I woke up very early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Instead of stressing (more) about all the holiday details that I have yet to complete, I thought I would get up and Do Something Productive… but my family is still asleep, so whatever Productive Thing I chose needed to be silent and that’s impossible. Our house, which I have grown to love, is extremely good at transmitting sound. My daughter went to bed after ten last night, so I want her to sleep as late as possible; my husband is just coming off a brutal call week, so I want him to sleep as late as possible. So I’m stuck doing silent things like sitting in my box-filled office and planning a complex cookie tray I neither have the time nor skill nor freezer space to complete. You may note that planning an imaginary cookie assortment is the opposite of Something Productive, but it is enjoyable.
If you also need a silent distraction this morning, or if you are wondering what to make for the Cookie Swap, perhaps you will join me in thinking about cookies.
Fancy assortments of cookies were a big part of my childhood. Several of my parents’ friends would create elaborate plates of mixed cookies and other confections and hand them around at Christmastime. I even seem to remember, some years, making cookies with my mother: gingerbread cutouts and stained glass cookies. A person in my circle makes a cookie plate every year and it sounds like a weekslong labor of love and intense labor. I’ve made small cookie plates on at least two occasions – with a handful of cookies that I made in a day or two – but I’ve never been one to make one of those works-of-art assortments.
Because I have never done a real cookie assortment, I read this fascinating blog post about how to put together a stunning arrangement. It was such an easy breezy post, it filled me with a completely false confidence in being able to do such a thing myself.
Images from the blogs linked below
If I were to make a cookie tray, I think it might include the following:
Basque Cheesecake Bars: My husband wanted to make a pumpkin swirl cheesecake for Thanksgiving, so I bought all the ingredients… but then we never got around to making it. These bars sound delicious, unusual, and they would make use of some of the piles of cream cheese clogging up my fridge. I think I would also swap out the graham cracker crust for gingersnap crust, since I bought gingersnaps for the cheesecake. Yes, always a good idea to make substitutions in a recipe you’ve never tried before.
Marbled Sugar Cookies: Carla was enthusiastic about participating in the cookie making, but I know she is really mostly interested in cutting out shapes and decorating cookies. These are super pretty and I think she’d have fun with them. Also, this sugar cookie has a cream cheese base, so I can continue chipping away at my stockpile of Philadelphia’s best.
Stained Glass Window Cookies: These are pretty and I think Carla would enjoy both smashing Jolly Ranchers into bits and creating stained glass masterpieces.
Chocolate Snickerdoodles: These are Carla’s all-time favorite cookie, and she requested that we make some. I think they are delicious, and there’s something about the combination of chocolate and cinnamon that is unique and wonderful. Plus, they will be a nice color/flavor change-up.
Zimtsterne: These gluten-free cinnamon star cookies are so yummy. They are made with almond meal and have a wonderful nutty flavor. My only issue with them is that I can never get the glaze to stay completely white.
Swirled Cookies: These are so vibrantly colorful, I want to make them immediately.
Cranberry Lemon Bars: I have been wanting to make these, and I think the lemon and cranberry will add a welcome burst of tartness to the cookie plate.
Chai Sugar Cookies with Eggnog Glaze: Yes, this cookie plate is already pretty heavy on the sugar cookies, but I think incorporating these chai cookies would add a fun new flavor to the mix. Plus, I have made these before and they are delicious.
Cream Cheese Stuffed Red Velvet Cookies: Oh yes, another cookie that will make use of all the cream cheese I have on hand! Plus, these just sound fun and different.
Now that all that pesky planning is done, the only thing that’s left to do is whip up all these cookies! I even already have the plates. (I got mine at the dollar store, but aren’t these cute?!)
What would you include on your own imaginary cookie plate?
Let me just say, for those people who have never tried blogging: It can be SO GOOD when it comes to a) motivating yourself to DO SOMETHING and b) finding lovely people who understand and commiserate and support. Yesterday’s fretful post really helped get my rear into gear, and every comment that came in felt like a warm hug. Thank you. Let’s do some gift-fret-free bullets, shall we?
It’s Beginning to Look a Teeny Weeny Bit Like Christmas: After yesterday’s post, I very firmly told my husband that we needed to finalize the gifts now. And then I proved to him, using the UPS cost estimation feature, that it would cost us three times as much in shipping costs to wait for amazon to deliver some items vs me going to an actual store and buying them and shipping them now. That turned out to be highly persuasive. We ended up getting both my MIL and my SIL some cozy pajamas. (After so many comments in favor, I wanted – badly – to get them each a towel warmer, but it wasn’t going to work with shipping to me and then wrapping and shipping to them. Then I thought, if I can’t get a towel warmer for my MIL and SIL, perhaps I can get one for my husband and/or child?!?! But our bathroom is really, really not conducive to having a towel warmer in it, so I am going to postpone that idea for another day.) Despite my many misgivings – we Santa got Carla the Uggs that are apparently this year’s Stanley tumbler/Kendra Scott necklace/Lululemon belt bag. I was able to march right over to the mall yesterday morning and buy everything right there. I also marched right over to the bookstore and bought the books that we had been dithering on ordering for several other gift recipients; one of the books was out of stock locally, but I pushed right through that little obstacle and bought an alternative.
Mail Call: I also addressed, stuffed, stamped and MAILED my holiday cards. Did I think I had ordered twenty more cards than I actually did? Yes. But no matter. I think I got everyone on the list. I had to go to the post office to acquire more stamps, and then stood there and stamped the remaining sixty or so stampless cards. While I was stamping, an older-than-me-but-not-demonstrably-elderly man came in, mailed something, and then started chatting at me. He wanted to know what I was mailing – both he and the postal worker first assumed “wedding invitations” which strikes me as slightly odd given the timing and also my advanced age, not that a person has to be the picture of youth to plan a wedding – and then told me how he had mailed sixty holiday cards just days before, and how a long line had piled up behind him because you can only slide two or three cards at a time through the mail slot. I kept waiting for him to tell me the punch line – that someone behind him finally pointed out he could open the little door beneath the slot and put in the whole stack – but he didn’t. I debated telling him myself – for future reference – but he went on to chat at me about how many fewer cards he sends these days than in the past, and then enumerated the (all sad) reasons, so it felt as though the moment had passed. This story doesn’t have any sort of moral; I just love it when people talk to me and I can just smile and nod. (Is this what it feels like to be Nicole????)
Surprise and Suspicion at the Post Office: I had heard (perhaps from you???) that some mail carriers aren’t accepting any mail at all that’s headed to Canada. So I was prepared to be told “no” when I requested some stamps for my Canadian card recipients. Instead, the postal worker said she didn’t see why a couple of small letters wouldn’t get through. Packages, no; definitely not. But a little ol’ holiday card? That was sure to sneak by! Then she sold me some stamps and I left the post office feeling very confused. I am 100% sure I don’t understand Canada’s mail strike that well, but Wikipedia tells me that Canada Post has requested that other countries stop sending mail to Canada at all. “Mail at all” has got to include holiday cards, right? So… I’m reluctant to put my cards in the mail, is what I’m saying. I am tempted… but if I did… what would happen to them?!?!
Cookie Swap, Anyone?: I realize that I mentioned the idea of having a blogland cookie swap, and then even made cookies, and then got so caught up in gift panic that I forgot all about it. But I would still like to do it! So: if YOU are interested in doing a blogland cookie swap (even if you don’t have a blog!)!!!! Please send a link to your cookie post and/or photos of your cookies to lifeofadoctorswife [at] gmail by midnight Eastern time on 12/20, and I will add a link to your blog and/or your photos to a post I will post BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I am happy to include any information you care to share about your cookies. A deadline of 12/20 should give me time to make MORE cookies. In addition to human cookies, by the way, Carla and I are planning to also make cookies for dogs. So that will be… something.
Let’s Wrap Things Up: In addition to finalizing my gift purchases and mailing the holiday cards, I have been wrapping gifts for the out-of-state relatives. I hate wrapping gifts. It is The Worst. I am not good at it – it requires an ability to cut straight lines, for one thing, and I do not have that ability. Unfortunately, my mother has inculcated in me the firm – no, the intense – belief that wrapping adds to the specialness of the gift receiving experience. As though the beauty of the gift wrap corresponds with the amount of love you feel for the person upon whom you are bestowing the gift. “I love you so much I will make bows out of flimsy paper.” Every time I wrap a gift, I try to do so with love in my heart. Love for the gift recipient, not for the scissors or the tape or the goddamn wrapping paper that never cuts straight. I try to make it as beautiful as I can because I feel like that helps add to the joy and anticipation of the gift portion of the holiday. And yet. When I am mailing so many gifts, I am well aware that the gift wrap is likely going to tear and the bows will get smushed and the whole effect is going to be less stunning than I want it to be and the people who receive these crumpled and ripped gifts are going to think I don’t love them at all. Anyway. I hate wrapping. It is stupid and wasteful and yet it is an essential facet of the gift exchange process and I CANNOT QUIT.
I have still not decorated anything at all! Perhaps that will change TODAY.
1. For Valentine’s Day, I made twokinds of cookies. I had some leftover scraps of dough, so I cut out little hearts and whipped up a strawberry buttercream frosting and made little sandwiches. They were cute and tasty. Then I added a few cookies to these adorable plates I found at the grocery store of all places and gave them to a couple of local friends.
My husband and I exchanged cards and candy and we got Carla a bunch of candy and a little pink bunny. (Side note: I happened to be near a Kohl’s recently and went in, remembering the luck I’d had finding stocking stuffers there. They had one tiny Valentine’s Day display and the rest of the holiday products were related to Easter. And not just bunnies — they had a strange array of large, weary-looking pigs, which seems a little odd for Easter. I mean, I would look weary if I were a stuffed animal on display in a Kohl’s too, that’s gotta be a hard job, but they were not particularly cute or cuddly and really seemed like they were counting the hours until they could clock out. I DID find one small, pink bunny and snapped it up.) Carla also cut out a bunch of paper hearts and stuck them all over the walls of the house. It was adorable and the hearts are still up and may remain for months.
2. A recent parent interaction has me feeling cranky. And ranty, just to warn you. I was at a school event and several of us were discussing various challenges our kids are having, as one does, and the topic turned to leaving our kids at home alone. I was struck, once again, by how adamant some people are that their way is The Only Way. The comments ran the spectrum from, “Oh my gosh, I would NEVER leave a kid that age alone!” to “There is NO REASON a kid that age can’t stay at home by themselves for reasonable periods of time.” With equal emphasis and near outrage.
I don’t know why, after nearly eleven years of being a parent, I am still surprised by people’s inability to consider the wide array of differences in our situations, upbringings, and specific children, but I guess I am. I’m guilty of it too – I still cringe, remembering how I’d mentioned to a friend that I OF COURSE make my child sit in the back seat because the American Pediatric Association says it’s best to have them sit in the backseat until age 13… and then she’d gently noted that her child is not yet 13 and sits in the passenger seat. Gah. When I KNOW that she is a wonderful, thoughtful parent and also know that MANY of my kid’s cohort sit in the front seat of their parents’ cars, for a wide variety of reasons I cannot begin to know because I am not them. (ALSO, lest you have a moment of panic about your own car-seating choices, the APA data on why age thirteen is a magical turning point for kids suddenly being safe to sit in the front seat is not super persuasive! I have read it!)
Okay – there are obviously some parenting choices that are less safe than others; if we’re talking about an infant in the front seat, that would be different; if we’re talking about a child riding in a car without restraints, that would be different. But there are SO MANY things that have NO SINGLE RIGHT WAY and yet some people seem incapable of understanding that there are many equally fine ways to do a thing.
This comes up every time I mention that my daughter needs melatonin to fall asleep. People have strong feelings about melatonin! As they should! And yet I have Reasons – and have carefully considered the angles and have consulted with multiple physicians and continually revisit whether it’s a good idea in our particular case for our particular child. It’s just so frustrating when someone says, “I would never give my kid melatonin” or “If she’s tired enough, she’ll fall asleep on her own” or “She clearly needs more physical activity during the day, that’ll help her sleep” as though they know.
And this happens with everything! I have had people scold me for allowing my child to wash her own hair. Does she do a great job? Not particularly. But am I weighing Other Factors? YES. The ways we judge one another are endless! Food – frequency, type, preparation. Buying clothing at Target vs upscale department stores. Bedtime. Age-appropriate chores/responsibilities. Sleepovers. Access to devices.
Screen time is a big one. For my particular kid, screens are a no-go on weekdays. There are REASONS for this. Do I despise screens? Not really, no. Would I love to be able to set her up with a TV show after school while I make dinner? Sure! Would it be much more convenient if I could say yes to her playing a video game after she does her homework? Definitely. BUT IT DOES NOT WORK FOR US. I have no concerns about YOUR family’s screen time choices. None! If your kid has unlimited screen time every day, I am sure that is a choice you made based on what’s best for your kid and your family. (Please note that I am aware too much screen time can have a negative impact on children. I am not advocating setting your three-year-old in front of a screen all day every day, although of course there are still probably Reasons someone might make that choice! Like if that is the only way you can work the job that allows you to feed your family or if you are so sick or pregnant you cannot do anything else or all sorts of other situations I know nothing about.) If you ask me about screen time for my kid, I am neither judging you for your own screen time limits nor inviting you to say, “Come on, an hour of Netflix after school isn’t going to hurt anyone.”
I know I cannot SOLVE this problem, and all I can do is surround myself with people who say things like, “This is what we have found works for us,” and who don’t make black-and-white accusatory statements about what I SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be doing without having all the information I am trying to balance, but I am SO SICK OF IT. Listen. I am not saying that I am completely free of judgment. We all judge one another, to some extent, because usually we think our choices are The Right Ones. But… I try really hard to acknowledge that we all have different value systems and different priorities and that, mostly, we are all trying our very best. Also, we can all judge one another SILENTLY. It is hard enough to be a parent, turning to other parents for support about choices that you have made based on Reasons but maybe you aren’t really sure are the BEST choices, as in my case with the melatonin, you are just doing the best you can with the information you have, without having someone who is not an expert, especially on YOUR CHILD, say you are Doing It Wrong.
Wow. I really got fired up about that. MOVING ON.
3. Accidental laundry efficiency hack? Laundry is my nemesis. I am pretty good about sorting the clothing into piles, and pretty good about putting the piles into the washing machine and washing them. I am less good about remembering to dry the freshly washed clothing, and then really terrible about folding the clothing. Yesterday, I had two loads of clean, dry laundry to fold and I was dreading it. I had a little more than twenty minutes before I needed to leave to pick up Carla from school and I just wanted to finish my book. So I made a deal with myself: I would set my timer for six minutes, and fold laundry until the timer went off. Then I would go read for fifteen minutes. Even a little progress on the laundry would make me feel better about it, I reasoned. Plus, sometimes if you get started on an onerous task, momentum will carry you through. I set my timer for six minutes, started folding… and FINISHED BOTH LOADS IN SIX MINUTES. How is that possible? In my head, folding laundry takes HOURS. But two loads took six minutes! (To be fair, I don’t fold all of Carla’s clothes, because a lot of them hang up in her closet. Also, I only put away my own laundry – my husband and Carla ostensibly move their clothes from my bed to their own drawers/hangers.) It was an astonishing and bolstering discovery. Has this new knowledge prompted me to fold the clean and dry load of laundry that is currently hanging out in the dryer? No, it has not.
4. How about a little mid-February giveaway? Amazon has issued me a refund for a product I did not return.I ordered a book and have not returned it; it’s right next to me as I type this. Nor have I returned anything else. And yet I got an email from Amazon saying they had processed my refund. I would like to pay for a product I received and kept, so I looked online at my options… and the only option I found (“cancel my return”) simply took me in a loop back to the returns page. I was able to chat with an associate, and they said I could keep the item. Seems like the perfect excuse to do a little giveaway. I have $14.40 in money that I should not have, which is the perfect amount for a paperback book that you’ve been meaning to read for a few years but haven’t gotten around to. If you want the chance to get a free paperback book, and are willing to share your address with me, let me know in the comments what backlist book you would order. I will randomly choose someone and send them the book of their choice, compliments of Amazon. Unfortunately, I will only be able to include US readers in this mini giveaway, which is a huge bummer. But if you are from outside the US, I am still interested in whatever backlist book you have been meaning to read but haven’t gotten to yet. Let’s say this giveaway is open until midnight on Monday, February 19 or until Feedly decides to say I wrote this post, whichever comes LAST.
5. I am suffering from home maintenance burnout. This past fall, when we moved to our new house, we had to do so many things, some elective, others more urgent… and I grew so very weary of all of them. But that doesn’t mean we are DONE with the home maintenance issues. I feel like they continue to pile up. This includes things I knew about last year that I intentionally put off until the spring (getting a tree cut back, finding a pool person, getting our air ducts cleaned, looking into the carpenter bees issue with our roof) as well as things that have cropped up in the interim (some electrical issues, a leak in our furnace, also our furnace is making a weird noise, our doorbell is caput). But I am having such a mental block to doing the things. Maybe if I write about it here, the guilt and self-consciousness will spur me to schedule at least one of them? Maybe I need to apply my laundry efficiency hack to making home maintenance phone calls, somehow? (Except they always drag on so much longer than they should, and require research and multiple phone calls and visits. This is part of the problem.)
That’s all I have for today, Internet. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
