I really, sincerely appreciated everyone’s thoughtful comments in response to my latest Food Fret. My big takeaway was that I should shut up about food, model the type of eating habits I want Carla to emulate, and try not to worry too much. This is usually the approach I take, and I think it is probably the smartest. That doesn’t mean it isn’t HARD, though. Food and eating are SO FRAUGHT.
One of the Big Tips you hear repeatedly when you are looking for information about helping your child eat more/better is to take them shopping with you. This is a practice I have been employing for years – and if Carla expresses an interest in trying a food, I am happy to procure it for her.
(There was the time when she wanted to try a clam, though, and I did end up drawing the line there. For one thing, I have no idea how to cook a clam so that it is remotely edible. For another, I personally do not find clams in any form to be edible. But the clincher was when, through gentle questioning, it turned out that Carla had confused “clam” with “oyster” and her real interest in getting a clam was to see if it had a pearl inside it. I am not researching “how to cook a clam” just so my child can see that it does not produce pearls.)
(I love her, she is so darling.)
Yesterday, I dragged Carla with me to the grocery store. It was after camp, so she was hungry, and she was very interested in buying food. I said yes to everything she asked for (except ice cream because we are already eating ice cream approximately eight million times a week and we do not need another pint of ice cream in our freezer) and I have washed all the fruit and made sure that everything is on a Carla Eye Level shelf for easy access, and now will anxiously wait to see how much of this bounty she eats.
I thought you might want to see what she chose. She bagged all of her own groceries, which made it pretty easy to photograph.
I did not organize the items in a way that makes it easy to see what is what, but I trust you can figure it out.
Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese: We already had an unopened block of cheese in the fridge, but in my opinion you can never have too much cheese. And cheese has protein and calcium so I am Pro Cheese.
Demi Baguette: Carla ate half of this baguette in the car and the other half for dinner.
Chobani Flip Cookie Dough Yogurt: Do these have more sugar than I would prefer? Yes. But they are still yogurt, so I let her eat as many as she wants.
Watermelon: I hate watermelon, and I hate preparing a watermelon, and then having pounds of watermelon on hand, so I am happy to pay a convenience fee to buy the super expensive pre-sliced stuff so I don’t have to deal with it. The thing is, I don’t think Carla really likes watermelon either? I think she kind of likes the idea of watermelon. We’ll see if she eats this.
Fully Cooked Bacon: She ate four slices of this for breakfast this morning, alongside a yogurt. I am choosing to see it as PROTEIN.
Black Seedless Table Grapes: These grapes are teeny tiny, and Carla has – for unknown reasons – been looking for them for AGES. So when we saw them at the store, she immediately requested a carton. When we got home, she said she wanted to eat them the way the Romans did, and then requested that I feed them to her. No thank you, dear.
Crepes: We had a brief conversation about what she might put IN the crepes, and she said fruit (so I also bought some strawberries, not pictured), so I said why not. This seems like something we may end up not eating, just because they seem kind of labor intensive.
Golden Berries: She grabbed these on a whim, and so far I’m the only one of us who has tried them. They have the texture of a grape tomato but a pleasantly sweet-sour flavor.
Raw Slivered Almonds: This was another impulse buy. As far as impulse buys go, I feel okay about it.
Wax Beans: These are Carla’s favorite kind of string beans. I think they are a decent source of fiber and I am happy with any vegetable she wants to eat.
Ham: Usually the only ham Carla will eat is inside a Lunchable, and I have declined to buy Lunchables anymore except on very rare occasions. But Carla went up to the deli counter herself and asked for the ham and then she ate some for dinner last night.
Protein+ Spaghetti Noodles: This is Carla’s favorite noodle. She will eat a bowl of spaghetti with some meatballs on the side.
Wholly Guacamole: While Carla eats way more chips than she does guacamole, I am happy to encourage her to eat guacamole. It’s got to be a gateway to avocados, right? (This was on sale, buy one get one free, which is a STEAL for these little packs.)
Cookie: This was another impulse buy. It was at the checkout station and looked delicious, so why not. Carla took a bite, discovered it contained walnuts, and declined to eat any more of it. What a disappointment!
There were a few things I forgot to photograph!
Frozen Meatballs: These were on sale, so I bought two packages. I do not eat ball-shaped foods, but I have no problem with other people doing so.
Parmesan: Apparently Carla will put the powdered parmesan cheese on her pasta at school, so we bought some so she can do so at home. (Typically, she eats pasta with nothing on it. No olive oil, no butter. She won’t even let me salt the water.)
Artichoke: The other night, we got takeout for dinner and my meal included a roasted artichoke. Carla TRIED THE ARTICHOKE, pronounced it “not bad” and then requested an artichoke at the grocery store. The jury is out on whether she will eat any of it, but I am hopeful!
The exterminator just called and told me one of his other clients has an emergency and would I mind please changing our appointment to next week. Um, no, of course not?! I don’t even want to THINK what might constitute an extermination emergency, so please, go help the poor people who need you. We can live with our silverfish for another few days. Anyway, now that I don’t have to flit fretfully around the exterminator while he does his work, I have an extra free hour or so in which I should be writing to kill, so let’s chat a bit, shall we?
It’s ironic that I should use the word “chat,” because I just left a lengthy complaint on Swistle’s latest post about how my wonderful, beloved child has been extra chatty in the mornings lately. To counteract the bad karma of complaining about my cherished daughter, I will effuse to you a bit because she is just SO FUN to talk to these days. (When it is not six-forty-five in the morning and when we are not trying to get out of the house to be somewhere on time.) She has so many questions and it’s fun to a) discover what’s going through her brain and b) see if I have a reasonable answer, or will have to leave her with the unsatisfying-for-all-of-us response of “we’ll have to look it up.” (My favorite chats take place in the car, so we cannot look it up just then.) She likes to ask about word origins, which can be fun to discuss, especially if I have a little insight into the etymology of whatever she’s got in mind. For instance, she might say that “rhinoceros” is a funny word, and I can point out that “rhin” is from the Greek word for nose and we can marvel over how appropriate a name it is for that particular animal. The other day, she asked me why singers use curse words in their music, I assume because she has been listening to some Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber songs that have lots of bleeped-out words. So I got to teach her a new word (“profanity”) and talk about why some people choose to use profanity, and why it’s not always a good choice, and then she got to say some curse words in the guise of asking me questions about them which is always fun for a seven-year-old to get away with. Our conversations are a delight. And fill me with confidence in her curiosity and intellect that I hold up as a talisman when I overhear her and her friends changing “Old Town Road” to “Old Town Butt” and then every other word of the lyrics is “butt.”
This has been a good week for writing. I was feeling, last week and over the weekend, Extreme Self-Pity (the book is terrible, I’m never going to finish, I’ve wasted my life, I’m a failure and everyone knows it, etc. etc.). Maybe indulging in my own personal pity party spurred an overcorrection because I’ve been writing my little fingers to the bone all week. (This round of revisions still isn’t finished.) (But it’s eking ever closer.) Or maybe it was written in the stars…
Astro Poets is the one true source of all my cosmic guidance.
While this is nearly a decade too late to be an “update,” yes, we still have silverfish. Usually they pop out once or twice a year, springish and fallish, but we’re having a little burst of them right now. Four sightings in the past week, plus a Very Unpleasant Incident in which I went to squish a silverfish that was chillin’ above my daughter’s bed right where the wall meets the ceiling, and instead of squishing obediently, the silverfish JUMPED OUT of my Kleenex and disappeared into my daughter’s bedding. And then, after my husband and I jointly and confidently assured Carla that no self-respecting silverfish – especially one that had recently been the victim of a near-squishing – would stay on the bed near the sight of said squishing, and if by chance it WAS on her bed, it was assuredly DEAD… and after we carefully took apart her bedding, piece by piece, examining each stuffed animal to ensure no silverfish, it was of course under her pillow, very much alive… and then after I attempted to re-squish it, it AGAIN leapt from my Kleenex, causing me – the person trying to be calm and unperturbed about something as harmless as a silverfish – to shriek in front of my daughter. (I did get it, in the end, and squished it and flushed it so it is doubly dead.) Don’t get me wrong – I’d MUCH rather have silverfish than many other creepy crawlies (or whatever constitutes an exterminator emergency; I really can’t stop thinking about what that may be). But I can’t say that we co-exist peacefully: they are so wiggly and have so very many legs. The exterminator – who is the same lovely sixtyish/seventyish-something gentleman who has been coming out to our house two to three times a year for a decade now – blames the silverfish on the number of books we have. I guess they like paper? But I have lived in homes full of books all my life, and this is the only house that has ever featured silverfish, so I’m skeptical and have not done anything to pare down our home library. I am looking forward to seeing the exterminator, for the reason of the silverfish, of course, but also because he is older and has been visiting people’s homes in a pandemic and I’d like to put eyes on him and make sure he’s okay. Aside from the microwave installation people, he is the only non-immediate-family-member who has been inside my house since last March. Which is weird.
In bragging news, I went to the grocery store today and scored ANOTHER bottle of bleach spray. My supplies were depleted a little because I scrubbed the grout last weekend and used up most of a bottle of bleach. (I also gave myself pretty serious chemical burns on two of my fingers, though they are mostly healed now.) I also picked up (we are back at the grocery store now) a bottle of different new-to-me Lysol (I still can’t find the lemon scent I prefer). This one has more of a typical antiseptic scent to it, with maybe a slight hint of orange, and I bought it because I need an occasional break from the mango-and-hibiscus Lysol I bought last time. I’m still going to use the tropical one of course; in a pandemic, one shouldn’t look a cleanser horse in the mouth, even if it is very sickly-sweet and gives me a headache. The grocery store seemed to be almost entirely back to pre-pandemic stocking levels. The only aisle that had anything resembling bare shelves was the cleaning products aisle; even the paper products aisle had shelves bursting with paper towels and toilet paper. Of course, no Grape Nuts or bucatini, but we will survive without.
This one gives off real no-nonsense cleaning-expert vibes. Unlike its frivolous, perfume-loving counterpartwho would totally blow off work to go get daiquiris.
Most days, I am okay with our pandemic way of life. I mean, I don’t LIKE it, and obviously I would prefer that everyone would wear a mask and vaccines were abundant and distributed quickly and efficiently so we could return to a pre-pandemic way of life. But mostly, I am getting used to it. About time, since it’s been going on for nearly an entire year.
I feel very fortunate that the isolated nature of our lives these days suits my personality and lifestyle. I already worked from home; I’m socially awkward; I’m an introvert. Once in awhile, though, I so start feeling lonely. And I want to figure out some way, any way, to interact with other non-immediate-family humans. I used to go through that cycle in The Before Times, too, where I’d go for long stretches without seeing anyone… and then I’d overcorrect by setting up a coffee date AND a dinner date AND a family get together all in the same week… which would completely exhaust and overwhelm me into swearing off human interaction ever again. Still happens, even now that there is really no such thing as having a social life. Carla and I are going to our outdoor sport tomorrow and will see a bunch of her friends and their parents, which will be good. And then on Sunday, my little family will be doing another outdoor activity with friends we haven’t seen since Halloween. Which will ALSO be good. But I am pre-exhausted and pre-overwhelmed by the thought of all this socializing. At least I’m not the only one.
My husband just got his second-round vaccine. This is such a HUGE relief; in a few weeks, he should be (mostly) protected from Covid-19 and I will worry about him MUCH LESS. Plus, my parents’ state has opened up vaccine registration to their age group, so they are on a list and should get their first round soon. Woo hoo! My brother and sister-in-law already got vaccinated because they are both front-line workers. Which leaves only six near-immediate family members to continue worrying about. I mean, I always worry about ALL my family members, but I can downgrade the threat level for a few of them now.
The asparagus is gone. But not eaten. It looked fine, but at some point I started to notice a faint garbage-y smell emanating from our fridge so I threw them away. Sorry asparagus. Wasn’t meant to be.
Speaking of vegetables, I am continuing to work on increasing Carla’s vegetable consumption. In the car after school yesterday, she announced, with great conviction, that she HATES vegetables. (She is discouraged from using the word “hate” except in cases where she feels most strongly.) I had to remind her that she likes lettuce and sugar snap peas and green beans and red peppers and tomatoes. (“I only EAT green beans and red peppers, Mommy, I don’t LIKE them,” she informed me. “And bell peppers and tomatoes are FRUIT, not vegetables.”) Getting her to eat veggies, especially NEW ones, requires creative thinking. The other day, I decided to renew my efforts to get her to like broccoli. She only likes the broccoli “floof” (relatable) but claims not to like broccoli at all. (When she was younger, she would eat it frozen OR cooked with cheese sauce! I don’t know when she stopped liking it!) “You just haven’t found a preparation you like,” I said. So we did a taste test. One floret of raw broccoli; one floret of raw broccoli dipped in ranch; one piece of roasted broccoli with salt and olive oil; one piece of roasted broccoli with lemon juice; one piece of roasted broccoli with parmesan. To increase the Fun Factor (wood board my life is sad), I made a survey for her to fill out as she tried each candidate. The results were not promising.
Carla has her own food priorities.
I think I am in a bit of a book slump. After my gloomy post the other day, I decided the best remedy for Feeling Down was to pick up a good book.I finally, after many, many months, downloaded The Heir Affair to my kindle and read it. I knew it would be exactly what I needed – funny, fast-paced, engrossing, well-written, totally removed from the real world – and indeed it was. Everything I hoped it would be and more! I LOVED IT. But I finished it in two days and am now casting about for what to read next. See? Book slump. And it’s not for want of books! (See above re: silverfish vacation destination.) I have SO MANY books both on my kindle and on my bookshelves/nightstand just waiting for me to read them! I am, in fact, in the middle of three separate books (a trait I get from my mother, apparently), each of which is very good, and each of which is completely not what I’m looking for at this particular moment. Which is The Heir Affair again. Or its prequel, The Royal We. Or The Holdout, which was another book I could not put down. That’s what I want: something completely absorbing and unputdownable. But it also shouldn’t be sad. Or… deal with anything too heavy. What is the most unputdownable, semi-light-subject-wise book you’ve read? Or, if that’s too specific, what is the most absorbing book you’ve read recently?
A mix of books I have and have not yet read.
Well, it’s not actually SUNNY outside right now, but the clouds are high/thin enough that there is something approximating light streaming through the windows. And I can’t tell you how cheering it is, in all its diffuse dimness. I will take what I can get!
Our trip to visit my parents is coming up, and with it four very long flights on an airplane. Carla has a tablet for just this kind of occasion (also for going out to restaurants when her parents cannot stand the thought of cooking/washing dishes), and so I am on the lookout for some new apps. Is it apps? Suddenly that’s making me think of appetizers. Or aps? It’s not apse, I know that. (Although I still couldn’t tell you which is the apse and which is the transept or how they are related except by “church.”)
Carla’s favorite apps include:
Toca Pet Doctor (My husband and I recently got into a nearly-heated discussion about why it’s “pet doctor” instead of “vet.” My husband’s explanation is that the “healing” has nothing whatsoever to do with veterinary medicine. My retort is that nor does it have anything to do with any sort of “doctoring.”)
(Image from Tocaboca.com)
Toca Hair Salon
(Image from appsplayground.com)
Sago mini Ocean Swimmer
(Image from googleplay.com)
Sago mini Road Trip
(Image from itunes.com)
Dr. Panda Restaurant
(Image from smartappsforkids.com)
Dr. Panda Airport – I love this one because it requires simple counting and number/letter recognition, as well as understanding of matching concepts. Plus it’s fun.
(Image from topbestappsforkids.com)
Sago mini Toolbox
(Image from gabdar.com)
We also have Sago mini Monsters, but I don’t know if she’s ever played it. It seems a little simplistic. And we have Toca Boo, which Carla likes in concept (scaring people while dressed as a ghost), but is a little advanced for her, so she gets bored quickly.And there was a Sago mini Friends app we had on our ancient second-gen iPad, which Carla loved as well.
We are always on the lookout for fun apps for Carla. Especially if they are free or very low-cost. Any apps that your toddler loves?
Brushing Teeth
Speaking of apps, I was thinking that it would be SO GREAT if there were an app that was connected digitally to a child’s toothbrush. The image on the screen would be of a mouth with lots of gunk on the teeth. And the child would be able to remove the gunk by brushing his/her own teeth. AND the gunk would come off only after two minutes of brushing. HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?
Because brushing teeth is becoming a HUGE power play around here. My husband and I have exhausted our collective creativity on the subject. For a while, Carla liked being A Big Girl and brushing her teeth. For a short while, she liked me or her father to brush her teeth for her. For a short while, she would “compete” with one of us to see who could brush their teeth most quickly. For a shorter while, she accepted the dentist’s recommendation that we be the ones to brush her teeth. There were a few days when she would enthusiastically “teach” her baby doll or one of her stuffed animals to brush their teeth by watching her. Of course, my husband or I had to narrate the entire time. There were a few days when she thought it was hilarious for me to brush her teeth while she had her thumb in her mouth. Then two thumbs. Once in a while, she will brush her teeth to a toothbrushing song or video on YouTube. Lately, I have been allowing her to watch Elmo videos while I brush her teeth.
Every day, it’s something new. You never know whether she’ll be game for whatever stupid game you’ve dreamed up or you’ll end up feeling like a teakettle about to boil over.
It’s a NIGHTMARISH ORDEAL, is what I’m saying.
HOW in the WIDE WIDE WORLD do you get a stubborn, control-enthusiast toddler to brush her teeth?
Eating (again)
Last night for dinner, Carla had two tablespoons of peanut butter and 12 slices of pepperoni.
I mean.
She can’t SURVIVE like this, right? How is she surviving?
As usual, I served her a meal that had a variety of things. AND, the variety was things that she LIKES and has eaten with gusto in the past. (Read: no guarantee she will ever eat again.) I gave her fish sticks (with plenty of ketchup), cheesy noodles, and cheesy broccoli. But no. She put a tiny bite of fish stick into her mouth and then spat it out. “I don’t LIKE it,” she said, beseechingly. SIGH.
She asked for rice off of my plate, then didn’t eat it.
We THREATENED. She has presents to open from the party this weekend, and we said she MUST eat three fish sticks in order to open them. Nope. Nothing more than the teeny little taste that came right back out.
So. Peanut butter and pepperoni it is.
She used to be GREAT about yogurt. And I felt fine with giving her a (whole milk, full fat) yogurt anytime, anywhere. But now she is finicky and not interested. Oh! That DOES remind me that she and I made some yogurt “popsicles” that I should try and get her to eat.
Breakfast used to be a fair guarantee that she’d eat: a pancake or two, a French toast stick or two, plus some fruit, plus an applesauce pouch, plus a yogurt pouch. Lately? She’ll eat a handful of berries, a bite of a starch… and some Cheez Its.
This morning she had twelve Frosted Mini Wheats (she’s very into counting things; there were 20 to begin with, and it took about 890 minutes to eat the twelve and then we were late) and about a half cup of blackberries and raspberries. And an applesauce pouch in the car.
And that’s the other thing. Meals drag. On. For. Ever. I wake her up at 7:00, and we’re “eating” by 7:15… but it takes until 8:30 to be done. And even then, it’s only by setting timers and urging her to KEEP EATING FTLOG and then we have to be finished even if she’s not done. Dinner time is a series of ups and downs and “I need water” and “I need a spoon” “no a different spoon” “no a BIG GIRL spoon” and “I have to go potty” until we strap her into her booster seat. And then it’s eating nothing and trying small bites and arguing and wheedling and negotiating until finally I set the timer for bath time. And then she wants something else! That she doesn’t eat! And something else! And something else! Until I am ready to throw in the towel and all the bedsheets and a canopy besides.
I know – I know – that EATING is one of the few ways she can exert control over her universe. But it is driving me mad. MAD.
And also nervous. Because how is she surviving? She eats less than a bird.
Do I just… continue along this path – offering good food, then when she refuses it, give her an alternate option? (And please keep in mind that I asked her what she wanted for dinner – between two options – and she chose fish sticks so it’s not like I haven’t tried THAT tack.) I cannot put her to bed hungry. I know it’s an option, and it’s one that we’ve tried. But it just doesn’t work for us.
WHAT ELSE IS THERE?
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