We are slogging our way through Day 3 of America’s Next Top President and I am tired. Are you tired? My husband is so perplexed that I haven’t been sleeping well. Nothing happens in the middle of the night, after all! For some reason, even though I KNOW that nothing will happen overnight – and, you think that by saying “I know” I would be referring to my personal brain – my brain is on Constant! Alert! and shakes me awake every 2 hours or so just so I can remind myself that nothing is happening go to sleep. It’s fun.

During one of the intermittent periods of actual sleep, I had a dream that I was at some sort of political event and had been chosen to be in charge of Trump. I remember three things about the dream, which was very stressful, and those are: 1) The event, whatever it was, took place in a big school gymnasium, and there were all these long tables set up for people to sit at and eat, like during a post-service community potluck at church.  2) For some reason, I had been charged with sitting with Trump and keeping him occupied/company – which, obviously, would never happen. And I felt a great deal of pressure to Do Something, like this was my big chance to have a heart-to-heart with Trump and get him to see how divided our country is and persuade him to be more flexible and open-minded to viewpoints not his own. And, completely forgetting that I would never, ever in a million years be the person tasked with this important type of conversation, let alone that he would never find me remotely persuasive about anything, I was so overwhelmed by how crucial it was that I have this talk with him that I simply shut down, and we ended up discussing truly stupid things like how there are so many different types of mustard but really only one type of ketchup. 3) There were bowls and bowls of hand sanitizer placed all over the floor of this giant gym and as we were leaving – still without my having said ANYTHING persuasive or meaningful to Trump at all – he stepped right into one of the bowls, soaking his shoe and spilling the sanitizer all over the floor, and even though I was horrified, both of us pretended not to notice.

If that isn’t a glimpse into the delight that is my brain, I don’t know what is.

Instead of sitting in front of CNN for endless hours watching the Nevada and Pennsylvania and Georgia numbers creep up bit by bit, I went to Costco this morning. Costco makes me feel VERY uncomfortable. There’s my dislike of Costco in general, plus my desire to delay my next Costco visit as long as possible (and therefore to get everything I could possibly need NOW), plus the availability of large amounts of household staples that unleashes some sort of stockpiling panic, plus so many people milling about with their masks hanging over their noses, plus my desire to leave as quickly as possible while being forced to go up and down nearly every aisle to find the things I need… it all adds up to a lot of internal flailing. 

My Costco was pretty well-stocked. 

I snagged a box of LEGO pieces for Carla as well as some long underwear for her to wear when it snows. 

Delight of delights, there were five-packs of actual Clorox wipes. I was so excited! There was no sign in front of them limiting the number you could buy, so I texted a friend and asked if she wanted me to grab a pack for her. But then, because I am by nature a Rule Follower, I asked a staff member and he said that there was indeed a one-per-person limit. Well. My friend and I can split the five-pack between us. (I did notice a few people grab two or three packages, and I hope they were told about the limit at the checkout.)

There were also packages of Lysol disinfectant spray. It’s not the type of cleaning spray I normally buy, so I initially walked right on past. But as I was adding two big packages of coffee to my cart, I decided I had better grab some. Reliable (or maybe I should say familiar) cleaning products have been so hard to find, and so what if it’s not my exact preferred Lysol; it’s LYSOL, dammit, and I will use it. So I went back and grabbed some. 

There were none of the regular packs of Kirkland or other name brand paper towels; fortunately, I bought some at Target the other day, but I was checking for my friend. There were some utilitarian boxes of industrial-style paper towels though, and I overheard a staff person saying that they expect a paper towel delivery tomorrow. 

There was plenty of toilet paper and facial tissue. 

Toilet bowl cleaner was in stock, so I grabbed a four-pack.

I did not see ANY soda; usually I buy a big flat package of 36 or so cans of Coke Zero, but I didn’t see any of those packages at all.  Someone in line had a pack of LaCroix, but I wasn’t looking for sparkling water so I didn’t bother to check.

There was a huge stand-alone “aisle island” of hand sanitizer and off-brand sanitizing wipes. 

I did not look at ALL at the meat, so I can’t speak to availability. Chicken has been back in stock at my grocery store, so I don’t feel like I need to stock up.

There was a big display of large bottles of vanilla extract; I had a moment of panic, like, “Does Costco know something I don’t about an impending vanilla shortage?” But I managed to prevent myself from grabbing one of the bottles. (We just got a fresh bottle from Penzey’s, so I feel like we will be okay for awhile.)

I walked nervously past the very well-stocked aisle of flour and other baking products. I definitely do NOT need a 25-pound bag of flour, but man was it hard to just keep walking. I have plenty of flour and sugar. PLENTY.

The one thing I really wanted to find and didn’t was a package of chocolate globes that you put in hot milk, and, when they melt, a bunch of marshmallows spill out. Carla would LOSE HER MIND if I bought her something like that. Alas. 

Also, my Costco had completely eliminated the books/magazines section. I am assuming (hoping?) this is temporary, but it was very weird not to be able to scan through box sets of Judy Moody books and discounted hardcover bestsellers. 

The only other notable thing about my trip was that there is a new self-checkout section. Since my cart was pretty full, I didn’t use it (although that didn’t seem to be deterring others). But it is a nice addition, especially because there were two staff members helping direct the line and scan items and helping people in general.

Now I have put everything away and I feel like my house is well-stocked. I’m ready. For WHAT, I don’t know. But if we have to stay home for two weeks or if we are discouraged from leaving our house except in emergencies, I think we’d be fine for quite a while.