Year end round up

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2022 Round-Up-a-Rama

It’s time for my annual year-end recap! 

(If you’re so inclined, you can read past versions of my responses: 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 
2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009. This yearly recap originated with Linda of All & Sundry.)

I feel such tenderness for Last Year Me, who was feeling “down, down, down” at the end of last year. This year, I feel the exact opposite. I feel fulfilled in so many ways, so happy, so content. So full of plans and hope for the year ahead. It’s the end of a week at home with my two favorite people, and three days of our joint holiday to go. Christmas is still up, and – while I’m itching to dismantle it – it doesn’t feel oppressive just yet. I’ve been contemplating 2023 plans, but just in an idle, cheerful way. Things are good. I feel so grateful. It’s such a difference from the past couple of years, where I was mainly exhausted and stressed fearful about what new devastation lay in store. I do not take this period of calm and contentedness for granted. Instead, I am soaking it up, reveling in it, all too aware of how swiftly life can change.

Let’s take a look back at 2022. 

One change to note: In years past, I left in the original questions even if I ignored them. This year, I am deleting them entirely. Buh-bye, old irrelevant-to-my-life questions I do not want to answer. 

  • What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?
    • Began querying agents.
    • Took an online writing class (about querying). 
    • Went on a family road trip across the United States.
    • Posted every day in November for NaBloPoMo! 
    • Tried acupuncture.
  • Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

As is my newish tradition, I made some gentle aspirations for the year. Out of 22 things I hoped to accomplish, I completed half. Well, there’s always next year! 

  • How old were you on your birthday and what did you do? I turned 41 in February, ordered my own cake (which turned out to be a disappointment), and spent a lovely evening with my husband and daughter. I am sure it involved Mexican takeout and books, because those are two of my favorite things.

  • Where did you travel this year?

My husband and daughter and I made two trips this year, but we visited many states! Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Ohio, South Dakota, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

  • What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

Re-upping one of my major wishes from last year: I would like to have an agent in 2023. This is part luck and part grit, and I need to supply the grit. 

  • What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I absolutely loved our road trip in June of 2022. It was so fabulous. Two weeks in the car with my husband and daughter, and we had fun and saw parts of the country we’d never seen and listened to audiobooks and good music and just generally had a fabulous time.

  • What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Beginning the querying process.

  • What was your biggest failure?

Not finishing either of the new manuscripts I started! I need to work on follow through in 2023!

  • Did you suffer illness or injury?

My husband and I both got Covid during the tail end of our road trip. Womp womp. 

  • What was the best thing you bought?

My new laptop! I kept insisting to my husband that I didn’t need a new one; my old laptop worked perfectly fine. But it really didn’t work perfectly fine and it was slow and the keys were sticky and the lack of memory was a real bother. I am very glad he pushed me to get a new one.

  • What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Our road trip! My parents moving here! 

  • What song(s) will always remind you of 2022?

(Most of these are from our road trip – we listened to a bunch of songs on repeat in the car.)

I Love U by the Chainsmokers

Ojitos Lindos by Bad Bunny (feat. Bomba Estereo)

As It Was by Harry Styles

Ghost by Justin Bieber

The Turning Red soundtrack

The Winnie the Pooh soundtrack

I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow) by Fleetwood Mac

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush

  • What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing (evergreen item). Exercising. Eating vegetables. Spending time outdoors. Date nights. Game nights. Agent queries.

  • What do you wish you’d done less of?

Mindless scrolling on my phone. Feeling sorry for myself about my feet. Dwelling in a pit of self-abnegation.

  • How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas was just me, my husband, and my daughter this year. But it was perfect. We slept in until 7:30 and then opened wonderful, thoughtful presents from our family. We made cotton candy. We FaceTimed with parents and siblings. We had Monopoly spread out on the kitchen table and a puzzle half completed on the dining room table, so we ate delicious, delicious steak and mashed potatoes and Caesar salad on our laps in front of the TV. Fabulous and cozy and wonderful.

  • What was your favorite (new) TV program?

I did a lot more reading than TV-watching in 2022, which I’m not mad about. My husband and I did watch some TV, though! We really enjoyed the second season of The White Lotus and the most recent season of Stranger Things. We loved Severance – such a creepy, interesting mashup of horror and sci-fi. Bad Sisters was fantastic, riveting television – I can’t believe I haven’t read more about it! We loved Yellowjackets and can’t wait for the next season. We also enjoyed House of the Dragon, despite how horribly violent it is; what can I say, I am a sucker for dragons. I don’t know if I can say that I “loved” The Bear but it was certainly impossible not to watch. Archive 81 was really good until the very ending. We recently started Jack Ryan and are enjoying that so far, too.

By myself, I watched the latest season of Never Have I Ever and continue to absolutely adore that show. I am also re-watching Seinfeld and Schitt’s Creek and still love them both.

With Carla, we started watching Junior Bake Off and Snack vs. Chef, which are fun and light and low-stakes. 

To jog my memory, I looked at a bunch of Best Of TV lists, and wow there is so much fabulous TV available that I haven’t watched! 

  • What was the best book you read?

I read 86 books this year, mostly thrillers, and there were so many fabulous books. I think Station Eleven gets top billing for me, though. It was so well-written and so different and so perfectly paced. I just loved it. (I posted all of my top books of 2022 on the book blog.)

  • What was your favorite film of this year?

As usual, I cannot remember watching any movies this year… I know I was interested in watching the newest Top Gun movie, even though Tom Cruise skeeves me out. But my husband had no interest so I didn’t. He and I planned to watch the Knives Out sequel over the break, but haven’t done that yet. Oh! I watched Spirited, a Christmas Carolian movie starring Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds and I really enjoyed it despite being very weary of Christmas Carol stories and also really disliking musicals. Carla and I watched Turning Red about a million times, and that was okay. Did we watch anything else? 
Anything at all? I have this very strong memory of being in a movie theatre, but cannot for the life of me recall what we saw. Oh well. 

Oh right! We went to see the latest iteration of the Jurassic World movies, as a birthday surprise for Carla! It was… okay. 

Edited to add: Carla and my husband and I stayed up to watch the ball drop, and while we were waiting we watched two movies. The first was Glass Onion with a star-studded cast. It had some adult themes, that hopefully mostly went over Carla’s head. It was fun and funny and frothy and light (despite being murder-y). Then Carla and I watched the new Matilda musical, which was fabulous. The lead actor was amazing as Matilda, and the casting for Agatha Trunchbull and Jenny Honey was superb. The novel was a favorite of mine when I was a kid and lives large in my head to this day, and the actors chosen to portray these fabulous characters did a wonderful job.

  • What did you want and get?

We got to go on our family ski trip in March, which was fabulous.

We got to travel to celebrate my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary and see my brother and sister-in-law. 

My parents are going to move to my state!! I am so excited that it is finally happening in 2023! 

My ceiling is now repaired! (And the repair person is now out of my house, which was an added bonus.)

  • What did you want and not get?

An agent. A solution to my plantar fasciitis. To visit my childhood home, which I got in a literal sense but not in an emotional sense.

  • What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Finishing my second manuscript and getting an agent. Pain-free feet. That’s three things, but I’m leaving it.

  • How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

I am all about the soft pants, as I have been for the past several years. But I did wear more hard pants than I have since 2019. I think my concept was “feel cute but dress the body I have.” It worked for the most part, although I would really like a pair of jeans whose waistline doesn’t sag throughout the day.

  • What kept you sane?

Same as last year: My husband. My terrible, wonderful, unputdownable phone. Books and audiobooks. Carbs. Wine. Reading your blog posts. Long walks. Takeout. Writing here.

  • Who did you miss?

We had such a wonderful family-centric year this year. I felt closer to my family of origin than I have in… decades, maybe? I got to see my parents FOUR TIMES this year, which is unheard of. And I saw my brother and sister-in-law TWICE! Before this year, I hadn’t seen them since 2018! My in-laws visited multiple times, and for reasons of fun rather than reasons of medical treatment which removed a level of worry and stress from their visits. We will continue to see at least my mother-in-law once a quarter. We got to see my sister-in-law and niece twice, which was fabulous. I got to see my childhood best friend for the first time in… five years? Six? So I am delighted and grateful to say that I didn’t do a lot of missing this year. I do, of course, miss the friend I lost in 2019; I will always miss her. I am also missing a friendship that has taken on a new, more distant quality in the past few months.  

  • Who was the best new person you met?

While I didn’t meet anyone new in person (that I can recall, at least), I have met so many wonderful blog friends this year! I wanted to list you all, but it’s funny: I cannot recall how long we’ve known each other. Did we really just meet this year? Or have we been friends all along?

  • Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022.

Connection, even for (especially for?) an introvert, is so valuable. Sometimes it can be stressful. But it is mood boosting and life sustaining and supportive and necessary. I was so, so fortunate this year to see friends and family more than I had in years. I was so grateful for the connections I built with you, through this blogging community. I was so incredibly lucky to spend so much time alone with my wonderful little family, together and individually. Because I enjoy my solitude, and because I am so socially awkward and anxious, too much togetherness makes me retreat into myself. But there is balance to be had, and the memories and affirmation and intimacy and personal uplift that come from making time for one another – online and in person – are worth the small downsides. I am all too aware just how precious life is, just how fleeting our time together on this planet. I want to remember how simple and gratifying it can be to make the effort to connect.

  • Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“I love you.” – The Chainsmokers 

Happy New Year, dear ones! I adore you and hope 2023 has great things in store for each of us.

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2021 Round Up-a-Rama

Here is where I am at the end of 2021: down, down, down.

After a year of prolific reading, I find myself unable to lose myself in a book. My comforting morning ritual of drinking tea has deserted me. Carla is about to embark on another round of remote learning – this time, with unknown duration (could be five days! could be more!). Christmas, instead of being a cheery time of fun gifts and family togetherness, was utterly draining. I have been summoned for jury duty; I was able to postpone it, due to remote learning, which is good, but now I have MONTHS to fret about the logistical nightmare of the whole thing, not to mention the idea of being in the giant jury room with dozens of other humans who may or may not be masked or vaccinated. And I am sunk deeper into a pit of self-doubt and -castigation than I ever have been before.

It’s wishful thinking to imagine that a year that held a lot of great things would end on a high note. And it’s naïve to think that a simple shift of the calendar will resolve any of these things. So here is where I am.

There are good things, too, of course. It was lovely to see my parents over Christmas. My husband’s call schedule was light toward the end, so our Christmas festivities were hardly disrupted. He is on vacation this week, so he and Carla and I have been having a quiet, pleasant time doing quiet, homey things like cleaning the basement, playing video games, and eating junk. We got a TON of holiday cards. (I think our card wall looks much fuller than in previous years, but my husband says he thinks we get this many cards every year.) (We received about 45 cards this year, so maybe next year I will remember to count.) While it seems as though everyone in the world currently has Covid, we have still, somehow, by pure luck, managed to avoid it. (SO FAR.) I am aware of my many blessings, I am. But that does not dispel the disconsolate fog that’s clouding everything at the moment.

Be assured that the remainder of this post will (likely) be less dismal. And, as always, I love to read your year-end recaps, so please let me know if you posted one as well.

(If you’re so inclined, you can read past versions of my responses: 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009. This yearly recap originated with Linda of All & Sundry.)

As usual, I reserve the right to delete ignore or scoff at any of the questions below.

  • What did you do in 2021 that you’d never done before?
    • Sent my manuscript out for beta reading.
    • Went on a paleontological dig.
    • Rejoiced as each new member of my family received a vaccine against Covid-19.
  • Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

As is my new tradition, I made some very loose aspirations for the year. Out of 19, I accomplished 10, which seems pretty decent, considering some of them were real reaches in terms of potential success.

  • Where did you travel this year? (This is my own recasting of a question I could never answer which was How many countries did you visit this year?)

This year, the only time I left the state was to visit my parents. My husband, daughter, and I also took a trip to a city on the opposite end of our state, which was nice but very hot and sticky. We have some travel planned for 2022, but who knows how that will turn out.

  • What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?

I mean, last year’s wish still holds true: A return to some sort of pre-pandemic normalcy, for myself and my country, and across the globe. More time alone with my husband. Dinner in a restaurant. The ability to travel without worrying about infection/infecting.

As long as we’re putting out our wishes, I would also like to have an agent in 2022. I know this is… a big ask. And will require a lot of work on my part. And will still probably not happen. And putting it out here makes me feel stupid and exposed. But it is what I want, more than anything unrelated to the pandemic, and I’m going to TRY.

  • What dates from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Moreso than even in 2020, I think, the days and weeks sort of ran together in 2021. Outside of January 6, I can’t remember a single specific date. A few key moments do stand out – like when I got my vaccinations and when Carla got hers – but I couldn’t tell you the dates.

  • What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting my manuscript out to beta readers.

  • What was your biggest failure?

I am not up to answering this one this year.

  • Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, thank goodness. My family and I have been so remarkably lucky during this pandemic.

  • What was the best thing you bought?

I’d say it’s a three-way tie between my new towels, our bicycles, and the artificial Christmas tree.

  • Whose behavior merited celebration?
  • Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
  • Where did most of your money go?
  • What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I was really excited about going to visit my parents with Carla (and really anxious). I was really excited that Carla got to attend summer camp and that she started third grade on time and made it until January without requiring remote schooling.

  • *Compared to this time last year, are you:
    • a) happier or sadder? 
    • b) thinner or fatter? 
    • c) richer or poorer? 
  • What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing (evergreen item). Exercising. Reading. Eating vegetables.

  • What do you wish you’d done less of?

Feeling sad. Eating my feelings. Wallowing in regret. Doomscrolling. 

  • How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas included the three of us, plus my parents and it was everything a Christmas should be. We have such thoughtful and generous friends and family members, and there were SO many gifts under the tree. We ate bacon and baked French toast and berries for breakfast and then my husband went into the hospital, but he was able to come home around two which wasn’t terrible. For dinner, my dad made his traditional spice roast, my mom made her traditional blueberry pie, I made goat cheese garlic mashed potatoes, and we all chipped in to make Caesar salad. Carla flitted from new toy to new toy and the adults watched football and cooked and ate and really, what more could you ask for?

  • Did you fall in love in 2021?
  • What was your favorite (new) TV program?

Instead of watching TV this year, I mostly chose to read. But that doesn’t mean I was completely cut off from television! My husband and I finally started watching Succession (and have just started Season 3) – we are OBSESSED with it, as everyone predicted. How can so many people be so completely and thoroughly awful? We also started watching Superstore, which is a very fun, 30-minute humorous diversion type of show. I also loved:

  • The Queen’s Gambit – Neither my husband nor I can remember if we watched this in 2020 or 2021. As he says, it was a long year. While I know nothing of chess, I did love this series about an orphan chess prodigy whose addictions threaten to keep her from achieving her ambition. It was a show where I kept expecting terrible things to happen to the protagonist… but the people who surrounded her were almost universally good, caring humans who wanted to lift her up and help her succeed.
  • Mare of Easttown – This is the show that inspired us to finally get HBO, and it was SO worth it. (Also, Succession.) Such a dark, gritty look at a detective who does everything to solve a case. Kate Winslet was stunning. And the heavy-handedness of the accents was quite amusing.
  • Only Murders in the Building – What a heartwarming little mystery series this was. Selena Gomez, Martin Short, and Steve Martin solving a murder in their luxury apartment building was every bit as goofy and fun as you would expect.
  • Maniac – A science-fiction series about grief and brokenness that took some very weird but always interesting turns. It reminded me a little bit of Palm Springs, so if you liked that movie I bet you would like this series. (I enjoyed the movie very much.)
  • Bodyguard – This was a heart-pounding thriller that stressed me out the way early seasons of 24 used to. It was really good, if you can stand that edge-of-your-seat, something-is-definitely-going-to-explode feeling. Also, it has nothing at all to do with the Whitney Houston film masterpiece of the early ’90s, in case you thought it was a serialized version of the movie as I did.
  • A Series of Unfortunate Events – Carla has been listening to the audiobooks of this novel series, so we started watching the TV show as a family. It’s darling and fun, and I adore Neil Patrick Harris as Count Olaf.
  • *Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
  • What was the best book you read?

While I haven’t been able to read for most of this past month, which really, really stinks (it’s like being estranged from a dear friend), I had a very good reading year otherwise. In fact, I read 74 books this past year, which is a record for me. And so many of them were so good!!!!! 

  • A Ladder to the Sky by John Boyne gets my top marks for this year. It was a beautifully crafted, incredibly chilling depiction of a would-be writer who will do absolutely anything to be successful. I loved the way the structure helped funnel the reader toward an ever-deeper, ever-more-sinister understanding of the main character.
  • The Great Alone was my first (and, so far, only) Kristin Hannah novel, and I loved it so much. The landscape, the isolation of small-town Alaska, the in-depth exploration of the dysfunction in one family were all so well done. I listened to this while out walking, often with tears streaming down my face.
  • Megha Majumdar’s debut A Burning was captivating and horrifying and gave a keen view of the inner-workings of life in Bombay and the lengths people go to achieve their ambitions.
  • Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi was absolutely gorgeous – a series of linked short stories about two strands of a family separated by circumstance and slavery.
  • I finally read the second book in the romance duology by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan, and The Heir Affair didn’t disappoint. It’s witty and charming, and the relationship and even the faux-royal setting feel real and relatable.
  • I loved Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir so much that I ended up listening to the audiobook a second time with my daughter. It was fun and exciting and at turns triumphant and devastating.
  • Anxious People by Fredrik Backman started a little slow for me, but turned out to be one of my favorites. The writing style, the juxtaposition of heartbreaking situations and the warmth of strangers, and the humor added up to a deeply satisfying novel.
  • Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro was at once so richly imagined and so startlingly spare in details that it stands out as unique among my reads this year. Themes of ambition and companionship, and the role material “things” have in our lives were explored with the fresh, simplistic-but-insightful eyes of the titular AI. It was gorgeous and left me wanting more.
  • Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman is a book that I found emotionally wracking, but also very hopeful and so well-written/well-characterized that I continue to think of it long after the fact.
  • Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes was such a satisfying and well-written romance. As a person who typically eschews romance novels, I was surprised by how much I loved this story about a relationship that grows between two people who are broken in very different ways.

You know my favorite genre is mystery/thriller, and I read some GREAT ones this year.  

  • Sophie Hannah’s Haven’t They Grown (published as Perfect Little Children in the U.S., which doesn’t seem quite as apt a title) was a close second. She comes up with the most bizarre and fascinating premises (in this one, the protagonist sees a former friend and her two children after many years apart – but the children have not aged a day) and I just love how she unravels a mystery and makes the explanation seem both surprising and inevitable.
  • The third Cat Kinsella mystery, Shed No Tears, by Caz Frear was another favorite. I just love tough, witty, personally-ethical-yet-morally-compromised Cat Kinsella as a character.
  • The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz was really enjoyable, too, although again more for the writing and the slow realization of the main character coming to understand his situation.
  • I loved Richard Osman’s The Thursday Murder Club and, even more, its sequel, The Man Who Died Twice. The septuagenarian detectives and their relationships and struggles were lovely and charming and the books are packed with humor, puzzles, and heartbreak in equal measure. I cannot wait for the third installment.
  • What did you want and get?

Part of last year’s answer is true once again: For my family and friends to be safe and healthy this year. So far, so good. We are very, very lucky.

I am also so very glad that the vaccine was approved for kids Carla’s age, so I wanted for all my loved ones to get vaccinated and that has happened. Well. I don’t know that my niece has been vaccinated, but everyone else has.

  • What did you want and not get?

Well, last year’s answer still suffices: A refrigerator that doesn’t leak mysteriously and incessantly. New windows. Unity around a workable, scientifically-backed virus containment strategy. 

Things did NOT get back to “normal.” That was not unexpected and yet still deeply, powerfully disappointing. Disheartening. Dispiriting. Gutting.

  • What was your favorite film of this year?

Did I watch any movies this year? I can’t remember a single one, except Encanto, which we watched over the Christmas weekend, and which was very charming.

Oh, right – my husband reminded me that we watched Dune, which I was resistant to and ended up really enjoying. (Although I am annoyed that it was only PART of the story.)

  • What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
  • What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A coordinated, followed-by-everyone plan for enduring the latest stages of the pandemic. Finalizing revisions on my manuscript.

  • How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?

As in 2020, my fashion choices were all about comfort. Soft bras, soft pants, soft shorts, no makeup, no shoes. Let’s exchange our pajamas for some Daytime Leggings and then switch back in a few hours. That kind of thing. I did go out more. Not like out out, but out in the world, so I ended up buying a few pairs of new jeans. Two of those pairs are in the supposedly-once-again-fashionable straight leg/bootcut style and I kind of hate them, even though I loved that style when it was previously fashionable and resisted skinny jeans for years.

  • What kept you sane?

My husband. Exercise. My terrible, wonderful, unputdownable phone. Books and audiobooks. Carbs. Wine. Reading your blog posts. Long walks. Takeout. Writing here.

  • Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
  • Who did you miss?

My first and perpetual answer to this question will always be my friend who died. But in 2021, I don’t think I spent a lot of time missing anyone else. As an introvert, the forced isolation of the pandemic wasn’t particularly difficult on me, and I think the increased human interaction we’ve been inching toward this year was perfectly fine. Plus, we got to see both sets of parents AND my sister-in-law and niece, so I didn’t feel separated from my family. We are so very, very lucky.

  • Who was the best new person you met?

I cannot think of a single new person I met this past year.

  • Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021.

The only current “lesson” that I can come up with – the worst things you think about yourself are true, and other people think them too – is a direct reflection of my current mood, which hopefully is not a reflection of reality. So let’s go with last year’s slightly more uplifting offering:

“Despite everything, there is SO MUCH to be grateful for. Even when the big things are uncertain and scary and sad, there are plenty of tiny, wonderful joys to be counted and held up for inspection and treasured. I have made a point to consider all the blessings in my life this year – sometimes just FORCING myself to be grateful dammit – and I feel more aware of them, and of how full my life is even when it seems otherwise. I hope among all the wreckage of this year that you, too, have found some kernel of gratitude. Not because you SHOULD, but because it helps to have even a small glimmer of light to walk toward when everything seems so unbearably dark.”

  • Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“Go easy on me.” – Adele

Happy New Year, Internet. May 2022 bring us all happiness and health.

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2020 Round Up-a-Rama

Last year, I ended this yearly recap with “A new decade lies before us, Internet. Fresh and unwrinkled, with no mistakes in it yet. I hope it brings all of us health and happiness and grace.”

Oh, Past Me. So innocent. So unknowing. 

Despite this year being… you know. Awful in so many, many, many ways, I do want to recap it. First, it’s An Established Tradition on this blog. (If you’re so inclined, you can read past versions of my responses: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009. This yearly recap originated with Linda of All & Sundry.)

Second, this is a year for the history books, and, well, it feels worth recording.

Also, please forgive the formatting. WordPress and I are NOT getting along today.

As usual, I reserve the right to delete ignore or scoff at any of the questions below. Please let me know if YOU do a year-end recap – I love to read them.

  • What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?
    • Lived through (the first nine months of) a global pandemic. 
    • Supervised my child during remote learning. 
    • Stayed at home with my daughter all summer.
    • Tried Keto.
    • Entertained friends and family solely outside. 
    • Dyed my own hair. 
    • Downloaded and used Zoom, many, many times. 
    • Celebrated every important-to-us holiday and birthday without extended family.
  • Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Once again, I had a bunch of loose aspirations for the year, many of which are quite blackly hilarious in light of the pandemic. At least I was able to achieve the main one – “I am not going to put a huge amount of pressure on accomplishing anything outside of keeping myself and my child alive. Even my husband is ON HIS OWN, for keeping-alive purposes.” Good enough, self.

  • Where did you travel this year? (This is my own recasting of a question I could never answer which was How many countries did you visit this year?)

This year, I visited Florida, Montana, and Michigan and that’s it because the pandemic put a kibosh on all my travel plans. We went to Florida pre-pandemic. We went to Montana when the pandemic was just starting to creep across the country. And we went to Michigan in October, just the three of us, and rented a little house in the middle of nowhere and did outdoor activities and brought takeout back to our rental. 

  • What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

A return to some sort of pre-pandemic normalcy, for myself and my country, and across the globe. A strong third draft of my manuscript. More time alone with my husband. Dinner in a restaurant. The ability to travel without worrying about infection/infecting.

  • What dates from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
    • March 17, which was the last day of in-person first grade for Carla and the day when Shit Got Real.
    • September 14, which was Carla’s first day of second grade and her return to in-person school. It was a day of WILDLY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS but it turned out to be the best possible decision we could have made, for our particular child, with our particular circumstance. 
    • My husband’s birthday in October, during which he turned 40. He continues to grow ever hotter with the years, which is truly unfair but also really enjoyable for me.

  • What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Surviving.

  • What was your biggest failure?

My FEELING of failure is related to how poorly I’ve taken care of myself this year. It’s not a REAL failure, because I succeeded in Making It to the end of 2020. But I have self-soothed against pandemic anxiety by eating and drinking too much, resulting in me feeling that I have been a) overdramatic and b) using the pandemic as an excuse to lose control. But I am also trying to be kind to myself, and there is time (I hope) to recalibrate. 

I am also frustrated that this novel still isn’t done. So frustrated. But again: trying to be kind, take it one day at a time, and remind myself that the pace doesn’t matter as much as the product.

  • Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, thank goodness.

  • What was the best thing you bought?

The outdoor heater for our back porch. It enabled us to socialize with a couple of families well into October. Oh! And Carla’s bike was a GREAT purchase. She got so much exhilaration and joy and exercise from that bike!

  • Whose behavior merited celebration?
  • Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
  • Where did most of your money go?
  • What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I was really looking forward to going skiing with my parents and Carla for the first time. The pandemic nipped that right in the bud. 

  • What song(s) will always remind you of 2020?

There has been – thank goodness – a LOT of music in 2020. A bunch of it comes from Just Dance 2020, and will be forever stuck in my head thanks to Carla’s insistence that we repeat one song over and over until we drop from exhaustion. Despite my early worries – well, I guess it’s still too soon to tell, but I don’t THINK these songs will fill me with the dread of this year. Instead, they remind me of the good times. Dancing with my daughter. Staying up too late, just the three of us, watching music videos on TV. Driving together somewhere outdoors and isolated from people, listening to many of these songs every time. I hope that’s what sticks with me. 

  • Compared to this time last year, are you:
    • a) happier or sadder? 
    • b) thinner or fatter? 
    • c) richer or poorer? 

  • What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing (evergreen item). Going on dates with my husband (HAHAHAHAHAHA). Exercising. Reading.

  • What do you wish you’d done less of?

Feeling sad. Eating my feelings. Worrying. Doomscrolling. 

  • How did you spend Christmas?

Just the three of us, enjoying each other’s company, getting together via Zoom and FaceTime with our extended families. It seems wildly unfair to say that I really enjoyed our Christmas alone together. But I did. While I definitely look forward to having my parents here next year, it was so, so nice to be able to have a nearly stress-free Christmas, to stay in my pajamas for nearly 48 hours straight, and to be able to retire to our separate corners (Carla with LEGOs, my husband with a puzzle, me with a book) and just co-exist in a very amiable, very loving, and very quiet space for an entire weekend. I kind of loved it. That does NOT mean I want/need it to be this way every year. I was mainly glad that I wasn’t overwhelmed by grief at being apart. 

  • Did you fall in love in 2020?

I had crossed out this question in previous years because it is stupid. BUT I am uncrossing it on (??? what is the opposite of crossing out?) this year because I feel like I fell more in love with Carla this year. Her flexibility and adaptability and determination and general cheerfulness throughout the pandemic have been a sight to behold. But beyond that, we spent more time together this year than we have since those first few months after her birth. And let’s be honest, back then, we were strangers. Not to mention that the most interesting things she did in those early days included rolling over and sleeping multiple consecutive hours in a night. Now that she is seven, she is SO INTERESTING and FUN and we have real conversations and do things together that are enjoyable for both of us. In past years, I was super anxious for her to go to camp during the summer because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to occupy her by myself. This summer, camp was not a possibility for her, so we DID spend all summer together. And it was FINE. Some days, it was even GREAT! 

Most of all, I’ve gotten to know her better, and, hopefully, to understand her better. I see what she goes through in a school-esque setting. I have a better grasp of her work process, of her strengths and challenges when it comes to learning and friendships. I have a new appreciation for how much effort she puts into her schoolwork, how kind and supportive she is to her friends, how unexpectedly shy she can be in front of her peers, how she lights up when she has one-on-one time with her teachers and classmates. 

Our time together is now more precious than it ever was, simply because I understand better than ever how wonderful she is, and how quickly she is growing up. I treasure the rare moments when she wants to snuggle up and read with me, the times when we can move our bodies outdoors together, the delight we share when I introduce her to something I love (Full House, Ellen Tebbits, Friends). I have always loved her with my whole heart. But I fell so much more deeply in love with her this year. 

  • What was your favorite (new) TV program?

THANK GOODNESS FOR TV. Somehow I watched a lot less TV during a global pandemic than I thought I would? Not that I ever thought about it before; I am just kind of surprised that I haven’t been vegged out in front of the TV for nine months. (It was still a lot of TV.) (I love TV.)

  • *
    • Ted Lasso was so, so, so wonderful. Best sleeper hit of the year. (Sleeper hit for me because the previews made it out to be a show about soccer, which is a topic I have ZERO interest in.) (IT WAS SO GOOD.) 
    • The Babysitters Club remake was AMAZING in every way and I was so delighted to watch it with Carla, and plan to watch it with her again in the future because it will resonate with her in new ways as she gets older. 
    • I loved The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
    • Never Have I Ever was super fun. 
    • I watched Veronica Mars for the first time and loved it. 
    • I started watching The Mindy Project for the first time and found it to be very comforting in its romantic absurdity (although I have had more than enough of the weight hate). 
    • The Crown continues to be surprisingly riveting. 
    • Making It and LEGO Masters and Magic for Humans are new to me and all wonderful, feel-good pandemic viewing. 
    • Great British Baking Show and Penn & Teller Fool Us and Songland continue to be excellent, soothing fare. 
  • Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
  • What was the best book you read?

This year, despite going through several long periods where I just COULDN’T get through a novel, I read more than 45 books which is a record for me. And so many of them were so good!!!!! 

  • *
    • The Searcher by Tana French is probably my top book of the year. She’s just such a masterful writer – her prose is gorgeous and the characters are so well-drawn. I didn’t find the plot to be among her best – it’s pretty simple and easy to parse – but there were some surprising (and creepy) elements that I liked, and I just enjoyed it so much. 
    • I read Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies and absolutely fell in love with Thomas Cromwell, whose life and motivations are so richly imagined by Hilary Mantel. I have the third installment of the trilogy, The Mirror and the Light, on my nightstand, but didn’t manage to pick it up in 2020.
    • The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett is a book I still think about, even though I read it back in August. I bought it for several of the bookish people I know for Christmas. The way Bennett handles questions of identity and how people present themselves to the world was so skilled and thoughtful. 
    • I typically don’t read romance novels, but The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan was spectacular – fun and touching and funny and well-paced and just an excellent read. (I STILL haven’t read the sequel, The Heir Affair, because of really dumb reasons, like that I read the original on Kindle, so I want to read the sequel on Kindle, but every time it is available from the library I am in the middle of something else. I should really just buy both of them in print and move on with my life.)
    • Speaking of genres I don’t often read, I just this week finished Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia which is what I would categorize as a horror novel. I’ve heard it compared to Rebecca, which I loved when I read it many years ago (and now want to read again). But Moreno-Garcia’s book is ENTIRELY its own. It was fascinating and surprising and like nothing I’ve ever read before. No wonder it’s been on so many Must Read and Best Of lists all year long. 

You know my favorite genre is mystery/thriller, and I read some GREAT ones this year. 

  • *
    • I literally just read The Holdout by Graham Moore yesterday – I started it at lunchtime and finished it right around when my husband got home at about sixish, so perhaps that tells you that it was EXCELLENT and UNPUTDOWNABLE. Well written, well-paced, great use of multiple perspectives and timelines. There were some surprises in the plot and it was just… so, so good. This was a book I hadn’t heard of – my husband bought it for me for Christmas and this just solidifies the fact that he is a GREAT picker-outer of books. Now I think I need to go back and read more of Moore’s work.
    • Long Bright River by Liz Moore was superb, with a surprising plot, great characters, and a careful, thoughtful handling of the subject of addiction. This one book made her a person whose next book I would by unquestioningly.
    • Winter Counts by David Heska Wanbli Weiden has to be on my list because I think about it long after the fact. The mystery itself wasn’t perhaps my favorite, but I absolutely loved the descriptions of life on the reservation and the protagonist’s experiences with legal obstacles and his reluctant foray into traditional tribal approaches to problem-solving. I look forward to more books by Weiden. 
    • I also really, really enjoyed The Blinds by Adam Sternbergh – it was so fast-paced and built on such an interesting premise. Like watching a really good action movie, but in book form.
  • What did you want and get?

For my family and friends to be safe and healthy this year. So far, so good. We are very, very lucky.

A VACCINE. My goodness,

Also, a new president. 

  • What did you want and not get?

A refrigerator that doesn’t leak mysteriously and incessantly. New windows. Unity around a workable, scientifically-backed virus containment strategy.

  • What was your favorite film of this year?

Um. I think we probably watched more movies this year than ever before, but damned if I can remember any of them. A lot of them were oldies from when my husband and I were youths – you know, Back to the Futures I and II, The Goonies, Jumanji, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Jurassic Park. Most of them held up pretty well. 

  • What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
  • What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

IF THERE HAD BEEN NO GLOBAL PANDEMIC.

  • How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

2020 Fashion was all about comfort. Soft bras, soft pants, soft shorts, no makeup, no shoes. Let’s exchange our pajamas for some Daytime Leggings and then switch back in a few hours. That kind of thing. I did buy some leopard print shoes and some jean shorts (gasp!) though. I am never going to feel comfortable wearing a bra again, that’s for sure.

  • What kept you sane?

My husband. Exercise. My terrible, ubiquitous, addictive phone. Recipe and exercise blogs (most of which I just save for later rather than putting to immediate use). Good TV. Carbs. Tequila. The Office Ladies podcast. Reading your blog posts. Long walks, when I was able to take them. My backyard, when the weather was bearable. Writing here.

  • Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ted Lasso, who is, admittedly a fictional character rather than a celebrity. Nonetheless, I LOVE HIM. 

I also fell in love with Jenna Fisher, of The Office fame, through the Office Ladies podcast she hosts with Angela Kinsey. She’s a beautiful TV and movie star, yet she portrays herself as kind of this nerdy, super-organized, socially-awkward person… and she just seems like someone I would want to be friends with. I love hearing about her celebrity friends and experiences — her life is SO unlike my own. But she is also such a REAL person, and she gets so REAL on her podcast, talking about REAL things, and she seems so kind and caring. I love how supportive and thoughtful she seems to be — she is always describing her cast- and crewmates from The Office in such a positive and genuine way. But she gets deeper, too. In one episode, she told a story about eating an entire bag of snack mix in one sitting, and saying that sometimes it is okay to not be okay. That has stayed with me. For the most part this year, I have not been okay with not being okay. I feel melodramatic and like I should be grateful for what I have and like I should buck up and have a stiff upper lip and get some perspective. But it has been A TOUGH YEAR. It SHOULD be okay to not be okay. It IS okay. I keep repeating that to myself like a mantra. Not to wallow, but to reduce the guilt and the self-recrimination. Anyway, Jenna Fisher for life, y’all. 

  • What political issue stirred you the most?
  • Who did you miss?

My friend who died. My housecleaner (sob!). My parents, although we got to see them right before the pandemic tipped over into This Is Really A Big Deal, and they also drove out to visit us this past fall. I know this is a TON more time than other people got to have with their families. Still. It wasn’t enough time, and they weren’t here for Thanksgiving which was a bummer. I am a mega introvert, so I didn’t really miss anyone else. I mean, it would have been nice to see some of the other moms more often. But I got to see my two closest local friends a few times, which was honestly kind of the perfect amount of socializing for me.  

  • Who was the best new person you met?

Shocking to absolutely no one, the number of people I know/interact with dropped significantly this year. But you know what? I DID meet someone new this year! She and her daughter moved here, and she enrolled her daughter in Carla’s school, and we actually met in person for a “playdate” in a parking lot. (Parking lot lines are really helpful in keeping children socially distance, FYI. There’s your 2020 Hot Tip of the Year. Get them to an empty parking lot, set them up in individual spaces with one space in between them, and allow them to shout at each other in lieu of actually playing together.) Anyway, we have gotten the kids together via Zoom several times since, and we text while they play and both mom and child are delightful. I am very glad to have met them, and, honestly, the circumstances are very soothing to my introverted, socially awkward soul.

  • Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020.

Somehow, my answer from 2019 is pretty apt for this year as well: I don’t know. That things could always be worse? Ugh. That’s a terrible life lesson, true as it may be. That sometimes things seem pretty grim and you just have to keep going? I am still processing the past few months and I don’t think I’ve fully wrapped my head around what’s been going on… or how to apply what I’ve learned (what I’m learning?) to the future. So that grit-your-teeth kind of thing is all I have right now.

Maybe, on a slightly more positive note, that despite everything, there is SO MUCH to be grateful for. Even when the big things are uncertain and scary and sad, there are plenty of tiny, wonderful joys to be counted and held up for inspection and treasured. I have made a point to consider all the blessings in my life this year – sometimes just FORCING myself to be grateful dammit – and I feel more aware of them, and of how full my life is even when it seems otherwise. I hope among all the wreckage of this year that you, too, have found some kernel of gratitude. Not because you SHOULD, but because it helps to have even a small glimmer of light to walk toward when everything seems so unbearably dark.  

  • Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“I’m so thankful. Scratch that baby I’m grateful.” – Katy Perry, “Smile” 

Happy New Year, Internet. May 2021 bring us all happiness, health, and togetherness.