I have a dressy event tomorrow, and I’ve been spending way too much time and money planning for it. It’s not like anyone cares what I look like, I realize this. And yet I still have been spending way too much time and money. Partly, the What to Wear frenzy is a manifestation of social anxiety; if only I wear the perfect dress and have the perfect hair and find the perfect accessories, I will not feel nervous or awkward! Conversation will flow effortlessly and I will not end up casting about for non-boring topics while the silence drags on interminably! I will say the exact right thing and speak neither too much nor too little and know intuitively just how much eye contact is enough! People will think I am charming and friendly instead of weird and gawky! Partly, I have lost a little weight this year, and none of my dressy clothes fit. Although I never have dressy clothes that fit, it seems like. Somehow, I nonetheless have a closet full of dresses.

My new dress is navy and I love it. It’s ankle length and it’s more body hugging than I usually wear. That makes it sound like it’s tight, which it most definitely is not. It’s just not the A-line/fit-and-flare silhouette I always gravitate toward. I originally wanted to go with gold accessories, but I tried on some gold jewelry with it and the combination read very old. Not sure if it was the gold and navy combo (doubtful; gold and navy together seem classic and chic), or the fact that the dress has kind of high-ish neckline, or if it was the combo on me, but it was not good. Silver, somehow, looked MUCH better. Younger. Fresher. Let’s be frank: I can use all the youth additive factors that I can get.

When I chose the dress and discovered that silver looked better than gold, I cheered myself with the fact that I already own silver shoes. Shoes with heels that are, alas, much too high and spindly for my post plantar fasciitis feet. I ended up buying new silver shoes with a kitten heel that make me feel much more secure. I also bought a silver clutch; I have been wanting an evening bag for years. Every time I go to a dressy occasion, I lament my lack of evening bags. Now I have one. Of course, now that I own the heels and the bag, I am realizing that I should have skipped the silver and gone with burgundy. Oh well. Too late now. Maybe I will have another occasion to wear this dress and I can seek out burgundy accessories for that. Maybe I will also have time to become the type of person who feels comfortable buying this evening bag, which I want quite badly without wanting in any way to pay the asking price. In the meantime, I am placating myself with some burgundy nail polish.

I realized last weekend that my hair needs a touch up. Seems like I need to color it more and more frequently these days, which is spendy. Usually, I get the updates done at a salon. It’s not that I can’t, technically, color my own hair; I gamely dyed my own hair during the pandemic, but I hated it so very much. The whole process is messy and I suck at applying the color and my hair always winds up with uneven darker chunks because I suck at it. Plus, it’s not like the at-home dye kit is FREE. If I’m going to pay for hair dye, I would rather also pay someone to apply it for me. Literally the only thing I enjoyed about coloring my own hair was the little envelope of conditioner that came with the dye kit. It made my hair SO soft.

Anyway, since my next hair appointment is not until after the dressy event, I purchased a touch-up kit with plans to cover my greys. Alas, I have been at Sports or School Things every night and with various service people or houseguests every day, so I have not managed to cover a damn thing. I have a few spare minutes this afternoon, and I floated the idea of coloring my hair today past my husband. In the kindest way possible, he said, “Absolutely not.” I mean… I suppose going with known grey roots is preferable to dealing with the potentially horrifying results of a last-minute dye job. The smart thing to do is return the kit and get my money back. But… I do love the conditioner.

Speaking of hair dye: Carla has been making some wistful comments recently about highlighting her hair. A bunch of her friends have gotten highlights, and it does look lovely. Unfortunately for Carla, I am a Mean Mom and I refuse to pay for her to color her hair. (See also: Starbucks and a cell phone.) First of all, she has gorgeous dark blonde hair with natural highlights. Second of all, highlights seem like they require intervention from an Experienced Hair Stylist, for which a) Carla has no time and b) I don’t want to pay. Third, as I know from experience, once you start dying it is very, very hard to stop. Seems like the perfect thing she can save up for.

While we’re on the topic of hair, I need all your Anti-Frizz advice please. I have developed a pretty effective regimen, involving three separate hair products and drying/straightening my hair with the ridiculously expensive tool my husband got me a few years ago. I have not achieved the glass hair of my dreams, but I’m mostly happy with it. Still, sometimes the humidity overrides the products.

Carla, unfortunately, does not have the time to straighten her hair. And she has not had the same luck with the products. (To be fair, this may be, how can I say this tactfully?, user error and not the fault of the products.)

What do you use to tame the frizz????

Oh! I have a hair related recommendation! I suspect this handy little tool is probably one of those things that y’all have been using already; I am often late to the trends party. My daughter got one for her birthday on the recommendation of a friend and I recently tried it on my own hair and I looooovvvvveeee it. I do worry that my hair will get caught and I’ll have to cut my way out of the damn thing, but it doesn’t seem to be possible. I have definitely gotten a little tangled (due to hubris; I tried to put more hair into the slot than could possibly fit), and extraction was simple, with no damage or hair loss.

I used to curl my hair every day, for many, many years. This tool makes the whole process leaps and bounds simpler, and the results are fabulous, AND there’s a little button that allows you to curl in opposite directions, so that all curls go away from or toward your face – an effect I was never able to achieve with a curling iron for reasons I still don’t understand. Because I like it so much, and because Carla does not love the idea of me keeping it in MY bathroom, I think I need to get a separate one for myself.

I think I’ll curl my hair for the dressy event.