I am dreaming of date night right now. When we have houseguests, I feel like I never see my husband. I am always in the kitchen cooking or tidying up. And when I am ready to head to bed (not early, etiher! ten or eleven!) he is still chatting with his family and spending time with them, often into the wee hours of the morning. It truly feels like we don’t get more than five minutes alone together when we have visitors. Alas, once our houseguests are gone, my husband is on call for a week. Which means I may not see him aside from a few grumpy minutes here and there for a week! Womp womp.
On top of these things, my volunteer project is ramping up – to the point that I now lie awake looonnnng into the night fretting about décor and staffing and what happens if everyone else gets violently ill the night before the event. You know. Healthy stuff. I’m busy and my mind is on other things, so my mind is not really focused on Quality Spouse Time lately.
All this means that my husband and I are getting kind of desperate for some alone time. So I am going to text the babysitter and see if she is free AS SOON as my event and call week and houseguests are in the rearview!
Shay and Erika are doing a little link up today about date night ideas. My husband and I don’t have particularly exciting dates, but we have had exactly TWO date nights since 2020 – both with other couples – so I am kind of feeling like any time we get alone together counts as a date.
Dinner – We both love food, and so our typical date night usually involves going out to eat. One of our favorite local restaurants just reopened (after closing during the early days of the pandemic), so I’m hoping we might go there. Dining in restaurants still feels… fraught. I am looking forward to warmer weather and the opening of restaurant patios!
Dessert – My husband LOVES sweets, which means that dessert is a non-negotiable part of our date nights. (Like I would negotiate against dessert!) Most often, we grab ice cream after dinner. Near us is a small town with a cute main street we like to visit. There’s a delicious ice cream shop right in the middle, and the weather is getting to the point where we might be able to stroll with our cones even in the evening.
Bookstore – My husband and I both love to read, so our date nights often wind up in a bookstore, where we browse for books together (when we go with our daughter, one of us browses and the other goes with her to the kids’ section) and hand each other books to consider. I usually don’t enjoy going to bookstores. For one thing, I am not a huge fan of standing around while my daughter asks for every toy in the toy section. For another, there are too many books I want to buy, and I get cranky about not being able to take all of them home at once. (Do I have a million unread books in my home already? Yes. Does this alleviate the grouchiness or desire to buy more? Absolutely not.) But when we go to a bookstore on a date, it feels different. It feels like quality time, where he hands me books he might like or books he thinks I might like, and I do the same for him. Plus, there’s the novelty of being in a bookstore in heels and date night clothes that really changes the experience.
TV – My husband and I love to watch TV together. We just started watching Inventing Anna and we’re both hooked. I’ve heard mixed reviews of the series, but the whole story fascinates me so I’m predisposed to liking it. Plus, I think the acting is really top notch. We pause frequently and marvel at Anna’s accent, or ask each other who so-and-so actor is and where we remember him from, or discuss how WILD a certain plot point is. This is not solely a Date Night activity, but it’s still fun.
Games – We also love to play computer games together. There’s a very specific type of game we like, and it’s hard to find games that fit our specifications. We loved the Cube Escape and Rusty Lake games, for instance. I’d describe our preference as “combination of horror/mystery story and escape-room style puzzle solving.” We just started a new one called Reach. (If you have any recommendations, I’m interested!)
Here’s hoping our sitter is available, because I’m getting antsy to spend some time with my husband!
What does your ideal date night look like?
That’s a wonderful list of activities on a date night. I love going out to a movie then a Happy Hour. Or a bike ride on a nice day.
Oooh a bike ride date would be so fun!
Oh! I’m so hoping everything aligns so this can happen soon. I love dessert and food (in general!) and book, too! Sounds delightful <3
I feel the same way when guests come to stay; it feels like we become strangers passing in the night (literally)!
Honestly, my ideal "date" night would be getting away for at least 24 hours which…doesn't happen often. I find date nights out a bit exhausting; coordinating a babysitter, dressing up, timing the return home etc. And I hate spending money. Sad, but true. I always feel this pressure to enjoy the night, but also know how much the babysitter costs and what if I don't maximize my meal. This likely sounds crazy, but I just find it feels…pressured?!
I know many people love this experience but I have to admit it's just not how I prefer to reconnect.
Our go-to for the last few years (even pre-pandemic) has been at-home date nights and I love these! It started as a necessity because my husband was on the road so much we literally had weeks where we might only overlap for one evening. But the tradition has stuck and now we aim to do this both Saturday AND Sunday evenings.
It might sound boring to others, but it has been one of the best things we've ever done for our marriage. We feed the kids separately, make it a special event for them (usually a sleepover + they get to watch a movie), and then make something for just us to eat, hop into comfy clothes and watch a movie. Oh, and we call it Date Night. The last bit, for me, is crucial as it really elevates it (despite me turning up in my PJs). We turn down invites from friends and we rearrange our schedules to make this a decided priority.
Also – I didn't know you followed Mix and Match Mama. I've been reading her blog for almost a decade now!
I love your at home date nights! And that you are able to make it special for the kids! It doesn’t sound boring at all. I think it would be amazing to have date night in our own home — although I do somewhat enjoy dressing up and getting away and not having to do any dishes.
Oh, this is very sweet! We don’t go for dates…um, at all. I am going to count watching Schitt’s Creek and eating popcorn for a date. Wow, am I ever lame.
I hope you guys can get some nice alone time soon!
Honestly, I think whatever counts as spousal connection time “counts” as a date! Schitt’s Creek and popcorn are amazing!
A lot of our dates are just time on the couch with TV and an adult beverage, but they’re still dates! Our ultimate date is a long weekend vacation to a beach without the kids. We haven’t been able to do this since 2019 and probably won’t be able to do it for a bit longer for a variety of reasons, but it’s still the goal.
That sounds like an excellent goal!
We love to eat out when we can, but for an at-home date night, we get takeout and shake up some drinks and sit at our firetable on our porch where our kids can’t hear us (the neighbors can, but they seem less nosy!)
LOL!
“Dining in restaurants still feels… fraught. I am looking forward to warmer weather and the opening of restaurant patios!” I could have written this. I want to enjoy eating out again, but…
I’ve heard mixed reviews about Inventing Anna, but want to see it. Maybe this weekend if it rains all the time again and I/we can get no yard work done.
Gosh, we have not had a date night in so long – not since Feb 2020! Then the pandemic hit and then I got pregnant and it just hasn’t worked out. We were supposed to go to a couple’s 40th bday party in December and hired a babysitter and then the baby had a horrible allergic reaction to amoxicillin so we had to cancel the babysitter and take turns going (across the street) to the party. But maybe this summer we can swing something? Although as I’ve been sitting in my 4yo’s room for 30-60+ minutes, waiting for him to fall asleep, I’ve thought to myself that I don’t know how we could possibly hire a babysitter until he’s back to going to bed easily… Le sigh. But some day? Our 5-year wedding anniversary is in May so I would like to do something but I think a day date is probably more reasonable but not as fun…
But I used to get quality time with my husband from 7:30-8:30ish back when our son went to bed earlier and more easily. Oh how I long for those days! We would watch a show together and were in the middle of watching “The Drop Out” recently but then bedtime went off the rails and we are in a grand pause of watching that show.
Bedtime woes are so hard! I hope this phase passed quickly!
I hope your date night happens soon! I can’t even remember the last “date” we’ve had. Definitely, pre-pandemic. And now that we are looking at each other at least five days a week…I’m thinking we need a vacation from each other right about now. 😉
I definitely get that! Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that 😉
Pre-covid, dinner and a movie was standard. We’ve been to the movies a handful of times in the past year or so, but never just the two of us. Now we most often eat somewhere outside. Sometimes we go to a park for a walk/hike.
I love an outdoor date. My husband and I used to go on self-guided walking tours around the city together, but that was pre-kiddo. I miss that!
I love your idea for date nights! I also love reading the ideas in the comments too. I will use some of these when we are stumped for ideas. 🙂
I love that you hang out in bookstores together. That is so sweet and sounds like a great way to connect.
We were just in Europe together, so dinner out is not really necessary/justifiable. When we do go out, it is usually dinner, or ice cream. A movie while we fall asleep on the couch is pretty standard too. We are not creative date night people.
Attending our kids’ basketball games is another thing we do together when possible. Right now the different teams mean one of us is out of town a lot.
We are currently in Florida and we went for a walk yesterday. We also walked on the beach for a while. So when the weather at home improves and we are not traveling for bball, then we will be able to go for walk too.