Will I ever write a single topic post again?
Some might say that I should make several small posts instead of grouping a bunch of small topics together in one post. I say, the heart wants what it wants and today it wants to jibber jabber about a bunch of random shit.
I am obsessed with my cat.
This is likely not a surprise to you. Lenny is The Best, and since I am at home a lot of the day, every day, he is my constant companion. I cannot tell you how much of my one wild and precious life I have devoted to looking up things to enhance his quality of life. Catios, toys, communication systems. One thing I read frequently about cats is that they love to be UP HIGH, and my cat has a cat tower in the kitchen and a window perch in my office and, of course, a balcony (surely the people who built this house had Lenny in mind). But I’m always wondering if we could do more. Maybe I need a floor-to-ceiling cat tower for my office or my bedroom or my kid’s room or the basement?
I mentioned recently that my cat has become obsessed with a grasshopper that attaches to his wand toy. Well, my daughter handed him the grasshopper and he absconded with it and now I have no idea where it is; either it’s gone forever, or it will show up someday under the oven or in my bed at three in the morning. Fortunately, I can buy grasshopper replacements! Which led me to these rabbit fur toys. How many toys does one cat need, Suzanne?!
Instagram is well aware of how much I adore my cat, and feeds me all the cat content. Lately, it seems like everyone is getting another cat, and oh how I would LOVE to have a friend for Lenny. My husband, who did not particularly want a cat in the first place and agreed to get Lenny purely out of love for me and our kid, is not on board. And I respect that. But also: I want a second cat. Much as many non-parents believe with their whole hearts that they will NEVER be the kind of parent to have toys lying around their living rooms, I was firm in my conviction that I would never have cat towers or cat toys cluttering up my space. And, just like those non-parents who do a complete 180 when they have a kid, I now spend long minutes staring at my walls, wondering how best I could incorporate a wall climbing system into our overall home design and daydreaming about teaming up with my dad to create a custom set of cat slash Other Things shelves – maybe this combined with this (or this or this)? – that would look elegant and natural on our walls but would also provide our cat with a new way to see the world.
Longterm projects to complete with a partner
Okay, moving on from my cat! My mom told me about a local challenge – sort of like a pub crawl, but without the pubs. We went to our first non-pub yesterday and plan to visit another one next week. I love that she suggested this joint activity: it gives us an “excuse” to get together, it encourages us to visit different parts of our community, and it supports local businesses. This is exactly the kind of thing I’ve been wanting to do with her, but a) I haven’t really known how or where to look for this kind of thing and b) nothing has jumped out to bite me.
I have to believe that there are other, similar types of activities that we can do together once we’ve completed this one. BUT WHAT??? Everything I come up with almost immediately hits a non-negotiable.
Visiting local museums seems like an obvious idea. Although I tire of museums quickly. Plus, they often cost money and it would be ideal if this joint activity were free. Birchie has taken on a hiking challenge several years running, which sounds appealing. Unfortunately, my mom lives nearby primarily in the winter months, and hiking in the snow and ice isn’t at the top of her list of fun things to do. (Don’t you love how the prior sentence cleverly implies hiking in snow and ice IS on MY list of fun things to do?) Elisabeth visits lighthouses, but the closest lighthouses to me aren’t reasonably close to my mom’s house. A coffee shop or restaurant or ice cream shop crawl would be fun, but again with the spending money, not to mention that those types of places tend to be crowded and noisy, which cross them pretty firmly off the list. A dear friend of mine would be all about finding local haunted places, but I don’t think that’s my mom’s jam. Stephany recently did a reading crawl, which I find deeply appealing… maybe my mom and I could visit one bookstore or library at a time and spend an hour or so reading together? My mom doesn’t really enjoy shopping or live music, neither of us are that into group exercise classes.
Are there any options I’m not thinking of? Have you ever done a “challenge” or a multi-part activity, either on your own or with a friend or family member?
Favorite podcasts
Based on Engie’s enthusiastic recommendation, I binged the entire second season of “Adults in the Room.” It was compelling and thought-provoking, and I found myself staring into space after every episode, wondering about things like the knife’s edge balance between “protecting a victim and future potential victims from abuse” and “protecting people from false accusations”… the many, many ways people can inflict themselves and their desires on others non-consensually and whether “abuse/abuser” are the most accurate terms for every act/person on that spectrum… and how big systems, like school districts, can feasibly and reliably balance the need to employ staff against their responsibility to protect the people they serve. It was a heavy topic, for sure, and the podcast of course had limitations in its scope and viewpoint and ability to address the bigger questions, but I found it completely engrossing.
Last fall, I think, Nicole recommended that I listen to a podcast called “Beth’s Dead,” and hoo boy, THAT was a fantastic listen. It also touched on heavy topics, but it was mostly about the intensity of parasocial relationships and I loooooved it.
I am not typically a podcast listener, although I can’t articulate why I gravitate toward other types of media first. But I enjoyed “Adults in the Room” and “Beth Is Dead” so much that I would love something exactly like either of them. I just started “Scamanda” which might do the trick, but would love more ideas if you have them.
Initial thoughts on physical therapy
The other day marked my first physical therapy appointment to treat a case of tennis elbow. Reminder: I do not play tennis. My best guess is that I injured my forearm while lifting weights.
This was my second time patronizing a physical therapist; the last time, some seven or so years ago, was also in response to a workout-related injury. That time, I’d squinched my lower back doing ab exercises during a barre class. I don’t remember much about that PT experience, except that it was helpful. So I am going to try to write about this experience in more detail, for the benefit of Future Me.
When I arrived at the PT office, I had to fill out a series of long questionnaires – the kind that ask the wrong questions. (For instance, it asked “Does your pain interfere with your social life?” instead of “Does your pain interfere with your ability to work out the way you want to, which affects your mental and physical health on a daily basis?”)
After I’d filled out all the forms and handed over my insurance card for photocopying, my physio (Allison calls her PT a physio, so I am going to do that as well) called me back to a little office that looked like a doctor’s exam room: exam table, couple of chairs, cabinet with sink. The physio asked me a bunch of questions about my pain level and when/how I thought I’d injured the area. (He also noted that he had no part in designing the questions, nor has he ever, in twenty years as a PT, looked at any of the completed questionnaires.) (ARRRGGGHHHHHH, amirite.) Then he pressed on various parts of my arm and moved my arm around in a variety of ways and asked if anything caused pain. Then he agreed with the diagnosis of tennis elbow and said I would need to come to PT twice a week for six weeks. Ugh.
Then he showed me a couple of stretches to do, advised me to ice my elbow twice a day, and took me into the main space of the PT room, where there were exercise benches, weight machines, yoga mats, treadmill, and massage tables. I sat on a chair with my arm resting on a massage table and the physio ran an ultrasound machine over my forearm for what seemed like a long time. Then he massaged my forearm using a metal tool that looked kind of like this. He asked me if I could tell how tight my muscles were (or maybe he said “tendons”?), and when I said no, he showed me how the metal tool was unable to slide smoothly over my arm, but instead looked as though it were gliding over a bumpy road. Then he showed me how to massage my own forearm, using the elbow of my opposite arm (not easy or fun), and that was it.
I wasn’t really prepared for anything about the experience, because I had no idea what to expect.
Two things I wish I had known in advance:
1. That I would be a lot of pain after the appointment. My arm is sore, and in a new way than it has been; I would compare it to the same soreness I’ve had after getting a vigorous back massage, or even similar to the soreness of doing a rigorous exercise routine. Allison suggested that I take Advil before PT, and I will do that next time for sure.
2. That I would be expected to CHAT. My physio was lovely and friendly and talkative, and it turned out we had a lot in common to discuss. But chatting for A Whole Hour with someone I don’t know well is exhausting. There was one other patient in the office while I was there, and he looked at his phone the whole time his physio was massaging him… but he was on his stomach and she was working on his legs/feet, and I think it would be a lot more difficult/rude to stare at my phone while my physio massages my arm right there next to my face. I already dread going to the dental hygienist because of the chatting, and I only have to do that twice a year. HOW am I going to survive eleven more hours of conversation with this guy? (Who, again, seems lovely and friendly and kind!)
Wall art
My primary resting spot in this house is in the cozy armchair in the corner of my office. My view from the chair is of my bookshelves, but I am increasingly aware of how bare the walls are on either side of the shelves. Wouldn’t that be a nice way to display some family photos? We have TONS of artwork around our house, but very few family photos.
I have gone so far as to select a variety of photos that I’d like to display, but that’s where I get stuck.
What is the best way to display them? Gallery-wall style or on a series of floating shelves? Is there a way I could incorporate my decorative skiing tile, which I bought from Lauren years ago and LOVE and have never figured out how to properly display? (If you look closely, it’s sitting there on top of the Sue Grafton mysteries, but I would like it to be more visible.) If I have one non-photo, should/could I also add a small painting or a poem or something? How do I figure out how many [items] would look good and what sizes they should be?
Ergonomic laptop holders
Speaking of my office sitting habits, I forgot to tell you about the part of my physical therapy appointment during which the physio scolded me about my computer usage habits. (He wasn’t mean about it or anything, more aghast that I was doing such constant harm to myself.) He suggested that I immediately stop using my laptop while sitting in an armchair (don’t let him know where I am writing this post) and sit instead at my desk, and invest in an ergonomic laptop holder so that I stop doing intense and ongoing damage to my neck and posture. He also recommended that I immediately cease using the track pad and keyboard on my laptop and get a separate mouse and keyboard.
What I want to know is, are there ergonomic laptop holders I can use on my lap? I really don’t like sitting at my desk.
How long is too long to sleep in?
Between the cat and perimenopause, I am no longer a sleeper-inner. My husband, who is chronically underslept, can sleep in until ten o’clock on the rare occasion the stars align for him to do so. My kid, who is almost-but-not-quite a teenager, has begun to sleep in more luxuriously than she used to; for years and years, she was an up-with-the-sun kind of kid.
My question is, how long do I let her sleep? I know she doesn’t get enough sleep these days, so I’m inclined to let her sleep until she wakes up naturally. But I also don’t want to start a Bad Pattern, and sleeping late often leads directly to staying up late. Ten o’clock feels decently decadent to me, but my husband says he remembers sleeping in until one or so when he was a teen.
When you can sleep in, how late do you sleep? If you have kids, how late do you let them lounge in bed?
That’s all I’ve got today, Internet. I hope it is not snowing where you are. You know I love snow, but not in May.
Single topic posts don’t reflect real life. So, although you call this scattershot, I consider it slices of your day (or week?). I’m not artistically inclined so I have no suggestions for your wall. However, I adopted two of my parents’ recliners which sit on either side of my TV. I did end up putting family photos above them and think it looks nice. Your cat is gorgeous but sometimes cats don’t get along. My older daughter adopted a beautiful Turkish van, thinking that her laid back Maine coon would be fine with it. Months later and he’s still not. I love the idea of bookstores and libraries. Different parks perhaps? They can be lovely to walk around in.
Podcasts aren’t really my thing either, although the ones you’ve mentioned sound intriguing.
Good luck with the chatty PT. Perhaps you can discuss the podcasts with him?
As for your wall, if you have enough room, I think a group of four (two next to each other on top and two on bottom) on each side would look good. And because I’m a nut, I would arrange each shelf tallest to shortest books – but that’s just me. You could also arrange some interesting items on top for added visual interest.
As to Carla’s sleeping in. When I was a kid, I’d often sleep in to about one or so – and I was a night owl (funny how that changed as I matured, i.e., got old). When my son was a teen I let him sleep. I figured he needed it.
I like posts like these! PT can be so hard and painful. I did a lot of it before and after my hip surgery in 2016. I loved my therapist, though. She had gotten married recently so we talked a lot about that and then I ended up using her coordinator for our wedding a year later. But it is a lot of talking. And it can be so painful with all the stretching and deep tissue massages and such!
The pub crawl type of thing sounds fun! I would like to do something like that in a later stage in life when my kids are more independent and I have more freedom!
For the sleeping in question, I would say 10am is as late as I would let my kid sleep. I can’t even wrap my mind around that since my kids are up around 6-6:30 these days! I know it’s coming for me, though.
My mom and I did a pottery class together, and that was pretty fun. I also like your idea of visiting local libraries/bookstores. One of my friends did a beginning quilting class. …I now realize both my ideas cost money.
Nice walks in the area, except you said this is in winter, so that’s not great. Writing Postcards to Voters?…which costs money. Tackling one chore that would be nicer to do with two people, alternating houses?
When things got a little awk with my PT, I would count out loud. Like, she would say to do two sets of ten of something, and I would count out loud, which effectively took the place of talking. Useless for massage, though.
TWO of my friends have wall arrangements that are the same and I don’t know what they are—but basically there is a place where you can give them your photos and they will print 8×8? (I am estimating) lil canvasses of them, and then you can make an interchangeable wall display. So, like, one friend’s husband got her something like 30 little canvasses of photos of their kids, photos of their vacations, photos of their early days, photos of their wedding, and then put up a grid of nine hooks on the wall. And she can pick 9 of the 30 and put them up, depending on mood. He keeps adding more pictures, each holiday. It seems pretty fun. Sure would be helpful if I knew what service he’s using! La la la!
Of course you’re obsessed with Lenny, which is as it should be! He’s the best! PT can be painful for sure, and massaging your arm with your elbow sounds intense. I went to PT for my lower back for 6 weeks, and I didn’t think it was going to work – but it did! I learned a lot about proper bending, which helped so much. How did I not know how to bend over? Ha! Ha!
PT places vary, but I just did it for my wrist/ hand and the appointments after the evaluation were mostly the techs setting me up with exercises and there were only 15-20 minutes just with the PT. Some days I had the PTA who was not chatty. The PT was chatty but he was talking to everyone and not just me. So maybe you won’t have to worry about chatting for that long. They would also do a heat wrap at the end usually, which helped with soreness after the exercises.
One summer the Washington post had a list of the 12 best ice cream places in the region and we made it a family project to visit as many as we could. North was at camp for most of that summer so we only did 4 (we did get in the best ranked ones in DC, MD, and VA), but it would have been fun to visit them all.
I admire people who can say what they need to say in a concise sentence or two, but that’s not how I roll. Sometimes we all just need to spread out and let the world know what’s on our minds. So I am all for long multi topic posts!
Here are the random things that popped into my mind while reading this:
I was going to suggest art classes, if you and your mom are into it… it could be different things: pottery, wood work, a cooking class, etc. but yeah that would also mean spending money. I understand.
I love hearing about your experience with your PT but I understand about the small talk – that would be hard for 60 minutes, even if he’s kind and friendly. Maybe just let him know that you’re not a chatty person? Is that too direct? I feel like there should be a question on the questionnaire, where you can note down your preference for small talk (like you can do when you book an Uber/Lyft!). Then he’d know if he should just be silent with you.
On a different note, why in the world aren’t we supposed to use a keyboard and trackpad on our laptops? Did he give a reason? I prefer that over using a mouse.
P.S. I am obsessed with your cat too 🙂
Okay, you know what part of this I’m going to focus on! What exactly is your husband’s objection to a second cat? I’ve had to persuade my husband every single time we got a new cat, but he always comes around and ends up loving them all. Two really isn’t any more work than one, and it’s so fun to see them interacting with each other. I will say ONE THING- get a kitten. It may take Lenny a bit to get used to another cat in the house, and a kitten is much less threatening than an adult cat. Lenny is still young, so he may be a little less set in his ways than an older cat. Get the cat! I seriously doubt you’ll regret it.
So about the elbow- that is seriously awkward. I can see how it would be easier to zone out if you weren’t literally face to face with the physio. Also, it would have been nice if he had warned you you might be sore, but I think it’s a good thing. Kind of like when you lift weights you may be sore the next day, but it’s all part of the process that’s making you stronger.
Hmm, teenagers. They do need a lot of sleep, and their sleep patterns shift, so going to bed later and sleeping later fit in with their hormones (although of course not their school schedule). I pretty much let my daughter do her own thing, and suffer the logical consequences- e.g. she realizes if she sleeps till 2 pm she’ll have trouble going to bed that night and will be exhausted getting up for school the next day. BUT, she’s 17, so maybe logical consequences work better for her than a young girl.
Lol I am also George.
Beth’s Dead was kind of wild, but I found the ending to be so anticlimactic. Like, I was expecting some kind of psychotic/ sociopath. I don’t even think I listened to the very last episode, I only listened up to the second last one, where they talked to the guy. It was disappointing, tbh. I guess I wanted more drama?
I am still listening to The Rest Is History and Double Love, which are really two different sides of the podcast spectrum.
I feel like I now only have 3 kinds of posts on my blog. Recipes (for when I want to get a recipe down so I don’t lose / forget it), book reviews, and random stuff posts. So this is my kind of post for sure.
Of course you’re obsessed with Lenny. He’s perfect.
I feel like with teen hormones, they shift a lot and it’s best to just let them sleep when they want to. As long as they can get to school or other commitments, that’s fine. Now here I am with a 30 year old who sleeps until 8 or 9 on weekends, gets up, has breakfast, goes for a walk, then comes home and has a shower and takes a nap. She does get wherever she needs to go though!
I mostly listen to books on my phone, rarely podcasts. I should give some of these a try I think. I might give Adults in the Room a try.
Are you even a responsible pet owner if you’re not obsessed with your pet? I think not! Plus, Lenny is so adorable. You would be heartless if you weren’t always thinking about him!
Lenny is adorable and I’m on Team Suzanne for getting another cat. Plus, you manage the upkeep of having a pet so I think if your husband can get even marginally behind the idea you should go for it (says the petless woman writing from behind a screen with no vet bills to pay).
Your office is so bright and colourful. Love it! Whatever you put up will be lovely, and I think slightly haphazard gallery walls are delighfully whimsical!
I’m sorry about your injury and the pain caused by PT. I hope it is the first step toward a quick recovery <3
I can rarely do a single topic post. I believe we’re mostly scattered people, to our posts are as well.
Well, I hope the PT helps you, at least in the long run. You might have to chat and feel uncomfortable for a bit, but I’m crossing all my fingers that this helps overall.
Teenagers definitely need more sleep. (so does your friend Suz)
I must be weird. I loved going to PT and when I was done, wished there was a reason I could go back. But the pain right after — that’s miserable. I can see why you are obsessed with Lenny. He’s gorgeous. I’m obsessed with my cat, too. They do that to a person! Thanks for the grasshopper link. I’ll have to add one to the wand. I must be out of it because I’ve never heard about the non-pub pub crawl. Where do you go if you go to a non-pub? And do you eat there? So that has a cost, if you do — probably more than an ice cream crawl (though have you bought an ice cream cone lately? It’s more than gas!) Must keep up!
I love these posts.
And I am also slightly obsessed with your cat. I hope that’s not too weird 😂 He’s such a dreamy thing 😍
I have nothing to suggest for the mom/daughter outings – my mom enjoyed shopping. She likes antiques. Oh, I guess the only thing that pops into mind is a house tour . . . my mom and I did this when I was maybe in college, but I think it was Christmas time and we toured lovely houses in the area that were decorated for the holidays. It was fun. I think checking out various bookstores sounds like it might be right up your alley.
I’m laughing at your exhaustion at conversing with your PT, because my PT husband is not one to enjoy all the talking, so when I am ready to get out in the world and chat with him or with our friends, he’s sort of done, because I’ve been talking to babies and he’s been talking to patients, which he finds sort of demanding.
Leo is such a great cat (achoo – she says while keeping her distance).
I’m not one to listen to podcasts. I do find Amy Poehler’s podcast entertaining usually.
My sister has two cats, and they are endlessly entertaining and adorable when I am there. I would also have at least one cat if I was having trouble getting comfortable with having a pet whose poop I have to pick up AND one whose poop I have to clean out of a litter box. And Seamus and Miko do love being up high – I frequently walk down the hallway towards the guest bedroom to feel eyes on me from their perch that’s outside the office almost on the ceiling.
I almost never watch reality tv but I somehow pressed play on the Scamanda miniseries and was immediately sucked in. How gruesomely fascinating.
I think I actually call my physio guy a physio guy, which is just as weird and probably incorrect, but physiotherapist is just begging for multiple typos. And sorry for only remembering to advise you to pre-Advil when we were already in post-physio.
I love a gallery wall (my computer is urging me to complete “I love” with “and miss you”, which, fair enough.)
I can’t tell you about my sleeping pattern, you would lose what little respect for me you might possess. But as long as they were getting the shit done that needed to get done we never really policed our kids’ sleeping hours at either end – this absolutely would not work for everyone.
OMG YES, THE TALKING. I didn’t realize that about PT either. Thankfully, my PT and I quickly connected about books so I was able to talk to her about that pretty easily. And she was VERY chatty, which I always appreciate. Please ask me questions because I have no questions in my brain at this time.
I am also obsessed with my cats!!! Whenever I’m Face timing with my mom, at least once per call, I will say, “Want to see the cutest thing ever???” and it’s just one of the cats sleeping, totally normal, BUT SHE BETTER TELL ME IT’S THE CUTEST THING EVER.
One of my friends is doing an A-Z restaurant project! Maybe something like that, but it doesn’t have to be restaurants?! Or def do a reading crawl. It was so much fun!
My kids and I sometimes do summer challenges and the most fun one we’ve done was to try as many different cultures’ cuisines as possible. Basically, we went to the local Greek restaurant and the local German restaurant and the local English tea shop, etc. It was really fun and we ended up with a few new favorite restaurants.
Our lives are such that we don’t often get to let the teenagers sleep in but when it happens, we usually let them sleep in. If it gets to the 1pm range, we start waking them up so it doesn’t create a cycle, but they can sleep pretty late when it works.