Lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve outgrown this space. Which isn’t to say I have any real desire or intention to stop blogging. It just feels like I don’t know what to post, that anything I do write is inconsequential or boring or dumb or… I don’t know.
I’ve also begun to dislike, more and more, my blog name. It fit me once, a long time ago. But I no longer feel like my identity is Doctor’s Wife, nor do I think my life is any different from anyone else’s, nor do I write a whole lot about the doctor’s-wife-specific aspects of my life anyway, and it just feels dumb and stale and cringe.
One of the most memorable – and most sobering / terrifying – quotes I’ve come across is Annie Dillard’s “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” If I look at my blog archive as a catalog of how I spend my life, it’s full of posts about parenting, relationships, food, my cat, worries / anxiety, and day-to-day minutiae.
The things I write about here are topics that interest me. But do they add up to anything???? Sometimes the silly and frivolous things I post about feel so very silly and frivolous. Am I wasting my time, and yours, by dwelling on such inconsequential topics?
I want to write about deeper, heavier themes. And yet, many of them feel outside of my ability to discuss with any nuance or intelligence; many feel too personal, or too revealing of the private lives of people who aren’t me; many feel so heavy I fear I’ll drag us all down (and we have enough of that, elsewhere).
More and more often, lately, I find myself thinking, What am I doing here?
- I write for this blog because I believe in the practice of writing. But shouldn’t I be devoting time and energy to my other writing, the writing that I’m neglecting all too often?
- I write for this blog because I love keeping a sort of loose record of my life. But isn’t it far too loose, when I’m barely delving into anything real? Will I revisit this in twenty years and think – my god, was my whole life really wrapped up in coming up with meals to make for my family???? Would Future Me be better served by writing a private, messy, no-details-spared journal?
- I write here because I love interacting with you. But couldn’t I get the same feeling of connection by reading and commenting on your posts (which I do far too infrequently, let’s add that to my list of failings), or texting / emailing / calling you more often?
It all comes back around to the simple problem that I’ve outgrown the “life of a doctor’s wife” conceit. If I find a focus or a point or a perspective, I could imbue my writing with fresh purpose. But… what would my focus be? I have no specialty or expertise, no original wisdom to share, no unique viewpoints, no secrets to offer. Even if I changed my blog identity, I would still be the same over-anxious, often-cranky, germ-averse, self-absorbed, quick-to-catastrophize, food-and-cat-obsessed middle-aged me. And, to be honest, even if I did have some area of expertise, I don’t know if I would WANT to write an “XYZ advice” blog, you know? I don’t necessarily want to be locked into one thing. I kind of like having a place where I can moon about my child growing up or discuss my dinner plans for the week or overthink gift ideas. If I were to suddenly to be The XYZ Blog, would I still feel able to post those things?
Speaking of focus, I already have a profoundly neglected book blog. Maybe I should shift all my energy to writing about books and writing. I love books! I love writing! Maybe writing about books and writing would mean I’d read more! And write more! But do I really have anything revelatory or interesting to say about the books I read? Could I write anything about writing except that I am very, very slow and mediocre at it? Plus… the book blog is “public” in a way this one isn’t, and I don’t feel entirely free to be me there. (And what does THAT say about me, that I feel more open when I am semi-anonymous than when people I know offline might be reading?) (And have things become extra complicated, now that I know several bloggers in my offline life, too?)
Now that I have so many lovely “real life” connections, do I even need this blog anymore? It was a lifeline when I was a lonely newlywed, working from home in a new city while my husband was at the hospital all hours of the day. Many of those connections have grown and lasted and crossed over into offline friendships, and wasn’t that the hope all along? Have I achieved a goal, making the ongoing pursuit of that same goal superfluous? After all, I can continue to read YOUR blog, even if I stop posting on mine.
If I reverted to “just” a blog reader, would that feel like enough? Would I magically shift all the time I spend writing blog posts toward other, more valuable pursuits? Somehow I think I would still itch to get all the random silly mundane frivolous cranky food-and-cat-related thoughts out of my head.
But if I feel driven to do that anyway, why not share those random thoughts with kind people who will empathize and offer insights and make me laugh?
As you see, I continue to travel in circles.
Okay. Let’s see here. Is there anything concrete we can derive from today’s post? If you haven’t already clicked away from this drivel, perhaps you could weigh in on my current identity crisis by answering the following polls.
Well, that’s it. That’s the dumb post that’s been stopping me up, writing wise. If you made it through this meandering, whiny, naval-gaze of a post, I salute you. (And believe it or not, I cut 500 of the dumbest, whiniest words from it.) I hope posting it here allows me to move on.
Thanks, as always, for reading and understanding and weighing in.
The title of your blog doesn’t matter to me. I’m here from your writing ( and cat photos).
You could use Life and times of Lenny’s human as your blog title. But really, you write about lots of different things, all with your unique twist, and that’s enough for me.
Life and times of Lenny’s human! Love that idea!
I had a hard time answering some of the questions because the answers do not reflect the enthusiasm I have for you! It was like Eyeore wrote the poll. Lol. And I say this as someone who kind of/mostly identifies as that character with a little bit of anxious Rabbit to round things out.
I can relate to how you feel. My blog content has changed and lost much of its depth over the last 8-10 years. It was simpler when I was single and my story was entirely mine to tell. Now I have an intensely private busman! And kids! So much of my content is very surface level. I try to put as much real life/deeper reflections in but it’s tough!
If you want to carve more time for book writing, you could set a goal for # of posts/week in this space. I typically only post twice/week and that feels manageable. And changing the blog title makes sense! I debated doing that when I moved from Blogger to WP but it just felt like too much!
TLDR – we love you and your content! And I like the random musings of a mid-life mom. So please don’t leave us!!!
I suppose I can’t compare since I am fairly new to your blog, but I feel like you achieve a lot of depth and reflection. It is tough, though, when you have real people to consider.
I may need to pick your brain about changing platforms / blog names / etc. because the idea is appealing to me but very daunting!
I would be happy to share my learnings. I bet it would be easier to change your title in WP. I never did figure out how to get my blogger site to automatically refer to my new site. I am such a novice when it comes to anything related to programming and I really felt like I was stumbling around in the dark.
I am glad my blog seems to have some depth to it. I feel like it’s kind of surface level at times but it’s really hard to go deep when there are kids and a husband involved! And now I like can’t talk about anything of consequence, even on my private blog… it’s a weird feeling.
Okay, as of this moment there is one vote for “I have more to say that I will share in the comments” and that vote is me. Also, “Should Have Been A Poet” made me smile so I voted for that.
FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU. And I love everything you write about! And I love all your stories, all your dinner ideas, all your posts. ALL OF THEM. There isn’t a single one I don’t like. You are more than entitled to your feelings and thoughts, but what you call drivel I call deeply relatable and thoughtful. What you call “over-anxious, often-cranky, germ-averse, self-absorbed, quick-to-catastrophize, food-and-cat-obsessed middle-aged me” I call “Suzanne, who I adore so much.”
For what it’s worth, I find it so valuable to have the blog to look back on to see what was happening when. It just happened last week, when I went to look up a book and ended up reading all my posts from August 2021. That was a time! And I would have no way of recalling all those things without it. I mean, I get it, a lot of my blog is talking about grocery shopping, and is that what I’ve done with my one wild and precious life? Sort of, but isn’t that everyone? And isn’t that just life?
As for the anonymity, well, I do understand. Everyone who knows me knows I have a blog and most of them read it, which means…I have to be aware of that. And I understand you feel like you’ve outgrown your blog name, but that IS something you could rebrand and still write the same things.
What I’m saying is I love what you write, I hope you continue, I’m sorry you’re feeling stuck, you mean SO MUCH to SO MANY, you are such a valued member of the blog community in general and in my personal life in particular.
I will read ANYTHING you write, and I’m here for you anytime you want (another writing date perhaps?).
Oh Nicole. You are just so kind. Thank you.
YES to another writing date. I will text you; I cannot find the login for my email which seems like a simple problem to solve and I have not yet solved it.
Ha – I love your point about using our one wild and precious life to do / write about grocery shopping. (And yet I find it FASCINATING to read about, so…)
I hate weighing in on this via comments because there is no way I can convey in words how much I love this space and your writing and YOU. What I wish I could do is give you a giant hug and say let’s go for coffee and a stroll together.
Instead, I will say: please, please, please keep writing if you feel even a smidgen of urge. Your blog is SUCH a delight, regardless of the name. For the record, I also voted for Should Have Been a Poet because I just LOVE it. Also, please don’t tell Leo that I had to vote for “You touch on a bunch of topics I find relevant and/or interesting.” But also 100% also show up for cat photos. You take the best cat photos I have ever seen. Full stop.
Your writing is wonderful. Your wrestling with life is so relatable and, frankly, HIGHLY relatable for me because I feel like we have a lot of overlap in our lives and struggle with some overlap in insecurities.
You bring light and joy into my life via your blog, my friend <3 <3
We DO have a lot of overlap, and I love reading about how you deal with challenges (and joys) — you do so with such grace.
I will never breathe a word of your betrayal to Leo. 😉
Thank you for your support and kindness.
Well, in my recent post, I also did a poll to see what types of posts people liked best (just out of curiosity!) and the overwhelming winner was “random/ everyday stuff” posts. So, I feel like your concern that readers are somehow bored with the minutiae that you might share is totally unfounded. Also, gently, do you really think that if everyone were so terribly bored by your posts that we’d all keep showing up and reading and commenting? I mean… no offense to anyone, but I don’t think any of us are THAT nice to just keep going to blog we’re bored stiff by, day after day. 🙂 (My point is, don’t your stats speak for themselves? Clearly something is working!!)
About the name, I could see wanting to refresh that, if it no longer feels accurate, exactly, for this time and place and your current focus. Since you’re asking for honesty and feedback, I will share it. I have occasionally had the thought that your blog name takes the focus off of YOU as an individual and sort of makes it seem like you are nothing if not someone’s wife. It also somewhat conjures up the image, for me, of a woman (“the wife”) flittering around tending to a man in a white lab coat (“the doctor”), or something. (I totally KNOW this is not the case!, and it’s probably just our patriarchal society in my head, but the thought has crossed my mind.)
In general, I also think that all of the alternative names you listed above are sort of self-deprecating, Suzanne! I understand and admire how openly you share about your anxieties and struggles and I think everyone can relate and learn from what you share (which is why we’re all here!). I do NOT think you should stop sharing this side of yourself, at all. But it also pains me a bit to hear you “talk down on yourself”, too. Some of those titles feel like you’re poking fun at yourself, perhaps, but a bit like a “mean girl” in your own head. You are an amazing and talented writer and person and you are much more than just a housewife or another anxious person. You ARE a writer, you’re not a wannabe writer. You are not ‘just another’ anxious millennial – you’re the one, the only, Suzanne! (who also happens to be a bit anxious! ;)) You are certainly not “incidental”. I think I like the Navel Grazer title the best, lol, because that feels more neutral and factual hahaha- though. Circular thinking is just that, circular thinking. You haven’t assigned it a negative connotation here, like I sense in some others.
Whoa, sorry, I just wrote a lot. But I know you are a fellow wordy writer, like me!, so I hope you won’t mind. 🙂 Sending hugs and just know that WHATEVER you call this space, or whatever you write here, we’re here. 💗
To be honest, I worry that people hate-read! But okay — I really appreciate your thoughtful and reasoned words, thank you so much. And I feel chastened — appreciatively so; I really value your straightforwardness — about being my own inner mean girl. I would not want my kid to be a mean girl to or about herself, so why is it okay for me? It didn’t feel that way when I wrote it, so I am really glad to have it reflected back to me as it comes across.
You have hit on some of the problems I feel about the “doctor’s wife” blog title. It was a different world in many ways when I started this blog, and it fit then in a way it doesn’t now. In some ways the title is reflective of my own feelings of inferiority about my role vs. my husband’s, but that’s not all I am. And it also puts what I feel like is an unfair burden on my husband to be the focus of this blog, when he really ISN’T (and never asked to be!).
I LOVE that you wrote a lot, I am here for the wordiness! And the hugs and the kindness. Thank you.
Dear, sweet Suzanne! I understand your feelings, as I have felt this way off and on throughout my life. I think we are both highly sensitive introverts, and sometimes we get overwhelmed by things that others wouldn’t blink at. You have such a nice community here, and it would be a shame to stop blogging completely. I would miss you, your gift ideas, your kitty photos, your humor, your vulnerability, and your perspective on life.
You could change your blog name to something you feel more aligned with at this stage of life. Or you could keep it as is. You are a doctor’s wife – it still fits. You could take a break and see how you feel after a blogging vacation. You could make your blog private for awhile, like Lisa has done. I was thinking it’s a nice opotion for the next time I’m feeling ultra vulnerable.
I didn’t know you have another blog! I’ll go check it out!
Quiet, gentle hugs from one highly sensitive introvert to another, Michelle! Thank you for understanding! It is both wonderful and terrifying to be “seen,” isn’t it?
Thank you for visiting and commenting on the book blog! I hope to get back to it one of these days. xxoo
I have thoughts! The first of which is that reading this blog is not a waste of my time. The second of which is something along the lines of a rose by another name is just as sweet or something like that. I never did figure out what to call my own blog, and I’m 14 years into this.
Of course I don’t have the answer, apart from writing what you want to write. Some days that will be nothing, some days it will be pouring your heart out [with edits for unbloggable issues], and some days it will be cat pictures. I think that private journaling is great, but my argument for blogging is that it’s a journal in a more polished form that is more fun to come back to.
I am here for more content on A Novel Project, but I can also see where you might not want to spend more time writing about your day job. With that said, I’d love to get more of a behind the scenes look!
To wrap it up, you’re allowed to do whatever you want to do and experiment along the way to figure it out. Whatever you decide I am here and along for the ride!
One of the things I love so much about you, Birchie, is that you are so accepting of possibility. Oh how I wish I could borrow your personality once in a while and just ROLL WITH IT. You always know exactly the right thing to say to make everything feel simple and okay.
I read your blog to hang out with you because I like you as a person and enjoy hearing about the minutia. I like blogs where people just talk about what is going on with them. It’s catching up on what is happening in your life, just like I would if we were hanging out together.
I think it’s all fine. But if you want to change your title or your topics, it’s your blog and you should do what feels right. And you are allowed to change your mind later if that feels right.
Most of what everyone does is the regular every day stuff all the time because that is what we need to keep life moving along.
Okay, I like this framing that it is like hanging out together. Sometimes I feel like it is Publishing A Writing, you know?
I am super, super curious about your own experience because you DID stop blogging and I am wondering if there was a specific catalyst or if it just fizzled or some combination. (I still miss your blog very much. Thank goodness for texting and Instagram.)
Ah yes, I stopped blogging because my dad died and then I spent like a year being depressed but I didn’t REALIZE I was depressed until I wasn’t anymore and then I just kind of never started back up again.
Well shit. I did not put that timing together.
I occasionally have the itch to start blogging again, but who knows if I will ever actually do it. I am still paying all the hosting fees for my blog so I haven’t stopped hoping that I’ll start again.
Let me put it this way: When I see in my feed reader that there’s a new post from you, my eyes light up. I enjoy every single thing that you write about, no matter what your blog name is! <3
Aww Wendy, thank you!
I relate very much to your existential crisis. It’s many of the same reasons I quit posting on my own blog: I felt it was just boring drivel, the writing wasn’t even good, the other “successful” blogs seemed to be monetized and singularly focused, etc. Plus, the date lined up to be nearly exactly 20 years after I’d started. It seemed like it was time to stop. (It’s still online, of course, and I still revisit it, more and more infrequently.)
I actually don’t regret quitting, although I haven’t found an alternate writing outlet that satisfies me. I don’t miss feeling cringe-y after I hit Publish. I do miss the record-keeping. I still keep a paper “gratitude journal” but it’s fairly high-level – doesn’t get into the details or emotions or big issues.
Still reading/commenting on others’ posts isn’t quite the same satisfaction, but it helps. I would hate to lose your blog, but I’m here for any refresh you wish to do! I definitely look forward to your “everyday” posts — to remind me that it’s all normal — and I enjoy the little community you have here. 🙂 xo
I miss your blog, but I am glad that you found a solution that feels okay. Hahaha – I am feeling especially cringe-y today, Lee!
I guess I don’t think much about blog names, and it doesn’t really bother me when people keep names that are from a prior phase of their lives, if it doesn’t bother them (which is the key point). I mean, look at me! I couldn’t even come up with a good blog name and just went with a bunch of words. Now, knit read cats hockey are still important to me, but, you know.
As far as not blogging about everything, I get that. Mine would have a lot more content about my mother if her sister didn’t read it! But that’s how the cookie crumbles in blog land.
In the end, I read your blog because I like your writing. The you that comes through is not the complete you, because few of us manage that, but I like how you write and that’s much more important to me than what you’re writing about. I am not married and have no kids, but that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy reading about them! I have tried plenty of blogs that superficially I have more in common with, but the writing didn’t grab me and I let them go. As long as you want to write, I want to read it, whatever the topic.
I definitely hear what you’re saying; other people’s blog names don’t bug me, either. But maybe I haven’t encountered someone whose blog name seems completely out of step with what they post? I don’t know. Knit Read Cats Hockey definitely “fits”!
Thanks for the kind words, and the commiseration about not being able to blog about everything.
The other comments have all stated what I’m thinking far more eloquently than I can, so just assume I’m ditto-ing everything that’s been said so far. Especially Kae’s comments about the self-deprecating tone. I didn’t find this post to be a “meandering, whiny, naval-gaze” at all and I absolutely don’t think anything you write is ‘drivel’, even if it is about something silly or inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Life is about those small moments of connection, about the fact that dinner needs to be made every.single.day, about brainstorming birthday gifts, or sharing a pair of shoes that you like (which I’m pretty sure every one of us went out and bought too). There are definitely bigger, heavier threads that could be written about if you want to, but it’s the chitchat that makes the connections. Also selfishly, I don’t have a blog but I’ve been reading for at least 20+ years for some of them. Losing this space for commenting and connecting would feel like losing a friend…
Thanks, Kate — and thank you for the reminder that not everyone I love in this blog community is a blogger (or an active blogger)! I wouldn’t want to miss out on your thoughts.
I love what you said that “life is about those small moments of connection.” That’s a great reminder.
Oh goodness, you know I get this. I think we have to suffer it every few months or year like a cold or seasonal allergies.
Our lives are made up of minutiae. The transcendent moments – Carly seeing the Eiffel Tower light up, the whole family watching the kitty, amazing walks with your friends – those take place IN minutiae, and if your whole life or whole blog was made up of them it would be 1)boring 2)obnoxious 3) a lie.
“Dinners this week” is a frame on which to hang your thoughts about motherhood, wifehood, being married to a doctor (that is a thing that’s going to have an effect on many other things – god, I’m so eloquent today- how we spend out days, how we think about things. Nicole’s favourite book – and now one of my favourites – is Diary of a Provincial Lady. It is hilarious and goofy and profound and is literally the diary of a housewife. The Tale of Genji, written by a woman about the daily lives of courtiers, is considered the first novel and an important cultural contribution.
And yes, you should write your other stuff. But that doesn’t mean THIS stuff is inferior. And yes, you should write about books, but maybe just have a book review day in this blog? And change the name if you want to, we will still come, or leave the name as a marker of where you were when you started it (Bibliomama isn’t totally aging like fine wine either). Either way, STAAAAAAAY.
A COLD OR SEASONAL ALLERGIES! Yes!!!! That is so apt.
I love love love this: “The transcendent moments – Carly seeing the Eiffel Tower light up, the whole family watching the kitty, amazing walks with your friends – those take place IN minutiae, and if your whole life or whole blog was made up of them it would be 1)boring 2)obnoxious 3) a lie.”
I need to read Diary of a Provincial Lady.
I have been reading your blog since your very early days, so obviously I enjoy all your posts. Love the dinner ideas as I am always looking for new ideas. Your angst ridden posts make me want to come give you a hug (or a shake) and say you are absolutely ok and people enjoy your company. Your personality comes through in your writing so you are, I’m sure a delight in real life! I just discovered your book blog before you sort of abandoned it. I hope you come back to it some day.
I would comment more often but this site is one that often gives me problem. I am prompted to “log in”??? so often I use a fake email address and it works, or I sometimes just give up. I have learned to copy my comment before I try to post as it often removes it. Oh yes, and occasionally WordPress erases the whole comment if you backspace to correct – but that’s not your fault!!!
Thank you, Pat!!! And yes, I hope to get back to the book blog at some point.
I am so sorry that the commenting stinks. I too have TONS of trouble commenting on WordPress blogs. Even when I am logged in to WordPress, I have to log in to individual blogs before I can post. Very irritating. And YES, so many comments get deleted!!!! Argh! I wish there was a way I could enable anonymous comments… I will try to poke around and see if there’s anything I can do.
Also one of my friends switched her blog from a theatre blog to a sexy therapy blog and no one missed a beat.
Sex! Sex therapy! Not sexy therapy.
Dammit, Allison! I got all excited about a sexy therapy blog and such a thing doesn’t exist?!?!
Seriously though I am still fascinated by this switch. That seems like a big difference in subject matter to accomplish without problems.
As a random/everyday blogger, I love your content and how you write. You shine through in your posts which isn’t always the case with bloggers. However, if you’re feeling dissatisfied, perhaps some changes would help. I moved platforms (typepad to WordPress) and that was enough chaos for me! LOL
Oh my goodness, I hadn’t even THOUGHT about all the chaos that would come with trying to change things up. I may be too much of a baby for that. Thank you for the kind words. <3
I think the blog title is fine, it describes you…but the description needs freshened up. Everything changes that is a constant. I would miss checking in on you and the chaos that everyday life brings.
Thanks, Sandy! I love the reminder that change is just a part of normal life.
i was thinking for a title: “Just Suzanne”. Or something to that effect. If that isn’t already taken. We read the blog for YOU and your realness!!
Thanks, Sarah! I appreciate that immensely. 🙂
You know, grocery shopping and meal planning and work and blah blah blah…this is life. I read this post in my email, then went and did my yoga and took my walk and thought a bit about it. Sometimes we think this minutiae is specific to us, but honestly, look at the history of people on this planet. The majority of our time is spent providing shelter and food to ourselves and our families. This is the human condition, and finding meaning, safety, and joy amidst the beauty and pain that is life. This is what we are all doing, and this is what you write about, whether you know it or not.
You write about daily life in such a lovely, relatable way. I am here for all of it. If you want to change the name of your blog, do it. If you don’t, don’t. We all know you and love you, and yeah, what we write about changes over time.
I heard Lenny Kravitz on the radio yesterday, and of course I thought of your beautiful Leo. You do take the most beautiful cat photos.
You are so sweet, J. I am loving this framing so much, that “the human condition” is made up of these everyday moments. I knew that, but I didn’t BELIEVE it, maybe. Or maybe I get caught up in the smallness of it all that I can’t see the bigger picture.
Awwww I love that you thought of Leo when you heard Lenny Kravitz! Lenny 4eva!!!!
I enjoyed reading all of your friends’ comments above. It’s clear how much they love you and your blog, and I hope you can see it. I love you and your blog very much too. When I read your words, they feel genuine and real. I can feel Suzanne in your writing, even though I’ve never met you in real life. That, my friend, is the mark of a good writer.
I love when bloggers write about nothing in particular- no plan, no agenda- just life. So please keep sharing about your meals, the cat, Carla, your trips, your walks, your favorite shoes -all of it. The minutiae is everything. It’s what makes up our lives.
That said, I completely understand how you’re feeling. I’ve gone through it many times since I first began writing. If you decide to change your blog name, go for it. Just know that I love your blog exactly as it is. 😘💜
I feel really ridiculous — like I have forced people to say nice things — and also really, really grateful that I know so many people who are so kind and so generous with their kindness. You included, dear Kari. Thank you for understanding! xxoo
I am afraid something went wrong with my comment, so you get it again, because I really, really wanted to tell you this!
Dear Suzanne,
you did not force anyone to do anything! Please allow yourself to feel the love for you in this space you created!
(this is from somebody who reads “all” the blogs – yes, “even” yours 😉❤️ – but seldom comments)
You didn’t force anything. You were open and vulnerable, and that takes real bravery. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. 😘💜
I love all of your posts, and they all resonate with me. I LIKE the title of this blog and the things you write about.
Thanks, Sarah!! You are so kind.
I always look forward to your posts — no matter the topic! I love that you and I both have 12 year old daughters, and I love reading your perspective about how the parenting changes over the years. And your gift guides/suggestions are always on point!
Whether you change your blog name or not, I’ve enjoyed reading your writing for many years now!
Thank you so much, Eli – I also love it when I read about others who are in that same stage of life/parenting. I’m glad you are still reading! <3
I do think there could be a name change, because being a “doctor’s wife” is not really what you are talking about most of the time. But all the suggestions you made are pretty negative about yourself! Of those, I also like “Should have been a Poet” best. It’s still a little negative–you are a poet!
As far as the content–well, we wouldn’t read it if we didn’t like it. There is far too much else to do it the world! By now, all the blogs I used to read have either quit, or I quit on them. I am only reading you, Swistle, Nicole, Sundry, and Jamie now (although mostgladly seems to be offline now, sadly). People actually love to read about everyday life! Every Anne Tyler book is about that! And lots of other great writers too! All a person has to do (and this is not easy) is 1. have an appealing writing voice and 2. post often enough for me to feel like there is something going on. Maybe I won’t like every single bit of content, but I can just skim once and a while and then come back later for more news. I never expected that you were going to tell me about international politics or exotic travels! (I have other sources for that!).
This is such a great perspective (and also very humbling to be listed among those other bloggers), thank you so much for sharing it. And I feel a little silly about the alternate titles — I truly did not realize they were so self-deprecating. I really appreciate you and other readers for pointing that out.
Oh, Suzanne – you write about LIFE on this blog. Something we all can understand and empathize with you. Honestly, I think blogs of this nature are the best – truest – ones of all. And, of course, there is always something going on in the background that you can’t/won’t blog about and that is a given – for all of us, I think (hope).
Every time I see a new post from you, I smile and my heart glows because I know I can come here and hear about a little slice of your life – whether it’s about Lenny or Dinners This Week or the anxiety that Carla’s social schedule is giving you. And I can empathize – because mainly those are my concerns too (albiet my concerns are a “little” different since 1. I don’t have a cat. 2. I don’t cook. and 3. I don’t have a child in the home…but still….) xo
Wow, Gigi, I am a little stunned by this statement: “I think blogs of this nature are the best – truest – ones of all.” That strikes me as so accurate, even if I never thought about it before. Thank you for that perspective and for your sweet words!!
Look at all these comments! You can see that people love reading your blog. I really loved Kae’s comment. Yes, I agree with her about the name of your blog- if you were starting your blog right now, I would not suggest it (and I’m sure you wouldn’t choose it either). It’s not bad, but it does put the focus on the fact that you’re someone’s wife, rather than all the other parts of you. BUT. Unless you’re planning to expand your blog, maybe monetize it like Elisabeth did, I don’t think you need to change it. I’ve actually had the same thoughts about the name of my blog- Runners Fly? And then 3/4 of my posts are about non-running topics? When I started it, I was much more focused on fitness posts. But… I’m not going to the trouble of changing it now.
I think everyone loves the topics you write about. Personally, I would be happy if you incorporated book reviews or “what I read recently” into your posts. But if you don’t do that, I won’t be mad! I also understand the urge to write about deeper subjects, but being constrained by privacy considerations. I like when people share real life issues, but we can’t throw our friends and family members under the bus.
The bottom line is- I sure hope you don’t stop blogging, because I would miss you and be very sad.
As many have said, your reflections on every day life are relatable. The community of thoughtful commenters is built around your writing about challenges to dilemmas big and small that many of us face. Thanks for sharing your life and writing with us!
You’re saying that you’d like to write about other things but they’d be too personal for others in your life (understandable!) or you don’t feel confident enough to write about certain topics with nuance. It seems like the latter would be worth exploring (writing about those things in your voice) and might scratch that itch for change. This is your blog, after all, we’re all here for it.
I have read your blog for YEARS now. I love hearing your voice and your unique perspective on anything. Even your descriptions of a trip to Target are fascinating because the reason I read blogs is for the minutiae of everyday life. If that topic is what you’re cooking for dinner, I’m hear for it because I have to deal with it daily, too! Do you remember a time when I was posting all my scarves, shoes, and what was in my bathroom linen closet? What you post doesn’t really matter because it’s really more about YOU and your hot takes. (I mean, NO tomatoes? CRAZY.)
My blog started out when I was a grad student (NGS – Neurotic Grad Student) and I haven’t been a grad student in many years). If you want to change things up, great! But don’t do it unless you want to.
But please continue writing in this space. I’d definitely miss you a lot if it went away.
Suzanne, I feel you on all of the above. I get it.
Did you intentionally want me to laugh at this while voting: To see what random privileged crap you want to whine about today. Because I LOL’d. This is something I would say in person….I didn’t vote on that, but I guffawed at the idea of it being a choice.
I think we collectively love that you write about so much stuff…so much daily life, and we all get it. We are essentially in the same boat, different bodies of water.
I think that perhaps if you update the title of your blog, you might feel less angsty about it all. But the title never irked me at all, because you are who you are. ❤️
Well, dang it – I read this yesterday and as usual lately – wasn’t able to comment till today. I read blogs while feeding a baby and I have a baby that requires me to use all of my available limbs to get her to take the bottle – so my hands cannot type a response. Anyway, I’m back to say (and with all of this time, you’d think I’d have formed a well versed response, but alas) that I enjoy your blog – no matter what you’re sharing, you make me laugh or you make me think or you help me plan a meal or you suggest great gift ideas. I think all of your posts are relevant and so often very relatable (even though I don’t have a cat). I hope that you continue to post.
I also wanted to say that I understand your ‘what is with this?’ sort of thought process. I pause at times and think, If I’m juggling this and that or I don’t have time for XYZ then maybe blog is gonna be the thing I eliminate and maybe what I’m writing isn’t all that interesting anyway. I’ve been there and I’m not always sure that blogging is the answer, but I think I would miss the community.
I like what Suz said, if you want to adjust or update the name of your blog so that you don’t feel angsty about it, then maybe you do that. I’m not bothered by the name of your blog, but I do understand that you’ve maybe outgrown it or see things differently now as that’s just one aspect of you.
And, like Pat – I’ve had some struggles commenting on WP lately. I’m here reading but the commenting isn’t always working.
Suzanne, you embody the blogger of times gone by and I am here for it. I do not need another blog that caters to a niche topic or tries to monetize their writing. I am here for the mundane, but honest and real connection with a human being. Please don’t change anything (except for maybe your blog name, if it bothers you so much).
Well. I, for one, greatly enjoyed this post, and found it hugely relevant to my interests.
Long, long ago, when I was considering starting my own blog, I thought I would write mostly about parenting twins: the twins were just over a year old at the time, and Parenting Twins was my main interest. I started trying to think of parenting-twins-related blog names. But as I was fretfully procrastinating, I mean workshopping it mentally, I noticed that the blogs I liked best were (1) named just that person’s online name and (2) not themed. It seemed smart: they could then write about WHATEVER THEY WANTED, NO MATTER HOW THAT CHANGED OVER TIME, and it would ALWAYS BE ON-THEME, because the theme was THEM. So that’s what I did instead: in about 30 impulsive seconds I tacked a near-random cute ending on a childhood nickname and named the blog THAT. No ragrats.
I don’t like any of your suggested blog names, and to me they all feel self-conscious and trying-too-hard. If I were you, I would find your own online name, and use that. I recommend doing it in 30 impulsive seconds. Maybe it’s Suzistle. Maybe it’s a childhood nickname combined with a cute ending.
But I also think it is 100% fine to stick with what you’ve got. We’re all already here. You can keep the name, even if it doesn’t fit; or you can change it to LDW; or you can coast for now and change it when you know what you want.
I think (but this is just what I think, and not what I think you should think) that what’s best is to write what YOU (meaning me, but meaning you if you are asking what I think) want to write about, every single time. If you want to write something light that day, write light; if you want to write something heavy that day, write heavy; if you want to bitch and moan, bitch and moan; etc. If you always do what YOU want, it will all hang together. (This is also my theory of interior decorating.)
I so enjoy reading your blog! I couldn’t really pick answers to the poll sorry, because I like all your posts.
I feel similar about my own blog. I have posts like “I’m about to have twins so look i straightened my bookshelf” and is that the life I am leaving? But then I also have a 5 year journal I write in and I find it such an unpleasant read that I would rather read about my stupid to do lists than internal worries or random job angst I write about in my own journal.
Then I go down a weird rabit hole where I wonder if I’m being bloggy dishonest? Because I read a post from when I had 6 week old twins and was up all night and it sounded OK, but then I’m fairly sure that was the week I had to take them to the doctor for their 6 week check and I couldn’t stop crying and I thought I might end up with a social services referal but it turns out there isn’t any postnatal mental health support in the UK so no one noticed. Anyways that’s an oddly personal weird tanget, but what i’m trying to say is that blogging is weird and “what is the point of this” is a valid question but also please keep blogging because I enjoy reading all your thoughts, even thoughts about your thoughts.
Also, i really enjoy your blog because it is clear that you are a good writer and you proofread and make things sound nice through practice and effort and those are skills I someday hope to have. When I have more time. Not now. Sorry I did not proofread this comment.
”how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” If I look at my blog archive as a catalog of how I spend my life, it’s full of posts about parenting, relationships, food, my cat, worries / anxiety, and day-to-day minutiae.”
Suzanne, from where I sit as a reader, you’re filling your days with things that matter even if they are mundane and day-to-day minutiae. You’re caring for your daughter, doing the hard work of raising her. You’re being a loving wife to your husband. That’s all reflected in your posts. Your dinner posts are about you finding meals that feed your family well and balance everyone’s needs and preferences. You’re taking care of stuff around the house and phone calls etc that you don’t enjoy to keep your home functioning smoothly. It’s not a waste or
WordPress cut off my comment and then ate the rest of it here, so I’ll just finish by saying as a SAHM I enjoy your blog and enjoy reading about others doing the day in and day out work of parenting!
I am a relatively new reader (2024) when I started my blog and kind of “moved in” with this awesome community of bloggers.
For me personally, every day topics and deep thoughts are interesting. You and I both have champagne problems on the grand scheme of things, we both have anxiety, and I think we *may* be in perimenopause? Whatever, I like your blog very much and specifically enjoy the every day musings, and shopping lists. I bought the croissants with feet for the holidays for my kids last Christmas – remember those?
I hope that whatever the name of your blog ends up being, you will keep writing.
Suzanne, I’ll just briefly reiterate what so many commenters have already said. We’re here because we love reading what you write. We love the minutiae. I doubt that most people even pay attention to your blog URL and name, but if it bugs you, then change it! (I have no opinion on a new name, however…) <3