Chief Complaint

by

Wednesday Randomosity: Various Small Updates and Summer Shopping Edition

My darling cat is OBSESSED with going outside. At least, I think that is the reason he now meows at me all the time. Even though taking him outside makes some people extremely nervous (Hi Mom! I love you!), I persist for two reasons: 1. I want him to be familiar enough with “outside” to know where his house is, if he ever gets outside by accident, and to feel like he is not in a completely alien environment, and 2. I am in constant search of “enrichment” opportunities for him, and being outside is a great way to tire him out.

He wears a harness and I hold tightly to it at all times. His top favorite outdoor activities are rolling luxuriously on the pavers, watching birds, sniffing the air, and trying to eat various grasses and leaves that I’m SURE are poisonous. (I do not allow him to do this last thing, in case you were worried.)

Guess what? The GRILL IS GONE!!!!! I paid a junk removal company to remove it, along with some other junk we had lying around, and they removed all the junk and I feel so light and free! Worth every penny.

In other outdoor updates, my mystery plant is beginning to flower. Lauren says it is probably a phlox, and I would trust Lauren with my life in a plant-related situation (quite possibly in several other situations as well, which feels like a weird thing to say about a person I know solely through the internet, but here we are), and I am super eager for the flowers to bloom so we can know for sure.

Meandering along with more plant talk, I have serious flower envy. I feel like my flowers bloom later and with less abundance than my neighbors’ flowers, and I want to know their secrets. One of my neighbors has several hydrangeas in front of her house and they are in full, glorious bloom, while mine are barely eking out a blossom here and there. Surely there is something I could do, involving fertilizer or plant food or gentle lullabies, but I am reluctant to mess with plants that are at least growing. My lavender is looking lush and gorgeous, and my astilbe is flourishing this year like never before, and my magnolia tree is putting out gorgeous and fragrant flowers, so I should probably stop complaining.

You know what else is flowering? Yes, I am still talking about plants. The three zucchini plants I grew from seed. And yet, they are only producing male flowers! WTF?!

Okay, one more plant topic, which is that I immediately bought the grow lights that Kate recommended for my indoor plants and I am excited to set them up and see if they have any effect on my light-starved little friends. (The lights are on sale for Prime Day, and I will note that the sale is for $55.97, down from $79.95, and I paid $63.96 for them last week.)

Oh, I lied. I have ANOTHER plant update, which is that I went searching for replacement palms and ended up coming home with two giant ferns.

Let’s stay outside for a second and talk about summer essentials. Even though I know all the reasons to avoid Amazon, I do find it convenient and cost-effective enough to continue using it. Especially when the other options are so much less convenient and/or more expensive and/or don’t have the things I need. I feel guilty about this; I continue to search for ways to reduce my reliance on Amazon; and I still use it. Anyway. Prime Day is this week and so I’m taking the opportunity to load up on some summer essentials. Refills for my Thermacell mosquito repellent are at the top of the list. (By the way, if you don’t have one yet, it is on sale for $19.79; I got it for my parents last summer for $32.99. I love this thing so much because it works. It’s an excellent housewarming or hostess gift for people who spend a lot of time outdoors.) Another summer essential is my favorite moisturizing face serum with SPF. It is SO GOOD. I wear it daily. My favorite summer drink these days is a half-and-half mixture of grapefruit sparkling water and Trader Joe’s jalapeno limeade. SO GOOD.

Of course, as I’m adding bug repellent and sun repellent to my online cart, I am also perusing some of the things I’ve been dithering over for a long time. Namely, solar fence lights and some floating pool lights.

As you can tell, I am an excellent consumer. My husband said the other day that sometimes it feels like all we do is spend money. Does it feel that way to anyone else? Because it DOES feel that way. In part, there was some frenzy of last minute purchases to prepare Carla for camp. And then there was some Father’s Day gift buying. And then some gifts for Carla’s upcoming birthday. Plant stuff. Food and litter for the cat. Groceries. Birthday gifts for a friend, baby gifts for my housecleaner, new home gifts for my friend who just bought her first house. Prescriptions. Gas. And that’s just STUFF stuff, not bigger picture things like utilities and travel plans and, like, insurance. I am grateful to be able to buy the things we need. I am mindful that it feels like A Lot, and my husband and I are looking for ways to cut back.

Speaking of spending money AND of Carla’s birthday: We are having a skating party at the roller rink followed by a slumber party at our house. I think Carla is into the idea of a 90s theme for her party, which I am extremely delighted to get behind. I am imagining party favor bags full of Koosh balls and slap bracelets and tiny troll dolls and hours of playing Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board.

Something else that has been on my mind, totally unrelated to anything else, is Class Dynamics. Specifically, when the teacher goes around the class and expects each person to make a comment on whatever it is you’re studying that week. I hate that. First of all, there’s the part where I have to speak, out loud, to other people. Even if I have thoughts on the subject at hand, there’s a good chance those thoughts will get garbled on the way out, and/or I’ll talk too fast, and/or I’ll jump around incoherently, and/or I’ll say something that doesn’t sound out loud the way it does in my head, and/or I’ll try to be funny and it will not make sense. Secondly, I hate speaking first, because there’s so much pressure on that and also it feels like being a goody two shoes… but I also hate speaking after other people have gone, because by then my exact points will for sure have been stated, in a clearer and more interesting way. And I cannot think on my feet; no way, if I know that we’ll be going around the room, I will have prepared my response WELL in advance. Thirdly, I hate it when the instructor either doesn’t respond to your comment, or responds with something like “thank you” or “okay” when it seems like she responds to everyone else with “good point” or “I was thinking the exact same thing.” Fourthly, I hate “going round the room” in general, because there’s no connectivity! The whole point is to say something different from everyone else, and so you’re not having a conversation, you’re giving a presentation, and I hate that.

See, this is why I distract myself with plants and purchases. Because dealing with other humans is TOO FRAUGHT.

Lest we end on such a weird an anxious note, let us turn our gaze once more to my cat. Carla’s new pajamas (birthday gift) arrived the other day and I opened the box on the counter and Lenny was CERTAIN I was doing something Extremely Interesting that he didn’t want to miss. Sure enough, I had revealed a perfect resting spot.

by

Three Things Thursday

I am incapable of launching into bullets without some sort of preamble.

New Summer Salad

I made a new-to-me summer salad to take to a friend’s dinner party the other day. A+, delicious, automatic new fave. Of course, because I am incapable of following a recipe as stated, I added blueberries as well. The other slight variations I made, based on recipe comments: I used nectarines instead of peaches, walnuts instead of pinenuts (walnuts are $5.99 at my grocery store; pinenuts are $8.99) (I forgot that I could use pinenuts to make pesto, so maybe I should have shelled out the $8.99), and I added a half teaspoon of honey to the dressing.

Oh! Since I was taking this salad on the road, I had to experiment a little with the best way to keep the nectarines and basil from browning. For the basil, I coated the leaves in a tiny bit of olive oil and gave them a quick chiffonade with a pizza cutter. Then I threw them in a salad bowl with the dry arugula.

For the nectarines, I mixed together two tablespoons of honey and two cups of water, then added the cut nectarines to the mixture for five minutes. After the timer went off, I drained them in a colander, rinsed them with cool water, and laid out them out between two dish towels to dry. Then I popped them into a Tupperware container with the blueberries.

(I found both the honey water and oil coat strategies via multiple sources online, and I was very grateful they worked.)

About five minutes before dinner, I added the dressing to the arugula and basil and tossed everything together until the greens were lightly coated. Then I added half the fruit, nuts, and goat cheese, added a bit more dressing, tossed, and topped with the rest of the fruit, nuts, and goat cheese. It was very tasty and summery and light. I will say that the basil flavor didn’t really pop out at me. I wonder if it all fell to the bottom of the salad bowl? Next time I will do a better job of dispersing the basil throughout.

I was super pleased with how well the nectarines lasted. Here is a photo of them the next morning.  The honey/water combo did not alter their flavor or texture at all.

Hmm. This isn’t the most persuasive photo. I will have to try a before and after at some point. In the meantime, just trust me that they looked and tasted as fresh as the instant I cut them.

Plant Problems

I am feeling some botanical despair. I love plants, and I have accumulated quite a few over the years. But they are not loving their lives, and I feel responsible. I am responsible. They remind me of Heidi, wasting away in Klara Sesemann’s urban mansion, longing for the sun and sky and trees of her grandfather’s alpine cottage. (Why yes, I am reading Heidi to Carla right now.)

Our house is full of windows, and yet it is not particularly sunny. Worse, possibly, is that the areas available for plants are on the north side of the house and get the least light.

I have tried to do my research and buy only plants that supposedly enjoy low light. And yet… they are leggy and/or dead. Even the African violet I bought – which is supposed to thrive in very little light! – is just barely living.

While part of me aches for these poor living things that are trying so valiantly to hang on under my poor care, and wants to nurse them back to health, I have TRIED. I have googled, I have bought special plant food, I have moved them around to different parts of the house, I have repotted several of them. I have babied them, I have left them alone. Nothing is working. Perhaps it is time to replace them? That feels so harsh!!! And also kind of fruitless, because I fear that the replacements will just die anyway.

You know what IS thriving? This mystery plant in my backyard. We had some landscaping work done last fall, moving things around, thinning things out. This space used to hold an enormous hydrangea that was completely overgrown and so old only the very tips were green. We moved some hydrangeas from the front of the house and they seem to be adjusting well to their new home. We also planted a vibirnum in the place where the old hydrangea used to be. Then, this guy showed up.

Wow, two for two on really unhelpful photos today. This plant is approximately four feet tall (so far), has no scent or milky sap, a round stem, multiple stalks coming from the same base, has very gentle fuzz on the leaves and stem, and, from above, has non-serrated leaves with a very pronounced whorled leaf pattern. There are no buds as yet.

I have NO IDEA what it is. It’s acting like a perennial that belongs there, but I have never seen it before. It’s possible that the previous homeowners planted it a long time ago, but then the old hydrangea took over and bullied this guy into submission. Now that the old hydrangea is gone, this little guy can finally shine. This little imaginary scenario, plus some extensive googling, has me thinking it’s a plant and not a weed. My current very non-expert guess is that’s something called an “obedient plant” or some kind of phlox or maybe some kind of aster. I guess we just wait and see if it produces flowers. Unless… do you know what it is?

Physical Therapy Update

I have been seeing a physical therapist twice a week for six weeks for tennis elbow, and just this week I moved to one time a week for the next four weeks. The reduction in pain and the improvement in mobility has been tremendous, and I am so pleased with the experience. Physical therapy is MAGICAL. I mean, it’s also expensive and hard work, but MAGICAL.

It is not, however, a cure. My physical therapist said his goal was for me to see an 80% improvement in pain/mobility. I have zero idea how a person is supposed to quantify such a thing; I still have no idea how to answer the “what is your pain on a scale of 1 to the worst pain you’ve ever experienced” question. But I will say that my arm is greatly improved, to the point that sometimes I don’t even think about it. Sure, I still have some soreness in my elbow. Sometimes I wake up and my arm aches for a while. I definitely still experience pain if I grip something wrong or lift something too heavy or don’t consider the best way to pick something up. But it’s SO MUCH BETTER.

Despite the improvements, it has occurred to me that I may not be able to resume lifting weights for a long time. I miss lifting weights, but I am also not eager to reinjure myself. So I have been dithering a long time about getting some of the same strength training equipment I use at my PT’s office. Two products are currently in my cart: a set of resistance bands with handles and a set of superlong resistance bands. In the office, when I do the exercises the PT prescribes, my arms get pleasantly tired and my muscles feel like they are being challenged. Working with resistance bands really does feel like a workout, even if I’m not sweating buckets or, like, grunting with effort. I am sure I could find some more intense routines online that I could adapt at home.

I’m not really sure why I haven’t just ordered them already. Maybe today.

Obligatory feline
by

Three Things Thursday

I have an exciting day of errands and a home improvement project with my dad and physical therapy in front of me, but I’m having a very hard time getting going. Here are three things on my mind.

Meeting People Never Gets Easier: No matter how old I get, I never find it easier to meet people. In advance of the meeting, I get SO NERVOUS. Like, cannot focus on anything else nervous. If I lose track of the time for five minutes and then realize that I haven’t looked at my watch to ensure I’m not late, my heart drops into my stomach nervous. And then during the meeting of the people, I feel like I vacillate WILDLY between trying so hard to Be Myself that I forget entirely what that is/feels like, and trying too hard in general that I come across as completely unhinged. Am I making too much eye contact? Am I laughing too loudly? Why am I trying to be funny when I am not funny and also this new person has no context for my sense of humor? Am I gesturing with my hands too much? Why did I say that? I feel like I should prepare a Suzanne Briefing Pamphlet to hand out to new acquaintances, so that they know I am 100% always this awkward, but the awkwardness will smooth out (at least a little bit) (I hope) over time.

How Does She Do It? I ran into a neighbor at the grocery store the other day. I was in athletic clothes and tennis shoes, I had brushed my hair and washed my face but didn’t have a lick of makeup on. She was wearing an adorable outfit, had a full face of makeup, and looked like she was ready to star in a commercial for that grocery store or perhaps accept a nomination to become the patron saint of motherhood. She is one of the most genuinely nice people I have ever met, she is involved at her kids’ school, and she has five children. (The oldest is Carla’s age.) Listen. I know comparison is dumb and useless. And also, I want to know HOW??? Like, what does her morning look like, that she has time to get five children off to school, but also has time to make her hair look like that and do her makeup and choose the cutest outfit? I feel like you are going to say prioritization, but also, that can’t be the only explanation???? There are occasions when I need to be presentable first thing in the morning, and I manage it, but just barely. The most recent time I put on Real Clothes and makeup (and by “makeup” I mean mascara and eye balm), we left the house fifteen minutes late. I wake up at 5:30! I don’t even exercise or shower in the morning! All I do is tend to the cat, make and drink tea, wake up my child, make breakfast, pester my child to get out of bed/get dressed/eat breakfast, throw on some exercise clothes and do the bare minimum of hair/skin/dental care. Maybe this other mom’s kids actually get out of bed when she wakes them up, and maybe she doesn’t make them breakfast, maybe she is always fifteen minutes late, and maybe her husband is also helping with Morning Stuff? I know they don’t have a cat, but THAT CANNOT BE THE RATE LIMITING FACTOR. I’m not even jealous. I’m just perplexed. Okay, I’m also jealous. But I really want to know HOW.

Cleaning Project Success(es): I finished my Big Cleaning and Organization Project this week. It took seven hours and resulted in five enormous black trash bags full of trash. There is still a clothing organization element I have yet to complete. I find that memoirs are the ideal content for me whilst undertaking projects of this nature, and I listened to The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop and unSweetined by Jody Sweetin while I worked. Both books were narrated by the authors, which I loved. I enjoyed them both immensely. (I also tried both You Never Know by Tom Selleck and Paris by Paris Hilton, but they didn’t do it for me so I moved on.) After I’d shut the door on the clothing aspect of my big project, I undertook a smaller cleaning project: my desk. Somehow – probably because I tend to sit in my cozy armchair to do any actual writing – my desk becomes a repository for all manner of things, from receipts to coupons to things I need to return and books and old Halloween decorations and wrapping paper and bat mitzvah invitations and more. It had gotten to the point of overflow that my cat would knock multiple things onto the floor every single time he jumped up onto it. Often in the middle of night, jarring me from sleep with a pounding heart until I realized the sound that had awakened me was not a murderer but Lenny displacing a box of highlighters and handful of carpet samples. Anyway, it was time to clean it and clean it I did. Shall we place bets on how long it takes before my desk is once again overcome with stuff?

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. I am going to go put on makeup and Real Clothes and do the things I need to do.