and stews and hearty foods. We made impromptu chili last night, which was delicious, and which means we have leftovers for dinner tonight.
This week also marks the start of all of Carla’s after school activities. To be fair, we started one activity a little more than a month ago, and then there was a week of tryouts for the sport she’s doing. But the real, FULL schedule begins this week. (Technically, it’s not “full” yet. We will add a second Monday activity in late October as part of her music lessons. I am apprehensive about that one, because it means Carla will need to eat dinner in the car as we drive from one activity to another.)
I did after-school activities as a kid – piano and gymnastics starting when I was in elementary school – and I remember dinners being tricky. Well, they were also wonderful because I had a sanctioned reason to eat fast food; my parents both worked right up until the time of the activities, and our house was too far out of town for us to go home for dinner. I have no recollection of how I got from school to my parents’ offices. But I do remember fighting with my brother over whether we were going to get tacos or McDonalds for dinner, and then eating whatever we’d decided on at my father’s paper-cluttered desk while he finished seeing patients and dictating notes. This was the time before smart phones and iPads, too, so I am not sure what we did while we waited. Looked through old medical journals and bickered, probably.
I don’t remember feeling overscheduled when I was a kid. But until high school (when I still did piano, but also added debate, cheerleading, individual voice lessons, and a capella group practice), I had two, maybe three activities spanning two or maybe three nights a week. Carla is going to have something every single day. Yikes. She and my husband and I talked at great length about the scheduling and the time commitment, and I am hopeful that it won’t be too overwhelming. Carla doesn’t really have homework yet, so her only requirements at home are playing her instrument, reading for 15 minutes, and keeping her room and play areas tidy. And even though she’s doing something every night, she really only has three activities. (Sport: 3 nights a week. Instrument: 2 nights a week. School activity: 2 afternoons a week.) And she is SO excited about all of them.
She’s a very busy, active kid, so I don’t necessarily worry that much about her being overstimulated or tired. My main worry is that she won’t feel like she has any time to play, which is really so important for kids. But she will be able to come home after school three days a week and play a bit before her sports practice. Plus, her weekends aren’t terribly crowded. Well. I forgot about Girl Scouts. She will have Scout meetings once a month. But that’s not too bad. And then there’s skiing, but that doesn’t start until January.
Well. We’ll see how it goes. If it’s impossible, or she’s too exhausted, we will apologize profusely and back out of one of the activities.
Did you do after-school activities when you were a kid? Did you feel overscheduled? If you are a parent, what is/was it like for your kiddo/s? Do you think Carla and I are nutso for doing this to ourselves on purpose?
With all these activities, I am back to planning super easy meals with plenty of leftovers. Here’s what’s on the agenda for this week:
Dinners for the Week of September 12-19
- Leftover Chili: This reminds me that I have never posted my chili recipe. It’s very good. I make it with ground beef and beans, but it’s very adaptable to be vegetarian or to accommodate alternate types of ground meat or your particular preference for beans.
- Spinach and Artichoke Chicken: I don’t know why, but I’ve been dreaming about something like this for awhile. I think it should make some good leftovers, and it sounds perfect for fall.
- Crockpot BBQ Pork: This was on the menu a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t execute it for whatever reason. So it’s happening this week. I slather my pork on a baked potato, my husband eats his in a sandwich with coleslaw. The pork tenderloins at Trader Joe’s were teensy, but I think I can make this stretch to two nights anyway.
- Lentil Soup: I haven’t made lentil soup in a good long while, but it sounds really yummy. I got pre-made mirepoix from Trader Joe’s, which makes this meal very simple to put together. Perhaps I will also make a loaf of miracle no-knead bread to go along with it. I’ll make a nice big pot, which should make enough for another night of dinners and maybe even a lunch or two.
Are you having fall weather in your neck of the woods? Are you a football fan? Any fall meals on the docket for you this week?
We are not having fall weather yet where I am, but I am eagerly anticipating the time when soup will reappear in our meal rotation.
I am trying very hard to limit the amount of extra curriculars activities my kids are participating in this year, but it is so hard! I hate the feeling that I am denying them the opportunity to explore an interest or to gain the skills necessary to participate in sports later on…. But also, there are the of them, all different ages, and therefore different skill levels, and only one of me to drive them all the different places…. I convinced them all that they wanted to take dance classes this year, so they are all at the same dance studio. But all at different timing, so that there are some days of the week that I drive back and forth to the dance studio for separate times! We are about to add in rehearsals for the nutcracker, which will further complicate the fall schedule. I wrote in “sandwiches” as the planned meal for one night this week, knowing full well that at least one child will have to eat in the car.
Having multiple kids with different skills and passions would make it SO hard!!
We broke up with football after one too many domestic violence stories and haven’t really regretted it. I got an email this morning that started with “hope you had a good weekend (aside from football)” and it was sort of liberating that I had no clue what that meant (turns out both the big state university and pro team for the state lost this weekend). Football IS problematic, but it’s also a bit weird to not know anything about this major pop culture phenomenon. Oh, well. I don’t know any songs by Kanye West or Lizzo, either, so I guess that’s what it is.
My parents worked and didn’t have time to drive me to activities, so I literally did not afterschool activities until high school and I remember always having to have lots of quarters to use to the payphone (!) to call home for a ride because my parents had a ridiculous rule about not accepting rides from teenager drives (AKA my friends) and I remember it all being very stressful. I’m glad I’m not a child still.
That does sound stressful! And I too am glad I’m not still a child. Yuck. I mean, there were some good things about it… but also. Yuck.
I think it sounds great. Carla is enthusiastic and she’s getting to stretch herself with all these wonderful extracurriculars. I didn’t get much opportunity to do extracurriculars as a kid and I wish I had…
Because of my personality (and, when they were younger, financial constraints + the fact we live in a small town where there aren’t a lot of options), our kids are only now getting in to extracurriculars and I feel like we’re a bit late. Most of their classmates have done _________ (insert extracurricular) for many years and my kids are novices. I don’t regret our decision to be relatively underscheduled, but it does have some downsides later on when kids want to dip their toe into those waters and don’t have some of the foundational experiences/skills.
You’re doing great. Carla sounds, as always, absolutely delightful. And you’re also an adult that can – as you know! – pull her out of an activity as needed. For now, if it works for everyone and Carla’s enthusiastic, I think it all sounds wonderful.
I feel a bit “late” when it comes to the music lessons. So many of Carla’s classmates have been taking piano, for instance, for several years already, and we are just beginning with an instrument this year. Same with sports. I feel this weird (internal) pressure that Carla should have A Sport by now, because a bunch of her cohort have been doing soccer or ballet or swimming or whatever since they were small. But I didn’t have A Sport until high school and… so what?!?! I don’t know why I angst over this stuff. Hopefully I am keeping the angst to myself and not projecting it on Carla, because she is FINE. Every kid learns at their own pace.
Good luck! There have been times when the boys’ schedules have made us crazy but it’s all been worth it. So far we’ve only got two nights a few for activities this fall but I have a feeling that will change.
I don’t remember doing any afterschool activities as a kid! I don’t think there were that many options near me. Well, wait, there was a Children’s Theater period, I think. And I played soccer for a year until I could convince my parents that okay, I tried it, and I hate it, can I stop now? (I have always been so uncoordinated, sports are no joy to me.) But I love Carla’s enthusiasm for trying things, and I think your plan to keep an eye on how it goes and prepare to drop something if necessary is a good one. So many balancing acts to parent these days, it seems.
We’re getting a little taste of fall in the mornings (tomorrow it’s only supposed to be in the 50s! *heart-eyes*) but most afternoons still 80s for us. But Kate’s ready to do the fall decorating, and I am too! She bought us some pumpkin-spice keurig pods last weekend, so we’re READY.
We also love football, although our team did not win yesterday, booo. We’ve added college football this year since Alex is marching! So fun! I can’t wait to have some dip- and chili-eating football weekends!
As for the activities, ohhh, yes, we have done the eat-in-the-car weeknights, and the change-clothes-in-the-car between activities. Many times. It had zero negative effects, as far as I can tell. Go for it! Lean in and enjoy what you can. The driving part sucks, but there are good things for sure. They sleep well, for one! 😉
I would like the fall weather to arrive and the smoke and wildfires to go away! I didn’t do much extracurricular growing up because there wasn’t a whole lot I could do. I was a Campfire Girl for a while and played the piano and violin. At school I was in a couple clubs. For my girls, it was more complex–a fine line between overscheduled and allowing them to pursue their passions. My older daughter spent most of her junior high and high school pursuing intense dance and art. The younger was a club gymnast and musician. It got to be very time-consuming but they wanted to do it and I hesitated to say no as long as their grades didn’t suffer. Our family life did suffer at times though.
As a mom of an only, with two full time working parents, I’m amazed at my fellow mom friends with multiple children and activities and the scheduling and balancing act that we all do. Our rule is that we talk as a family about a particular activity request and all fully understand the commitment and expense involved. When we list everything out it looks like a long list, but some of the activities are very low-commitment and others are just for a short burst of time. I used to stress about family mealtimes, and I just had to let that go…we still have good conversations about school and stuff in the car (and I learn an awful lot when there are friends in the car) and it won’t be this way forever. My friends and I remind ourselves all the time that we will soon miss the days of being a mom taxi and having a captive audience for conversations.
Think of this fall as an experiment and not something you need to commit to. You can see how it feels and whether it works for everyone. Every family and kid is so different so it might be a great schedule for Carla! Or it might be too much and you’ll figure out what to cull from the schedule.
Our kids are young so don’t have much for activities yet. Both kids have gymastics on the weekend at the same time so that works great. Will used to have swimming but we dropped that so we’d have one free weekend morning for the zoo and other adventures. Paul starts a 4-week soccer class this week on Wednesday. I’ll miss his first day since I’m traveling for work this week.
I did not have much for activities when I was a kid, but my parents both worked full time and I was 1 of 5 kids. So they did not have the bandwidth to have us in much, nor was there much to choose from in my tiny town of 500! I had piano on a weekend morning and that was about it. I did some summer rec leagues but I was so unathletic so that didn’t stick. I was very busy in HS (speech, drama, student council, and other non-athletic pursuits) but I had a license at 15 (crazy right? You could get a license at 14 in ND but my parents made me wait until 15) so I could drive myself to/from school and practices and such. And I had an older sister to drive me around before I had my license.
I bought Emily Oster’s book Family Firm and plan to read it soon. I think she addresses decisions around activities in the book so it might be helpful to read that? I love her newsletter and have loved the other books she has written. I miss following her on social media but not enough to go back to IG!
We are so over-scheduled I cannot even. But! Each individual kid is not over-scheduled. It’s just that there are so many children **shrug** Everyone has a couple of activities except for one kid who is extremely sporty and has, um, 4. But, yes, EVERY NIGHT.
Long time lurker, but I had to comment because this resonated so much for me! I have a just-turned-9 4th grader who is incredibly over-scheduled with activities but thrives on the energy and the people time (my little only child extrovert). I worry that she won’t have time to be bored or solo creative and all those good things because we’ll be bouncing from dance to softball to acting to piano. But, what we’ll lack in family dinners, I’m hoping we’ll make up in really appreciating our together time (and quiet time). Thanks for helping me feel less alone in this quandary!
I’m afraid I have never really understood why kids now have so many activities all at once. I had only one at a time (violin, then horses, then theatre), and that’s all my kids are really up for too. One is in high school and one is in middle school now and they have done a whole bunch of things–soccer, hockey, basketball, cricket, chess, scouting, theatre, dance (very briefly!), piano, and some art classes–but I guess I am just too introverted or too unwilling to give up family dinners, or time to just hang around on the weekends. Homework and homework stress also consumes many weeknights here too. Also, lots of these activities get super expensive very quickly!
Since Carla seems happy and enthusiastic, that sounds wonderful, but I am amazed by all the energy and planning you are able to do! Have fun!
My husband loves football, actually he loves all sports, but football is his favourite. So it’s on all the time around here. He’s a longtime Pats fan but this year is hoping the Bills will win a Superbowl. I do not know how this happened.
I did have activities when I was a kid but it was Girl Guides/ Brownies, and I play piano as well. I only started piano when I was 10 though, which seems late now but that was when I started. I didn’t have a sport at all. I was always in the school plays, other than that, I don’t think I had much going on. I went quite far in piano so that did take up a lot of time during my teen years.
My kids were in karate when they were younger, then nothing, then the pandemic! Now J is wrestling, and M was in drama in grade 12. The best thing ever is that J has his license, and can drive himself to club wrestling at the university three times a week, rather than have me drive him. GREATEST THING EVER.
Every day! That will be busy! But of course, if she loves it she loves it!
Both kids had more after school/weekend activities at that age than any other, though North has kept up a busier schedule in middle and high school that their brother did (probably because he was in academic magnets and they aren’t). Because I don’t drive and Beth worked in an office then, we were limited to activities that were within walking distance or within reach of public transportation. But even so, North often had four at at time. Dinner was sometimes a problem. I don’t regret it, though. There was always time to play, they’re an extrovert, and they do better when they’re busy.
I’m sure I wrote about it. I can send you a link to an old post or two if you’re interested.
Definitely interested! Thank you
The formatting on this one is messed up, but it’s about North’s 3rd grade activities impinging on dinnertime and bedtime.
https://allfortheloveofyou.com/she-likes-the-nightlife-baby/
And this one deals with trying to narrow down how many activities North was going to do in 5th grade.
https://allfortheloveofyou.com/famous-people/
I don’t remember much in the way of extracurriculars when I was young…although there was a brief (VERY BRIEF) stint of softball. I don’t think I ever made it past the first few practices before deciding this was not for me.
With two parents who worked full time Man-Child usually had only one extracurricular. In elementary, that was little league, which he enjoyed but didn’t love.
When he got to middle school that was switched to football. As I recall that was an every week night practice and a game on Saturday. In high school it got even more intense.
As evidenced by his favored sport, yes this is a house that watches football (without me, I really only watched football when my boy was playing; otherwise? No interest).
If Carla (and you) are up for all the activities; great! If something’s not working; let it go.
I feel the saaaame way about football, but I still love the sport so much. I also thought it was so boring when I was a kid and didn’t start to appreciate it until late high school.
We didn’t do too many after-school activities when I was a kid. For one, we really couldn’t afford it. For another, with two working parents, it was too difficult to figure it out. I did do some church activities and I was in cheerleading for one year. But nothing beyond that!
I feel like as long as it is not YOU who is pressuring your child into doing all the things, it’s going to be fine. I think as adults, we value “downtime” a lot more… kids, esp. active kids, enjoy being on the go and they don’t consider their activities commitments. It’s all “play” for them… and if Carla realizes that it is too much, then she’ll decide which activities to cut! 🙂
Oh, lentil soup – I can’t wait for soup weather here in NorCal. We got rain this week. I am so excited.