I love flowers as much as the next person. Despite facing various and sundry obstacles, including but not limited to disrespectful rabbits, a black thumb, and a flower-hungry herd of suburban deer, I planted flowers in containers for my front porch and back yard. 

Part of this is flower envy. Many of my neighbors have beautiful yards, full of gorgeous flowers. One neighbor planted a border around all their shrubbery of alternating yellow and orange marigolds, and it is so cheery and I ogle it every time I’m out on a walk. 

But I have noticed that some people take a… different tack when it comes to flowers. 

They are going the fake route.

A few years ago, back when I was in a book club, a friend and co-book club member would regale us with stories of her next door neighbor. Among many other quirks, her neighbor was notable for “planting” artificial flowers in her yard each spring. 

We thought this was a remarkable and unusual behavior, specific, perhaps, to this one person.

But it is not, Internet. It is NOT.

I first noticed fake flowers at one house on my walking route a few years ago. (They have since moved, or come over to the dark side of fresh floral arrangements.)

But this year, I’ve noticed more and more artificial flora cropping up around the neighborhood.

This house nearby recently built a fence/gate thing for privacy… and filled in the gap with some fake flowers. 

I drive around a small traffic circle each day and noticed recently it had been spruced up for Independence Day. With fake red-white-and-blue flowers. 

Another house on my route has a wide array of fake flowers in various sections of their yard… but also, some living flowers in their side yard. 

Listen, no judgment. Mild amusement, maybe. But you do you, boo. 

After all, there’s much to be said for artificial flowers. They are eye-catching. They are probably less expensive than fresh flowers. They take way less time to reach their full potential than growing flowers from seed. They are GUARANTEED to be bright and colorful year-round. They never wilt or require weeding. They are extremely drought tolerant. And deer and rabbits don’t have a taste for them (yet). 

If artificial flora makes your heart sing, then by all means, let your fake flower flag fly.