The other day, Carla had a very specific request for dinner: “May I please have a bowl of white [iceberg] lettuce and a separate bowl of [shredded] cheese and another bowl of tomatoes so that I can put them together and make a salad?”
Sure, child. Why not.
I mentioned a while back that we are trying to increase Carla’s calcium intake. And by “we” I mean “me” because my husband seems wholly unconcerned by the issue. Not in an “I’m a Physician and Am Unworried” way, but in a “this is not my problem” way ARGH. And a teeny bit in a Thwarting Efforts way. My father (ALSO a physician) suggested we simply give Carla some Tums (calcium carbonate) and so I suggested to my husband that he grab a roll of Tums next time he was at the grocery store. He said a) we already have Tums at home and when I brightened and said “Oh! We can give Carla those!” he said no, that those Tums were for acid reflux. Blink. Blink blink.
All of this is to say that I am continually working on getting more calcium into Carla.
Smoothies, as I think I mentioned before, seemed like the perfect vehicle. Especially considering that Carla likes smoothies, and dislikes most other things.
But there have been two problems.
- She hasn’t been in the mood for smoothies. Almost every day I say, “You’re going to have a smoothie for breakfast!” and she says, “No.” And then I argue with her a little bit, and make pleading noises about calcium intake, and she remains firm, and I give up. Because I am not going to waste a smoothie on her when she is clearly going to Stand Firm. And I get it! I like… chili, but I don’t want to eat it every day. If you told me chili had specific life-extending properties, I would still have a hard time drumming up enough enthusiasm to eat it every day. So I get it. I do. But also: JUST DRINK A SMOOTHIE.
- Smoothies do not contain as much calcium as I think. I made one for her with 1/4 cup of yogurt, 1/2 cup almond milk, 1/2 cup calcium-fortified orange juice, and 1 cup frozen mango chunks. That makes a LARGE cup of smoothie. And it contains about 40% of a person’s daily calcium. Sigh. It’s a big swoop forward on the calcium-intake-o-meter, but it’s not even halfway, and HOW do I get the rest of the way EVERY DAY?
I wonder if I could mix Carnation Instant Breakfast (200 mg calcium per packet) into her smoothies?
I found a recipe for frozen yogurt treats that I might try. I broached the idea to Carla and she was a little suspicious, but it would be worth trying at least. Maybe I could mix some Carnation Instant Breakfast into some yogurt and pipe it onto cookie sheets and freeze it? I may give it a try.
I have been Googling like crazy, but the food sources of calcium seem to have so little (50 mg here, 125 mg there – and that’s for a FULL serving of foods she DOESN’T EAT), that it seems impossible to get them to add up to 1300 mg per day. And there is a lot of pooh-poohing of calcium supplements. I get it. I understand that most vitamins don’t have a whole lot of calcium anyway, and that you need to be taking Vitamin D as well so that you can properly absorb your calcium. But it would be really useful to just give Carla a chewable something and be done with it. There are Reasons that I don’t want to get the Viactiv chews (650 mg calcium per chew), but maybe I need to get past them.
I know I tend to catastrophize. I know I do that. But I keep picturing Carla as an adult, with bones that shatter at the least provocation, and her wan little face asking the heavens, “Why, God, why did my mother not force me to get enough calcium when I was small? Why?”
Now I understand why my parents were so adamant about me drinking a FULL GLASS of milk every day. (A cup of milk is only 300 mg!)
I’d honestly go with the Tums and call them her special sweets. Short term fix maybe whilst you work on the other avenues as well?!
I have one who likes milk (elder) and another who refuses it except in coffee and who drinks almond milk reluctantly (younger). They both eat cheese, but though I worry about calcium, too, for the younger one, I haven’t done the math. I think it would be too depressing.
May I ask what your reservations are regarding the Viactiv Calcium Chews? Is it that they have sugar?
I have a kiddo who doesn’t eat a ton of protein, so we started giving him Fairlife chocolate milk (it has more protein) AND a cup is 30% of the calcium RDA. My kids also LOVE spinach and kale in other things (smoothies, baked goods, etc.) BUT I really think she’s fine– most kids, even the ones with awful diets and parents who aren’t worried about RDAs are mostly fine. For me, the most important thing is making sure food is not an Issue– everything else is second to that.
Just curious why you don’t like viactiv? If you get Tums, get the smoothie kind, they taste better.
Curious if you actually have had her tested or if she is showing specific signs of calcium deficiency? Perhaps for her size and weight she is actually doing okay with the foods she does eat?
Does Carla know she needs calcium? I know this is a weird question but is there a gentle non-scary way to tell her that she needs calcium food for strong bones, and these are her options, and would she like to help you figure it out? I don’t know if that would work or not, but maybe? Also I agree with Sally on “special sweets” as a stopgap measure.
Both of my stepsons went through phases where 90% of their diets was chocolate frosted mini wheat cereal and cheese sticks and they acted like we were the crazy ones for suggesting that they mix it up a bit. Once again I don’t have a solution but I can definitely relate to the situation;-)
You know, I feel like I did not get much calcium as a child since I hated milk and I turned out fine, I think? I had a bone density test done when I was dx’d with RA and it didn’t show any issues. So you might be worrying more than is necessary? Or you could ask her pediatrician? I know your dad is a doctor so his thoughts are certainly valid but you might be stressing more than need be?
The Viactiv chews are easier to get down than Tums in my opinion. I gag when I try to chew a tums. I wasn’t a milk drinker at all as a child and at 66 have good bone density results. (also a function of weight bearing exercise)
I love the chocolate covered yogurt bars in the fridge section. I think they are by Clio. They are like a little treat. Filled with Greek yogurt, but they taste great.
Mini’s best friend broke her wrist 3 summers in a row when she was younger. Not sure if she had a lack of calcium but it stunk for her to miss so much of summer fun while casted. Maybe a story like that is too doom and gloom to share with a child?
My kids all loved milk and yogurt and cheese so I’m afraid I am not much help. Mini is still such a milk lover that her prom date referenced milk in his prom-posal.
I don’t have much too offer in the way of a solution as mine loved milk. I would think though that as long as she is getting SOME calcium she will be fine.
I would be wary about supplements because I’ve heard they can be hard on your digestive system.
I know you said she doesn’t even like chocolate milk – but what about strawberry milk? My other meager suggestions – yogurt covered raisins/pretzels? Does she like hot chocolate? If so, she might like warmed milk (weird, I know but mine used to get a warm milk beverage at a local coffee shop that he viewed as a treat). Can you incorporate yogurt into some of your recipes? That might be a way to sneak in a bit more calcium. I just Googled yogurt desserts – there are some yummy looking options that she might eat.
The more you push her to get calcium, the more she will push back; I think. It might be better to sneak it in where you can. Only you know whether or not that might be the case; as obviously, we only know Carla through what you share.
When my daughter was younger and needed to gain weight quickly, I made her milkshakes that consisted of 1/2 pint of chocolate ice cream, a banana, and a carnation breakfast drink. If your daughter doesn’t need to gain weight, perhaps you could make her a shake with the breakfast drink, frozen banana (slice it first, then freeze it), and just regular milk? It might feel like a treat. Overall I agree with the commenters who said that it’s probably not too big of a deal, for her size she may actually be getting the right amount. I don’t think too much calcium is a good thing either. Oh, we tried the calcium chews, and for some reason they made my daughter sick to her stomach. Sigh. Hang in there!
I can’t remember: Was this something her doctor brought up or was it just something your FIL said? I guess I don’t know if this is something you need to fret over so much unless her doctor has said she needs more calcium. I think doing a calcium chew would be a fine option, especially one that might be yummy to her.
Mmh, I am surprised your Dad emphasizes the importance of calcium. Are there other deficiencies he’s concerned about in Carla? I am assuming, he knows about her challenging eating habits.
Of course, it would be good to get all your minerals and vitamins through food, but sometimes a supplement is necessary. I also agree with Lisa: could you talk with Carla and explain the importance of calcium and figure it out with her together?