audiobooks

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Three Things Thursday

I have an exciting day of errands and a home improvement project with my dad and physical therapy in front of me, but I’m having a very hard time getting going. Here are three things on my mind.

Meeting People Never Gets Easier: No matter how old I get, I never find it easier to meet people. In advance of the meeting, I get SO NERVOUS. Like, cannot focus on anything else nervous. If I lose track of the time for five minutes and then realize that I haven’t looked at my watch to ensure I’m not late, my heart drops into my stomach nervous. And then during the meeting of the people, I feel like I vacillate WILDLY between trying so hard to Be Myself that I forget entirely what that is/feels like, and trying too hard in general that I come across as completely unhinged. Am I making too much eye contact? Am I laughing too loudly? Why am I trying to be funny when I am not funny and also this new person has no context for my sense of humor? Am I gesturing with my hands too much? Why did I say that? I feel like I should prepare a Suzanne Briefing Pamphlet to hand out to new acquaintances, so that they know I am 100% always this awkward, but the awkwardness will smooth out (at least a little bit) (I hope) over time.

How Does She Do It? I ran into a neighbor at the grocery store the other day. I was in athletic clothes and tennis shoes, I had brushed my hair and washed my face but didn’t have a lick of makeup on. She was wearing an adorable outfit, had a full face of makeup, and looked like she was ready to star in a commercial for that grocery store or perhaps accept a nomination to become the patron saint of motherhood. She is one of the most genuinely nice people I have ever met, she is involved at her kids’ school, and she has five children. (The oldest is Carla’s age.) Listen. I know comparison is dumb and useless. And also, I want to know HOW??? Like, what does her morning look like, that she has time to get five children off to school, but also has time to make her hair look like that and do her makeup and choose the cutest outfit? I feel like you are going to say prioritization, but also, that can’t be the only explanation???? There are occasions when I need to be presentable first thing in the morning, and I manage it, but just barely. The most recent time I put on Real Clothes and makeup (and by “makeup” I mean mascara and eye balm), we left the house fifteen minutes late. I wake up at 5:30! I don’t even exercise or shower in the morning! All I do is tend to the cat, make and drink tea, wake up my child, make breakfast, pester my child to get out of bed/get dressed/eat breakfast, throw on some exercise clothes and do the bare minimum of hair/skin/dental care. Maybe this other mom’s kids actually get out of bed when she wakes them up, and maybe she doesn’t make them breakfast, maybe she is always fifteen minutes late, and maybe her husband is also helping with Morning Stuff? I know they don’t have a cat, but THAT CANNOT BE THE RATE LIMITING FACTOR. I’m not even jealous. I’m just perplexed. Okay, I’m also jealous. But I really want to know HOW.

Cleaning Project Success(es): I finished my Big Cleaning and Organization Project this week. It took seven hours and resulted in five enormous black trash bags full of trash. There is still a clothing organization element I have yet to complete. I find that memoirs are the ideal content for me whilst undertaking projects of this nature, and I listened to The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop and unSweetined by Jody Sweetin while I worked. Both books were narrated by the authors, which I loved. I enjoyed them both immensely. (I also tried both You Never Know by Tom Selleck and Paris by Paris Hilton, but they didn’t do it for me so I moved on.) After I’d shut the door on the clothing aspect of my big project, I undertook a smaller cleaning project: my desk. Somehow – probably because I tend to sit in my cozy armchair to do any actual writing – my desk becomes a repository for all manner of things, from receipts to coupons to things I need to return and books and old Halloween decorations and wrapping paper and bat mitzvah invitations and more. It had gotten to the point of overflow that my cat would knock multiple things onto the floor every single time he jumped up onto it. Often in the middle of night, jarring me from sleep with a pounding heart until I realized the sound that had awakened me was not a murderer but Lenny displacing a box of highlighters and handful of carpet samples. Anyway, it was time to clean it and clean it I did. Shall we place bets on how long it takes before my desk is once again overcome with stuff?

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. I am going to go put on makeup and Real Clothes and do the things I need to do.

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Thursday Chit Chat

Oh hi there – I have a big mug of tea and a nice cold mango smoothie next to me and I’m feeling chatty. Care to sit a minute and catch up?

The first thing on my mind is that I have been doing some Spring Shopping. You know, because once again, I hate all my clothes and nothing fits or looks remotely cute. My first purchase arrived yesterday. I got some pants and a shirt from Quince. Have you tried Quince? One of my friends swears by them – and she is always beautifully dressed, so I have had Quince on my radar for awhile. I bought a pair of wide leg ponte pants, a pair of wide leg linen pants, and a plain white T-shirt. The shipping was remarkably fast and I was so excited to try everything on. 

The T-shirt feels amazing. It is so soft, but also feels substantial, somehow? Not flimsy, like some of those tissue Ts, which I guess is the fault of the Me and not of the T when “tissue” is right there in the name. I got it in white, and it’s not see-through, which I appreciate. What I like most about it is that it’s fitted. Most T-shirts these days seem to be so boxy, and I really need all the help I can get when it comes to approximating a waistline, so I like a shirt that is more fitted. Also! It’s not SHORT. I am long-waisted as it is, but everything is both boxy and short, and I like to keep my midriff covered; yes I know midriffs are In again, but my midriff had plenty of exposure in the 90s thank you very much.

The linen pants were lovely, but I am not keeping them. The material is soft and hangs beautifully, and they fit just fine. However, they had what I can only describe as a little pouch that cupped my lower tummy like a precious jewel. I mean, it FELT very nice, very comforting. My lower tum was free to be itself. The thing is… when it comes to clothing, I want my lower abdomen to be smoothed and disguised, not cherished. I do not need a pooch pocket, is what I’m saying. 

But the ponte pants. Oh my goodness. I may have ordered them in slightly the wrong size? Either that or they are designed for people who are more straight up and down than I am. But I love them so. They just FEEL so GOOD. The material is beautiful, they drape in such a lovely way, and they make my bottom half feel well-dressed. I don’t know that they are particularly flattering on my body shape, but they are so nice I am considering keeping them anyway. 

Anyway, I don’t know that I found the right Quince clothing for me, but I plan to keep trying. (And if you decide to try it, let me know and I can send you a $20 off $100 coupon!)

This talk of clothing reminds me that I did end up buying the anti-cellulite cream. It’s still early days, so I don’t know if it’s magically transforming my cellulite yet. But it does produce quite a lot of heat on the areas of application. I would describe the sensation as similar to the feeling of sitting in direct sunlight for a long time. It feels deeply uncomfortable, but not unbearable. The worst part, for me, is that sometimes it moves past hot to itchy. If it does help with the cellulite, it will all have been worth it.

I am in a bit of book slump lately. Usually, I have an audiobook that I listen to while driving/walking/puttering around the house, and I also have a book I read in bed before I fall asleep. My last three audiobooks have been a big flop, though. One of the books (bookshop.org / amazon) just hasn’t captured my attention; I’m 35% in and I think I’m going to DNF. I just don’t care about any of the characters and I think there was a murder, but it happened so long ago I’ve lost any sense of urgency about it. 

The other two books were DNFs because of the narrators. So maybe I will pick one or both of them up later, as physical books? The first is a book (bookshop.org / amazon) I really want to read, and I was enjoying it, but the narrator WHISPERS the entire time and at 54% in I cannot stand it anymore. I’m either missing crucial things or feeling irritated by the whispering and I just can’t do it. The next book (bookshop.org / amazon) was a new release that was on my holds list, either because someone recommended it, or it just sounded good – I’m not sure – but the narrator swallows audibly and I JUST CANNOT.

My husband is listening to Wellness (bookshop.org / amazon)  right now, and loves it. So maybe I will listen to that one next? 

I’m having similar issues with my physical books, though. I read through the prologue and first chapter of a book on my Kindle, and that was enough for me. It’s not like I have any sort of dearth of books on hand, but nothing is calling to me. What’s the last book you read or listened to that really gripped you from the beginning? 

That’s what’s on my mind this morning. What are you in the mood to chat about?