Where are all the spoons?
We have a spoon thief in our midst. Or a spoon exodus. Spoon seepage.
I don’t know where they are going, or why. We don’t eat food anywhere in the house that’s not the kitchen, so I can’t imagine they are scattered throughout the house like some sad scavenger hunt. My husband brings a spoon with him to work every day, but he’s meticulous (I almost typed maniacal which is probably also accurate) about swapping out the old spoon for a new one each morning, so I am certain he isn’t hoarding spoons at the office.
And yet, the spoons are evaporating as if into thin air! Six small spoons remain. SIX. By contrast, I have 16 large spoons, which makes me think we are down TEN WHOLE SPOONS. How? Why? Where? This seems to be a recent development – my husband estimates he started noticing the spoon sloughage in August. What happened in our lives in August that would result in mass spoon flight?
Six spoons is barely enough for the three of us. But when we have guests, it’s most definitely not enough. Four family members joined us last week for dinner, and I stupidly served crème brûlée for dessert. A dessert that requires spoons. To ensure we had enough spoons for dessert, I was strict about making sure we didn’t use ANY small spoons for anything else, even though we had all sorts of little dishes that required spoons: sour cream, salsa, guacamole, onions. I have a couple of tiny silicone-tipped spoons leftover from Carla’s babyhood that I used as condiment spoons. We also have a couple of random spoons that we added to our collection in various ways; I think one came with a lunchbox set? Another I may have had since college? And Carla somehow acquired a spork somewhere, so that was set into service as well. Still, despite my vigilance, I ended up eating my crème brûlée with a fork.
(I realize some readers may be wondering: why not just use the spoons for dinner, then handwash them before dessert? But that is not how I roll.)
Here’s another consideration: my husband and I kind of hate our flatware. I mean, we chose it, back when we got engaged. We both liked the style, we both liked the solidity and weight of each piece. But once we had all the sets of silverware in our possession, we quickly grew to despise them.
They are made by Nambe, and the metal quickly developed brownish spots. The website, if I recall correctly, said this was normal and we could get rid of them by doing… something. But the spots kept appearing and eventually I just gave up. They aren’t DIRT spots. As with many things you ignore, they have become invisible to me with time.
Worse is that the rounded sides of the handles make it impossible to balance/lean a fork/knife/spoon against a plate or bowl. They just… slide right off whatever edge you’ve balanced them on and into your food. Super annoying.
Worst of all is that each piece – whose heft we originally loved – is so heavy, things constantly unbalance and flip off the edge of plates or bowls and onto the floor, flecking everything in the vicinity with food. SO ANNOYING.
We have talked (grumbled) for YEARS about replacing our silverware. We’ve perused silverware sets in all sorts of retail establishments. But we always come back to: this silverware is perfectly serviceable and perfectly nice, we can’t just get rid of it and buy all new stuff. So we’ve soldiered on.
But now that the spoons have dwindled so severely… I’m wondering: is the spoon migration a good excuse for us to finally find new flatware? And if so, what would we choose? And if not, can I just buy more small spoons???? I suppose I should look into that, first. Hold, please. Nope, it seems that Nambe is no longer producing our nearing-twenty-year-old flatware. What would you do?
I have two full sets of flatware – one from our wedding, and then one that we had in this house before we moved and merged our silverware. Wait, no. We have THREE sets of flatware because my mother gave me a set when they downsized. So we have a lot. Where could your spoons be going? I wondered if Carla was the culprit – school and camp lunches – but that seems too easy. Maybe someone sneaks in and takes them in the night, like some weird gaslighting thing to make you go insane?
I mean, it HAS to be Carla, right? I have a lingering suspicion that the spoons are all hiding somewhere in the backseat of my car. (Have I tested this theory? No.)
Missing spoons! My first question is, have you asked Carla if she is using spoons in a crafting project?
Assuming that is not the case, I know what I would do where I live: check out local thrift stores and consignment shops, because the residents being of older age in Florida means I could probably find a good-sized set in one of those. (The “cleaning out after Mom died” phenomenon.) If you don’t have a good selection of those near you, I still think I would look into getting a new, inexpensive set (though I know, it’s probably not that inexpensive!). Yes, it’s a small thing and your set works-ish, but don’t discount the impairment to your quality of life with the constant little irritations. Imagine replacing all those little moments with happy feelings instead–that’s worth it!
The craft room is a NIGHTMARE so I wouldn’t be surprised if it has become sentient and is devouring the spoons itself.
Well that is a mystery, but I think it’s the Universe telling you it’s time to replace the set. Honestly the silverware sliding into food or off the plate would drive me SO crazy. (I could feel myself getting physically agitated just reading this!!) I hate that!! Did the designer not test it in actual dining use? I’d bundle the whole set up and put away for when you have a big crowd (or donate it) and buy a new set that is functional.
Right?! The designer just designed something aesthetically pleasing, not something PRACTICAL. It’s like how the designers of hotel rooms have never been in a hotel room before.
Ooh, I could tell by looking that those knives wouldn’t stay on the dinner plate, ever. I don’t know how you’ve survived this long, that would make me crazy. 😉
I say the spoon loss is definitely good reason for a brand-new set. (But I do hope you find them…? So weird!)
How have we survived this long, Lee?!?!
We are chronically short on spoons, and sometimes forks. We do eat all over the house, especially North, so I thought the problem would abate with them out of the house, but it hasn’t. Also, our flatware doesn’t match because we just keep replacing whatever’s missing piecemeal.
Aha! North is vindicated! (I suspect Carla.)
Definitely a good time to invest in new cutlery!
My children occasionally, accidentally, I’m certain, put their spoons in the trash along with their yogurt container or other food trash. It is always a shock for me to find when putting other trash in the can, and always leaves me wondering how many spoons/forks/knives I didn’t notice in time to save.
Okay, this feels like a real possibility. Also a BAFFLING possibility, but… kids are weird and oblivious.
We fell out of love with our everyday flatware from our wedding registry about 10 years in, I think. I got rid of them. (Donated them to a charity store). Bought a new set that we liked at a low price place around here that big department stores sell their things to if they don’t sell. (Like TJMaxx if you have those). When THOSE started going missing (specifically the small forks for us), I went to Replacements doc com and got some more forks, because I liked the flatware and didn’t want to get an entire new set. We go through a lot of little spoons, though they don’t go missing. When I cleaned out my Grandma’s house, I took a bunch of teaspoons, and we use them for our tea/coffee, thus making the ones that match last longer.
Long way of saying, your set will not go to waste. Donate it and buy yourself a set of something you like. And maybe some extra spoons.
Is it weird that I feel so protective of our flatware? Like, that’s OUR flatware, of course I won’t donate it! (It IS weird.) And also I feel pre-guilty about donating an incomplete set of flatware. I HAVE ISSUES, J.
LOL, put it in a box somewhere for Carla to take with her when she moves out someday. Also, I HEAR YOU. Our every day dishes are SO 1993, and I think often about replacing them. But I feel protective (perfect word for it) so I don’t. I do sometimes think of putting them in a box for Maya if she ever decides to move out, but haven’t gotten to it yet. I thought we might buy a new set for our 25th anniversary, but didn’t. Then for our 30th, but again, didn’t do it.
This is a common occurrence at my work. Someone recently posted this research paper https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7396985_The_case_of_the_disappearing_teaspoons_Longitudinal_cohort_study_of_the_displacement_of_teaspoons_in_an_Australian_research_institute
but the missing spoons have not returned. I think it is akin to socks going missing from the dryer.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is amazing! I mean, “teaspoon loss per 100 teaspoon years”
Ha! Can’t believe this is a (real) study?!
I think spoons get thrown away by accident (my kids when they help clear the table) or migrate to non-dining places (play-do kits, sandboxes, mysterious holes in the floor when my kids were little). We had a sudden loss of spoons, and the ones bought from Target online where HUGE – whoops! So I got the extra silverware from my mom’s house ( we had a big family, and a big supply of extras for holidays, so a shoebox full of sensible sized spoons and forks.) I would buy a new set of silverware that makes you happy, and put this stuff aside for extras or for when Carla goes off to college.
Okay, I do kind of like the idea of keeping the silverware and using it as backup silverware, rather than donating it. (AM WEIRDLY SENTIMENTAL ABOUT IT.)
I would keep it if it makes you feel better (it doesn’t even take up space), BUT ALSO because you might SUDDENLY FIND A SPOONS CACHE. And then you’d be so sorry you’d donated an incomplete set!! when you could have donated a complete set!! (…this is why we had to buy a house with a barn. Because I find reasons to keep things. BUT ALSO THIS MAKES SENSE, THIS IS NOT SILLY.)
*MUCH space. Clearly it takes up SOME space.
WE KEEP LOSING SPOONS TOO. IT IS SO ANNOYING. And! Our original silverware from Crate and Barrel is discontinued so we have been just buying random replacements at target and IKEA and how we have 16 matching SOUP SPOONS from our wedding and like 8 spoons that don’t even match each other AND OMG where are all the SPOOOOOOONS????
Right?! Where do they GO? And if it’s truly that they are being accidentally tossed into the garbage, which I could totally buy, why is it only happening to the little spoons? Why aren’t we seeing forks disappear, too?
I second (or third or whatever number we are up to) about spoons getting thrown away with the trash. I am constantly rescuing silverware from takeout containers that someone has closed up their silverware right into and then put in the trash. I’m sure I have not saved them all. It’s forks that go in my house though.
I would get new silverware. Buy a lot of it, all the same pattern, so that when the spoons disappear from this one, you have extras. Donate this batch and release it all from your mind.
I am trying very hard to adopt this Jen Zen Attitude, because you are so very reasonable. It may take awhile.
Like you we dithered about buying new silverware, then the heavens sang and I found some on sale at [wait for it] Kroger. A grocery store, of all places. The new place settings are modern, sturdy, and make me smile knowing I scored something timeless at a very reasonable price.
Oooooh! What an excellent find, Ally!
Get some Mikasa silverware from Costco. It serves 12 and is less than $200. Nice and easy!
I think the spoons have heard you complaining and ran away to give you an excuse to get something more practical. I hate when silverware jumps off plates and bowls, creating a bunch of food flecks. Sometimes I find the evidence of them much later on the walls. 🙁 I vote: Go for it!
Yup, we’ve lost spoons too. I think a few to lunchboxes – they went to school and never came home.
I’m not picky about things matching, so I bought some thrifted spoons (it’s only spoons we’re short on) last year that the kids could take to school but I could also run through the dishwasher (for a while we sent plastic cutlery which they brought home and I handwashed, but I have a dishwasher for a reason, right).
I say invest in a set you love. You won’t regret having cutlery stay on your plate. And maybe see if you can order extra spoons. They’re definitely the item that goes missing.
Somehow, as a fellow spoon-deficient person, I feel passionate about this issue. In my case, my family members take spoons and bowls from the kitchen to places around the house. Bowls are also a scare commodity, even though we own many! Also, we have an influx of school cafeteria flatwear. No one admits to bringing them home, but a number of cheap cafeteria spoons and forks have showed up in the kitchen. I think the kids use them at school to eat their lunch brought from home and then accidentally toss it in their lunch box at the end of the meal.
We have eight of everything – small and big spoons, small and big forks, table knives. We have a couple of serving spoons. We have ONE spoon that isn’t part of the set we got when we got married and that is the only spoon people are allowed to take out of the house (like, if you need a spoon for your lunch or something like that). It has to be Carla, right? Is she taking them for lunch or for a craft project or something? I don’t understand how silverware goes missing. (Socks don’t go missing in our house, either. We always know exactly where all the socks are.)
If I hated my flatware that much, I’d donate it and buy some new flatware! You can get nice sets at any thrift shop or just get some cheaper flatware at Target. If you want a genuine set of silver, let me know. My husband’s father gave us a set – sure it has a G engraved on it, but I offer it to you for free if you want it! 🙂
It’s a wonderful excuse to get new! We need to replace ours too. We are a few steps behind – we haven’t looked at anything new yet.
A conversation about flatware! I am here for this one!
Believe it or not, this was a phenomena that happened in this house many, many moons ago. Turned out Man-Child (in kindergarten at the time) was tossing his spoons out with the trash from his lunch box. Oh the logic of small children!
If you want to try to replace the spoons, I’d suggest looking at Replacements.com. That’s where I ended up finding replacements for my spoons.
But I do recall your previous comments about your unhappiness with your current flatware. Buy new. But keep the old as a backup; in case the spoons continue to go missing.
buy new ones you like and donate the old ones to a thrift store or charity shop.
Spoon flight! All that I can say for sure is that the spork will be the last to go.
I think this is the universe’s way of telling you to get new silverware for your 20th!
Two comments:
Oh, ABSOLUTELY buy new flatware. It would be nice to first solve the spoon-disappearance issue, lest the new set ALSO lose spoons. But for sure I would use this entire thing as a reason to replace the no-longer-pleasing flatware. I would buy it as an anniversary gift to each other, to make it romantic.
I HAVE A RELATED STORY. So, we have our regular flatware (12 of each thing), and then we have a set of, like, holographic/rainbow flatware (4 of each thing), which we keep in a separate drawer because they are my special/precious. ALL THE HOLOGRAPHIC/RAINBOW KNIVES ARE GONE. ALL OF THEM, SUZANNE. ALL FOUR. GONE. None of the other holographic/rainbow utensils are gone; none of the regular flatware knives are gone. Just the holographic/rainbow knives. GONE.
I have had this issue, but for us it was knives. I’ll be interested to hear if you ever solve the spoon dilemma, but I’ll tell you what I finally did- went out and bought a flatware set at Target. And we like it! It’s obviously not fancy, but it’s just fine and I like the feel of of the utensils- I like them to be somewhat heavy (although maybe not quite as heavy as the ones you’re describing) and these seem like the perfect weight to me. So- wherever you decide to shop, I would definitely get new flatware!
Oh no. I can relate, but as with most things, I blame the children. I suspect that is your situation too. I fear that my children accidentally over time tossed someone of our silverware out willy-nilly. We bought new silverware when we did our kitchen addition. We still LOVED our silverware and I was sad that they no longer made it. The new set is pretty similar to our former set. We have a shoebox in our basement kitchenette of our former silverware and some other pieces that were once my Mom’s. When I host Christmas, the shoebox gets hauled up from the basement.
I vote get a new set. The universe (and the brown spots) have spoken. 😉 I like J’s idea, put the old set in a box for Carla when she moves out.
I’ve found flatware under beds, in couch cushions, in the basement…UNDER CAR SEATS….
Gah, the missing silverware drives me bonkers! I seem to have lost TWO KNIVES that were in my knife block and I have no idea where they went. HOW DOES ONE LOSE KNIVES?! I am the only person here using my utensils. What is happening to them?!?!
Anyway, I can relate. But I only have myself to blame.
You should definitely get a new flatware set, but also, buy more spoons! About 5 years ago my husband went to a restaurant supply store and bought a ridiculous number (20? 50?) of metal tasting/demitasse spoons for a shocking low price, and now there is spoon abundance. For tasting! For serving condiments! For eating snacks! For annoying tiny bead or glitter related craft projects!
LIFE CHANGING. (my daughter eats a LOT of yogurt)
I would for sure buy new flatware or at least more spoon. We got a set when we got married and had some hand me down ones from Phil’s mom. We kept both sets of spoons since we are heavy users of spoons in this house. That is odd that they are disappearing, though! Where the heck are the spoons!!
SUZANNE. I have a plethora of big spoons and a weirdlly small number of little spoons too! What is WITH that?
I like our wedding stuff well enough, but I can’t for the life of me find a good basic set that I like at all. I am, to be fair, weirdly neurotic (okay, not that weird) about how I want my flatware to feel in my hand – how it looks is secondary.
I feel you. My little little (read espresso) spoons are disappearing. I used to have six now it’s one. I eat everything with it yoghurt, ice cream, deserts…
If you want to give your flatware a chance you could check craigslist or eBay to replace the spoons. I have realized that replacement items are usually found if you are not set on getting them right this second. I have also sold just lids for pots and stuff like that of they were a brand.
But of course you could just replace after 20 years.
We bought some china. We looked and looked and wanted to get some fancy timeless stuff and nothing was what we wanted. Ended up buying IKEA sets because we thought we can always replace broken things. Nope, discontinued and we actually hate it now. Sigh.
If you ever find out what country your spoons have emigrated to can you let me know… because mine are disappearing as well and there’s no rational explanation!
Where are everyone’s spoons GOING?! (The trash, is my guess.)
Our everyday set started dwindling a few years ago; maybe my lost pieces are off with yours have a great trip or something more scandalous?
I found a lovely LARGE set at Costco (can’t remember the brand) that we are so happy with. I also have our wedding flatware as a second set if need be. Good luck!
I want new flatware so bad. Our flatware is just a mix of hand-me-downs and Ikea, I think LOL and I hate it. Maybe it’s a good thing that the spoons are disappearing?