One of my worst habits is picking up my phone when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning. Last night, I opened up my email to see a 30% off offer from Athleta, which is irresistible because I love their athleisure. (I still don’t know if it’s pronounced Ath-leh-tuh, like “lettuce” or Ath-LEE-tuh, like “athlete.” I want very badly for it to be the latter, but I don’t know.) I already have so many pairs of high-rise leggings, but they are so comfy… and maybe one more pair would ease the emptiness in my soul, especially in the dark green, and especially if I also get this matching sweatshirt.
Okay, I’m just kidding. My soul is full of (mainly) love and light. But I do sometimes get into that mindset of This One Specific Thing Will Fix Me.
Speaking of which, I cannot stop thinking about this sweatshirt.
I saw it in person when I was doing a little light shopping with a friend while our kids were at an event. A person in my circle happened to be in the same store and was chatting with us while I perused the clothing. When I held up this sweatshirt and said, mostly joking, “I think I need an après ski sweatshirt,” she said, “No, no one needs that.” in what I can only call a Tone of Intense Derision. DO I need this sweatshirt? No, I most certainly do not. And yet my reaction to her comment was one of visceral opposition and defiance. I managed to tamp it down in the moment – again, I do not need this sweatshirt – but I still want the sweatshirt, and more so after I was scolded about it. It’s probably not financially wise to buy things out of spite, though.
You know what is the opposite of spiteful? Holiday cards. How about that masterful segue, huh??? I have said it many times but holiday cards are my favorite thing about the season. I would forego all gifts in a hot second, but I would never want to give up exchanging holiday cards.
This year, there seem to be far fewer cards on my wall than in years past, when they have wrapped around the entire perimeter of the kitchen. This is slightly concerning. Obviously my main worry is that I have been blacklisted from people’s holiday card lists, for reasons unbeknownst to me. When the more likely scenario is that a) cards are expensive and b) stamps are HELLA expensive and c) Thanksgiving was late this year, so I think some people are late in sending out their cards. I only just got my last few cards into the mail yesterday, so I clearly don’t have a leg to stand on. More cards will arrive, and I will leave them up until my husband gets annoyed enough by their presence to badger me into taking them down.
His big concern with my tendency to stick cards on the walls is that the sticky tack I use won’t come off. I have always pooh poohed that fear because it always comes off. But… last year I may have left the cards up a wee bit too long… and some of the sticky tack may have pulled off a wee bit of paint. Whoopsie. This year I am using a different brand, one that is also nearer the grey of our paint.
If you were concerned that my husband’s stocking was going to be woefully empty compared to everyone else’s, allow me to lay your fears to rest. Last night, we went to Barnes & Noble on our date night, as we do, and he spent a long time examining this book. He doesn’t usually read books in print, because of limited time, but he was seriously considering this one. It has an intriguing premise, and it’s smallish (just over 200 pages) and it has a visual element that is unusual and appealing. He looked it up on Goodreads and told me that the author’s previous book was more highly rated, but, alas, not available in the store. So during my middle-of-the-night non-sleeping, I ordered the previous book for him, along with a book of dad jokes (he’d also spent quite a lot of time lingering over a dad jokes calendar, and he loves telling dad jokes, and this book can be delivered before Christmas so it was an easy add-on). Now I am REALLY DONE BUYING THINGS.
While a lot of people, I expect, will spend this weekend baking wonderful treats and going to holiday parties, I am planning to spend my weekend TIDYING. The Christmas decor, which I love, is already beginning to close in on me. There’s the tree, which takes up space, and the necessity of moving one of the armchairs into the piano room, which makes that room crowded (there’s STILL an old couch in there as well) (also we got a concrete coffee table for the sunroom and that’s in the piano room too). Plus there is detritus on every surface – like a tin of peppermints from someone at my husband’s office, and the replacement Hanukkah pajamas I mentioned in my last post, still in their bag, and a plate of Christmas cookies, and some gift receipts, and a winter-themed tie someone gave my husband, and the two holiday letters I received from friends that I have read but am not ready to discard yet – in addition to the normal random assortment of glasses and water bottles and cat fur and tweenager flotsam and mail. Of course, there are also BOXES EVERYWHERE (the instant I break down a box and put it into the recycling bin, another box appears) because the cat loves boxes, and he also loves the brown packing paper that comes in the boxes (his version of “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things” would just be “brown paper packages, brown paper packages, brown paper packages” on repeat), and he loves to leap on the packing paper and tear it with his teeth and leave little crumbs of paper everywhere.
The Instagram algorithm, intuiting my Christmas claustrophobia, served me a video of an advice vlogger answering someone’s question about Christmas with her mother-in-law. The gist was that the writer-inner’s mother-in-law had decreed that Christmas was over at noon on Christmas Day, and so promptly at noon she started putting away all the Christmas décor, and insisted the writer-inner help. It took them five hours to put away all the ornaments and lights and the tree, and the writer-inner was upset that THAT was how she’d spent her first Christmas with her new husband and his family. She was anticipating the same thing this year, and wanted help from the advice giver.
Oh, how deeply do I empathize with the mother-in-law! I, too, reach a point at which I am simply Done with Christmas, and when I get there, I want it all to be whisked away immediately. This is one of the reasons that I refuse to decorate for Christmas before December 1. I want to enjoy the decorations, not feel stifled by them. I do typically leave them up until at least New Year’s Day, though. Even if I’m gritting my teeth by the end.
By the way, the advice given was a) see if you can change the holiday arrangement so that you spend Christmas Eve with the in-laws and Christmas Day with your family, rather than swapping every-other-Christmas Day with each family and, if that’s a no-go, b) simply agree that Christmas ends at noon on Christmas Day, and depart the in-laws’ house at that time. I don’t know about how this would go over with your family, but I just cannot imagine doing either of these things with my family of origin or my in-laws. Our families don’t even swap Christmases that often! But if we did, the swap would need to be Exactly Even. And I also cannot imagine simply opting out of what sounds like a family tradition of putting Christmas away, even if it SUCKED. But then again, I am not always the greatest at setting boundaries so maybe the advice giver has it right.
Anyway, I am going to spend this weekend tidying as much as I possibly can (GOODBYE, latest crop of boxes!), and doing laundry, and giving myself a clean-if-cluttered slate from which to begin two weeks of family togetherness.
I am also going to try out a new hair crème, which I discovered after Instagram presumed (rightly!) that I would be interested in something called “glass hair.” None of my efforts at improving my skin with expensive products have worked, but surely I can have the hair of my dreams if I just buy This One Specific Hair Crème. (I had a gift card.)
Oh, do I feel you on the spite-buying! I would have been in the same place mentally, thinking, well, now I _really_ need the sweatshirt.
If you want another Christmas card, I would be happy to send you one of mine, which has pictures of a certain kitty on it…said kitty is currently napping next to a blanket, because why nap on the blanket when you can nap on the tabletop instead. Unless that 2026 calendar is far more comfortable than it looks?
I would LOVE another card, but I don’t have any left with which to reciprocate! Could we do an email card exchange instead, and then maybe next year try for the real thing?
Glad I am not the only one with spite-buying tendencies, lol.
Ecard, yes, fun, I will send!
Ah, Frenemy strikes again! Normally spite buying is not recommended, but when it’s an Apres Ski Club sweatshirt I think we can make an exception.
Hmm…should I order the Dad Jokes book for a certain someone in my life? Pondering…
Yet another difference between cats and dogs. Every box and every bit of brown packing paper is a nap spot and a toy to a cat, but these items are Things to Eat to a dog.
Keep us posted on Operation Glass Hair!
Like, WHAT was the opposition to the sweatshirt?! It is cute.
I am probably the wrong person to ask about last minute gifts, because I will always hiss “yessssssssssss, buy it” into your ear. (Yessssssssssss, buy it.)
The way I did not even finish the SENTENCE, let alone the post, before I’d ordered that Strange Houses book for Paul—and then I went back to resume reading the post, and had to place a separate order for the first book. And then read more of the post and ALMOST placed a third order for the dad jokes book.
We have fewer cards than usual, too. I think you’re onto something with either the expense or late Thanksgiving. And MY cards are only about half mailed, so a lot of them will be arriving after Christmas.
We are putting our tree up today and taking it down some time before New Year’s, to reduce the amount of time the cats have to figure out how to tear it down. North sprayed all the mantel decorations with essential orange oil and it actually worked. When Willow got a whiff, she not only left the mantel but she ran out of the room, so we will apply it liberally to the tree area.
I’m so glad to hear you coin the term “Christmas Claustrophobia.” I put up Christmas rather late (and never before Thanksgiving), but it begins to feel like clutter and disintegrating detritus long before New Year. (Everything HAS to go back in bins before then!) I’m not grinchy! I love all the other parts like family and food and gifts! I think it might be because I quite maximalist to start with, so every extra bit feels de trop.
I haven’t sent out our cards yet… Perhaps other people have my inertia too.
I love how your house is filled with such great light!
Cards…not in the cards for the majority of my list this year. I think I sent four. Maybe next year.
I would have so marched that sweatshirt straight to the counter and bought it in front of her. Why are people so judgy? I assume any sweatshirt would not have been in her wheelhouse.
I also am usually done with Christmas decor by the time Christmas rolls around and am ready to re-claim my space. But I’m not a Christmas-is-over-at-noon-Nazi. Holy cow! That woman’s mother in law is over the top!
That sweatshirt has the accent mark going the wrong way. As a retired French teacher, I could never wear it! 🙂 I’m ready to take down my decorations on Xmas Day but I don’t. My late husband wanted them up until the New Year, but that was too close to when I went back to school. (and guess who got stuck doing all the un-decorating?) We compromised on the issue. So, I usually put my house into non-holiday mode on the 26th or 27th. I do New Year’s cards and enjoy making them (Shutterfly) and sending them out. However, I’m definitely getting way fewer cards, especially this year. 🙁
I’m sorry but what kind of person asks for her daughter in law to put Christmas away. That’s not a joyful job at all. I can see the letter writer’s dismay over the situation. I would be opting the hell out of that with zero guilt. And I’m not great at boundaries at times but taking down christmas on Christmas Day is just a bridge too far!! Surely it could wait until the 26th? That is just not at all festive. I understand being totally over the decorations at some point but that is whacko!! Also I have a set way of putting things away so I would not want help with the chore. I wish I could get help but it’s best for me to handle that task. We don’t put up lot of decorations so I am ok with them staying up until mid-January, mostly because I need the glow of our tree for as long as possible. We don’t have to arrange furniture to make it fit, though. We did move some toys downstairs and now I am hoping they stay in the basement henceforth!
We do not evenly split the holidays at all but my MIL is a widow so she gets Christmas. Last year and this year we went to my parents the weekend after Christmas but that is not always the case. We don’t take time off around the holidays as it’s a busy time at work for my husband and neither of us has any desire to split the holiday and spend one day with one side and the other with the other. I am 1 of 5 and at least 2 other siblings spend Christmas with my parents so I am not ‘needed’. Plus celebrating with my MIL means she comes to our house. We attend a super fun family gathering on Christmas Eve that is the highlight of the holiday for all of us and then we have a quiet Christmas with my MIL. The key part is that she stays at our house in our guest room and the rest of us sleep in our own beds. Hurrah! I am not sure what the sleeping arrangements are at my parents this year. All 5 of us will be home which is (… carrying the one) 23 people!! They have 2 extra cabins for the weekend but it will still be a lot of people… excuse me while I go breath into a paper bag… ok I’m back. I fear all 4 of us will be in 1 one. But my sleep is so awful as is, so I guess I’ve been training for this for months. But I will get to see my little sister and cuddle her baby and the kids are thrilled to see their cousins. I WILL be consuming sav blanc, in case you were wondering. LOL.
I actually think you DO need that sweatshirt, I think you need it badly, and I think you need it now. I find that kind of derision about something fun like a sweatshirt VERY HARD to take. It’s a sweatshirt. Technically none of us need anything at all, but I think we all can agree that a sweatshirt is a practical item, and as such it needs a little whimsy to bring joy into the world. GAH. People! Why???? are they LIKE THAT.
I also agree that it is ath-LEE-ta.
Hooooooo boy. I mean, okay, it’s the MIL’s house but. Could this not all happen on Boxing Day? Luckily my in-law(s) and my parents live ten hours drive apart so there was never any thought to swapping Christmases or whatever. But wow, the holidays can be so fraught, and I think often about how to be when/ if I am in the privileged place of being a MIL myself. It’s family TRADITION to clean the house on Christmas Day? That just seems sad to me, even if the clutter has gotten a person down. Just wait half a day more. Imagine telling your brand-new DIL that she needs to help pack away ornaments. That is wild. But then for me Christmas Day is all about eating and getting low-key drunk, so what do I know, obviously my priorities are different.
This made me smile! You are such a delight, and I love the idea of buying something out of spite! That’ll show your friend!
Such a strong judgmental statement about a sweatshirt seems uncalled for. I’m with you on starting to feel that my house is untidy and cluttered. The Christmas tree is lovely but does take up a lot of space and make it difficult to run my robot vacuum. I did some cleaning last night and will be making my kids clean their rooms with my help today.
My family of origin doesn’t really celebrate Christmas so we always go to my in laws who we live within a few hours drive. The Christmas Eve idea sounds like a good suggestion to me since decades of spending 5 hours putting away someone else’s Christmas decorations sounds daunting.
That is also why I can’t decorate too early: I get so sick of it and want it gone on Christmas Day, but I don’t undecorate on Christmas Day because I’m a sane person. (kinda) That MIL is a sick person and I can’t imagine her making her DIL do that on their first Christmas!
I was at Barnes and Noble yesterday, and I almost bought the Dad Jokes calendars for both of my SILs. I’m still thinking about them….
Aside from the accent going the wrong way, the sweatshirt is cute. What is this woman’s damage?
I’m a little horrified about taking decorations down at noon on Christmas Day. I mean, Noon? It’s still the middle of Christmas Day! Perhaps they are a Christmas Eve family? I do understand the urge to declutter the house, though. I start to hate it all by about the 28th, and we don’t decorate until about Dec 10th. We usually take everything down on 1/1.
Oh Lenny, I wish I could send you some empty boxes without making your mom break out in hives over THE CLUTTER.
Off topic, but I love the color of the walls and the white furniture in the photo where I presume we are supposed to be paying attention to the box and the packaging strewn across the floor. Note: I can rarely show photos of my house and I don’t have a cat that likes boxes . . . but everything is a mess always and we are hosting on Dec. 25th and on Dec. 27th.
The taking decor down on Christmas Day sounds dreadful.
I need to come up with a better system, so that I have an official ENOUGH end time/date for when I stop buying/adding gifts to what I’ve already bought. There was a time when I was better/more organized, but the kids were little then, and they all lived here and I knew what they wanted. *this is not that time*
Buy that sweatshirt!
May I say that the color of the walls of your… living room? Sitting room? THE BLUE. It’s gorgeous! It is really eye popping and now I want to spend all day in this room!
I always think I will wait until Jan 1 to start putting Christmas away, but it’s CHRISTMAS DAY and I’m already anticipating starting to take down Christmas tomorrow. Maybe this is why I put it up so early – I know I’m going to want to take it down on Dec 26 so I need to get more mileage out of it. Ha!