change-averse

Five for Friday
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Five for Friday

It’s the final Friday in September and I have a few things on my mind. Also, this post has a TON of parentheticals, just FYI.

Heads Up: Changes Afoot

Here’s what happened. Last fall, I had a little blogging existential crisis, to which you all responded with love and kindness as is your beautiful tendency. (I love you.) Then I had a chat with my husband about this here bloggy hobby. Then I bought a domain name in preparation for transitioning to a new blog. Then I sat on the new blog for FIVE MONTHS my god, you’d think the domain name would be “expertprocrastinator.com” because I am A True Expert in Not Doing Things in a Timely Manner. (What happened was I got overwhelmed, set it aside, kept setting aside, then couldn’t stop.) Then, this week, I finally took some time to migrate seventeen years of blog posts and comments to the new blog and figure out how to do things, like “add posts” and “muck about with CSS in ways that are sure to be disastrous.” And now I am finally nearly ready (“ready”) to shift you to the new space.

At first, I was all about starting fresh! New blog theme, new layout, blah blah. But a) I found it almost impossible to deal with a new blog theme/layout because I am no longer quite as agile with technology as I once was; b) the available WordPress themes seem to work best with photo heavy content, and I am not nor will I ever be a fantastic photographer; and c) even though the whole thing probably (hopefully?) won’t feel like a huge change to you, it felt, to me, like a new URL plus a new look was asking you to digest quite a lot.

All that said, my current blog theme has long been defunct. I was able to install a similar but not identical theme, so things will look a little different. Also, I am so poorly versed in web design that things are Quite Wrinkly; with lots of help from Google and much trial and error, I hope to iron out the worst wrinkles in time.

Starting next week sometime (I think? but also see above for a reminder about my True Expertise) (and also, do most people just institute the change rather than interminably dragging it out????) (I, if you have not already intuited this fact, am not good with change), I am going to try to redirect this site to the new one. I think the transition should be unobtrusive on your end… HOWEVER, you will need to update the URL in your feed reader and I also think you may need to resubscribe to emails if that’s how you access new posts. I’m sorry; if I can find a way to migrate the email list without you having to do anything, I will, but I haven’t looked into it yet. I know, I know; I’ve only had five entire months to look into it.

You can go check it out now, if you like, or add the new URL to your blog roll/feed reader: suzannedaybyday.com Please keep in mind that you may feel a bit like you’ve arrived at a wedding reception an hour early: piles of unironed tablecloths on the tables, half-filled vases surrounded by leaves and stem trimmings, boxes of candlesticks and centerpieces overflowing on every surface, people in decidedly NOT party attire running around. Hopefully it will all get sorted out, but it may take until the last minute.

Negroni Week

My husband informed me that it’s Negroni Week! I did not know that was a thing, but I’m on board for any week in which I can try a fun cocktail. The Negroni is a recent favorite of my husband’s. He ordered one during our trip to Canada that he said is the best Negroni he’s ever tasted. He thinks the difference lies in the vermouth; the brand, according to the restaurant website, is Carpano Antica. The other ingredients are gin, Campari, an orange, and ice. We have gin in our cupboards; gin is the Liquor of Choice in this household, as in my husband’s household of origin. I strongly recommended getting Bombay Sapphire, as that is the gin the restaurant uses. But my husband says that Tanqueray (which we already have) is more versatile a gin than Bombay. Not to mention, the prevailing advice seems to be that Negroni’s benefit from a strong, London dry gin (like Tanqueray). We’ll see. We did need to get a bottle of Campari, which I understand to be a bitter liqueur that tastes of orange peels. (Ew?) (I don’t think it’s intended to be taken on its own, but still.) We also needed an orange, and my husband ordered these fun ice cube molds. (We got the spheres, because we are boring. If you are a dog lover or, like, a Yale grad, perhaps you should get the bulldogs???)

The Negroni recipe is stupid simple: 1:1:1, ice, orange peel. But I might try Noble Pig’s version, which eases up on the bitterness quite a bit.

AI Encounter

A few months ago, I am pretty sure I spoke to an AI agent on the phone. This has happened a couple times since, but I never know know. Yesterday, I got a call from our HVAC company. The caller said their (its?) name was Shawn, and told me I was due for an air conditioner check. The checkup would be completely free since it’s covered as part of my annual membership. “I just got a brand new air conditioner,” I told Shawn. “Do I really need a check up?” (I am 90% sure that I already had this conversation with someone, by the way.) Yes, Shawn assured me, I did need a checkup, even on a new air conditioner; it was good to assess how the new unit had been performing in the months since we’d had it installed, and, not to worry, the cost was covered under my membership. “Okay,” I said, not entirely convinced, but whatever; that argument made sense. “Don’t I have a furnace inspection coming up?” My thought was to try to combine the two inspections if possible. You sure do, said Shawn. You have a furnace, water heater, and air conditioner check scheduled for next week, in fact. I blinked a couple of times, waiting for Shawn to hear the words that had just been uttered. Shawn did not catch up. “So… the air conditioner inspection is part of the appointment that I have already scheduled?” Yes indeed, Shawn told me. And asked if I needed anything else, as though I had been the one to initiate this completely pointless call.

 The experience, short and not-particularly-awful-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things as it was, kind of boiled my beets. What a waste of time – mine, and that of whatever hapless technician Shawn was clearly going to book to do a superfluous inspection of my air conditioner.

I am left with two questions. One: Is it okay to ask if someone is an AI? I don’t think I could do it, actually; my fear of offending someone is too great. But also, shouldn’t an AI agent announce itself? That is not my second question, although maybe it should be. Two: Would it be wildly Karen-ish to contact my HVAC company and tell them I want them to stop using AI agents to contact me? Eh, probably it is wildly Karen-ish and I should ignore the impulse. Well, there you go. I answered my questions for myself. I’d still be interested in your thoughts, though.

Impulse Bulbs

The other day, I came across the bulbs display at Costco. I love flowers so very much and, before I knew it, two packages had made their way into my cart (giant allium and narcissus, $15 each bag). Now that I’ve broken the bulb seal, I want ALL the bulbs. I got too few, for sure, and I keep spotting little empty places in our yard where bulbs would look beautiful popping up in the spring.

Keep in mind that I have not yet planted the bulbs I already purchased. I should probably get on that. But I don’t know how. I mean. I could watch a YouTube video or look it up in a library book or online, so the knowing how is only a few keystrokes away. But maybe I need to buy some bulb planting tools in advance, just in case? Like this little guy? Ooooh… or there’s this tool that seems to do EVERYTHING; it even promises to help me plant the annuals I can never resist in the summer. It is a little bit pricy though, at least in comparison to the bulb planter. There’s also an attachment for my drill, and it’s under $10. If I had seen this one first, it might already be on the way to my house, but the other tools seem to remove the dirt from the hole, and this one does not.

My biggest problem with bulbs is that so many (all?) of them are toxic to cats. So I will be admiring any and all bulb blooms from my house, and not bringing them inside to enjoy in a vase. Maybe what I really need to do is plant some Gerbera daisies, which are one of the few non-toxic-to-cats flowers that I actually like.

Ask Me Anything

San mentioned that November is right around the corner, and with it, NaBloPoMo. I am planning to participate this year, while reserving full rights to drop out at any time. But I am a little bit concerned that I won’t be able to come up with enough topics to achieve the requisite number of posts. To that end, I am resurrecting my Ask Me Anything form. Please let me know if you have any burning questions I can address via post.

 

That’s all I’ve got for you today, Internet. What’s on your mind?

 

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Changing the Way You’ve Always Done Things

First, Carla has begun referring to limes as “green lemons.”

Second, I don’t think you will be surprised to learn that I don’t adjust to change easily. I mean, not THAT many people are all “Woo hoo, change!! Let’s tilt the world on its axis just for the hell of it!” so I am probably not the anomaly here.

I like to think of myself as a loyal person – once I find something that works, I stick with it. I like to think of myself as adaptable and flexible; I don’t need things to be perfect all the time! I can work with non-perfect! Also, I like knowing what to expect. I like routine. I like to be able to depend on something. My aversion to change is why I stuck with my first job for seven years, even after it became clear that we were no longer as great a fit as I’d hoped. It’s why I’ve kept my same Honda for nearly 15 years, despite the fact that it needs increasingly expensive “fixes” to keep it in running condition. It’s why I have a hard time imagining ever moving out of this house, even though it’s a little small and even though I DESPISE our tile floors and even though I would LOVE to have an actual mud room.

My philosophy – because it’s always been that way – is that if we’ve always done something a certain way, there’s probably a good reason for it and therefore NO REASON TO CHANGE.

All of this to that I have a hard time accepting – despite my advanced age and extensive experience – that sometimes, changing something – ON PURPOSE – can make things BETTER and/or EASIER.

Example 1: When I was… ten, maybe? my mother gave me the occasional responsibility of cooking for the family. She got me a cookbook – Kids Cooking: A Very Slightly Messy Manual – that I loved and remember fondly. For my chosen meal, I always made spaghetti with meat sauce. I always made it the same way: brown a pound of ground beef, add diced onion, minced garlic, and diced carrot, add pasta sauce, add Hunt’s tomato sauce, add dried basil and oregano, add splash of Tabasco, cook until you can wait no longer. THAT was just The Way to Make Meat Sauce. There were no deviations.

Until I met my husband. And the first thing he helped me change was the (store bought, jarred) pasta sauce I used. I’d always used Prego; it was the brand my mother used, I was accustomed to it, it was just how it was done. But it had tomato chunks in it, and so I had to put it through the blender before I added it to the meat and veg. My husband pointed out that Ragu is completely smooth. So – with great trepidation – we made the switch. Instantly better and easier!

And then I admitted to him that I hate the carrots. I dislike cooked carrots as it is. Plus, they are super annoying to dice. And I ended up picking them out of the sauce every time we made the meat sauce. So my husband suggested that I just not add them. What?!?! But… carrots were an INTEGRAL PART of the sauce! What about the flavor profile?! What about tradition?!

I stopped adding the carrots. Instantly better and easier.

Example 2: When I started hosting Thanksgiving dinners, I bought a potato masher.

When the potato masher wasn’t in use (you know, 364 days a year), I would stow it in the Random Utensil Drawer. Do you have one of those? It’s not the silverware drawer, where you keep the forks and spoons and knives. No, it’s the drawer where you stuff all the other random things you use rarely or never: the lemon juicer, the grapefruit knife, the zester, there must be some non-citrus tools as well… oh yes! The whisks, the garlic press, the can opener, the pizza cutters, the offset spatula, the regular spatulas, the miniature spatula, so many spatulas. What the hell else is in there? There are WAY more things cluttering up my RUD. Who knows. Anyway. That’s where I kept the potato masher. It was very cranky and easily offended. I mean, if it got twisted at all, it would prevent the drawer from either opening or closing. Worst was when the drawer wouldn’t open. Then you’d have to stick your hand in as far as you could and try to maneuver things around in the drawer to see if you could get the masher to lie flat. It was very frustrating.

But that’s WHERE THE MASHER LIVED. Its home was in the RUD. That’s just how it was done.

When my mother came to stay with us after Carla was born, she noted that the masher was really irritating, and I agreed but sort of shrugged because what can you do, right? It’s just how it was.

My mother, bless her bravery, MOVED THE MASHER. She put it in the little bucket that holds all the tongs and the ladles and pancake turners etc. that lives on the counter near the stove. And lo, the RUD opened and closed, and lo, the sun continued to rise in the east and set in the west, and life was instantly better and easier.

 

I think about these lessons a lot. A lot a lot. Whenever something annoys me about the layout of my house or about how I’ve set up my cupboards, I think, “It doesn’t HAVE to be that way! I can CHANGE THINGS!” I haven’t actually made any changes, but I know that I CAN, should I choose to.

Like sometimes, I think about how great it would be if we could get rid of 85% of the cups on the top shelf of the cups cabinet. We use about 5% of the cups up there, and then there are 10% that we use on a very occasional basis. But the rest are just… sitting there, taking up space. I could get rid of them! Or move them into a box!

Or! Carla’s crafts (workbooks, sticker books, crayons, drawing paper, paint supplies, play-doh) live in two separate places: an armoire in our dining room and a curio cabinet in our kitchen. The armoire has some other things in it and the curio has a bunch of odds and ends in IT. I don’t know if those are the correct furniture names, but whatever. Sometimes I think about how I could totally consolidate ALL of Carla’s craft supplies into ONE of these furniture items! And either pack away, get rid of, or move the other odds and ends!

Even the prospect of changing things from the way they’ve always been is truly liberating.

Of course, the actual effecting change is not quite as simple. But still. LIBERATING.