what’s so bad about jeans anyway?

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Distraction by Shopping

Why yes, I am trying to still the anxious thoughts that are clamoring inside my brain with some good ol’ retail therapy. (I find searching for things I want and putting them into various online shopping carts to scratch my shopping itch nearly as well as shelling out money to buy them.) Join me, will you?

Skincare Storage Solution

For the last billion years, I have stored all my makeup in one of the free pouches my mother got with her Clinique purchases. I don’t wear a whole lot of makeup (mascara, eyebrow mascara, blush, maybe a cream eyeshadow), so it’s never a very crowded makeup bag. But over the past year I seem to have assembled QUITE the collection of what I refer to as my Old Lady Potions. It’s getting a little out of control. I keep some of them stacked together on the counter, and the others are crowded into several makeup bags which means I forget about them.

Currently at THREE makeup bags of assorted Old Lady Potions. Also, I have no idea where to keep My Precious which has kind of an intense cord situation happening.

Carla has been mildly interested in skincare since she started middle school, and her bathroom counter was a disaster, so I got her a little shelving unit for all her face washes and moisturizers and perfumes. (Note: I forgot to measure the available space on her counter, and the shelving unit turned out not to fit in the corner, so it’s sitting awkwardly in the middle. I HATE IT but Carla claims to love it, so I am trying really hard to just go with the flow instead of ordering a second skincare organizer to appease my sense of scale. 

What do YOU do about organizing/storing your makeup and skincare items? I, of course, am currently coveting Carla’s beauty organizer and now want one for myself.

Of course, The All-Knowing Amazon has sensed my desire for a skincare shelving unit of my own, and has served me up with a campaign for this cutie of a shelving unit. Hashtag Ad, I guess?? I am feeling extra averse to amazon these days, especially when the amazon product in question doesn’t seem to be supporting a recognizable small business. So I am wondering: where else do we go to find skincare organizers? 

West Elm has this option, although I think it would take up too much room on my counter. I like this one better, actually, although again it’s much too big for the available space; plus, it’s $140. Pottery Barn Teen has a smaller beauty storage option, but it’s not cute. And of course it’s $69 compared to amazon’s $36. But paying more is part of the sacrifice, right? Or, perhaps I should consider not engaging in overconsumption at all. Or – maybe I need to go in the complete opposite direction and buy myself a vanity table! There’s even a cute little tuck-away-able wall-mount beauty station! 

Cat Core Décor

The All-Knowing Amazon has also tuned into my current intense interest in cat products and has invited me to advertise “the purrfect scratching solution for your feline friend” – this cat scratch lounger. 

By the way, we do not have a cat at this time, and – even though I know (based on a little light Facebook stalking) that our local cattery’s latest batch of kittens has arrived in the world – have no timeframe for getting a cat, I have been doing a lot of cat research. My top concern at this moment is the inevitable destruction of our furniture. All the cat care books say that all you have to do to prevent scratching is spray a little Feliway on your furniture and set up a scratching post right next to your couch and voila! No scratching. (All the actual cat owners I’ve talked to say that the cats will scratch the furniture no matter what I do. Womp womp.) (Stephany? Jenny? Is your furniture ripped to shreds?)

This is going to sound so dumb but I am feeling a little reluctant to have a bunch of cat accoutrements strewn about my house. (Maybe I am not cut out for a cat?) (Maybe this is the equivalent of a pre-parent saying, “I will never let my house be overrun by toys” before they have an Actual ChildTM and understand that toys in all corners of every room are just a part of life?) Anyway, I have been googling things like “mid century modern cat towers” and “scratching posts that look like furniture.” AND I HAVE FOUND THINGS. It delights me that there is indeed a market for luxury pet products.

This three-panel scratching board slash art piece is kind of cool. Although my guess is that it would need to be mounted closer to the floor than an actual art installation. Also: pricey. I am kind of in love with this side tablethat doubles as a scratching post and triples as a cat hideout. But: very pricey. I am *head over heels* for this art piece slash cat perch. Of course: excessively pricey.

I’m a fan of these decorative cat shelves; they could possibly look like art. This wall-mounted cat scratching post isn’t too offensive to my anti-cat furniture sensibilities. I don’t mind this cat tower; it would coordinate with some of our existing furniture. This little cat nest is pretty cute. Oooh – I like this one even better. We just got a new bookshelf that has a lot in common, style wise, with this cat condo; maybe together they would look like Intentional Décor Choice instead of like We Cede Control to the Cat. Okay, okay, how can I resist a CAT ROCKING CHAIR? This cat tree has LEAVES. Here is a litter box station that looks like genuinely nice furniture! 

Please be advised that it is unlikely that I am going to buy any of these. For one thing: spendy. For another: the cat is going to ignore anything I buy for it, isn’t he. But they are fun to consider. I may persuade myself to get this little window perch, though.

This is my parents’ cat (RIP) and he had a litter box in the basement and NOTHING ELSE. Why yes, all their furniture was clawed to pieces why do you ask.

Jean Journey

I have finally crossed over from aggressively avoiding the latest denim trends to reluctantly jumping on the bandwagon. It took me forever to get on the skinny jean train, but I am tired of feeling totally out of style. Plus, baggy jeans are comfy! (Are you still doing skinny jeans? Do you hate the barrel leg jean style as much as I do?)

As with any type of jeans, it is next to impossible to find a pair that fit and feel good and look relatively okay. I should know; I have tried on a million options lately. A few worked: I got a pair of bootcut jeans from Loft that I like quite a bit. I bought a pair of straight leg jeans from Madewell; in fact, I went into an actual store that sells Madewell denim to try them on, and I’m glad I did. I originally thought I wanted wide-leg jeans, but they were MUCH too wide for my shape. These straight jeans are so soft and comfy. Maybe not the most flattering fit I’ve ever worn, but I like them. Oooh – I want to try the 90s fit jeans as well, and they are on a MAJOR sale right now! I also got a pair of these jeans from Stitch Fix (here’s my referral link if you want to get a $25 credit to try it out! I have been getting Fixes for more than a decade now and I still find it fun and I have gotten a ton of cute clothes this way.) and I’ve worn them several times and really like them.

In no universe do I need more jeans.

So I have a few pairs of “in style” jeans, but of course I want more. (See above RE: overconsumption omg.)

I’ve heard good things about Quince, though I’ve never purchased anything from them before. These relaxed straight jeans look very cute and the price is perfect. (Don’t fall for their $30 off sign-up bonus, though; it’s $30 off of $250 and you have to sign up for email AND text messages.)

I read an article in the NYT recently about the best women’s jeans, and these Levi’s jeans got top billing. The ribcage high waist is a little intimidating, though. I love a high waist but ribcage high might be going too far. 

My current body doesn’t mesh well with wide-leg denim, but I do like a bootcut pant. (Well. Only when paired with a heeled shoe. Otherwise I feel too stubby.) Maybe I need a pair of these Kut from the Kloth jeans? I am also intrigued by these very spendy ankle jeans. (FYI – according to this article about whether it’s worth the extra $$$ to buy pricey jeans, you really want to pay attention to the cotton content. My key takeaway is that more cotton equals better denim.)

If you have jeans recs, I am all ears. 

Okay. I suppose I better stop shopping and do something productive. But in case I decide against doing something productive, what are you shopping for these days?

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Pre-School Pre-Fret

Lately, I’ve been watching Gilmore Girls reruns while I exercise (side note: watching Gilmore Girls from the Lorelai perspective rather than the Rory perspective is a WHOLE different experience) and the other day was the episode where Rory goes away to college. Which is how I ended up sobbing on the treadmill.

Because Carla’s impending entrance into pre-school is so similar to GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE.

Yes, my tiny baby begins pre-school later this month. And I am a mess A MESS about it. I know – I know – a big source of my anticipatory dread is that I have a ton of My Baby Is Growing Up FEELINGS. It’s happening so fast, you know? Before I know it, she’s going to be waving at me from her dorm room and then shutting the door.

Okay, I am tearing up again.

So let’s rapidly scoot past those and get to the more practical aspects of my fretting, which can be broken out into three categories:

I Hate Change

We have enrolled Carla in the same private school her father went to for his whole life. This is a good thing. But it means that she will be switching out of the daycare she’s been in since last November. And I am not good with change.

Last fall, when we moved her from the daycare she’d been in since she was three months old to the one she’s in now – and which turned out to be Far Better, So Much So That I Feel Regret About Not Sending Her Here From the Get Go – it was so hard. I think I flubbed it, to be honest. I didn’t really think about what a tremendous change it would be, and so I did a piss poor job of preparing Carla. And so the transition was really rough on her. AS IT WOULD BE.

So this time, my husband and I are trying to find the perfect balance between preparing Carla for this shift and freaking her out about it. But it’s going to be stressful – there’s just no way around it. No matter how old you are, new situations are stressful. Well, at least they are stressful for ME. And Carla is only three and I’m not sure exactly how much she really understands what’s going to happen.

I am having Empathy Fret for Carla about suddenly being wrenched from her teachers… and a familiar routine and surroundings… and her friends.

Plus, I love her daycare. I love her teachers. (Although Carla would, if she stayed at this daycare, switch to new teachers almost immediately, so that aspect of change is inevitable.) I like the staff a lot. I am familiar with MY part of the routine. And she is so confident and happy at this daycare. I hate that we are going to completely eliminate that source of confidence and happiness and comfort from her life.

(Side Note: One of her core teachers left at the end of July, and I almost starting crying saying goodbye to her. And then she left Carla the SWEETEST note about how even if she didn’t see Carla until she – the teacher – is an old woman, she will recognize Carla for her spirit. OMG I was sobbing as I read it.)

This Is Going to Be a Whole New Schedule – for Both of Us

Pre-school goes from 8:30 to 11:30. Then we have the option to add-on lunch and some enrichment time and some aftercare if we need to. I think there’s also a morning-care option too, if necessary. So what we’re doing – now that I am working for myself, from home – is adding lunch and enrichment. On Fridays, Carla will be done at 11:30.

This will be a Big Difference from our current schedule, which is daycare from 9:00 to 5:00.

So I am pre-emptively fretting about that.

Will she get enough stimulation/intellectual challenge/exercise between 8:30 and 2:30?

I’m super excited about having more time, just the two of us. But… what are we going to DO? Will she be tired from school, and need a nap? I don’t think there’s a nap time at school, and she’s used to napping at about 1:30, so I’m anticipating that she’ll be super tired. And if she does nap, now at around 3:00, what will that do to the rest of the day?

What if she finds me super boring? What if we like each other LESS once we spend more time together?

On the other, more selfish, hand, will I be able to get enough work done between 8:30 and 2:30? Will I resent my time with Carla? These are the things I’m most afraid of, I think. That the new schedule will open some sort of rift between us.

I Don’t Know What to Expect

I went to public school all the way until college. In a small town allllll the way across the country from where we live. I don’t know anything about private school in general, or THIS private school, specifically. For instance, I bought a cute shirt on sale at Carter’s for Carla to wear to her new school… and my husband shook his head and said that it wouldn’t meet the school’s dress code. Dress code? Oh right, I remember vaguely that when I met my husband he didn’t own a pair of jeans. Because denim is not on the dress code at his school. (Where I come from, you can wear jeans to CHURCH.)

So, okay, dress code. That’s one thing I’m going to have to figure out. No denim. No logos. No words. My husband insists no pictures, either – like, you can’t have a shirt with a butterfly on it. That’s making it a LITTLE difficult to shop.

And I don’t know about drop-off and pick-up – I’m sure we’ll learn about that, but since I don’t have a clue, I’m anxious about it. Will I have to arrive super early? Will I be spending hours each week in a long car line? Will I just… open the door and let Carla out? She’s my BABY, how can I trust she’ll get where she needs to go without me?

And I don’t know what the teachers are going to want/expect in terms of parental involvement. Like, will they expect me to ask questions and talk to them every day? Which I’m fine with! Or will they expect that I will only talk to them when they have an issue to bring up? Which I am less fine with.

And what about parental involvement beyond my own child? Will they expect me to join the PTA? I have never been part of the PTA! I am open to it. And I do like the idea of a sort of forced-interaction with other parents, which might result in some new friendships. But: ACK NEW EXPERIENCE ACK.

You must know that I WANT to send Carla to this school! I feel GRATEFUL that we are able to send her to this school! It is a FANTASTIC school! When I first visited, I was blown away by the campus and the class options and I listened with dreamy delight as my husband told me about his teachers and the courses he took. And HE went there, and HE turned out great! The school has a values system that they take seriously and it infuses their entire curriculum, and I think my husband embodies those values. He is honest and straightforward and hardworking and believes in being a contributor to his community. I think his school had a lot to do with why he’s such a great guy. And he still, to this day, has friends from school. Friends that have become MY friends, and whose kids have become friends with my kid. And those friends are all pretty great people too. AND! It provides a top-notch academic education! And it has great activities! And it’s just a super all-around school. I am SO GLAD that Carla was accepted (yes, of course there was an intensive application process) and I am DELIGHTED that she will be attending this school.

But everything about it is so foreign. Ev. Ree. Thing.

Those are the main Sources of Anticipatory Dread, but thousands of others keep flitting through my head: What if she’s too rambunctious or enthusiastic? What if the transition is super stressful? What if the school turns out NOT to be a good fit? What if she won’t eat the food there? What if she hates her teachers? What if she doesn’t make friends? What if her teachers don’t like her? What if her teachers don’t like ME?

I know that some of this is just going to take time. And I just have to try to shut off my brain until the school year begins. But I really REALLY wish there was some sort of Handbook for the Over-Anxious Parent that spelled out exactly what Carla and I do and when and how and why.

And of course I wish that she would just SLOW DOWN and stop growing so quickly. Although that would just give me more time to pre-fret, so maybe it’s okay that things are as they are.