Sunday Randomosity: Mainly About TV But Also a Little Christmassy with a Soupçon of Melancholy Edition

I seem to have a bit of a NaBloPoMo hangover, and I MISS EVERYONE.

It is early and I am awake, so here’s some Randomosity for you this Sunday morning:

  • I have yet to put up a single Christmas decoration.
  • However, Carla and I have begun reading Christmas stories. She rejected the Christmas countdown reading calendar, which makes me sad. Her reasoning was that she doesn’t like being “forced” to read things, which… girl. It’s a paper calendar. We can have the calendar and color it and ignore every single word on it and no one will know or care. But she hasn’t really figured out the line between Follow The Rules and Some Rules Can Be Bent yet, and I suppose for now it’s better that she leans to the left on this one. 
  • I’ve collected a few books from the library but for now I am reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson to her. She seems to enjoy it so far – it is quite humorous. I had forgotten that there’s quite a long section about making fun of fat kids, which is so gross. I feigned a coughing attack while I quickly skimmed the text until I got to a less objectionable passage. “Wow, you should win a world record for that,” Carla remarked. I’m not sure she meant I should win a world record for the subterfuge or for the coughing attack, although I hope she meant the latter.
  • It’s not typical that I censor my kid’s books. Sometimes I read her things that were once, unbelievably, acceptable and use them as Instructive Moments. But sometimes I just want to read a book to my kid. 
  • We’ve had a nicely Christmassy weekend so far. Yesterday, we delivered the letter she wrote to Santa; there’s a special mailbox in a nearby town and we go there every year. Sometimes, an elf will send her a letter in return which I think is so magical. Then we bought a gift for a friend and a couple of gifts for her cousin. Afterward, we came home and watched two Christmas movies, back to back. 
  • The first movie was Spirited, starring Octavia Spencer and Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds. I was not looking forward to it, I’ll be honest. First of all, it’s a new take on A Christmas Carol. Secondly, it’s a musical which is not usually my favorite genre. But it was so cute. I ended up loving it. It was a fresher version of the story than I’ve seen before, plus the songs were really cute and catchy. And there was a nice wholesome Christmassy message. Also: Octavia Spencer. She was a secondary character, which is a misuse of her considerable talent, but she kicked butt in the role and is just so adorable. It wasn’t quite appropriate for Carla, but it worked out okay. 
  • After that, Carla watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and I played games on my phone and then made us all cheese and cracker plates for dinner. An ideal Saturday. 
  • Once Carla went to bed, I watched Game Night. I think I read about this on a list of “Best Family Movies to Watch at Thanksgiving,” but then realized quickly that it wasn’t appropriate for a) children or b) watching with one’s parents. (This was an accurate assessment.) But as soon as I read about it, I needed to see it. How did I miss it when it came out in 2018? Jason Bateman! Kyle Chandler! Sharon Horgan! Chelsea Peretti! Jeffrey Wright! Other people! It’s about a game night gone horribly wrong and it was thoroughly entertaining. (My husband had no interest in watching it. His loss.) Kirsten Dunst’s husband (Jesse Plemons) was in it as well, playing a wonderfully creepy neighbor. It was not the best movie I’ve ever watched, but it was amusing and entertaining. There was a very uncomfortable scene with a gun, where the characters thought it was fake but it was real, and there was a scene where people seemed like they might vomit, and since those are things that I would want to know before I watch a movie I am sharing them with you now.
  • Maybe it’s clear that I’ve been trying to distract myself. I think I’m in the middle of losing one of my oldest and dearest friends. I’ve tried to write about it a few times, because it’s been at the forefront of my mind for a couple of months now. But it always comes out so maudlin. Plus, it makes it seem like I don’t realize that a) relationships of all sorts end for a variety of reasons, or b) both parties rarely get a say in the dissolution of a relationship. Plus plus, you only get my side, and of course I think that I should be forgiven, that my friend is misreading the situation or overreacting or not giving me the benefit of the doubt, that my friend is placing too much weight on third party interpretation of the inciting event, that I should be given another chance… which isn’t fair. (And doesn’t everyone feel that way, when they are the cause of a breach?) The thing is, I don’t think I can do anything about it. I’ve done what I can: I apologized, I tried to listen and improve, I’ve tried to show that I still value and want our friendship while trying not to put too much pressure on my friend to forgive and forget. I can’t do anything else. If my friend decides our relationship is unsalvageable, well. I can’t salvage it. I know all this, and yet it’s agonizing and deeply, horribly sad. So. Distraction. 
  • What is everyone watching, TV-wise, these days? My husband and I are between shows. We just finished Dahmer, which was okay – I was appalled to learn how he targeted gay men and men of color, because that was one aspect of the horror he perpetrated that has somehow eluded me. I appreciated that the series tried to devote time to telling the stories of some of the victims, and found their stories very moving. Niecy Nash was amazing in her role. But it also felt like a) there was too much effort to make a serial killer seem sympathetic or blameless for his actions and b) the show was aware how exploitative it was and yet barreled ahead anyway. I am more than ready for something new.
  • We also recently started watching Station Eleven, after I loved the book so much. The first two episodes have me actively disliking the show, though. They are just too different from the book. I should have waited a bit longer before watching the show, I guess – until the plot isn’t quite so fresh in my mind. Right now, I keep getting very huffy and impatient and “that’s not what happened!” I am sure it is a joy to watch it with me. Everything I’ve heard about it is that the show is really good, though, so I want to give it a chance. 
  • My husband sent me an article that made a compelling argument for watching 1899. It’s about a mysterious ship, people. Enough said. At least, that’s enough for me to want to watch it. 
  • To deviate from TV talk, I bought myself a pair of leggings from Loft on Black Friday. They are SO soft and I love them. So much that I wore them two days in a row. But by the end of the second day, the inner thighs were all pilly and gross. So disappointing. I get that my thighs are generous, but a pair of pants should last more than two days, I think.
  • I have to go to a holiday party. It’s for my husband’s work, and I get that it’s important for his staff etcetera, but I don’t wanna. Aside from the fact that I don’t like people, I don’t really know any of his colleagues or staff. Plus, I don’t know what to wear. My husband thinks I can just wear any old thing, although my instinct is, of course, to shop my way out my anxiety. Probably what I will do is wear black dress pants and a black blouse or maybe a burgundy sweater I bought more than a year ago for the only other dressy public event I’ve attended since 2019. 
  • But what I WANT to do, aside from exchanging my body and face for someone else’s, is to buy clothes that will transform me into a stylish woman who is at-ease around other humans. Something sparkly would be nice. 
  • In other Things I Am Shopping For news, I am on the hunt for a pair of comfortable boots I can wear while walking in the snow. Note that I did not say “snow boots,” although I wouldn’t be opposed to snow boots. But maybe what I am looking for is a pair of hiking boots? I have a pair of snow boots, and they are warm and comfortable enough, but if I walk around in them for any amount of time they chafe at my heels. A friend and I have pledged to walk every Monday, and another friend and I have pledged to walk on a less regular basis but still outside. So I need good, quality footwear that won’t hurt my feet and will keep them warm and dry.
  • This is where I say quietly that my feet have been feeling a teeny bit better. I have been babying them for a long time, and then I went for a walk with Friend 2 from the previous paragraph and we ended up walking for nearly five miles. My feet were in agony when I got home, but I stretched them as I do daily, and the next day they felt better than they have in months. So I have made an effort to go for some long walks this week – once for about an hour outside and another time for 90 minutes on my treadmill. I’m not saying I’m cured or anything, but I am cautiously optimistic. Maybe what my feet have been telling me all along is to get off my rear and WALK already. 
  • The other thing I have been doing is wearing shoes in the house. They are brand new shoes that have never seen the light of day, but it still feels very strange to wear shoes IN the house. My dad (who noted matter-of-factly that the only real solution for plantar fasciitis is time, and that no single solution works for everyone) (I was already gloomily getting that sense from everyone’s comments) recommended that I start wearing them. Also, NGS mentioned that she never goes barefoot. I really LIKE going barefoot, but I also like walking around without pain so…
  • We have been enjoying our Christmas countdown calendars. My husband got the three of us a No Exit calendar, because we like the mystery games. We have to solve little puzzles every day to figure out which door to open up next. Carla got a Jurassic World calendar, and each day she gets a new little figurine. She has two dinosaurs so far and a little person; she isn’t awake yet so I don’t know what she’ll get today. 
  • It’s rare that I’m awake before Carla on a weekend. She can sleep straight through her alarm during the week, but on the weekend when we have nothing to do, she’ll wake up at 6:00 or 7:00 sharp when some internal mechanism reminds her that she can watch TV. But I have been having trouble sleeping lately; I keep waking up too early and not being able to fall back to sleep. Sometimes I just go through phases, but this morning I blame the wind and sadness. 
  • Carla and I are trying to come up with some fun things to do over winter break. So far I have “make zimtsterne and sufganiyot.” I also want to make cranberry crumble bars. Carla and I have tossed around the idea of making chocolates, which was my tradition with my dad when I was a kid and has been something I’ve done inconsistently with Carla. But… there should be other items on the agenda besides baking, probably? What kinds of fun plans do you have for the winter holidays? Are there any traditions you like to do each year? 
  • My mother-in-law arrives this afternoon. The house is clean, but could use a quick tidy. We are going out to dinner tonight, so I don’t have to worry about making anything. But I should probably go give Carla’s bathroom a quick once-over and set out the guest towels so it feels fresh. Then perhaps I will address holiday cards and listen to Christmas music.

Well, that’s all I have for you on this blustery first Sunday in December. How is your weekend going so far?

Wednesday Randomosity: Some Small Updates Edition

Wow, do I hate the time change. It should have kicked in already, right? Instead, I still feel like I’m sleeping less and yet also sleeping late and it’s making me very grumpy indeed. You’d think I would be THRILLED at the news that the U.S. is planning to put an end to the time change. Instead, I’m apprehensive. What new inconveniences will NO time change insert into our lives? What can I say. I am bitterly opposed to change, even if said change means changing the time change. Better the devil I know, I guess. 

It has come to my attention that I may have forgotten to update you on a few small things here and there. Things that make literally no difference to your day-to-day well-being. And yet, for completeness, I am going to give some updates. At least, on the things that I remember I need to update you on. Perhaps, if there is something you have been eagerly awaiting an update on, or a Burning Question you have for me, you will mention it in the comments, and I will answer it. 

First of all, let’s talk cake. As you know, I did indeed order my own cake from a fancy artisan bakery for my birthday. It was only $35 (I had thought it would be in the $70 range, so $35 seemed like a bargain), and my interactions with the baker/proprietor were 100% via email (which made me love her even more). Carla and my husband happened to be with me when we went to pick up the cake, and Carla was aghast that I was going to see the cake before the appointed candles and singing time. I think this is because I always hide her cake from her until I bring it out with the candles glowing and her family off-keying “Happy Birthday” while she waits at the table. We didn’t do candles or singing for my birthday, which is fine. The cake was GORGEOUS. A sea of lemon curd, ringed by a crown of raspberries. Here, let me show you:

A THING OF BEAUTY

I want to stop there, because it was beautiful, and the lemon curd and raspberries were perfection. But I am sure you are wondering “How did it TASTE?” and there I start feeling a little discomfort. Because I want to tell you that it was perfection… but it was… well, it was almond cake, for starters, when I had requested vanilla. And the buttercream – which was applied in the exact right amount!! – was vanilla as well, when I had requested cream cheese. The layers were separated by both lemon curd and raspberry jam, which was a little odd, but I’d said I wanted lemon curd and if there were raspberries involved, I wouldn’t be mad about it, so she interpreted that in her own way. It was fine! My husband, who likes cake much more than I do, assured me it was a Very Good Cake. And I don’t want to be ungrateful! It was lovely! But it was not what I asked for. Oh well. It was still quite fun and I don’t regret ordering my own cake, or ordering it from this particular bakery. And it is infinitely better to not-love a cake when that cake was baked by someone other than your beloved husband. Edited to add: Okay, I am coming back here to say that it was much more than fine. It was a beautiful, well-made, gourmet cake. It was not exactly to my tastes, but that’s more on me than on the pastry chef who made it for me.

Dinners continue to mystify me lately. I continue to load up my cart with khaki pants and sensible cardigans. I have some pork chops, some tilapia filets, and some beef I can use for stroganoff or stir fry. I also bought a package of chicken, intending to maybe give chicken a go again. We’ll see. But even with all these perfectly serviceable foods in my fridge, I am baffled by what to make. It is currently 5:15 pm and I have NO IDEA what to make for dinner. UPDATE: We are getting takeout from the Lebanese place that does spicy cauliflower. We had tacos last night, and that seems to be the only meal that has ever existed. (Obviously, I could do stroganoff or stir fry, but those things seem much too complicated to implement NOW.) Tell me what you’re having for dinners this week, even though it is somehow already dinnertime on a Wednesday. I could surely use the inspiration.

Speaking of dinner, I have been returning to the stir-fry sauce suggestions post frequently, for ideas. So far, I have only tried yum-yum sauce (per several suggestions) and it was wonderful and rich and perfect with the shrimp I made. My husband also dug a jar of gochujang sauce out of the depths of a cabinet, and I used that on a stir fry one night. It was… okay. Good mainly for its novelty. I think I made a roasted gochujang chicken once many years ago, and the sauce was better in that capacity than it was on stir fry. I will be working my way through the rest of the suggestions, as they are all appealing. Well. Except for the peanut butter suggestions, because I do not care for peanut butter. But I still appreciate your suggesting them as options!!! My husband, for whom peanut butter is a Desert Island Food, would love them!

I can’t remember if I told you this already, so forgive me if I have: Mornings continue to be awful, but we have instituted a new system of rewards and consequences that may or may not be helping. A little. Carla gets a set amount of screen time on the weekends – two hours per day. So we are now tying her morning timeliness to screen time. For every minute past the appointed Leave The House Moment, her screen time is reduced by five minutes. For every minute she is early, she gets two minutes of additional screen time. This worked terribly the first week (she lost nearly all her screen time), and then much better the next week, and less well the next week. In advance of Spring Break, we have sort of relaxed the rules… but I am eager to pick it back up again after Spring Break ends. The best part about it is that I feel less involved in getting out the door, if that makes sense? Obviously, I still want to be on time! But having this system makes the whole thing feel kind of out of my hands, which relieves some of the stress of pushing and pushing and pushing. I don’t know. Ask me later if it’s helping my overall Morning Mood. It’s still too early to tell. 

In the same post linked above, I mentioned that I was fretting over what to do for my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary. A couple of people mentioned family photos and that idea kind of knocked me over as The Perfect Thing. But there were so many obstacles to get through to figure out if that were the right gift, or even doable! First, feasibility: we are celebrating the anniversary in a very remote location, so I didn’t know if photographers would be available. Turns out there are MANY photographers in the area, but most specialize in weddings. And that meant $$$. So the next obstacle was cost. I made several requests-for-quotes via online forms, and heard back from one photographer. And then I had to have a phone call with her, which you know I love. She was very nice and her pricing was absolutely reasonable. But then I felt I needed to get buy-in from my parents. Because what if they already had events scheduled for their anniversary weekend? Or what if the idea of dressing up and getting photos taken sounded horrible to them? I was very reluctant to “spoil” the gift – but I decided removing the element of surprise was far preferable to showing up with an expensive photographer and be faced with a group of reluctant subjects. My mother seemed very pleased by the idea, so I booked the photographer. And voila! Gift handled!

Speaking of gifts: I recently learned that my mother’s beloved clay focaccia pan? pot? dish? died a sad untimely death, and she is on the lookout for another one. I would love to get her one, as her birthday is coming up. But I have no idea what the original was like. The only specific I managed to extract from her was that it was CLAY, not cast iron. I have no idea if it was round or square or rectangular or what. And google is NOT helping me out here. A terra cotta cazuela looks like a good candidate, maybe… although I guess I was always under the impression that focaccia was Italian and not Spanish, so a cazuela is perhaps not the most authentic vessel. Or maybe a bread cloche would be better? I am really hoping that you know exactly the thing I need to buy for my mother’s focaccia making purposes. 

My daughter and I watched Turning Red together. While I am glad to have watched it, I can’t say that I LIKED it. Not true of Carla, who has since watched it an additional four times and has been playing 4*Town songs constantly on our Echo. I liked some of it. I liked that it was a movie that touches on the physical and emotional changes kids go through during puberty. (Although I did get a little caught up in trying to make “turning into a red panda” completely analogous with puberty/menstruation, which it is NOT.) I liked that it explored the complexities of mother/daughter relationships, although those parts made me cry. I liked that it showcased the importance of friendship. I liked the diversity of the characters, in race and body shape. And I liked the message that it’s okay to be yourself, even if that self isn’t exactly what your parents want you to be. But there were parts I didn’t love, also. I didn’t love that the main character (Mei Lee) lies and defies her parents… or that the message “be yourself” seems to condone both of those things, as well as other things like physical violence and disrespect. I didn’t love that the changes Mei Lee goes through are referred to as “upsetting” by the mother. (I mean, I get we’re talking about a girl who is literally changing into a red panda, which would be upsetting… but it read to me as though the parents found puberty/menstruation to be upsetting, which seems like the wrong message.) I was mad that Mei Lee’s mother was so heedless of her daughter’s privacy and private inner life. I didn’t love that Mei Lee (and, later, her mother) are so unwilling to be honest about their feelings that they end up lying to their mothers in ways that make things so much worse. And I found it just plain confusing that Mei Lee is fine with being herself, but literally ALL of the other women in her family go through with a special ceremony to suppress their own selves. Kind of a mixed message. Then again, perhaps I am expecting WAY too much out of what is simply a cartoon for children. No movie is perfect, and there is no reason THIS movie should be held to an unreasonable standard. It has plenty of commendable aspects, and my kid likes it. And it sure beats Puppy Dog Pals or The Suite Life of Zak and Cody.  Have you watched it? What did you think?

What are you watching, TV-wise, these days? My husband and I just started watching Severance on AppleTV. It is kind of like Office Space meets Black Mirror and I am hooked. In the universe of the show, a company called Lumon severs its employees’ minds in two. (This is a big controversial thing, in the show’s universe.) While outside the office, you are a normal person except that you have no memories of what goes on while you are in the office. While at the office, your mind is only aware of what goes on in the office; your outside life doesn’t exist. The main character’s best work friend leaves the company due to mysterious circumstances, and the main character tries to put things together both inside and outside of the office… without knowing what his other “half” is doing. It has some dark humor and some very dark moments and some very poignant commentary on grief and some extremely thought-provoking ideas about autonomy, and then there is the mystery of this company and what it does and why. The whole thing is totally captivating. 

What’s new with you?