My mom was visiting over Christmas and I was getting the table ready for dinner, filling water glasses, swooping bread into the bread basket, moving salt and pepper shakers from the counter to the table. You know.
As I was filling up my mother’s glass with water from the fridge, she said, “I’m not a nice person.”
I was SHOCKED. Shocked. That she would say such a thing, of course. But that she would announce it like this, while we were all milling about in the kitchen before sitting down to eat.
“What?!” I said. “That’s not true!”
She looked at me with confusion. Then realization dawned.
“I just meant I don’t want ice in my water,” she clarified. “I’m not an ICE person.”
Oh.
This has since become family code for little misunderstandings. My husband out of nowhere says Carla is not allowed in the basement… but really he said she’s being loud in the basement. Once we clear up that confusion, one of us will say, “I’m not a nice person.”
Or maybe my husband offers to bring me a snack, but I tell him I’m not in the mood for popcorn… when he brings me popcorn anyway, I will say, “I’m not a nice person.”
That kind of thing.
We have several little code words and phrases, none of which would make sense to anyone beyond the two of us. Even Carla, I think, is a little perplexed by some of the little inside jokes.
We were reading a book to her the other night, for instance, and my husband mispronounced the word “candelabra.”
This is something he and I do automatically, any time it comes up, after watching an episode of The Amazing Race many many years ago in which a contestant mispronounced the word. (Can-DELL-uh-brah.) I don’t know why it struck us as so notable then (it’s not an intuitive word!), or why it’s something that’s had such staying power.
The other thing we say all the time is, “Just switching things up.” This is something we say in response to someone – including one of us – doing something baffling. Like, why did you Venmo the old babysitter instead of the swim instructor? Just switching things up. Why did that person choose to turn left at a red light? They’re obviously just switching things up. That kind of thing.
This derives from a road trip we went on with friends a million years ago. Our friend was driving the other car in our group, and he kept passing us on the freeway… and then slowing down so drastically that we had to pass him. When we reached our destination, my husband asked him why he didn’t maintain a constant speed and he shrugged and said, “I just like to switch things up.” It has stuck with us ever since.
I loved every word of this post. 🙂 And the title made me laugh out loud (before I read the post) because that is just the complete opposite of the way I imagine you to be! Thank you for sharing your family fun with us. <3
I loved this whole post so much.
My brother, while recovering from knee surgery, said to his wife with faux earnestness, “When you speak to me in that tone of voice, it makes my knee hurt” (she was not using a tone of voice, but had instead told him that they were out of the snack food he was asking for). We now say this ALL THE TIME, sometimes the entire thing, sometimes just the first half trailing off, sometimes just the second half.
If I say something incredulous to Paul about some household thing he’s done strangely, he’ll say “I’M LIKE THE WIND, BABY.”
We pretty frequently say the word “edumacation” after seeing something that affectionately mocked Jessica Simpson for “platymapus,” or whatever it was she said, by appointing her the Director of Edumacation.
This was such a fun post to read. My husband and I will use the word epitome, but pronounce it epi-tome because back in 1998 a mutual friend said that Lake Louise is the epi-tome of beauty.
A girlfriend I used to work with and I will use the word swampled, as we were going to go for a walk on a lunch break and she IM’ed me and said “sorry I can’t go, I am swampled.”
Loved the look into your family sayings! We have them too but they are much more specific. For example, my parents grew up in a small town and would sometimes say, “He’s as sober as Judge Connell.” (the judge was the town alcoholic)
I am just picturing the expressions on your face and your mother’s face during that exchange, and laughing!
Being nice is overrated. I know a person who used to tell everyone that her motto was do the right thing. Like your experience with your mother it didn’t quite mean what you might think it might mean. What people do and what they mean are two different things. Loved this.
What a fun post! Although, I was ready to rush in and tell you that you ARE a nice person.
I’m trying to think if we have any random sayings…I’m sure we do, but none come to mind.
Love this!!
When I first met and was seriously dating my now husband, I went out for drinks with a friend who had already been married for 10 years and when I told her that I was thinking of proposing she launched into an EPIC rant about how marriage will ruin your life, you will lose yourself to motherhood, etc. The rant ended with, “and one day you will wake up, look at your husband, and think WHO THE F*CK DID I MARRY?!?!” Fast forward 6 years, she is (happily) divorced and my husband and I use the phrase “WHO THE F*CK DID I MARRY?!” all the time when the other person does something unexpected or strange. For example, “did you just pour Italian dressing on your cesar salad?? WHO THE F*CK DID I MARRY?!”
I should add that my friend is also now in on the joke, too! When talking about her life pre-divorce she will occasionally say, “but really though, who the f*ck did I marry?! And WHY?!”
Haha, I love this so much. There’s nothing better than these little idiosyncrasies between couples 🙂 my husband and I use similar code words and phrases (some of which are a mix of German/English, which is so fun because really NOBODY could understand what’s going on LOL).
I love this! My fiancé and I have a ton of inside words and phrases. My favorite is ‘hoopa-doo’, used as kind of an acknowledgement/acceptance. No idea where it came from. We also consistently pronounce acetaminophen as “assee-TEM-oh-no-phen”
So funny. Coach was upset once because he felt we were all disappointed in the fact that he was making burgers but wasn’t putting cheese on them . . . he came in from the grill and huffed DON’T LOOK AT ME. We say that ALL.THE.TIME.NOW.
LOL! I love this.
This was such a fun post. Is there anything better than an inside joke?! I’m giggling at the thought of your mom just randomly busting out with “I’m not a nice person!”
We have so many in my family. My mom once told me a story of someone she worked with whose daughter, when she was maybe 2 or 3, just burst out with “Tell that b**** I said hey!” Apparently, it was something she had picked up from her mom! The story KILLED my mom and me, so now we say it to each other all the time, like if I’m going to hang out with a friend that my mom knows. “Tell that b**** I said hey!”